


All Eyes on Me

by Aurum_Auri



Series: Camboy Omegaverse [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abduction, Aftercare, Alpha Victor, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Bonding, Breeding Kink, Camming, Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Happy Ending, Heats, Jealousy, Kink Negotiation, Knotting, M/M, Mutual Pining, Omega Yuuri, Overstimulation, Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessiveness, Riding, Rimming, Sad Wank, Scenting, Size Kink, Stalking, Student Yuuri, Switching, The Author Regrets Nothing, Toys, Voyeurism, cam boy Victor, cam boy Yuuri, hung Victor, size queen yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 07:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 157,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurum_Auri/pseuds/Aurum_Auri
Summary: Yuuri, under the username of Eros, is a size queen omega who most certainly does not have an obsession with fellow camboy and legendary silver-haired alpha Aria. Just like Phichit is not the most meddlesome roommate known to man.





	1. InnocentEros

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [All Eyes On Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163028) by [gold_on_ice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gold_on_ice/pseuds/gold_on_ice)



> Guess who was going to finish Russian Blue and then got distracted because they're trash like that? That's right. Auri. Who also likes to combine two already popular story ideas because she's unimaginative like that. Yeah.
> 
> Mostly, I took a step back and wondered why no ever one considered what porn would be like in an omegaverse.

When Phichit encouraged him to ‘branch out’, Yuuri assumed it would mean a few scattered lessons in a few styles of dance that Yuuri had never tried before. He never anticipated he'd end up with a career he couldn't tell his parents about, and a kink that made him seek increasingly daring avenues to satisfy himself.

It all started like something out of the setup of a bad joke. An introverted omega ballet student with mountains of student debt and crippling anxiety issues walks into a pole dancing class. It was funny.

But the rest, as they say, was history.

“Let's eat out,” Phichit said as they walked. The air was cool, a little sharp for spring, but not unpleasant. Yuuri straightened up his jacket on his shoulders to ward off the chill.

“You know we've got leftovers.”

“If I eat chicken again, I'm gonna scream,” Phichit complained. “Come on, Yuuri. You made at least a couple hundred last night. Be cagy about totals all you like. I know you're good for it.”

Yuuri kissed his teeth. Three years of shoestring budgeting habits didn't disappear overnight. But he was also tired from class, and he was going to work in a few hours. He'd definitely want the energy.

“Fine,” he agreed. “Just nothing too unhealthy.”

“Okay mom,” Phichit said, and they changed directions on the spot. “How about pizza? Pizza’s a vegetable, right?”

“That's not what I meant.” But Yuuri was smiling.

“So, what's the plan for work tonight? Anything special?” Phichit asked. “Should I set something up? Post a tweet?”

“I was thinking a toy auction. Rent’s due next week,” Yuuri said. He bit his lip. Last time hadn't been the best experience. Hopefully it went better tonight, or he'd consider dropping the idea entirely.

Worst came to worst, he'd ask Phichit to nudge the totals around with his magical mod powers. Yuuri still didn't know how he did half the things he did, but Phichit’s knowledge of computers and social media was second to none. The last thing Yuuri wanted was for some asshole with a wallet bigger than Yuuri’s favorite dildo to suggest his goddamned hairbrush again.

The handle’s silicone ribbing meant it was quite comfortable for holding. It was not quite as pleasant up his ass, and he had to throw it out because he couldn't really look at it the same way again. All because he'd left it on the desk. Where people could see. And they got excited.

Camming was not always everything it was cracked up to be.

Phichit just smiled knowingly. “Don't forget to clean your room this time.” When Yuuri glared, he laughed.

They ate a quick dinner and returned home to their third floor apartment. Yuuri did clean his room, hiding anything remotely phallic from sight, and pulled out the box of toys from his closet to leave on his desk. Nothing to chance. That was Yuuri.

The familiar nerves were bubbling near the surface, but there was an odd excitement there, too. The rush that came from knowing that, any minute, there would be hundreds of people in his room, watching him, unable to look away, unable to touch. His heart fluttered.

The setup was always the worst part. The anxiety ate him alive, as Phichit set up the camera, laid white t-shirts over the lamps to soften the lighting, and fired up their laptops out of view. Three proxies later, Modman MemeLord was the first to sign in. Yuuri told him every day how much he hated Phichit’s username. It never failed to make Phichit glow with pride.

But Yuuri was shaking. He had showered, changed into something a little less appropriate, ditched the scentblocking patches, and was now taking slow, deep breaths, trying to keep from cutting it off and calling it a night before it even started. He stood on shaky legs, blinking around the discomfort of contact lenses.

He slicked his hair back one last time. He could do this. He took a deep breath as Phichit signed the next account in.

After a brief countdown, Yuuri Katsuki had officially left the building. His replacement, InnocentEros, was anything but innocent.

Eros reclined on the bed, a vision of omegan beauty, dressed now in a soft, black sweater, loose jeans, socks, and a pair of tight, black boxer briefs. His face was made up under Phichit’s careful hand, just enough to bring out the darkness of his irises, the large, rounded shape of his eyes. His neck was a bared, long and flawless and showing off an unmarked scent gland with a tilt of his head. As a beta, Phichit wouldn't be entirely unaffected by Yuuri’s scent, but they both knew neither of them were the least bit inclined to act on it.

Yuuri let a smirk travel across his face as his regulars hopped on. Ten o'clock EST, right on the dot.

“Smile pretty, Eros,” Phichit called out, and Eros did. His mind steadied, his nerves faded, and he knew all eyes were on him.

“Good evening,” he greeted the first few sign-ons, his voice slow and deep and smooth. “My oh-so-wonderful moderator has got the poll up already for you, so make your choices now before we begin. For those tuning in for the first time, the link is available in the description, next to a brief explanation.” Yuuri fluttered his eyes at the camera. “Give me five to ten, and we’ll get things started.”

It was a system they had developed months ago, and it was one that proved to be a popular choice. There were three options available, always, without fail. The playboy, the beautiful woman, and Eros’s choice.

It started as a bit of a joke. They'd had a Creative Writing elective together about the time this whole thing started a year ago, and they were required to come up with a story together. Phichit had been only half sarcastic, claiming they needed a false backstory for Yuuri’s cam identity, and this was the perfect opportunity. They didn't end up using the finished document in class, but it did end up on Yuuri’s official Instagram page for his cam persona.

Phichit managed the whole thing, keeping it classy and professional, and with his help, they'd doubled, then tripled the number of regulars. What had started as a small way of widening margins by shades, and getting Yuuri’s rocks off when nothing else would, ended up making them decent money. Now the system was routine, and Yuuri did love routine.

The thing was, people didn't just come for sex. Which baffled Yuuri. For some reason, they liked talking to him.

They asked him about things like the exercise ball in the back of his room, except those comments often concluded with some variation of ‘I'd love to fuck you on that ball’. Then someone else would make lewd comments, like wanting to watch Yuuri’s ass jiggle while he bounced on the ball, especially if they were fucking him _on_ the ball, and Yuuri would chat for a while, and then offer to shove something up his ass for a few coins. It was a system that worked well for everyone.

Yuuri didn't just masturbate on camera, though. It had started like that, unsure and fumbling, nervous beyond belief and so painfully, incredibly aroused that he was certain his show had been terrible. But then people wanted to know how he stayed so trim, the answer being lots and lots of excercise and dance practice, and then they wanted to watch him work out, and then somehow along the way people started asking him for tv show recommendations after he jerked off.

Life.

He glanced away from the camera to the computer screen Phichit had pointed at the bed. The display showed a chat stream and a thumbnail image of himself reclined comfortably, legs splayed slightly. He recognized a few usernames signing in.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **there u r cutie. missed u <33

 **> >Beater18: **STRIP STRIP STRIP

**> CandyMan has sent 100 coins**

**> >CandyMan: **Hey bby ;) What’s good?

Yuuri smiled indulgently, letting his persona wash over him. “Been busy, you know how it is,” he said, winking back at the camera. He slid his hand over himself, teasing down his chest to flick at his waistband.

 **> > OG-Dom: **When can I watch my cute little omega dance for me again ;)

“I was planning something soon. But I've got to get the space cleared first. Mod’s been talking to some people and he thinks he's found a new place.” Yuuri glanced at Phichit, who gave a little sideways thumbs gesture and a shrug. “Hasn't heard back yet.”

 **> >OG-Dom: **That's a shame. Tell MemeLord we’re waiting!

**> OG-Dom has sent 250 coins**

Yuuri groaned. “Don't indulge him. He's insufferable enough already without you calling him that. Ugh, mod, stop grinning like that.” Phichit chuckled.

 **> >AlphaButtStuff: **new here. Ur mods in the room w/ u? Wtf.

 **> >Cherriboyhunter: **dude that's memelord, first of his name, king of booty shots, and our only way of seeing new sexy eros pictures online. their friendship is beautiful. show some respect.

**> Stargirlxxx has sent 100 coins**

**> >Stargirlxxx: **Fucking noobs.

“Love you too, cherry boy!” Phichit laughed. “Don't worry, butt stuff, I’ll make myself scarce once the show starts. I'm just here in case Eros gets something stuck up his hamster hole again.”

“That was one time!” Yuuri hissed. “And I swear to god, stop calling my asshole a hamster hole. You're so not funny.”

Phichit just flashed his shit eating grin.

“Anyway!” Yuuri said pointedly, his cheeks flushing furiously.

 **> >Thunderfuck:** Shit, I love it when you look flustered.

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **Seen that new action movie yet? The one I recommended?

“Not yet,” Yuuri said, trying to calm himself back down. Phichit had thrown him off, and he needed to be fully Eros tonight. It didn't help that the chat was currently showing an unnecessary amount of appreciation for Yuuri and Phichit’s teasing friendship. Thank god for Stargirlxxx and her distractions. “Like I said, it's been a bit busy? I've got time next week though.” He let a lazy smirk cross his lips.

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **Lemme know if you want me to join you ;)) Maybe we can have fun after. Or during??

“Sorry, Stargirl, I’d love to say yes, but I just can't. You know how it is,” Yuuri said, holding out his hands in an apologetic gesture. Meeting with anyone meant revealing his location, and that was the last thing Yuuri wanted. Living this life online was one thing, bringing it to the real world was another thing entirely. “Ok, mod, how are we looking on the poll?”

“We’re looking at Eros’s choice in the top slot. Got a special announcement for the boys and girls?”

Yuuri tipped his head invitingly, rising onto his knees on his bed. “I do, in fact, thank you.” He felt the weight of the camera watching him, and glanced at the number of subscribers tuning in. His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. More than normal. All of them watching him. A shiver ran down his spine.

He reached for the box of toys, stretching out as luxuriously as a cat, letting the sweater inch up his stomach by degrees. A little flash of skin, a tease of what was to come. He smiled.

“I've got a special treat for you all tonight. We’re holding another auction. Highest bidder picks tonight's toy. Your selections…” Yuuri said, splaying them out for all to see. There was a stream of chat messages popping up, all of them interested in what was available.

“Be gentle with me?” he asked.

 **> >alphalite**: we no u lyke it ruf bb ^_- fck urself on tht ribbd purple 1

**> alphalite has sent 400 coins **

Yuuri giggled. “Don't tell me you're typing with one hand already?”

A stream of messages flooded the screen, and Phichit eyed them as they passed, tapping his lips with a pen. Counting in his head, runnng totals as they flashed by.

**> BigDickDaddy has sent 2000 coins**

**> >BigDickDaddy:** Red one. Close your eyes and pretend it's me <3

**> CandyMan has sent 2100 coins**

**> >CandyMan: **Pink one down your throat, red one in your pretty little hole. It vibrates, right?

“It does,” Yuuri answered, demurely crossing his legs at the edge of the bed. He was deciding which side of his persona to adopt tonight. He liked it when the audience picked for him, but he also relished in pushing it at his own pace. Playboy, or the most beautiful woman in town tonight?

The coins flooded in, but the consensus was quickly reached. Yuuri replaced his toys in the box with a flirty wink and left the pink and red ones out.

Red was a monstrous thing, long and thick like an alpha’s cock with a bulge near the bottom like a deflating knot. Yuuri would definitely feel it tomorrow. The remote was passed to Phichit, who would turn it on and off, adjusting the vibration intensity based off how the coins flowed.

Pink was a sweeter one, smaller and easier to take. It was more anatomically correct than the red, and was likely modeled after an uncut beta. Yuuri set them aside.

“My favorite. You spoil me,” Yuuri cooed. He ran his fingers lovingly over the red phallus, giving it a few suggestive strokes. The omega in him was aching to be filled, to have that silicon thickness shoved inside him, but Yuuri would wait. He could be patient. “Well,” he said, setting the toy down on the bedsheets. “You know how to get this started. I leave it to you.”

 **> >69B4N4N4M4N69: **STRIP PLS

 **> >alphalite: **dn’t b fkn stpd, banana.

**> alphalite has sent 400 coins**

**> >alphalite: **shirt 1st, eros

**> 69B4N4N4M4N69 has sent 400 coins**

**> >69B4N4N4M4N69:** PANTS NXT PLS THX EROS

**> BittyBetaBoi has sent 100 coins**

**> >BittyBetaBoi: **make it nice and slow

Yuuri nodded, running his fingers along his middle. “I can do that. You want me to take it slow?” he asked, easing the tips of his fingers along the skin of his stomach. He rolled his stomach, remembering that belly dancing class he'd taken four months ago. Never again, but at least he'd gotten a good workout for his hips out of it.

He lifted the sweater slowly, easing it up to show the lines of his stomach. A few stretch marks shimmered on his skin like faded tiger stripes. Yuuri had once been deeply self-conscious about them. But exposure and money had won out, and now he didn't even blink, just raised the sweater another inch higher, rolling his pelvis against the bed.

He wanted more, more, but the money was better when he took it slow… a few more coins were sent, and Yuuri teased the sweater higher.

“You like?” he breathed.

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **jesus let me fuck you, have my babies you beautiful bastard

Yuuri grinned. He waited for a few more coins to come through before he rolled the sweater over his head, sliding his arms out. He tossed it offscreen. “Pants next, right?”

Yuuri flicked his fingers over his fly, smoothing his hand down over his crotch with featherlight touches. He could feel himself starting to stiffen, pants slowly tightening as the strip tease began, and he hummed to himself.

 **> >Cherriboyhunter:** wanna suck ur cock cutie lemme see it

**> Cherriboyhunter sent 200 coins **

Yuuri popped the button on his jeans, easing the zipper down with excruciating slowness. He reached in and fondled himself through the briefs. He closed his eyes. He could feel himself starting to slicken up, his hole growing wetter in anticipation. Soon.

He eased the denim over his hips. He shimmied when they stuck, playing off the issue as just another slow roll of his waist. He eased from his knees to flat on his back, kicking his feet up into the air to tug the jeans off his legs. He smiled playfully, his legs falling open to show the now-bulging briefs.

More coins, and off came the socks. Yuuri toyed with the waistband of his briefs. “What about these?”

 **> >69B4N4N4M4N69: **FUUUUUCK UR THA HOTTEST OMEGA EVR

 **> >alphalite: **god banana jst jizz in ur pants like a fkn teenager, why dn’t u.

Yuuri smiled. “Don't fight, come on, now,” he said. “Does someone want these gone?” He rocked up onto his knees, twisting so his ass would be on display for the camera. He bent low, showing off the smooth curve of his derrière. “I'm feeling so empty, you know? I need a big, thick alpha to fill me up. Can't anyone help?”

The coins rushed in, and Yuuri smiled. He toyed with the briefs, flicking them down an inch or so around the swell of his butt. His ass was his strongest asset, or so he'd been told. He let his hands ease over the skin. One hand slipped under the fabric, cupping an ass cheek before moving to the middle, rubbing down the cleft. Yuuri pitched back his head and whimpered.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **Fuck you need it bad, don't you, baby? Such a pretty face you're making.

“Mmm, want more,” he groaned to himself. He eased his boxer briefs lower, settling them where his thighs met his asscheeks, gathering there uncomfortably. He shoved them down his thighs, hitching them around where his knees dug into the bed. “Please watch me.”

He said it softly, like a prayer, a quiet plea for the only thing he ever needed. The hand on his ass tucked between the cheeks, rubbing against his hole. His head bowed and his back arched, a low groan escaping his lips.

“Please, give it to me, I need it,” he gasped, circling his middle finger around his entrance. He splayed his cheeks apart with his thumb and ring finger.

**> jizzjazz has sent 100 coins **

**> >jizzjazz:** stick it in, omega slut

Yuuri bit his lip as Phichit kicked jizzjazz from the stream without hesitation. It still took a few deep breaths to get back into himself, let the insult be buried in his mind under waves and waves of lust and Eros. The insult rankled in a deeper place than Yuuri was willing to touch.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **What an asshole. Don't listen to that fuck.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **Spread your legs for me, beautiful. Let me see you. You’re gorgeous.

Yuuri hummed his appreciation. Jizzjazz’s comment would be forefront in his mind when the stream ended. But for now, he had all eyes on him. He closed his eyes again, trying to get back into the feeling.

He wrapped his free hand around his length, resting a shoulder against the bedsheets, tucking a finger against his entrance with a half-smile. He shimmied his ass, and then very deliberately slid his legs a few inches apart, waiting.

He heard the chime of coins, and his legs slid a little further. “Mmm, need you alpha,” Yuuri whimpered, throwing a sultry look at the camera.

Viewer self-reported polls indicated a large majority of his viewers identified as alpha male, a smaller percentage being beta male and female and alpha female. At the very least, watching him whimper for an alpha like an omega in heat was something that would interest them all. He hoped.

He gave his cock a few strokes, thumbing at the precum weeping from the slit. His eyes closed. He could feel slick rolling past his finger, spilling down his thighs. He needed this. Oh, he needed this so badly. He could feel the weight of the camera like a tangible thing, a pressure on his spine that felt delicious and warm and as good as a full-sized, well endowed alpha. It felt like what Yuuri imagined Aria felt like.

Aria was another cam boy. His time slot was usually before Eros’s, and Yuuri would never dare start until he had finished. Aria wasn't just the most beautiful alpha Yuuri had ever seen. He commanded a legion of devoted followers, so many that it put Yuuri’s collection of regulars to shame. Aria was also hung. Yuuri’s poor heart couldn't take it.

His eyes fluttered appreciatively, already seeing it now in his mind. Aria’s long, slender fingers, his skin pale as the moon and smooth as silk, sliding over Yuuri’s skin in feathering touches, teasing, drawing him out, encouraging him to beg.

 **> >OG-Dom: **Such a pretty omega, push your fingers in. Two at once. You can take it, can't you?

**> OG-Dom has sent 500 coins**

“It’s so much,” he simpered to the camera, fluttering his lashes. “I don’t know if I can…”

 **> >OG-Dom: **Try for me, Eros?

Yuuri circled his hole one more time and pressed two fingers against the entrance. He tipped back his head, flashing another look at his untouched scent gland, before he plunged the fingers inside himself.

He gasped at the sudden fullness. It was hard to stay loose as an omega. His body was intent on staying tight and hot, and any stretching done in previous days retreated faster than Yuuri would like. Two at once felt like a big jump, but for the red dildo, he'd get started.

“Aaah, yes, oh,” Yuuri gasped, tipping his hips up higher so his hole was on display. There was a soft sound like footsteps whispering over carpet, and Yuuri knew without looking that Phichit was circling him with the camera in hand, providing a new perspective of Yuuri’s fingers vanishing inside himself. Slick leaked around his fingers, shiny and clear, wetting the way.

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** scissor now

The running commentary beneath the commands fell away, and Yuuri’s attention became laser focused. He scissored his fingers, imagining Aria leaning over him, silver hair falling over the bluest eyes Yuuri had ever seen, breath whispering over his shoulder as he worked Yuuri open.

Yuuri shuddered, letting out a long, keening groan. Aria had ruined him. Hadn't even touched him, and he had ruined Yuuri. Ruined Eros. He sucked his lower lip between his teeth. He needed more. More.

“Please,” he gasped.

He felt like playing the helpless omega, desperate and wanting, but ready to take what he needed when the desire was too great. Under the command of comments and coins, he worked himself up to a third finger, then a fourth, sliding them in and out of his fluttering hole with a tinge of desperation. They were watching. They wanted this. They knew he could do better. Be better.

“Want you,” he gasped.

 **> >CandyMan: **Pink cock in your mouth, pretty boy. Open wide for me.

 **> >BittyBetaBoi:** kiss it, eros. looks just like mine, bet you want it don't you?

Yuuri nodded, releasing his cock reluctantly and reaching for the pink toy. It was bigger than he was, though omegas were rarely particularly well endowed to begin with, and this particular beta cock was a little larger than average. He pressed his mouth to the tip. His lips parted, and he mouthed delicately at the head.

His omega was preening, hungry, needing more, and Yuuri slipped it between his lips, taking more into his mouth. His cheeks hollowed as he suckled, still working his fingers in and out, scissoring the four to widen himself up as much as he could.

By official measurements, Big Red was still a smaller toy than Aria’s cock. It made Yuuri shiver.

Sweet Pink was easier to mouth, and it gave him a place to drown his whispery gasps. He took more, more, pressing the head against his throat until the fake balls were at his chin and the head was choking him. A tear slipped down his cheek. He moaned appreciatively.

He almost forgot about the chat, until a chorus of quiet alerts told him that they were wanting the main event, and were more than willing to pay.

He pulled the fingers out of his ass, groaning around the plastic phallus in his mouth at the sudden emptiness. His sloppy fingers scrabbled along the bed, seeking the length of red, and finding it with a tip of his hips and a stretch his viewers would love.

“Alpha,” he gasped. He pulled back off the pink toy for a breath of air. “Alpha please.” He lined the tip against his entrance. His mouth closed back around the beta toy and he waited.

 **> >alphalite:** go slw wanna wtch it splt u opn fck urslf good eros

**> alphalite has sent 300 coins**

Yuuri pressed the head of the beta toy against his cheek, knowing it would show the bulge of fullness in his mouth as he turned his attention to the red toy.

The thick, blunt head pressed insistently against his entrance, stubborn and unmoving without a little force. Yuuri gave it a nudge, working a finger in first. A gush of slick poured down his legs. He shivered at the coolness, sliding the dildo briefly over the spill before bringing it back to his hole and pressing in.

His whole body shuddered as he worked it in, inch by inch, getting the fullness of the head past the ring of muscle. He gasped and wriggled, but continued to push, slow and steady, working the thickness inside. With his eyes closed, he could almost pretend it was Aria behind him, slotting their hips together, pushing in with slow thrusts.

He gasped, eyeing the screen with it plunged halfway in, rolling his hips.

The approval was as clear as a sea of text could be, a stream of appreciation of his ass, his hole, the way he took it so well. Yuuri licked up the side of the pink toy and focused his attention on it, losing himself in the motions of pleasuring an imaginary beta while he struggled to work the thickness in.

It was tight, almost agonizingly so, and yet his body slowly gave, accommodating the girth of the toy as it worked deeper in. Yuuri had seen other omegas flag, their erections softening under the onslaught of too much, too big, too fast, but the thought of it only made Yuuri harder.

He ached for it, the feeling of being split open by something so big. “Alpha,” he gasped around the toy. “Alpha, more. Fuck me,” he whimpered.

 **> >Cherriboyhunter:** gotchu bby. keep it going, nice n slow just like that. i’d roll my hips, fill your virgin hole tight, make you scream

 **> >CandyMan: **Baby boy’s no virgin. Look at how he takes it. Beautiful.

 **> >Cherriboyhunter: **he's never said either way so let me pretend

Yuuri closed his eyes. If they were bickering, he obviously wasn't distracting them well enough. Their attention should be on him, and him alone.

He thrust the rest of the dildo in with a sudden jolt of his hips, letting out a long, shuddering groan as he twitched, spitted between the two toys. He could feel the bulge of the fake knot rubbing against his entrance, but he wouldn't fit it in just yet. There was time for that later.

The number of viewers ticked up slowly, tuning in just in time for the main event.

Yuuri groaned as he adjusted to the size, stilling for a moment. It was so long, so big, reaching deep inside him until it felt like he couldn't move without it rubbing against something deep within him.

**> BigDickDaddy has sent 300 coins**

**> >BigDickDaddy: **buzz buzz. Level 1 pls, mod <3 make him feel good.

Yuuri hadn't even read the message before his entire body shuddered, a strangled yelp escaping him as the toy jerked to life inside of him, vibrating at its lowest intensity.

The rumbling was just on the right side of pleasant, and the pain of the stretch was diluted under the wash of delicious pleasure crashing over him in waves. He licked at the toy in his mouth, pulling it away from his lips so a string of saliva connected them.

“Aaahhaah,” he whimpered, twitching his hips and growing more worked up the more the thickness moved inside of him. Trying to escape the vibration only made the toy inside of him jerk pleasurably against his insides, making him fuck back down to his bed, rutting against the sheets helplessly. He chased his release in his fist, swallowing down the pink toy again deep enough to keep it in his mouth as he palmed his erection, slicking his hand over the wetness on his thighs, gathering it in his fingers to ease the friction.

The toy changed speeds inside of him, likely at another poster’s request, and Yuuri was reeling at the change. He was getting close. They couldn't look away. They were all watching him, eyes locked as he thrust back, drawing the toy out and thrusting it back in with a rush of thrill.

He was chasing his orgasm in earnest, the show falling away. There was just the heat, the stretch, the thought of Aria behind him, pounding into him with his big alpha cock… Yuuri groaned again as the toy passed over his prostate, sending an eruption of sweet pleasure rocketing through him.

He cracked an eye, regretful. This wasn't just for him. He had his audience. He needed to satisfy, to make them feel as pleasured and attended to as he felt right now. He glanced over the messages quickly, but there was nothing except praises for the sound of his moaning.

Another popped onto the screen. Yuuri did a double take.

**> AriaAlpha has sent 6000 coins **

**> >AriaAlpha: **scream my username, beautiful?

Yuuri bit his lip, failing to hold back a shuddering groan that came before he could stop it. It wasn't the real Aria, but Yuuri’s body had certainly reacted like it was.

Phichit made no real secret of Eros’s fondness for Aria’s endowments, although he was at the very least circumspect enough to keep it quiet just how far the appreciation went.

Officially, and according to his personal webpage run by Phichit, Eros found any sufficiently-sized cock nice to look at… Aria being just an example given. Yuuri’s stance, much less publicly known, was that he was sick of all the dick pics, and that Aria’s was _perfect._ So Yuuri had a few of the pictures from Aria’s website saved on his phone. Maybe too many screenshots from his shows.

And he was also one hundred percent certain that this was someone’s idea of a joke. Especially since usernames were not that hard to come by, and he'd heard at least two Aria-related jokes in the past that he hadn't shrugged off quite as well as he'd hoped. Aria had better things to do than watch amateur hour with Eros.

Still, at 6000 coins, it was a joke Yuuri would be more than happy to follow along with, especially if it meant moaning out Aria’s name the way he'd always fantasized about. He considered the idea, moaning when the toy rocked inside him again. Then smiled prettily at the screen.

Might as well indulge in a little fantasy of his, if fake Aria was going to round out his coin goal for tonight like this. He eased his fingers off his cock, already missing the touch, and pulled the pink toy from his lips, chest heaving from exertion and arousal.

“Yes, of course, Aria, alpha,” he gasped. “Feels so good.” He rocked back, rising up on his knees and then falling back with his ass on his heels until he was kneeling, holding the base of the toy flush against the bed. “Wanna ride you. Please.” He popped up his hips slightly, exposing a flash of red silicone slipping in and out of his dripping hole. “Please, Aria.”

His voice was ragged, edged in a bit of desperation. His heart was racing as he watched the screen.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **please do

Yuuri shuddered, rocking up to slip the length of the toy out, tall and proud on the bed, leaving his body entirely. He positioned himself over it and plunged down, taking the length in one gasping go. “Aria, Aria,” he cried. “Ah, Aria, feels so good.”

He bounced up and down, feeling his own neglected cock slap against his skin with each rise and fall, riding the toy harder and faster than usual. Aria’s name fell from his lips in desperate moans. His head lolled back, body flushed and shining with sweat, needing more. Amongst the praise and commands, the flashing of coins on screen, another post appeared. Yuuri fixated on the name like it was his saving grace.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **touch yourself

Yuuri nodded, unable to form words that weren't Aria’s name, imagining it was him that Yuuri was bowed over. Yuuri skittered his hand over himself, feeling a trail of drool track down his chin as he fucked himself open with abandon. It was Aria’s hand around him, Aria slicking his fingers around Yuuri’s cock and stroking him with each thrust, tipping his hips up to meet every one of Yuuri’s falls and slam even deeper than the last. Aria’s cock, with its nest of perfect silver hair, thrusting up into him like his hottest, wettest dream.

“Aria, Aria!” He was desperate now, on edge and painfully close. “I'm close, I'm so close,” he cried, cracking his eyes open.

**> AriaAlpha has sent 4000 coins**

**> >AriaAlpha: **Stop. Don't cum yet.

Yuuri clenched his fingers around the base of his cock, not because he wanted to, but because it's what Aria would have done, would have wanted him to do. Yuuri stopped riding, sinking down one last time onto the thickness with a low groan, whimpering with need.

“Aria, please,” he begged, fluttering his lashes in that way that always earned him a rush of coins. He watched the screen, waiting, breathing heavily as his aching erection dripped precum all over his fingers. Messy and wet, that was how his fans liked him, on his knees and begging. He ignored the others, waiting for a response from Aria, waiting for the next command.

He sank a fraction lower, and the press of the small knot rubbed insistently at his entrance. He whimpered hopefully, rolling his hips against it, his cock pointed helplessly at the ceiling with his fingers looped around himself, holding back his orgasm.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **you're so wet for me, aren't you, Eros? Enjoying yourself that much?

Yuuri nodded, taking shaky breaths to slow his racing heart.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **is that a knot there on the end? Think you can take that for me?

Yuuri had never actually taken the toy all the way in, but he kept nodding, pressing the thickness against himself. Pushing it in took a bit of grunting and gasping, but after a few tries, it passed the ring of muscle, clenched within him and held tight. He panted, and yet he was harder than ever. He felt so full, so damned full. He was crying tears of elation.

“Aria, so full, so good,” he gasped. He felt like he was flying. “Aria, please, please,” he begged.

Yuuri closed his eyes, breathing faster. There was a pause, and then another message. Yuuri read it quickly, heart seizing up.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **max setting on the vibrator, please

Yuuri let out a feral howl as the vibrator ripped to life inside him, leaving him writhing on the bed as the thickness buzzed delicious agony to every part of him, vibrating against his prostate, his rim, split open to perfection and watched over by Aria himself. Yuuri cried into his sheets, moaning and panting, gasping Aria’s name like his life depended on it.

“Aria, please, please,” he cried, fingers clenching desperately around his cock and balls as he tried to keep from coming, just as he was told, but his resolve wavering. “I need to cum, please, let me cum.”

Everything was electric and bright, the need so acute that he was going to burst regardless of his best attempts otherwise.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **Let it out, beautiful. Cum for me.

Yuuri’s whole body shuddered. He barely got three strokes in before his body jerked, and suddenly he was spilling, ripped straight over the edge, cumming harder and faster than he could remember ever doing before. He screamed Aria’s name. His hips moved in phantom thrusts, milking everything out of the vibrations turning his insides to jelly, impossible to escape with the knot holding it inside and in place, pressed flush against his sweetest spot inside him.

He gasped as the vibration cut off at last. His body sagged, boneless and limp, into the sheets. He opened his eyes to blink at the screen. The messages were coming faster than he could read them all, but he managed to glance at the only one that mattered before it vanished.

 **> >AriaAlpha: **sorry for hijacking your show. When I saw you, I just couldn't resist ;)

“It’s fine,” Yuuri rasped.

His body was going to _hate_ him tomorrow. He still had the little plastic knot inside him, and he wasn't sure which was worse: knowing all of that gloriously thick phallus was still shoved inside him, making every movement pure torture, or the knowledge that he'd have to pull the knot past his rim in order to get the dildo out. But that was still the best orgasm of his life, bar none, so Yuuri wasn't complaining too terribly. He just didn't dare move.

“That was interesting,” Yuuri panted quietly. “You don't have to apologize.” Imposter Aria also sent in 10,000 coins in one night, so that was something else, and he'd used the one username that could have convinced Yuuri to do it for free. Yuuri gasped when a small shift in position rubbed the toy against his oversensitive walls.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **eroooosss, cutie, how long have I been here and you've never moaned my username when you came? </3

 **> >CandyMan:** It’s because Eros has class ;)

 **> >BigDickDaddy**: harsh, bro

 **> >OG-Dom:** This guy Aria gets a pass in my book. Eros being all obedient like this gets me all hot and bothered. Usually he's sassier, not that I complain either way heh.

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **How you feeling, Eros?

Yuuri had started catching his breath now. “Tired, a little. Thanks for asking, Stargirl.” He glanced down. His stomach was slathered in streams of white, his thighs were glistening, and he still had the dildo up his ass. His bedsheets were also wrinkled and messy. At least the view in the camera showed his hair was still slicked back, though it looked messier and a little debauched.

He ran his fingers through it, making sure it was still pushed back. He wondered if the Aria imposter was still watching, and if he felt like he'd gotten his money’s worth. Phichit set the camera up on its stand and headed out for clean, damp washcloths.

 **> >alphalite: **oi, eros. Seen tht new ep of AoT?

Yuuri smiled indulgently. “Oh, so just because I'm Japanese, you assume I watch anime?”

 **> >alphalite: **u fkn tld me u wtch it!

Yuuri laughed. “No, I haven't seen it yet. I've got a few things I need to do in a week and a half, so I have to get my classes and work sorted out before then. It's part of why I've been busy.”

“Eros has secret business,” Phichit chirped, tossing rags at Yuuri to stay off camera. He fiddled with something in the background. Yuuri started to clean himself off.

Vibration sparked again, and Yuuri shuddered and moaned as the vibrator flashed to one of the middling levels right off the bat. “Ughh, no, please,” he gasped, as Phichit cackled in the background. “Fuck, ah, turn it off,” Yuuri groaned, frantically fumbling with the base of the toy.

“Call me by my proper username and I'll shut it off!” Phichit sang. Yuuri shook his head.

He could feel it buzzing insistently under his fingers as he wrenched at the toy's base, the vibrations demanding attention and arousal. Yuuri shuddered as he finally pulled it out, falling limp on the bed with a gasp.

“Oh, damn you,” Yuuri moaned. He could feel his entrance twitching, empty and stretched, gushing whatever slick was trapped inside. He was stirring in interest again already.

“Pooh,” Phichit swore. “I thought I'd have you this time. Come on, Eros, just once?”

Yuuri flipped him off. He grabbed a nearby pair of boxers and slipped them over his hips. There was a soft scratching at the door. Yuuri rolled his eyes.

“I'm sorry, ignore that. My puppy gets annoyed when someone is home and not petting him. I'd let him in, but I've made a bit of a mess.”

Like usual, Yuuri chatted for a while until the stickiness of his skin became unbearable and he felt so tired he couldn't keep his eyes open. He got a few more coins during this time, and only one request to watch him on the damned exercise ball.

“I'm going to call it a night,” Yuuri announced at last. “Tomorrow, I'll be at the gym. Tune in if you'd like to watch?” he offered.

 **> >CandyMan:** Gonna be naked this time, bby? ;)

 **> >Cherriboyhunter: **please say yes. I looovveedd watching that last time

“Not naked, it is a public gym, but…” Yuuri paused. Phichit was flashing him a thumbs up and a nod. Yuuri was already feeling a wash of regret. “I could be… persuaded to wear something special, besides my usual outfit.” Which was a loose fitting t-shirt and baggy shorts, and wasn't exactly appealing to look at.

**> BittyBetaBoy has sent 300 coins **

**> Cherriboyhunter has sent 600 coins**

**> CandyMan has sent 1000 coins**

**> BigDickDaddy has sent 1450 coins**

**> alphalite has sent 400 coins **

**> OG-Dom has sent 1100 coins**

Yuuri blinked at the screen. More users continued to send coins.

“The people have spoken, Eros,” Phichit said. “And the people want booty shorts. Right?”

A flood of yeses washed over the screen. Yuuri flushed. “I didn't- I- Oh, fine,” he stammered, glowering at Phichit now. They would have words later.

Yuuri bid everyone a good night, and they could finally start closing everything down. He stretched off the bed with a yawn. hichit busied himself with the camera while Yuuri stripped his sheets off and went to work replacing them with a clean set. He wasn't sleeping in his own mess.

“Sooo,” Phichit said. “You looked pretty into things tonight.”

Yuuri flushed. “I always get into it,” he stammered. It was about the only way he could get off. Without the feeling of being watched, release was an impossible dream. For someone as anxiety-ridden as Yuuri, it was an interesting situation. Yuuri liked being watched. But he didn't like attention. But he hated when people looked away.

This was the closest compromise he had found, and even then, it was only safe behind proxies, a few region blocks, and the knowledge that Yuuri was fairly accomplished at Clark Kent-ing his way out of recognition.

“That's not what I meant,” Phichit said, looking coy and pleased, like a cat with the canary. “You and Aria, huh?”

“It wasn't even the real Aria,” Yuuri coughed, trying to hide just how red his cheeks were getting. “An imposter, probably. No way the real Aria would want to watch me.”

Phichit hummed. “Oh really. And why is that?”

“He- he-” Yuuri stammered. Wasn't it obvious enough without him explaining it? “He's in another league. He's practically a legend. Plus, I'm sure he's busy. He's got that thing in a week, you know.”

Phichit just looked intrigued. “Ooh, really, Yuuri? What thing would that be? Could it possibly be his annual rut extravaganza?”

Once a year, as he had for the last 5 years, Aria live streamed his rut.

24 hours of continual sex/creative masturbation, as well as the occasional guest: frequently his alpha friend and fellow cam boy JackOffMetti, but also many other beautiful people over the last five years he'd been doing it. He was always trying to find new surprises for his show, and Yuuri watched a good portion of it every year feeling a mix of guilty and extremely aroused.

If anyone knew how to take advantage of their own biology, it would be Aria.

“Shut up. You know as well as I do,” Yuuri muttered.

“I do, I do,” Phichit agreed. “I also know, my dear friend, that your heat will be about the same time. And that you were considering making something of it for your show. And we are flush right now on funds, meaning money isn't an issue. So I had a little idea…”

Yuuri paused, glancing up with the clean blankets half tucked into his bed. There was fear in his eyes. “Phichit. What did you do.”

Phichit sat at his laptop, pulling up InnocentEros’s Instagram. Things were mostly PG-13, tasteful and classy, and Yuuri avoided the page like the plague. Phichit ran it, and Yuuri was always baffled when Phichit updated him how many subscribers he had. Then Phichit opened up a DM log.

“Oh fuck,” Yuuri breathed. “You didn't…”

Phichit had contacted AriaAlpha. He had sent the man a goddamned DM.

“ _Hey there! This is Eros’s mod, MemeLord. I heard from JackOffMetti you were looking for something different for your show this year. Maybe he's mentioned me? I've got an idea. It's kind of crazy, but Metti said crazy is good. Text me at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you're interested._ ”

“How do you know JackOffMetti?” Yuuri hissed, clutching his chest in horror.

“ _That's_ what you're fixated on? Not the fact that I gave him the number to the Eros hotline?” He meant the burner phone they used for Eros-related business.

Yuuri couldn't breathe. “Well obviously he didn't text you.”

Phichit waved the cheap burner at Yuuri. “He did. JackOffMetti and I are like this.” He crossed his fingers to show how ‘close’ they apparently were. “And I'm going to text Aria now.”

“Phichit no-” Yuuri gasped. He looked at his friend’s grin, the pieces starting to click. “You didn't- There's no way he'd want to watch me-”

Phichit started typing. Yuuri lunged for the phone, screeching, but Phichit must have been expecting it, because he was on his feet in an instant, bouncing back a few steps until he was out of reach, then bolted for the door. Yuuri chased after, slamming his shoulder against the doorway by accident. Phichit hopped out of the room. He slammed the door to his own room shut behind him.

Yuuri pounded the door with his fists, for all the good it served. It was shut tight and locked, and Phichit had the burner with, apparently, Aria’s number.

Yuuri’s blood ran cold. The Aria Imposter. It couldn’t be. “Wait. Phichit. Hold on-”

“I'm doing you a favor!” Phichit yelled. “Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop.”

“I don't want this!” Yuuri screamed.

It was quiet for a moment. The door cracked open. Yuuri stepped inside. The room was decked out in posters, pictures, and strewn with hamster memorabilia, and there was a very large hamster cage on the desk. One hamster was running on the wheel while the other two were eating.

Phichit looked a little ashamed.

“I can't do this,” Yuuri said, his heart breaking even as he stood there. “I don't want to get my hopes up. He's not going to want me, Phichit. Especially not for my goddamned _heat_. I would ruin his entire show. And anyway, he's 2,000 miles away. Don't be ridiculous-”

The phone chirped. Phichit’s darted down to it, then back to Yuuri’s face. He grimaced.

“You texted him already, didn't you?” Yuuri groaned, burying his face in his hands as Phichit checked the message. “I don't want to know. Don't even tell me what he said. I don't want to know about how bad an idea he thinks this is-”

“He's in.”

“Or how he doesn't want-” Yuuri broke off. “What?”

Phichit cracked a smile. “Yuuri, read this.”

Yuuri’s hands shook as he looked at the phone. He scrolled to the top of the correspondence.

 **Received** : Metti wants to know if this is Peaches??

 **Sent** : Tell him I go by MemeLord now, but yeah, I was Peaches, and before that I was SuperHam.

 **Received** : He knows you! Wow!! Hi there! You had an idea for the show? Crazy is definitely good.

 **Sent** : so, I know this is super forward, but I’m gonna come out and say it. So, my friend, the one on the insta I messaged you with?

 **Sent** : he's super cute, right? Totally sexy omega?

 **Sent** : his heat’s in a week

 **Sent** : what if he was on your show?

 **Sent** : I'm admin of his page, and I'm mod of his streams, and I think it would be a great fit

 **Received** : Hmm. Gimme a minute.

 **Received** : ok, he's v cute, but is he interested?? Like, he wouldn't mind doing it, would he?

 **Received** : I've never had an omega on my show before

 **Received** : esp not one in heat

 **Received** : I'd definitely have to be careful with him

 **Sent** : He's def. interested. And you're prob not gonna break him. Trust me. Watch his stream tonight. It’s at 7 (pt). You don't have to decide now or anything

 **Sent** : I can send med info over email if you want it

 **Received** : Metti says I should. What’s your opinion?

 **Sent** : dude I'm super biased. My boy Eros is the best. Just watch him. If you don't like what you see, we can drop the whole thing, no questions asked. But seriously. How can you say no to that face?

 **Received** : It is hard to say no. I'll watch his stream tonight.

 **Sent** : sounds good

There was a time gap between the previous messages and the next cluster, spanning a few hours before the show, and then the show itself.

 **Sent** : hahahaha holy shit

 **Sent** : you didn't have to send him all those coins. A yes would have gotten the message across

 **Received:** oh my god. I'm in love. Let me have this boy on my show. Please, memelord

 **Received** : Such Eros!!! Tell him I'm sorry I was hard on him!! And stole the show! I just wanted to see what he'd do

Another message popped up as Yuuri was reading.

 **Received** : I will fly you here, don't worry about the cost. Both you and Eros. Please tell me he’ll do it. We can work out the details whenever you've got time.

Yuuri’s hands were shaking as Phichit plucked the phone from his fingers. “You said it yourself,” Phichit said. “You wanted to do something different for your heat.”

“I- I didn't mean this,” Yuuri gasped. At his feet, his little poodle ran circles around his ankles, pawing at his calves. He hastily scooped the toy poodle into his arms. “Phichit, this is… I don't even know what this is.”

“Amazing, is what it is. Face it, you were thinking about livestreaming your heat anyway. Who in their right mind wouldn't want to watch two of the most gorgeous cam boys on the web going at it in a mess of primal instinct and passion? Shit’s going to be crazy.”

“I am _not_ one of the most gorgeous cam boys. I don't even rank-”

Phichit clapped a hand over his mouth. “If you finish that, I'm telling Aria you're in. And _you're_ going to have to tell him you don't want to.” Yuuri glared, but when Phichit pulled his hand away, Yuuri’s mouth was clamped shut. “Okay? Just think about it.”

“I don't get it, is all. What does he even see in me?” Yuuri groaned.

Phichit held out his hand to count on his fingers. “First, you're beautiful. Don't argue, how many subscribers tell you that every single day? Second, you've got lots of subscribers. This is publicity for you as much as it is for Aria. Exposure is good. And people are going to be talking about this for years.”

“There's tons of heat porn on the market. This isn't that special.”

Phichit shook his head. “Nuh uh. You and I both know you've thought this through a thousand times. Why else would you consider it? But I'll humor you. Two reasons. It's you, which makes it better, and it's interactive, so people are going to like it. Three reasons, actually. Because we’re gonna make a spectacle of it. Imagine, Yuuri, all those eyes on you. Doesn't it make you feel sexy and powerful?”

Yuuri flushed.

“The third thing he sees in you is probably the fact that you're super awesome to be with. Seriously, Yuuri, do you think all those people hang out with you for like 3 hours after you've jerked off because they like it when you have cum in your hair? Nah, man. They're talking to you. They like you.”

“I'm pretty sure more than half only stay because they've never met a male omega in person,” Yuuri scoffed.

“Fuck those guys,” Phichit said. “Come on, Yuuri, tell me right now, to my face, that you don't want Aria during your heat, and I'll let you off the hook. I'll tell him you can't make it. Done deal. But you have to look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't enjoy thinking about having Aria all to yourself earlier.”

The moment dragged on, long and quiet, uncomfortable. Vicchan wriggled impatiently in Yuuri’s arms, wanting to be petted. Yuuri obliged, scruffing his puppy behind the ears, looking down in shame.

“You could give it a chance. What's the worst that could happen?” Phichit said.

“I make a fool of myself in front of all of Aria’s fans? Turn myself into a laughing stock? Reveal my real identity to the world?” Yuuri suggested. The list went on and on. He could rattle them off for days. Be called a slut? Because he hadn't forgotten jizzjazz and his cutting words, and regardless of how this turned out, as soon as he was finished freaking out over _Aria_ of all things, he was probably going to lose it over that next.

“Or maybe you have the best sex of your life, make a lot of money, and you get to totally hang out with Aria, and probably get the best insider information ever?” Phichit offered back. His eyebrow quirked up, and he smiled. “Aaaannndd... You get to ride the real Aria?”

Yuuri sighed, trying desperately to ignore how painfully easily those words could sway him. “Supposing I did this…”

“Yay!” Phichit cheered, his hands pitching up into the air.

Yuuri glared. “ _Supposing_ that I went through with it… How crazy do we have to be? He lives in LA. That's 2000 miles away, Phichit.”

“He offered to fly us,” Phichit said. He held the phone up, flashing the screen. “Fucking extra bastard, I love him already. There is literally nothing you can say that I don't have an answer for. I know you, Yuuri, and I know how you think and worry. I had all day to think up answers, so hit me."

“I have viewers who would be mad. I know... um. Didn't CandyMan say he was in California? He won't be able to watch. And he gives so much money to the stream, it's not fair. And Aria's not dumb enough to leave off a region block on his account.” Yuuri said. Region blocks made things safe. They made it so people nearby wouldn't recognize you. Yuuri absolutely had one, and had set it up for the entire state of Michigan, a few outlying regions around it as a buffer zone to throw off anyone trying to pinpoint his location, and Kyushu. No way was his family seeing this.

Phichit hummed. “Um, Yuuri, proxies. According to the internet, your google searches are coming out of Colorado. I'm sure he's got them too, or maybe he just flat doesn't have them. Everyone knows where he lives anyway.”

Yuuri stress-petted Vicchan. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “I'm considering this. How crazy am I? I’m crazy. I must be.”

“Not at all!” Phichit said. He patted Yuuri on the back. Legs shaky, Yuuri sank onto the edge of Phichit’s bed.

Yuuri rubbed his scent gland anxiously. It was itching, the way it always did when his heat drew close. Not an itch like anywhere else, but something a little deeper under the skin, a sensation that couldn't be scratched. There wasn't much time before his heat started, he could tell.

He was already on birth control for the debilitating cramps he occasionally got otherwise, and he was tested a month ago. He hadn't had any partners since then. Even then, it had just been Phichit, who had oh so kindly helped him through his last heat. He was already preparing for spring break anyway. The circumstances couldn't really be better…

Yuuri shivered. “Holy shit,” he whispered. “Aria wants me at his rut.” He was going to have sex with Aria. Aria wanted _Eros_ on his show.

“I'll work out the details tomorrow. For now, you look exhausted. Get some sleep, Yuuri.”

Yuuri laughed awkwardly. “You say that like I'm going to sleep at all tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I D O N ‘ T K N O W W H A T I ‘ M D O I N G B U T I S U R E D O L I K E I T . 
> 
> There's a subtle Redline reference in there. If you liked the art style for the banquet scene, you might like the art style for Redline. They're not the same, but Yamamoto did work on both, and you can see an influence :D Visually stunning, either way. 
> 
> Lemme know if you hated the viewers, or if there were any you liked and would like to see more of. If people don't like them, I can tone back how much impact they have. Also, if you've got kinks, lemme know. Eros is always accepting suggestions from his viewers, and I'm accepting suggestions from readers ;)


	2. AlphaAria's Future Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri deals with his stress however he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you! This entire story is literally just me trying to be funny and sexy at the same time and I just??? I can't believe it! Thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos and just- Seriously, thank you. I am shocked beyond belief by all the feedback. I'm glad you guys liked it!!
> 
> There's not a whole lot in the way of sex or camming in this chapter, but next chapter. Ooooh boy. I got plans. You might need a cold shower. 
> 
> Oh. Also. I changed like 6 sentences in the previous chapter. The essence of the change is that it makes this story take place right before Yuuri’s spring break, and Victor lives in LA and everyone knows, because of course he doesn't give a damn if people know he's a porn star, as long as he's the best. That's all. Enjoy!

 

“I don't know what I'm going to do, Chris,” Victor sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. It was midway through Saturday morning, and Christophe Giacometti was already drunk. Victor was too, but that was incidental. Chris had started early, and Victor was feeling stressed.

“Just do what you always do. Wing it, buy some new toy, invite someone pretty, or just jack off in your hand. People will watch whatever. They'd watch you paint a wall. Fuck. Why haven't we done that yet?” Chris’s eyes were unfocused. He took another long drink of cheap ass wine. They had better somewhere in the condo, but Chris liked the five buck bottle of locally made overly grape-y bullshit when he was buzzing, for some reason.

Victor groaned. “I need something different, Chris. Marathon sex might have been enough for some people a few years ago, but the novelty is wearing out. No one wants to see an alpha dick around on camera for a whole 24 hours.”

“Two alphas,” Chris suggested. “I'll drop my suppressants early. Done and done.”

“That was two years ago. Last year we had three. More alphas isn't the answer,” Victor said. He flopped onto the couch. He was dizzy. Why were they drinking?

Some accomplishment of Chris’s. That was it. JackOffMetti hit some sort of self-imposed milestone, and they were celebrating by themselves at 10 AM on a Saturday with shitty wine and a cracker tray that had been in the fridge. They'd started with the nice stuff, but once they passed the legal limit to drive, it was time to crack open the cheaper bottles. Keeping it classy.

Victor sighed and pulled up Instagram, stroking Makkachin behind the ears when she butted his hand with her head. His own page was decently popular, well-liked but not anything special. His other account, however…

Victor thumbed over to the account for Aria. 

That account was popular. It made Victor look like nothing, really. At first, people were interested in his dick. Then they wanted to watch him dance and surf and skate. Now they listened to him wax poetic about philosophy and animals. And they loved his poodle. As far as popularity went, the rankings were clearly Aria in first, followed by Makkachin, with Victor being a distant third. 

Victor read through his notifications, trying to ignore how Makkachin was doing her best impression of a lap dog. Would Pinterest have ideas? What if he did something with BDSM? That got people’s attention, right? Hadn't 50 shades been popular for some reason?

He deleted a few spammy messages without even reading them. Most of them were bots with usernames that were more similar to Chris’s than to Victor's. His thumb hovered over the delete button.

One of them had Chris’s name in it. He unselected the message and deleted the rest. Then he opened it. Oh. Not a bot.

“ _Hey there! This is Eros’s mod, MemeLord. I heard from JackOffMetti you were looking for something different for your show this year. Maybe he's mentioned me? I've got an idea. It's kind of crazy, but Metti said crazy is good. Text me at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you're interested.”_

Victor glanced over at Chris, who was making good progress on drinking himself to a celebratory stupor. He shook his shoulder.

“Chris, hey, Chris, you know anyone by the name of MemeLord?”

Chris blinked. “What are you talking about?”

Victor showed him the message. “He says he knows you.”

Chris stared at the screen for a long time. Then his eyes flashed. He snapped his fingers. “Ooooh, Eros, right! That's right. InnocentEros. Right right!! Hmm, I thought his mod was going by Peaches? Hey, Victor, ask him if that's Peaches.” Chris was grinning now.

Victor pursed his lips, but fired off a quick text.

 **Sent** : Metti wants to know if this is Peaches??

A reply came back almost instantly.

 **Received** : Tell him I go by MemeLord now, but yeah, I was Peaches, and before that I was SuperHam.

Victor glanced at Chris. “Does ‘SuperHam’ mean anything to you?”

Chris clapped. “Ahh, it is Peaches! Text him, text him. Listen to him, he's gold.” 

Victor replied, smiling a little now. If Chris knew them, they couldn't be bad. Or, they could be, but possibly the right kind of bad. And if it was an idea for the show... 

 **Sent** : He knows you! Wow!! Hi there! You had an idea for the show?  

A stream of messages popped up, one after the other. 

 **Received** : so, I know this is super forward, but I’m gonna come out and say it. So, my friend, the one on the insta I messaged you with?

 **Received** : he's super cute, right? Totally sexy omega?

 **Received** : his heat’s in a week

 **Received** : what if he was on your show?

 **Received** : I'm admin of his page, and I'm mod of his streams, and I think it would be a great fit.

Victor frowned again. That was bold.

 **Sent** : Hmm. Gimme a minute.

He was frequently propositioned. If anything, frequently was an understatement. But this was the first time in a little while someone propositioned him for a friend. And did it while name dropping Chris.

And omegas weren't exactly common to begin with, let alone male omegas… which would make this whole thing just a little more exotic, tinged in the rare and unique… Not that Victor was going to pick him solely for that. He wasn't a complete ass. And not just any omega would be good for his show.

Chris was leaning over his shoulder, reading the messages that appeared. His eyes were sparkling. “Ooooh, tell Peaches yes, this is a brilliant idea, Victor. You've never had an omega on before.”

All of his friends were Alphas. It was just a thing that happened. The only omegas he knew were all mated to friends, and Victor wasn't bringing someone mated onto his show. That was a catastrophe waiting to happen.

And an omega male…

Victor shook his head. “But for his heat? Does the guy even know what he's getting into?”

Chris rubbed his chin. “Knowing Peaches, the answer is ‘no’. He's the ‘ask forgiveness, not permission’ type. Eros probably doesn't even know Peaches is asking. But consider, Victor. Eros. On your show! Wouldn't it be great?”

“I've never even heard of him,” Victor said. “Is it just a publicity stunt or something?”

Chris shrugged. “He's got his own fans, and Peaches is really getting him good exposure lately. I don't think he needs help from you in that department. Oh shit, I wish I thought of this! Just look him up, Victor, Peaches is definitely onto something.”

Victor gave him a look.

Chris smiled. “Come oooon, Victor,” he purred, voice lilting drunkenly. “Just look at his cute little face. Peaches sends me drunk pics all the time. I watch his stream quite a bit. If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd take him myself. His pole dancing is mmm, divine.” Chris closed his eyes in drunken bliss.

There wasn't much choice. Victor found his way back to his DM’s, and from there found InnocentEros’s page.

The photos were nice, nothing over the top, but exuding a careless sensuality. They were seductive without effort, sexy without being raunchy. Tasteful. Eros was an attractive omega, eyes dark and lined with glitter, clothes just fitted enough to leave something to the imagination, but hint at a body that was muscular and well-used. Victor bit his lip. Eros was cute. Definitely attractive.

Hooded eyes fluttering shut, palming a clothed bulge. Licking his lips. Blowing a kiss. Victor’s heart beat a little quicker.

There was a link at the top.

Victor tapped it, and he found himself presented with a buffer page asking if he was 18+. His eyes flicked over to Chris in surprise, who reached over and tapped yes with an irritated sigh. The page refreshed.

They were on InnocentEros’s webpage now. The pictures, still tasteful, took a more wicked turn, sorted under a few different tabs. Some showed a beautiful Japanese man pictured from behind, bound in dark blue ropes that made gorgeous patterns along his skin, his head tilted toward the camera, his eyes unfocused and lost in bliss. Some with him dressed in lingerie, smiling and striking playful poses.

In others, the man posed seductively on a metal pole, holding himself in a complex position with ease, his butt hugged by the tightest booty shorts Victor had ever seen, letting just the slightest skim of his asscheeks hang out the bottom.

And then there was the last section, with Eros spitted on a thick dildo, head thrown back in ecstasy as he took it all, completely nude, vulnerable, but somehow powerful all the same. Victor might have clutched his chest

Chris wagged his eyebrows. “Soo? What did I tell you? Peaches was right, wasn't he?”

“Maybe,” Victor coughed. His eyes flicked back to a nicely looped gif of the Japanese beauty spinning on a pole. Eros was beautiful. Of that, there was no doubt. He had a strong following on Instagram, and when Victor hopped over to his stream, his subscriber count was nothing to sneeze at, either. And that was just regular subscribers, those who paid a monthly fee for access to the special chat that Eros would see, the ones who could suggest to him things they wanted from him.

The unsubscribed members had a chat of their own, it seemed, one that ran unmoderated for the most part, and seemed a little more free with its topics. There were fewer rules, and Eros would not see this one. The stream was off at the moment, but a countdown timer showed there were only a few hours until the next show.

Victor tapped back to the Instagram page, letting his gaze linger on Eros’s face, the beautiful unmarked neck, flawless and unbitten. The feeling was overwhelming.

The alpha inside of him wanted.

He buried it back. There were more pressing concerns. He couldn't just take without consideration. This wasn't the Middle Ages.

There were so many issues with this, things to worry about first. STD testing, meeting up, planning, dividing up the profits in a way that worked for both parties, and of course, this was all contingent on Eros actually wanting to have sex on camera with Aria in the first place. Because Victor scared people away. Frequently.

The prevailing theory was that bigger was always better. Not necessarily true, and Victor had a long string of disappointed lovers to show for it. Victor didn't mind switching things up, never minding taking and receiving in turn, but damn if he didn't want to just fuck someone every once in awhile. And during his rut, he would definitely be taking, again and again and again, if the alpha part of mind wrested control from him. Eros could get hurt.

He texted Peaches for a while, eventually settling for a compromise. He could at least hold off a decision until the stream. Peaches was oddly confident in this.

“It's because you fall in love the first time you watch,” Chris said. “You can't help it. No one can. Can't even smell him and you want him. I don't know how exactly Eros does it, but damn, he is such a professional. Late to the game, even, but definitely impressive.”

“What, you’re in love?” Victor teased. “You've never even met the guy.”

Chris just winked.

After the show, his hands were shaking as he called Chris. He'd just spent far, far too much money on Eros, and he didn't even regret it, not for one moment. Chris was laughing at someone else’s joke when he answered.

“Victor! Oh, hi! Tell me, what did you think of Eros?”

Victor looked down at his spent cock, the careless spill of excess lubricant, and his credit card on the table, all the evidence of his shame surrounding him like a damning conviction of the truth, of the 10,000 coins, the spur-of-the-moment subscription for access to the better chat, and a camboy screaming his username for the world to hear. Victor had just made the best kind of mistake.

“Chris, I'm in love. I need this man on my show,” Victor gasped.

“Tell Peaches, then. Get yourself that ass.” He sounded proud. The bastard.

“More than that, Chris! Oh my god. What do you think my chances are of convincing him to marry me?”

Chris just laughed. “Let's start with a date, buddy.”

* * *

Yuuri never really got the whole sex thing. He always felt like something in him was broken. It had been like that from the first time he'd thought about sex, and he still felt that way today.

But the first time he'd gone on camera, everything seemed right.

He'd been scared. God, he'd been terrified, a complete wreck. There were maybe six people total watching his stream, and only one of them gave him any coins, a measly pittance of 100 coins that felt more like an insult than anything else. But Yuuri had never felt so alive. Their eyes on him made him feel powerful and sexy and wanted. 

It was all thanks to Aria, really. Aria had been doing streams before Yuuri ever even presented. Back then, Aria had worn his hair long, a silver waterfall that spilled over his shoulders when he fucked his partners open. He was beautiful then, as beautiful as he was now.

Yuuri was 18 when he presented, 3 years late to the party, snappish and overheated in the days leading up. He nested a day before, and spent the entire next day fucking himself on his fingers and dreaming of Aria. It was the summer before he left for Detroit, and the temperature only made his heat worse. His family worried about sending him off to America, newly presented and an omega at that. First in the family in six generations.

But Yuuri assured them he'd be fine. He read up on it, bought all the scent-neutralizing soaps, scent-blocking patches, and whatever else he'd need to maintain a normal life, and carved himself a place studying in Detroit.

Phichit was probably the only reason he was still sane.

Yuuri’s freshman year roommate was the one who put two and two together during sophomore year. He was the one who connected Yuuri’s flourishing during the pole dancing classes they took as a joke, his fanaticism for Aria, and his embarrassing inability to masturbate when Phichit wasn't at home. He was the one who talked Yuuri into jerking off in a public restroom as a joke, and then was smug for weeks when it was the best goddamned orgasm Yuuri had in his life up to that point.

He was the one who bet a drunken Yuuri he couldn't jerk off on camera on one of those cam sites like Aria did, knowing a drunk Yuuri was a competitive Yuuri, and a competitive Yuuri was more than willing to slam his drink down, throw Phichit a fiercely suspicious side-eye, and ask how many times he needed to cum, too damn drunk to do it then and there.

All it took was a video confirmation of the bet, and the next Saturday Yuuri had free, Phichit reminded him of his promise. The follow through had been a bear, and Yuuri honestly didn't remember half of it because he might have slightly repressed the memories.

But a year later, here Yuuri was, a few loyal fans funding his rent and groceries, and Yuuri was even considering putting his heat up for all to see. The level of progress was astounding, and Yuuri wasn’t even so unsure about his heat anymore.

His heat was never a pleasant time. Usually he spent it writhing alone on his bed, too shy to actually talk to anyone about actually joining him. With Phichit, it had been easier. Less stressful emotionally and physically. It was almost enough for Phichit to just sit in the room, a reassuring presence, filling the air with the soft, muted pheromones of beta smell. He didn't even need to touch, really.

He had, because Phichit was only human and omegas were designed to smell intoxicating, even if betas were inherently better suited to resisting the primal urges of their nature. Yuuri had told him he could. But it was Phichit’s heavy gaze that got him off, not him bending Yuuri onto the bed and taking him with an appreciative grunt. It had almost been enough, almost been satisfying.

For an alpha to take him…

“Alright, distribution of profits now, right?” Phichit said. His phone was on speaker, and it was early enough in the morning that Yuuri still felt dead inside. Muffled, muted, a little bit colorless. His chest felt so tight.

Slut, whore, omega fuck hole. He sipped his tea and tried not to be sick in the kitchen sink. Was Yuuri a whore? Was getting money from this turning him into a slut? What if jizzjazz was right, and Yuuri was ruined, untouchable, undesirable-

“Hold on a sec,” Phichit said, muting the line immediately as soon as he saw Yuuri slouch inward. “Yuuri, hey, it's okay. You're not a slut. Alright? Last night, that guy was way out of line. And even if you were, which you aren't, there's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with you, and you deserve to be happy. Okay? You deserve happiness.”

Yuuri sucked in a rattling breath, and returned to his tea with a nod. “I deserve happiness,” he whispered, like he didn't quite believe it.

“You deserve happiness,” Phichit confirmed. “One or two people do not decide for the majority, no matter how loud they scream. And JizzJazz was wrong. What he said was unacceptable and he should have known that.”

“Don't worry about me. Aria is on the line, you should talk to him-”

“Forget him. You're more important right now,” Phichit said. On the line, Aria was calling out gentle ‘hello?’s, confused by the sudden interruption.

“I'll be fine, Phi,” Yuuri said. “Take Aria off mute.” Phichit’s lips formed a thin, doubting line. “Really. I just need a few minutes. I'll be fine. Business is a good distraction. I'm excited. I really am.” Phichit didn't move. Yuuri tapped the mute button. “Sorry, Aria.”

“Eros! You're there too?” Aria sounded thrilled suddenly.

“Eros isn't chatty in the mornings,” Phichit said. “If he just took coffee instead of tea like a normal human, maybe he'd wake up better.” This was more for Yuuri’s benefit than Aria’s, and Yuuri smiled a little for it.

“Tea has caffeine, too,” Yuuri said simply. “Profits.”

“Right, profits,” Aria said, clearing his throat. “Usually I give guests a percentage of the cuts, but that varies based on how much time they're on and how established they are.”

“Eros is nicely established, and he'll be advertising the venture on his end as well, so that should drive up viewership,” Phichit rattled off. “Let's talk numbers.”

He was a photography major, but you wouldn't know from his level of business savvy. He'd already hopped on to a business double major and was doing very well for himself, despite the extra course load added to the top.

Yuuri listened to them talk, hearing tone more than words. Aria’s voice was beautiful, even in speaking. He sounded so serious, and yet… Yuuri thought he almost sounded excited when he heard Eros. Yuuri smiled. He wanted something so badly, he was hearing things. Wasn't that just like him? Wanting Aria to want him.

The frown returned. Yuuri buried it in his mug so Phichit wouldn't notice and worry.

Phichit had made a list of things to cover, and it seemed Aria had one, too, if the quick way that they steamrolled through business was any indication. First, they had established that, yes, this was a thing that was going to happen, and Eros definitely wanted to do this, and Yuuri was kind of glad he'd been asleep when that happened, because he really didn't want to hear what Phichit had said to convince Aria to continue with the plan.

When Yuuri was up, he saw from Phichit's notebook that they had progressed through medical information, past experiences (limited for Eros, slightly less so for Aria), previous and current lovers (none current, both assured each other), and a quick discussion about their demographics and viewership. Yuuri was glad to have missed it.

Aria was thorough. Shockingly so. Yuuri hadn't left his room until they hit the financial section, and Phichit had already been on his phone for at least an hour. Yuuri knew. He could see the call time on the screen from here.

Aria and Phichit argued compensation briefly, but it was one Aria lost surprisingly quickly. Phichit steamrolled him into way too much, in Yuuri’s opinion, but Phichit had just glared, giving him the kind of look that read, ‘shhh, trust me on this’, and Yuuri comforted himself with the fact that he'd at the very least not be the first one to get tired. He'd get his time in.

After money, there was the next order of business. The event itself. Once the ball got rolling, so to speak, there wasn't a lot that either of the two could do. They'd be aware, partially. Driven by an intense, all-consuming lust for the nearest member of the opposite secondary gender, perhaps, but slightly aware.

Still, it was easier for the mods to have most of the power over the stream. Aria was boss on his shows, but he always stepped back and let his small team of mods take over during the rut event, and they would trade out in shifts to manage the masses of people who would inevitably turn out. Phichit would be in this rotation, and he demanded being allowed to confidentially speak with each of them about Eros’s specific requirements, if he wasn't going to be able to run the entire thing.

“Special requirements?” Aria asked. “Does he have crazy fans?”

“Something like that,” Phichit said. “It's probably not going to be a concern, but I would rather tackle the issue before it becomes a problem. I'm sure you understand.”

Aria hummed over the line, accepting gracefully. “Should be easy enough. We’ve got a pretty good setup, I can show you when you get here. Eros, still there?”

Yuuri made a small noise in the back of his throat, surprised to be called out.

“Oh, good!” Aria chirped. “I have to ask. You seemed pretty comfortable with that toy. Will you be able to keep up for a whole day with something that size or bigger?”

Yuuri hesitated. He still felt the ache in his body from taking the toy even for the short time he had. It was delicious and satisfying, but it was still a thing to consider. His head would change matters, though, and even if it didn't, Yuuri wanted. He closed his eyes, scruffing his hair back from his face. Eros. Eros.

“I can take more than that,” he purred, smirking. His cheeks flushed immediately. Oh god. What if that was too forward, or-

“G-good,” Aria choked, sounding a little breathless now. “That's… ah… that's good.”

Phichit was giving him thumbs up. Yuuri buried his face in his green tea, drinking until it was gone.

“Well. We can… ahem. Discuss that more when you get here. Speaking of! Getting here. I can understand if you need to maintain your privacy. I won't ask any questions about where you're from, if you don't want me knowing, but the offer still stands for me to fly you here. I know you're taking time out of your busy lives for this, and it's only fair. If I can make one request…?”

“What's that?” Phichit asked.

“Could you come down a few days early? I've been doing some reading on omegas, research really, and I want to give you time to acclimate, if you want it. I guess moving around a lot before a heat is stressful for some omegas, and I want to make sure that things go well.”

Yuuri's eyes widened a little. That was… oddly considerate.

“Hmm… extra nights in a hotel are costly…” Phichit said, tapping his chin, eyeing Yuuri. “Eros, how many days do you need to feel comfortable?”

“I could… probably manage with one or two.”

Phichit shook his head. “Nuh uh. You're usually nesting three days out. Gimme a real estimate.”

Yuuri sighed reluctantly. “Probably three or four minimum,” he admitted.

“Can we do five?” Aria asked. “And you don't need to stay in a hotel. My condo has extra rooms. I'll tell Metti to move his stuff out of one of the guest rooms, not like he needs it for anything other than personal storage. Proximity might make it easier to time our cycles.”

Yuuri looked at Phichit in a panic. “Eros is a little bit… ah… nervous around new people?” Phichit suggested.

“All the better, then,” Aria said brightly. “He could stay in a hotel if it would make him more comfortable, but I would like for him to feel at ease in my place when it's time for filming to begin. And extra time would give us a better chance to… get to know each other. I think it's important to know who it is you're sharing something so important with, especially if it's going to be seen live. And I hear Eros is insatiable. I would very much like to make a good impression on his followers and leave him satisfied.”

Yuuri could hear the mixture of smugness and excitement in Aria’s voice, the overwhelming brim of confidence. Even worse, he could almost see Aria’s face, his lips quirking up, his eyes so painfully, dizzyingly blue. No, leaving Eros satisfied was not going to be hard. Not if Aria was the one doing it.

Yuuri was at half mast already.

Phichit must have noticed the flush in his cheeks, because he grinned. “I think Eros looks excited. You sure you can pull it off? He's never been fully satisfied before. I was damned exhausted when I tried. Didn't even get a third of the way through.”

“Peach!” Yuuri groaned. “Don't tell him that.”

“The man deserves to know exactly what Herculean effort he's trying to do,” Phichit said. “And I'm not Peaches anymore, I'm MemeLord and deserve to be called such.”

“We aren't having this discussion right now,” Yuuri sighed.

“JackOffMetti still calls you Peaches. Should he stop?”

“Tell him he can call me whatever he likes,” Phichit said, grinning. Yuuri groaned and punched Phichit on the shoulder, pushing to his feet.

“I'm getting more tea,” he announced.

He brushed out of the room, done with this conversation. His problem made his walk slightly closer to a graceless waddle. He didn't want to shower before going to the gym, but if this didn't go away fast, he might consider it. Not that it was the first time an Aria-related boner had caused him problems.

The water in the kettle hadn't really cooled much in the last ten minutes, so it didn't take long to bring it back up to temperature. He grabbed a whale shaped tea infuser he'd gotten for his birthday and filled it with tea leaves. Then he picked up a container of leftover chicken and tossed it in the microwave. A small lunch before a workout should be fine.

He groaned. That was right. He was recording this one. And he had promised a change in wardrobe. He picked at his lunch as he dressed. Phichit was dangerous, capricious, but not malicious. Hard as it was to trust anyone, Phichit had proven himself time and time again. He could take care of the Aria matter. Listening any longer would just stress Yuuri out. He had to figure out what he was going to wear.

He had two wardrobes.

One was his, as Yuuri. Unassuming, mostly neutral colors. Greys, browns, some blues. It wasn't particularly exciting, or really flattering in any way. There were sweatpants from his chubby days, when he'd spiraled for a few months and put on all that weight and subsequently had to work it all off over the next year. His thighs and butt were still thicker than his days of teenager-dom, but after presenting, everything went straight to his hips anymore, and staying his current moderately skinny size was agonizing. It was good to keep the poorly fitted clothes, in case he slipped again.

He wore it because it was comfortable. Because people looked over him, and he blended into a sea of other poorly dressed college students. Yuuri clothes were everyday clothes.

His other wardrobe was for Eros.

As his popularity built, and as ends started meeting easier and easier, funds freeing up, he found he had a bit of extra cash. Phichit demanded he reinvest in his image. That's when Eros got a complete image overhaul, modeled after drunk Yuuri. A few nights at a local club with a video camera, and they had a good point of reference. Someone bold, brave, and not a ball of anxiety and nerves.

Phichit designed the image after that. They already slicked his hair back, removing his glasses to make him look different. After that, it was just a matter of dressing him to suit his figure, selecting bold reds, sharp blacks, bright blues. Things that made him pop. Stand out. A flash in the dark, beautiful and eye catching like the flickering flame of a struck match.

Eros clothes were sexy. Impractical, but sexy. Yuuri thumbed around until he found a pair of brightly colored running shorts that were probably from the women’s department, they were so short, and a pair of leggings to keep his thighs from chafing when he ran. Because the shorts were too short to cover them. And they would rub.

He grimaced and changed.

Then he pulled on a short, loose tank top with a neck that was just outside of indecent, fluttery and flowing enough to reveal hints of his skin when he raised his arms or moved, well, at all.

He pulled a sweatshirt over the top, and sweatpants on over the shorts. He was not walking the streets as Eros. No fucking way. He grabbed his gym bag and headed for the kitchen to top off his tea.

Phichit was still on speaker phone. “-fucking fate, I swear, it's like the universe wanted this to happen!” he flailed.

“Peaches, you are a godsend. A hero among men. How soon can you clear up your classes and fly out? You have to spend the week up here at least. I insist,” Aria was saying.

“I'll talk to Eros about it. Most of my classes are online so I'm clear whenever. Are there dance studios over there? You and Eros also need to collab leading up. Advertising, you know?”

“What am I doing now?” Yuuri asked.

“Oooooh, my god, you're never going to believe this,” Phichit gasped. “JackOffMetti wants to pole dance with you before your heat, and goddamned DJBek of all people is hosting a giant livestream rave thing on Saturday and all of Grand Prix is going to be there, and now, so are you, my friend!”

Yuuri froze in the doorway. “What?”

Grand Prix was the collective name for a large cluster of Victor’s cam friends. Some were big names on YouTube, others making breaks into fashion and other industries. They were all big names, beautiful, popular, and loved. As part of Aria’s show, he toured nightlife and hung out with others like him. People who were charismatic and likable, the kind of people the camera loved. The Grand Prix were all that and more.

“You heard me. We’re touring LA, and we’re going to have the best spring break ever, with your heat smack dab in the middle of it.”

“This is exciting!” Aria laughed. “JackOffMetti is going to be thrilled to meet you both. I'll email over those contracts if you want to sign them and send them back. Standard confidentiality info. I won't read your real names if you don't want me to.”

“Thanks, Aria,” Phichit said. “You're amazing. Can't wait!”

Yuuri’s mouth hung open. Phichit said his last goodbyes, hanging up with a grin.

“What. What did I miss? How did you guys end up best friends all of a sudden?” Yuuri sputtered. “How are we going to a DJBek party? Phichit!”

“Aria’s like, the gatekeeper to the big leagues. What he says goes, and since we’re doing him a favor, he's making sure we have the best damn trip of our lives.”

“Why?” Yuuri hissed. He was freaking out. “Phi- Phichit, this is crazy-”

“Yuuri,” Phichit said, putting his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders. “I know you're freaking out. But listen to me. This is how it is. Aria wants you for his rut, and he's going to do everything in his power to make it the best show in the history of secondary genders. And with you there, it's gonna be sexy as hell, and you just need to trust that I know what I'm doing.”

“It's so much,” Yuuri gasped.

“I know,” Phichit said. “But you're not facing it as Yuuri, okay? So it'll be fine. You'll be Eros.”

Yuuri took a long breath. His eyes were still a little unseeing, and he felt frazzled, but he nodded slowly. “I'm Eros. I am Eros. I can do this. Eros doesn't get scared.”

“Right. Eros doesn't get scared. Also, I think Eros is running late for the gym.”

“Shit,” Yuuri gasped. “Ok, I'm dressed. You ready to go?”

“Gimme five minutes to grab my supplies. You're going like that?” He raised an eyebrow.

Yuuri lifted the sweatshirt to show the tank top underneath. “Don't worry, I didn't forget,” he sighed. “Let's get this over with.”

Yuuri and Phichit walked into the gym looking as nondescript as two normal college students could. With his glasses and with his hair messy and in his face, shoulders slouched a little to make him look even smaller than normal, it was impossible to recognize him for the image he presented online. No one looked twice as he headed for the bathroom, tucking the sweats into his bag, slicking back his hair with a scoop of gel, and swapped his glasses for contacts.

He stepped out with his shoulders squared and back, head held high, strutting like the gym was a runway. For Eros, it was.

Phichit had already set up the camera, catching him as he popped into an open space of gym and started to stretch. His laptop and wifi hotspot was off to the side.

This was usually more laid back than anything else Yuuri did. If someone said anything important in the chat, Phichit would read it out, but usually, this was just an excuse for people to watch him get sweaty. Which they liked, for some reason. Nasty people.

A few people at the gym stared as Yuuri started to stretch out his muscles, clearly wondering why he was filming himself. Yuuri closed his eyes. He wasn't Yuuri. He was Eros. Eros was going to work out in this gym in Detroit because he felt like it, because Eros didn't ever second guess decisions, triple and quadruple guess his mistakes and errors. Eros was comfortable in his own skin.

Eros was going to LA.

A sudden panic rose up inside him, startling him off balance. He shook out his head. Eros. He could do this. Forget LA. Focus on now. He raked his fingers through his hair, feeling the nails drag along his scalp, sharp and satisfying. He threw a smolder at the camera. Time for a workout.

He rolled his body in the suggestion of sex, subtle but visible to those watching for it, and lifted one foot. In a fluid motion, he grasped his ankle, lifting it behind him and leaning forward. Higher, higher, until he felt the burn in his thighs from the stretch. He rolled back to two feet and repeated the motion on the other leg, displaying balance and flexibility in a subtle show.

He warmed up his muscles in a few yoga poses, showing off now. This was a performance, as much as anything else. He knew exactly how he looked. A little jolt in his movements, a little resistance in his spine where the twinges of pain flickered, a reminder of last night. He rubbed his spine for his viewers' benefit, just so they could see the reminder of the thick toy they had bought between them. There were patches on his neck, but this close to his heat, he wasn't take a chance with leaving them off. 

When he was finished with his stretches, he headed to the treadmill, popping in a pair of wireless earbuds. They were connected to Phichit’s laptop, and Phichit hit him with one of his favorite running playlists as he powered it up. The stream would, of course, be broadcasting the same music, for the benefit of the viewers.

Luckily, once he started, it was easy to lose himself to the run. Every now and again, Phichit would call out ‘faster!’ and Yuuri would bump the speed up. Or he'd feel close to dying, needing air, and Phichit would call, ‘slow’ and Yuuri could slow, chest heaving, catching his breath. But beyond that, it was so easy to fall into Eros, forget his stresses, glory in the rush of endorphins from the workout. His head bobbed with the music, lips shaping silent words. He ran until he couldn't anymore. 

It always made him feel so much better when he was finished.

* * *

Surviving the week was the hardest part. 

Phichit tried to minimize the amount of attention Yuuri could devote to worrying about it, but even so, Yuuri was left a big stress ball of nervous tension. It didn't help that Aria kept _fucking texting and calling,_ ratcheting up Yuuri’s stress each time.

Yuuri was so keyed up, he could barely hold himself back the next time he jerked off. As soon as he felt the weight of his loyal viewers eyes on him, he set a furious, desperate pace, cumming twice before he fell back, taking the first deep breath in three days. It turned out Yuuri didn't shut the door as well as he thought, because Vicchan snuck inside almost as soon as he'd cleaned up and slid a pair of briefs on.

Yuuri was going to shut him back outside the room, but then his viewers excitedly babbled about how cute they thought Vicchan was, so Yuuri shifted the sheets so he was sitting in a clean space and pulled the now very happy toy poodle into his lap.

“He's been on a few times, I think, but if you haven't met him yet, this darling boy is Vicchan,” Yuuri said, smiling as the poodle licked his cheek. The last of the stress melted away.

“Eros, the puppy totally ruins your sexy image,” Phichit groaned.

Yuuri cuddled Vicchan closer. “Shh, it's okay, Vicchan. Mean old mod isn't going to make you leave. He just thinks his hamsters are better than you, and he's so wrong.”

“I can hear you, Eros,” Phichit reminded him. Yuuri smiled impishly.

“You were meant to."

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **omfg that puppy deserves a treat

 **> >Stargirlxxx**: like bacon

 **> >alphalite: **dn’t b fkn stpd, bcn is bad 4 dgs

“Vicchan is already spoiled,” Phichit groaned. “He would be fat if Eros didn't take him on so many walks. His little legs make it so hard for him to keep up, so he stays a normal size.”

“Harsh, Peaches,” Yuuri said. He cooed at Vicchan. “He's so harsh, isn't he? But you're not spoiled at all, are you? You're a good boy. That's right. Who’s a good boy?”

Vicchan _lost it_ , spinning circles in Yuuri’s lap. Yuuri lion king lifted him into the air, and then cuddled him to his bare chest.

“So, what did you guys want to talk about tonight?” 

The burner rang as soon as the show ended. Phichit excused himself from closing down the set to answer it, and Yuuri shook his head, baffled.

Six times in four days. That's how many times Aria had called. At first, Yuuri had been anxiously desperate to know what was so important he needed to call right then and there, whatever was so important he couldn't just text, but it turned out, it often wasn't important at all.

It did things to Yuuri, it really did.

His stomach twisted into knots every time, thinking this would be the day Aria called to cancel, to announce that he came to his senses and didn't want to pay for their _first class flight_ Friday morning _,_ because he apparently insisted on it. That Aria had found a better move than to take on some amateur cam boy just because he was a male omega.

And then every time, Yuuri would find that Aria was just asking another question about something that he apparently didn't feel like texting to ask, something small like asking after their favorite foods, or if they'd ever been to California before. This time, it was to ask if they were bringing Vicchan along. Because apparently Makkachin wanted a friend.

Yuuri wanted to cry. Aria was being so damned kind, and he had absolutely no reason to. He texted with Yuuri about stupid things that weren't even related to ruts or heats, like that debate they had on Tuesday about the best style of dance. It had kept Yuuri up way past any reasonable hour. Aria wanted to know everything, from stories about school to Vicchan.

That was another thing. He was willing to add on the costs of flying Vicchan with them, saying that they were college students, and no college student needed to be paying for a flight. It was confusing. He even asked if Yuuri needed anything to feel more at home before his heat, as if there was anything in the world that Yuuri was going to need more than Aria inside of him. Fuck. Yuuri didn't deserve any of this.

In class, he was distracted during lectures. He found himself doodling dicks in the margins of his notes in some kind of Freudian expression of his muddling mind. He was a week out from his heat, and he could feel the creeping itch like a tangible thing. It wouldn't outwardly affect him for another few days, at least, but he was already feeling a little more stirred up than usual. It was a mental state as much as a hormonal one, and the leadup always messed with his mind.

It didn't help that everyone around him was eagerly discussing spring break plans under their breath, and all this talk of beaches was putting Yuuri’s mind on the thought of Aria in trunks and walking down a sun kissed beach, the way he was in his current profile picture.

Yuuri was on his computer almost as soon as he was back from class. Aria was steaming already.

Watching Aria’s videos was an exercise in frustration. It was exciting enough to make him hard, even when Aria wasn't jacking himself off in his beautiful bedroom. Just watching him move across the ice was enchanting enough. That, and the pants he wore were tight enough to show off the long line of Aria’s length tucked away. Yuuri sucked in a breath as Aria pulled off a double, wavering a little on the landing.

It was incredibly impressive for someone who didn't have much time to devote to the hobby. But Aria was beautiful without trying.

So now Yuuri was aroused, his pants were tented and tight, he could feel the slick seeping through his briefs, and there was nothing he could do. Because he was alone. Because going outside of his room smelling like this would be like asking for trouble. He could smell the want on himself and he wasn't even trying.

Yuuri closed his eyes, letting Aria’s lilting voice wash over him. It was colored in the lightest accent, Russian probably, or something Slavic. He was so reserved on his videos. So composed. And yet, on the phone, he sounded as eager as a child.

Tomorrow morning, Yuuri would be on a plane to LA to see Aria in person. How crazy was his life? How impossible?

Yuuri still had a show planned for Saturday, before he'd anticipated flying across the country, and it was a little late to cancel. Would he have to film in Aria’s condo? The thought sent new shivers down his spine. Jerking off in Aria’s condo opened up a world of dirty thoughts that Yuuri wasn't sure he was allowed to pursue. But Eros would. Ooh, Eros would. Eros would want it hard and dirty, over any available surface.

His viewers would notice a change in venue. Yuuri hadn't told anyone yet about the plans. Aria and Eros had agreed on this, and were waiting until Yuuri finally arrived, making last minute confirmations, checking and rechecking everything over to ensure it was ready.

What would Aria smell like? Alpha, obviously, but what else? Did he use scent blockers? What if he didn't like how Yuuri smelled? Oh god, what if they couldn't stand each other? How was Yuuri going to put up with a whole fucking week in LA and not even know his host?

Yuuri started to panic. No, no, he was Eros. Eros didn't panic. Eros was happy to go with this ridiculous plan of Phichit’s, because that's what friends did. Eros was going to have the best sex of his life and get all that good exposure and…

And this was goddamned amateur hour.

Yuuri groaned, pulling his hand off his weeping cock. This wasn't working. Thinking about Aria was making this worse, not better. Yuuri stalked to the shower, setting the temperature for savagely cold.

He still had to pack. Fuck, he couldn't do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Yuuri flies to LA and meets the whole gang. Also, camming.
> 
> Thanks for the kinks, loves! Some were already accounted for, but others gave me some great ideas heheheh. Yuuri’s going to have a fun week.
> 
> I have done way more research into this than I care to admit to. Here’s some info that might be relevant for some of you. 
> 
> I've made up my own camming site that’s loosely based on a combo of real cam sites and Twitch because I'm a terrible human being.
> 
> Different sites have different values for exchanges and tips. Most cam sites will sell tokens/coins/intermediary currency in bundles for tips, which end up varying in price from about $8-12 usd for bundles of 100. Thereabouts. 100 coins can be redeemed usually for like 5 bucks. The rest of that money goes to the site, because it's a business and of course they're taking half. I don't actually know how much individual tips usually are, but cam models can make anywhere from 10 bucks to thousands in a night, depending on their popularity, so I just sort of guessed?? I also didn't know exchange values first chapter, so the fact that it worked as well as it did was nice.
> 
> Successful cam models also seem to diversify away from just stripping on camera, so dancing, working out (naked or otherwise), or just talking are all popular things that you see. Maybe it is people going out in certain clothes, or singing something. It all happens. So I like to imagine people get curious about Yuuri’s life and want to insert themselves into it because that's what creepy internet people do. Yuuri hesitated because of privacy, which makes them all the more excited when he does.


	3. Bad Party Etiquette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri arrives in Studio City, Los Angeles. He makes some questionable decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Some spicy Katsudon, but not as spicy as I hoped. Trickery leading to drunkenness. Written under the influence of electroswing. Continue at your own risk.
> 
> I aged up Yurio a little, because it makes things immensely easier. Sorry, everyone who likes 15yo Yurio. He's still feisty and smol. Just slightly less young.
> 
> This got away from me. Why is it so long. Why can't I stop writing. I have a problem. Send help. Or don't. Ngl, as long as you compliment me, I'm probably going to keep going xD Thanks so much for your comments. They are literally driving this fic's ridiculous update pace right now. Adding a porn with feelings tag, because reasons.

 

Yuuri tried not to think too hard about the destination as the car pulled to a stop. 

“Thanks for watching my hamsters and driving us, Guang-Hong,” Phichit said. “We owe you one. No, two. Eh, better make it three.”

The Chinese boy smiled sweetly. “It's nothing. Have fun in California.”

“We’ll bring you something back,” Yuuri promised, scratching Vicchan behind the ears through the bars of his kennel. 

Guang-Hong was one of Phichit’s friends. Not only was he one of the few with both a car and a license, he was also the least likely to pry about why they were making a spur of the moment trip to Cali a day before Spring Break started, when most people still had classes. He also didn't have class till noon, and he was staying in town all week, which made him an even better pick. 

Yuuri lugged his suitcases out of the trunk and then helped Phichit with his own. They had shipped the camera equipment ahead, overnighting it to an address Aria had given them after packing it in more bubble wrap than was probably necessary. That just left Vicchan kenneled at Yuuri’s side, and their clothes, of which Phichit had pointedly packed for both of them.

Phichit said he had included a larger proportion of Eros clothes than Yuuri clothes. And it made sense. Eros was in Cali. Yuuri was… well, who cared? He could have stayed in Detroit for all anyone would have noticed. Still, Yuuri wished he'd at least had the chance to see what Phichit had picked for him. 

Flying was always an unpleasant adventure, and at a measly 5 hour flight, Yuuri couldn't even justify knocking himself out with sleeping pills. Thankfully, he wasn't missing anything important in class, and the lecture slides were already in his email. The professors didn't have much of a problem with him missing. He was on file as an omega with the school, and citing his heat was an easy, if awkward, excuse. 

The change took place midway through the flight. With a swipe of rouge, a classy dash of glitter to the corners of his eyes, and a subtle smudge of shadow, Yuuri became Eros. He slicked his hair back, and stuffed the oversized Yuuri sweatshirt into his carry on, revealing the fashionable outfit he had on underneath. 

“Why is this necessary?” Yuuri groaned. He studied his reflection in his cell phone camera. He looked good, at least as good as someone on an airplane could look. Plus, Phichit wasn't letting him wear his face mask and that was more than a little uncomfortable for Yuuri. 

“Because showing you in an airplane will make your fans curious. And it gives continuity to the adventure, too. Like, a timeline. Makes them excited for what's coming next.”

“That's stupid,” Yuuri said, but he flashed a sultry smirk at the camera all the same. Phichit took twelve before he was satisfied with the angle and the background, catching a flash of cloud through the window behind them. 

“Maybe a little. But it'll work, trust me.”

Yuuri sighed, leaning back in the, admittedly comfy seat. He’d never flown first class before, and he had to admit, it did make the process a little easier. “I really don't think they care that much either way where I am, as long as I'm still posting videos. Phichit, did Aria tell you whether or not it was okay to film in his house? Because we still have that thing on Saturday.”

“Nah, you're partying on Saturday. We’ll post a few videos of you dancing at the DJBek party and they'll get something later. It's spring break, Yuuri. We can break routine.”

Yuuri grimaced. “It's not for them.”

Phichit rolled his eyes. “We’ll figure it out, Yuuri. You're not going to be forgotten.  _ Trust me _ .” 

Vicchan whimpered quietly from the pet carrier. Yuuri cooed. “I'm so sorry, puppy. We’ll be out of here soon. We’ll get a taxi, and we'll find out where we’re staying.”

“Actually…” Phichit said. “Not… necessarily.”

* * *

“Phichit,” Yuuri gasped as they stepped out of the terminal. One hand was clenched in a white knuckle grip around the handle of Vicchan’s travel kennel, and the other had dropped the suitcase in favor of clenching onto Phichit’s wrist. 

“Yikes, ow, don't scratch me,” Phichit protested. 

“You planned this?” Yuuri screeched. 

Phichit shrugged, and then had the audacity to wave at the group picking them up. Yuuri was certain he'd stopped breathing when Aria waved back. 

Aria was here. Aria was at the airport, and next to him was JackOffMetti, also waving. 

“You're trying to kill me,” Yuuri said. “You want me to have a heart attack.”

“Of course not,” Phichit said. “If you die, I lose the best paying side job I've ever had. You're worth more to me alive, baby.” He grinned, like this was reassuring. “Come on, Eros, your Prince Charming is waiting.”

He brought up his cell phone, snapping a quick picture of Yuuri’s incredulous expression. 

“Okay, I knew you'd get nervous if I told you they were picking us up. But Aria insisted! This was his deal. He didn't want your first impression of Burbank to be of surly taxi drivers and rude people. Now come on,  _ Eros _ ,” Phichit said, lilting the name. 

Yuuri took a steadying breath. 

Eros. He was Eros. And Aria was too good for this world, Eros included. But Eros was better than Yuuri, and he finally understood why Phichit had made him change before arrival. Sometimes Yuuri hated his best friend knowing him so well.

He straightened his shoulders and reclaimed his luggage, prowling forward like a savannah cat on the hunt. Don't fuck this up. Don't fuck it up. His mouth was so dry. He was not at all emotionally ready for this right now, he should have been preparing himself mentally on the plane. He thought there would be more time. He couldn't breathe-

“Eros! Wow, you look even cuter in person!” Aria said, grinning. The man stuck out his hand. 

Clouds of his muffled scent rolled around him, fresh like snow roses, undercut with musk and something sharp, like winter and evergreen. It was unexpected, but the surprise of it made it somehow better. Something inside of Yuuri stirred in interest, something hungry that wanted to be enveloped in the scent completely and fucked until he couldn’t move.

Eros took center stage. He smiled and set his luggage down, shifting the kennel to his left hand. “Thank you. And you look every bit as good as you do online. I can't believe I'm actually here,” he said, extending his own hand to shake. Aria grabbed it gently, pulling it to his lips to kiss the knuckles. Yuuri almost fell to the floor in shock. 

“I can't believe it either,” Aria said, tipping his head, sniffing delicately at the scent gland on Yuuri’s wrist. His smile turned impossibly sweet. Yuuri’s mouth gaped like a fish. 

“Eros, this is Metti,” Aria said. When JackOffMetti reached his hand out, he actually shook hands, nodding his head in greeting. His scent was muted as well, likely by suppressants, but was rich with sandalwood and something dark and inviting, a hint of sex and a promise of wonderfully bad ideas. 

“Wonderful to meet you, Eros,” he purred. “Please, call me Chris.” He glanced at Phichit, shaking his hand next. “And you, little devil, must be the esteemed Peaches?”

“Call me Phichit,” Phichit said, taking his handshake next. “But little devil is also accurate. Hey, Eros, should I be LittleDevil instead of MemeLord?”

“Anything is better than MemeLord,” Yuuri groaned. “You're giving your name?” 

Phichit shrugged. “I'm fine with it. We've all got the nondisclosure signed. I mean, it's possible they could find your name from my name, but that's a twisty turny rabbit hole that wouldn't exactly be fun to walk down. I wish them luck if they try,” Phichit said, tipping an imaginary hat. “Your identity is more important to keep secret than mine. Not like I'm the one on camera.”

“The two of us haven't exactly been the most careful about keeping our identities secret. Not like you, Eros,” Aria laughed. “If you like, you can call me Victor. Or Aria. I don't make a big deal of it, but I'm certain the info is out there somewhere already.”

“Ah… right,” Yuuri said. Phichit was trying his damnedest not to laugh. Yuuri had a pretty good idea of why, but he elected to ignore it. “Please, I hope you aren't insulted if I'd prefer you call me Eros.” Because it was embarrassing enough to meet Aria -Victor- as Eros. No one wanted to see the hot mess raging dumpster fire that was Yuuri Katsuki. Except for Phichit, for some reason, which Yuuri would never understand. 

“No, no, it's fine for now!” Victor laughed. “I'd hate to screw up and moan your real name in the heat of the moment. We don't keep a delay on our streams so we wouldn't be able to catch it! I would hate to be the reason your secret got out.”

Yuuri laughed awkwardly. “Yes, of course.” That was the only reason. “I'm glad you understand. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.”

Victor blinked. “Bless you.”

Yuuri blushed. “Um. I wasn't sneezing.” Phichit grinned and elbowed Yuuri, fixing Victor with a suggestive look. 

“He was asking you to please take care of him and to treat him right. Very cute, Eros,” Phichit said. 

Yuuri sniffed disdainfully at him. “It also means for us to work hard and do a good job.” But he had, in fact, meant the first one. And now he was embarrassed, and the blush was far more Yuuri than Eros, and that was bad. He took a deep breath, and Victor’s rich scent washed over him. “You will take care of me, though, won't you?” he asked Victor, looking up through his lashes. 

A glance of red crossed Victor’s cheeks, so soft that Yuuri was certain he was imagining it. 

“O-of course,” Victor said. He cleared his throat. “My car is parked outside. Your equipment hasn’t arrived yet, but I checked the tracking online and it should be here before tomorrow morning. Anyway. I’m sure you’d like to see where you’ll be staying.” 

Vicchan yipped from the kennel, and Victor startled like he’d been electrocuted. “Puppy!” he said happily. He dropped to his knees, beaming into the bars of the cage. He wiggled his finger inside with the happiest little laugh Yuuri had ever heard. Oh god. Yuuri’s heart couldn't take that smile. “He’s so small and cute! He’s like a little Makkachin! This must be Vicchan!” Victor said. 

“His name’s not actually Vicchan,” Phichit said slyly. 

Yuuri glared. “Phichit,” he warned, but it was too late.

Chris hummed. “What is his name?”

“Phichit-” Yuuri tried to say, but Phichit grinned.

“Victor.”

Victor, human Victor, smiled up at Yuuri, and Yuuri’s heart was hammering a thousand beats a minute in his chest. “That’s so precious! He’s got my name! Is Vicchan a nickname for Victor where you’re from, Eros?”

“Isn’t it just the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?” Phichit said, obviously making this whole thing worse. Vicchan licked Victor’s fingers and barked happily.

“Let’s get to the car, we can let him out to stretch his little legs,” Victor said. Chris was laughing in the back. Yuuri sighed, rubbing his temples. Vicchan was growing restless in his kennel, though, and Yuuri felt terrible for him, so he nodded. 

“That would be nice, thank you.” Victor grabbed one of Yuuri’s bags, and Chris grabbed one of Phichit’s, and they headed out. 

There was something disorienting about taking off at 9 AM, flying five hours, and then finding it was now 11, an odd little time warp that was throwing him off. At least his phone automatically updated the time to accommodate the new time zone. Victor chattered happily as they left the airport, donning a pair of shades as they stepped into the sunlight. Yuuri was buzzing on a mix of incredulity and arousal, and he was more than a little embarrassed that his pants were growing uncomfortably tight. 

Their new host spread his arms as they got their first glimpse of clear blue skies. It was sunny and at least seventy degrees, refreshing against Yuuri’s skin. It was much colder in Detroit, and the air here felt pleasant in comparison. Yuuri was also dressed in Eros clothes, which meant everything was just on that side of sexy, appropriate for public wear, but flirting with indecency in the dip of the v-neck, the way the pants hugged his ass. It was embarrassing, but appropriate for the weather. More so than the sweatshirts and sweatpants Yuuri wished he was wearing. 

Apparently San Fernando Valley was ten degrees warmer than everywhere else. Yuuri might not have had a point of comparison, but damn, it felt warm for spring. 

“Welcome to California!” Victor and Chris said at the same time. 

Yuuri welcomed the distraction and the rush of fresh air that chased away Victor’s intoxicating scent. They’d gotten a nice view of the city as they’d been landing, but seeing it from the ground was different. They picked their way to the car, lapsing into slightly awed silence. He was in California. He was with Aria. And Aria wasn’t upset to see him, for some crazy reason. He was smiling. 

Yuuri let Vicchan out of his kennel and clipped his leash on, letting the dog spin excited circles around his ankles. Victor was smiling at Vicchan, and Yuuri was probably not going to survive this weekend, let alone last until his heat if he kept looking like that. 

Yuuri stopped dead when he saw it. He'd almost forgotten it was something that existed at all, and to see it in person made this whole situation more ridiculous. Victor’s car, featured in more than one Instagram post, a gift from a very wealthy viewer who liked his butt. She'd sent it with a card stating as much. 

It was a hot pink convertible, the top rolled down, the seats pristine white leather, and it stood out in a big way. They weren’t the only ones who noticed it sitting there. Other people were pointing it out as they passed it by.

“My baby,” Victor said. “You can't live in LA and not have a convertible. It's practically a crime.” He winked. Yuuri busied himself with untangling Vicchan’s leash and tried not to cry about how crazy everything was. They were going to ride in the convertible. What was Yuuri’s life now?

Victor popped the trunk, and they fit what they could into the back, the rest worked between the seats wherever there was room. “So about your heat,” Victor started as they worked. “What day do you anticipate it happening? Phichit said you were expecting it midweek, but I wanted to make sure so I don’t drop my suppressants too soon.”

Yuuri flushed crimson, glancing at Chris, but the man didn’t even seem to bat an eye. He noticed Yuuri’s attention and chuckled. “Don’t worry about me, Eros, I’m not shy. You don’t have to fret on my behalf. I’ll be one of the moderators this time around, anyway.”

“Ah, right,” Yuuri said gracefully, accepting the easy excuse. He scooped Vicchan into his arms. Just the facts. Yuuri could list facts. “I can’t be certain until a little closer to time, but it does feel like it will probably be Wednesday. And I usually start early evening as well, historically speaking.” 

“Good, we can start planning from there. Are you two hungry? I know a great place for lunch. We should probably stop on the way, because traffic will take forever.”

“Good, I’m starved,” Phichit said. “I heard the valley has good sushi. We should get sushi. Eros, tell me you want sushi.”

“I’m fine with anything,” Yuuri said. He glanced out at the scenery rolling by with a disbelieving smile. Here he was.

* * *

 

At lunch, the first part of the plan was set into motion. They snapped a selfie while waiting for their food. It was a good picture, even Phichit approved of it. 

Aria was smirking at the camera, all at once confident and self-assured, one arm wrapped around Eros’s waist, his chin tucked into the juncture of Eros’s neck and shoulder, suspiciously close to his scent gland. Eros’s smolder was hot enough to melt steel, his hips tilted to lean suggestively against Aria, head cocked back to gaze down his nose. The poses were possessive. It was like both of them were claiming ‘mine’ through their eyes alone, the twist of their bodies, the curl of their hands. 

Chris whistled when he saw it. 

Victor posted it to his Aria account. “And I thought lunch was spicy!! WOW #vkusno @InnocentEros”

Phichit posted it to the InnocentEros account with a different comment. “@AriaAlpha knows the best places to eat out ;) Stay tuned for big news! #topsecret #revealsoon” 

“That will definitely get some buzz going,” Chris said, grinning. He retweeted both Aria and Eros’s posts. 

“Very sexy. Much Eros. Wow,” Phichit said, already retweeting one of the comments. Yuuri rolled his eyes. 

“Phichit, stop being a meme.” 

It was strange. If Yuuri closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that this was normal. Phichit acted exactly like he always did, as did Aria and JackOffMetti. So really, it was just like falling into one of the livestreams. Except he was actually there, feeling Aria brush against him just enough to set Yuuri’s face alight, drown his mind in heated fantasies. The touches were all accidental, a skim of his fingers against Yuuri’s thigh, a bump to his shoulder, but oh, Yuuri wanted to pretend they were deliberate. 

The plan was simple enough. Tease the idea of Eros being elsewhere. Show him with Legendary Alpha Aria. Let the followers fill in the blanks. The speculation would drive the fanbase wild, hopefully, and that was before they suggested that Yuuri’s heat was coming up. 

Everyone would be expecting the rut from Aria. It was tradition. But as soon as they made the announcement that there would be a concurrent heat from Eros, supposedly, it would attract that much more attention. Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure what Chris and Phichit expected Eros being there to accomplish. But they seemed certain enough, so Yuuri was going to keep his mouth shut. 

Somehow, he survived lunch, and they hit the road once more. 

The condo was in a nice neighborhood, bigger than Yuuri and Phichit’s apartment back in Detroit, and probably extremely expensive. The interior was sleek and modern, if a little bit impersonal. Phichit laughed at a chair that was also a coat rack, until he googled it and found out how much it cost. He stopped laughing pretty quick after that. Vicchan made himself right at home in Makkachin’s empty bed after sniffing around the apartment in a frenzy.

“This is your room, Phichit, and the one beside it is Eros’s. The one at the end of the hall is mine. It’s also my studio, so I don’t mind if you pop your head in there and take a look around. Just don’t steal anything, da?” His eyes twinkled, so he was probably kidding. “I hate to bring you here and leave you, but I have a feisty kitten and a poodle I have to pick up and I’m afraid lunch took a bit longer than I expected it to. Make yourselves at home. I’m sure you’d like to shower anyway, after that flight.”

“Don’t worry about us,” Phichit said. “Eros and I are going to unpack, if you don’t mind. Thanks for letting us stay here, it’s really awesome of you.”

“Yes,” Yuuri said quietly. “Thank you. You’re too kind to open your home up to us like this.”

Victor laughed. “Don’t mention it. The bathroom’s fully stocked, and there’s a closet in there with towels. Keep an eye on Twitter for me, Phichit.” He waved one last time and headed back out with Chris. Phichit and Yuuri exchanged looks. 

“Holy shit,” Yuuri gasped. 

“Holy shit holy shit,” Phichit agreed. “Oh my god, we just had lunch with Aria! And you and he are so cute together, holy shit. It’s better than I dreamed. I ship you two so hard.”

Yuuri groaned. “Stop it, Phichit. It’s literally just for my heat. This is business.”

“Yeah, his business going in your business all day long for the world to see. You and I both know you’re looking forward to it. Seriously, though, I thought you two would look nice together, but I didn’t expect this. Eros has the whole ‘sex on legs, can’t be legal’ vibe and when you put that beside the ultimate Aria ‘ladykiller, perfection incarnate’ thing, holy shit.”

“Phichit!” Yuuri groaned. He scooped up Vicchan and cradled him in his arms.    


“I’m just saying, people were staring at us at lunch, and it wasn’t because I’m god’s gift to mankind.”

“The gods sure have a funny sense of humor,” Yuuri muttered mutinously. “Seriously though. He’s so beautiful. It hurts to look at him. His eyes are so much bluer in person, Phichit, he smells so good I want to cry. Why is he so nice? I can’t, Phichit, I can’t.”

Phichit laughed. “Yuuri, my friend, you’re just as beautiful. Never forget that.”

“As Eros, maybe! It’s fine,” Yuuri said, a little more forcefully than necessary “It’s fine. We’ve got a few days. We’ll have sex, and then I’ll return to Detroit. This will be the best week of my life, easy. And just imagine how popular Eros will be after.” He just had to keep from exploding over the next week. 

They unpacked after that. As it turned out, Yuuri wasn’t quite correct about the ratio of Eros clothes and Yuuri clothes. He thought there would be at least some of his own clothes. He thought wrong.

He’d yell at Phichit later. He really wanted a shower after that flight. Phichit beat him there, so Yuuri wandered the condo by himself. The nerves were beginning to eat at him again as he pushed open the door to Victor’s room.

He recognized it. Of course he did, it was the same room Victor did so many of his streams in. The room he held his annual rut in. It was spacious, with massive bay windows overlooking a stunning vista of the city, and a California king bed so massive, it dominated the room. It smelled like Victor in here, and the omega in Yuuri was wanting him now. Yuuri turned on his heels and shut the door behind him. 

Everything in here smelled of Victor. Soft, fragrant, all-encompassing. Yuuri retreated to the couch, but even that smelled of Victor, sweet with roses and musk and winter pines. He buried his face and sighed. Fuck. He was hard again. And no camera equipment. No way to broadcast, even though he was desperate, and he  _ needed _ right now. It wasn’t fair. Aria was literal perfection. Even his smell was perfect. 

He hurried to the shower as soon as it cut off, eager to turn the dial to ice and send his problems packing. 

Victor returned a few hours later raking his fingers through his perfect silver hair, chatting with someone as he stepped through the door. Phichit had done the honors of fixing Yuuri back up to Eros standards, and Yuuri felt better now that he was fresh. They were on the couch now, trying to figure out how the channels were arranged on his TV and arguing about what show to watch. Phichit was a pro at making himself at home anywhere. 

“Eros, I’m back!” Victor called out. 

A standard poodle, much bigger than Vicchan, burst through the door, immediately rushing toward Yuuri. Yuuri felt a grin explode across his face. “Oh my goodness, you must be Makkachin,” he cooed, as Vicchan leapt off his lap to sniff at the bigger version of himself. Yuuri scratched the dogs behind the ears, splitting his attentions between both of them.

“Victor, what the actual  _ fuck _ ,” someone hissed from the doorway.

“Oh, Yuri, this is Eros! He’s in my line of work,” Victor chirped brightly. “He and his friend Phichit are here for my show next week. Don’t spoil the surprise, though!” 

A blond young man, skinny as a rail and on the shorter side, openly gaped. Yuuri leaned back against the couch, and he ran his fingers through his hair to make sure it was back from his forehead like it was supposed to be. Yuuri would shrink into the couch and try to disappear. Which meant Eros would introduce himself, right? 

“Hi Victor, hello…?” Yuuri trailed off politely. 

“This is Yuri!” Victor said, pushing the blond past the threshold and into the living room. Yuuri tried to play off the surprise of finding someone with his name. He’d had classes before where there were half a dozen Matthews and more than one Mark, but Yuuri wasn’t a common name to find. 

Phichit cackled beside him, and Yuuri shoved his shoulder affectionately. “Stop laughing, jerk. It’s nice to meet you, Yuri.” Yuuri could smell the boy’s alpha pheromones from here, sharp as a knife, almost unpleasant beside the cozy freshness of Victor’s. Yuuri offered him a smile. 

“You got this asshole for your show?” Yuri growled. “You both have just awful taste. Both of you. Why the fuck did you bring me here?” 

Yuuri frowned, and Phichit stopped laughing. 

“Mila’s coming by later for some last minute consultations for tomorrow, and she demanded you be here. I thought I explained all this?” Victor said. 

“You didn’t!” Yuri spat. “You just grabbed your stupid dog, which I can’t believe I had to watch for you, by the way, and told me to get in the car. This is what you made me watch that mutt for? So you could pick up  _ him _ ?”

“Is there a problem, Yuri?” Phichit asked. 

Yuri glanced back at Phichit and Yuuri, staring at them for a long time, something incomprehensible on his face. He glanced at Victor.

“Fuck you all. I’m hiding in the guest room to text Beka.” Yuri stomped toward Phichit’s room. 

“Guest room’s in use,” Victor said. Yuri turned soundlessly and started for Yuuri’s. “That one, too.” Yuri steamed quietly for a long moment before he stalked back to the couch, flopping viciously onto the furthest end, as far from Yuuri as he could get. 

“None of you talk to me.”

“Done,” Phichit said.

Victor shrugged, an almost, ‘what are you going to do’ sort of look. “You’re angrier than normal today, Yuri. Did I forget something again?”

“Oh, absolutely nothing,” Yuri scowled. He buried his attentions in his phone, jabbing at it furiously. 

Victor shrugged again. “Well, okay then. Eros, I’m so sorry I had to leave you here.”

“It’s alright,” Yuuri said, turning his attention back to Makkachin. “Ahh, you’re such a pretty girl, yes you are,” he cooed. Vicchan was getting jealous, butting his head against Yuuri’s side, and Yuuri laughed and petted him too. Yuuri smiled up at Victor. “I’m sorry, I never did get the chance to properly thank you for letting Vicchan come along. He’s terribly codependent. He would have probably been very upset if I’d had to leave him with a friend.”

“It’s nothing,” Victor said, immediately sitting down in the open gap between Yuri and Yuuri. “Makkachin loves him already.”

The bigger poodle was thrilled to meet Vicchan, it was obvious, while Vicchan was much more reserved about the bigger dog. He skittered around, trying to avoid her sniffing. Phichit settled on some reality TV show nobody really wanted to watch. 

Victor’s smile did crazy things to Yuuri’s heart. 

* * *

Yuri avoided Yuuri like the plague, which was quite fine with Yuuri, because the boy had a serious attitude problem. He vanished for a while with a redheaded woman who showed up with Chinese food. She dragged Yuri into Victor’s bedroom for a while, and he came out even angrier than before. 

Then Yuuri was dragged into the room, and found out that the redhead was the Mila that Victor had mentioned before, and that she was also BabichevaBabe on YouTube. Meaning she was only one of the most famous fashion vloggers on the internet, along with her on-again, off-again (currently off) hockey star boyfriend. Right. Grand Prix of big names.

That was when he found out Phichit had sent his measurements ahead, and Mila had made him an outfit for the DJBeck party tomorrow night, and she just needed him to put it on for a final check on the fit. It took Yuuri over an hour to get over that particular betrayal. It wouldn't have taken so long, except the outfit was both risque and so absolutely perfect that there was no way it wasn’t extremely expensive. 

He didn’t even get to see the tags. Mila waved him off and sent him on his way before he could. She also didn't let Victor see it, which surprised Yuuri. Victor gave up when she told him he would see it tomorrow. 

The borrowed bedroom even smelled like Victor, and Yuuri was ruined already. If this was where he was going to have his heat, he was going to be driven out of his mind with heat haze the entire time, if this was what he was going to be smelling. 

The equipment arrived in the morning, but Yuuri didn’t get a chance to fire it up because Phichit was dragging him out of the room at dawn (closer to noon, by the time Yuuri was awake and dressed) to explore the city. 

Victor wanted to play tour guide, but he was called away on urgent business, so he left an extremely reluctant Yuri in charge of being their guide. He said it was the tradeoff for letting Yuri sleep on his couch last night. Yuri did not take kindly to this, and Yuuri had a moment of both panic and relief that Victor wouldn’t be coming along. 

Still, despite the quiet fuming, the slouch, and the angry stomp as Yuri led them around, it was actually quite fun. There were lots of interesting shops, it was very dog-friendly, and Yuri was more knowledgeable than he looked, though he growled at anything that moved. 

They stopped for lunch at a cute little cafe, passing the occasional scrap to Vicchan. 

“So what's your deal?” Phichit asked.

Yuri glared. “The fuck are you talking about.”

“Your deal. Like, do you just always have this colossal stick up your ass?” Phichit asked. Yuuri was zoning out, only half listening and not even playing at being sexy right now. Being Eros full time was exhausting, and Yuuri was already feeling tired after a full day of it yesterday. 

And yet, he was feeding off the feeling of people taking a second look, the few appreciative glances he caught leveled at his back. He could never be Eros full time back in Detroit. It would give the secret up immediately. But if Eros was on vacation, no one could trace where he was from. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Yuri snapped. His heart didn't really seem to be into it. 

Yuuri glanced back at his half-eaten lunch and then up at Yuri. The boy’s face was a bit red. Yuuri put a hand on Phichit’s shoulder. “Let him be. He's fine, for now. Swearing isn't going to cause any problems.”

“He's being rude to you. You're fine with that?

Yuuri smiled. “He was rude with Victor, too. It's okay, he can hate cam boys. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.”

“I didn't ask for you to back me up,” Yuri spat, but his expression had changed. He was surprised. “You call him Victor instead of Aria? Even though you're going to be on his damn show?”

“Oh, is that too forward of me?” Yuuri fretted. “He said I could, but… it's a little easier to talk with him when I think of him like Victor, than as Aria. Aria is…”

“Intimidating as all fuck?” Phichit offered. Yuuri laughed, brushing back his hair. Yuri immediately recoiled. 

“I'm sorry,” Yuuri said, crossing his wrists immediately, abashed. “I usually wear my scent blocking patches when I'm out and about, but someone had to drag me out of the house before I was ready.” He threw a pointed look at Phichit. His scent was probably suffusing around them, and the movement might have accidentally released a little cloud. 

Phichit always described it as something soothing but sensual, with vanilla notes and a sharp cut of something citrus-y, like oranges, when he was getting close to heat. He probably was starting to smell like oranges now. 

Yuri was covering his nose with a glare. “I can show you where to buy some. People are staring at us. And pointing.”

Yuuri glanced around. He was right. A few people were looking at him, him, in particular. 

“Mmm, Eros, it's probably because you smell good enough to eat right now. Ooh, that reminds me, we need to update your Instagram again. The plan demands. I already posted those pictures from the shopping trip, but we need lunch too,” Phichit said, and Yuuri groaned. 

“More pictures?” 

They got a good picture between the two of them and posted it. Almost as soon as they did, a couple came over, looking nervous but excited. 

“Oh my gosh, are you Eros?” the woman asked, tugging her companion’s sleeve excitedly. Yuuri glanced up in surprise. He was never recognized. Except for the fact that his hair was slicked back, and his eyes were itching with the contact lenses, so of course he was recognized now. 

Yuuri smirked, fluttering his lashes. It was almost automatic, a Pavlovian response. “You've seen my show?” he purred. Yuri was gagging in the background. 

“All the time!” the man said. He was grinning, bouncing on his heels, barely sparing a glance at Phichit and Yuri. “We watch it together all the time. We just wanted to say we’re big fans. We’re super excited to find out what your big news is. Does it have to do with Aria?”

“It might,” Yuuri said, curling his lip. “But I can't share just yet. I hope you understand?”

“Aahhhh, I can't believe it,” the woman cheered. “I get to meet Eros. I'm so glad I dragged you out today,” she said to the man. To Yuuri, she beamed. “Please, can we get a picture?”

They thrust their phones at Phichit, who grinned and snapped a few until they got a few ones up to his standards. The woman hugged Eros, and she stepped back squealing. “Oh my gosh, my jacket smells like him.” The two chattered excitedly until they finally got their fill of talking with him, and they said goodbye. 

Yuuri groaned. “Oh my god, someone actually recognized me? And they figured it out?”

“Eros, you're a big name in the camming world, and you're in the porn capital of America. Someone is going to put two and two together,” Phichit said. Yuuri buried his face in the table, clapping his hands over his itching scent glands. 

Yuri was staring again when Yuuri looked up. The blond growled and buried his attention back in his food. 

“Phichit, we have the equipment. We should stream when we get back. We can start a little early, I don't think the party starts until later, so we should have time.”

Phichit shook his head. “Nah, we should leave them wanting more. If you stream now, they're not going to be as interested in the party. We have to drive them crazy. I've got some things set up so you don't have to worry about anything.”

“Phichit,” Yuuri growled. He gave him a pointed look. He wasn't going to say in front of Yuri, because Yuri had made it very clear his opinion on cam boys, but Yuuri needed this. He'd been wound up the last day and a half, and while it helped to get outside and away from Aria’s delicious scent, Yuuri wasn't entirely sure what would happen when he ran into Victor again. 

“Get your libido under control,” Phichit chirped. He patted Yuuri’s shoulder. “We got plans.”

Yuuri groaned. “That’s easy for you to say.”

* * *

 

Victor’s business was apparently a combination of things. He apologized profusely over the phone when he called, insisting that he didn't know he’d be busy for so long, and that it was all desperately important and couldn't be forgotten. 

Yuuri told him it was fine. 

Obviously he didn't expect Aria’s undivided attention. Aria had his own busy life, and Yuuri was just here for his part in a few days. They worked their way back to the condo, Yuri sullen and quietly fuming, Phichit and Yuuri on full tourist mode. 

Mila was back in the condo when they arrived, Victor sweeping Yuuri into an enormous hug when they stepped through the door. It made Yuuri temporarily short circuit and have to reboot back up into Eros mode. 

“Eros, I’m so sorry I abandoned you this morning,” Victor said. “I was going to show you around Studio City, but then work called, and-”

“It's fine, Victor,” Eros said. “I had fun. Yuri was pleasant company.” He smiled, and Yuri looked like he was somewhere between shocked and insulted. Yuuri wasn't even exaggerating that much. Yuri was crude, but there were worse on his streams. Yuri just seemed to have a boulder-sized chip on his shoulder. 

“Ah, but you're an honored guest, and I can't believe I wasn't able to be a good host for you,” Victor said. “We’re getting ready for the rut, and it always gets a little busy in the leadup. You don't mind if we do the announcement just before the party, right? Phichit and I discussed it, but I don't think we talked about it with you.”

“That's fine,” Yuuri said, already wondering if he could still convince Phichit to change his mind. Maybe if he pulled the ‘how could you orchestrate all this behind my back’ card, Phichit would let him do his stream. “The party can be like… a celebration of the announcement. Kind of. Even though it isn't really.”

“Exactly what I was thinking!” Victor said. “A fun way to show off our collaboration. We can do a short video in the restaurant to announce it, I think, and then we can head out to the club.”

Yuuri felt a nervous rumble, but he tried to ignore it. Large groups of people always made him uneasy, but if he went as Eros, it would be okay. He just needed to stay sober.

* * *

 

The announcement had been easy enough. It was a quick video posted to both of their Instagram accounts, the two of them announcing a collaboration for a livestream Wednesday night. 

“That’s right, kids, the rut is almost upon us, and we've got Eros here as a special guest,” Chris had added, leaning into the video and grinning like an oversexed fool. It had been funny. 

Phichit kept checking the post periodically while they ate, but he didn't say anything to Yuuri. Probably, he didn't want to stress Yuuri out. He popped out his phone and started live streaming almost as soon as they were finished. The camera quality wasn't as good, but Phichit bought phones with a priority on internal cameras and battery life, so it wasn't abysmal. Just not quite to the same standard as official broadcasts. 

“Eros, how's it feel to know you're going to be working with Aria in just a few days?” Phichit said in a mock interviewer voice. 

“I'm very excited,” Eros purred, sliding into the act as easily as slipping in his smallest plug. “It's not anything I've ever done before, so I'm very interested in finding out how things go. Aria has been a perfect gentleman.” He tipped his head toward Aria. They were walking beside each other, heading for the nearby club. Aria curled an arm around Eros, pulling him closer with a distinct smirk. 

Phichit glanced through the comments. “Let’s see, Cherriboyhunter is asking if you've done the deed yet…” 

Yuuri shook his head, grinning. “Cherri, is my virginity that important to you?” he teased gently. 

Aria laughed. It sounded faker than his normal laughs, Yuuri realized with a little bit of surprise. Aria nuzzled Eros’s cheek. “Mmm, you never mentioned I will get to be your first.” Yuuri blinked in surprise. He had definitely told Aria that he had sex before… oh. Aria was baiting the viewers. Giving them what they wanted.

Eros purred happily under the attention. It covered him in Victor’s scent, and it was driving him fucking crazy. “You won't be too rough on me, will you?” he said, his tone just mischievous enough to imply that being rough was exactly what he wanted. 

Aria’s eyes glittered. “Oh, you are a little minx.”

Let them think it was his first time. Sure. Easy enough. JackOffMetti stepped into frame, grinning and throwing his arms over their shoulders. 

“Let's have some fun tonight, yeah?” he said. Yuuri felt the camera on him. It made him smile. Could the viewers see him now, standing with Aria and Metti? Would it make him popular? Yuuri could already imagine being able to upgrade to a nicer apartment if his popularity went up. Maybe something as nice as Victor’s, since rent was so much cheaper in Detroit...

“Mmm, I probably shouldn't drink, Metti,” Yuuri said. “Liquor and I have differing opinions about what's decent to do in public.” 

“But Eros,” Chris said, “it's a party. You're supposed to have fun. And decent is entirely overrated. Just one. Have you ever had an AMF?”

Phichit cackled behind the camera. Yuuri shook his head. “No, what does it stand for?”

“It's also called an Electric Lemonade. Because it's blue, you see,” Chris continued. “Come on, let me buy you just one. It's delicious.”

Yuuri smiled indulgently. “Aria, is this a good idea, or are you two going to get me drunk and do wicked things to me?” 

Aria only grinned. “I will be a perfect gentleman. Your fans have nothing to worry about. Your chastity will remain intact,” he teased. 

“And I am happily in a relationship currently,” Metti said, “although if we break up, you will be the first to know, beautiful.”

“You're a dear,” Eros breathed. “Just one drink then.” Phichit just kept laughing. Behind Phichit, Yuri scowled. He was tagging along, and Yuuri couldn't for the life of him figure out why. 

At the doors, Victor needed only to flash a smile at the bouncer, and he was let in, the others following behind. Yuri nodded at the bouncer, who nodded back like he knew him. 

Phichit narrated in the background for the viewers. “If you have been living under a rock for the last two years, you might have missed the sudden rise to stardom of one DJBek, who did a stint on America’s Got Talent, and was subsequently robbed of his rightful win in the last episode. But it's okay, because he's made himself a far more lucrative career on YouTube, establishing himself with a record label, and now he throws the best parties known to man!”

“Let's get fucking lit,” Yuri said, sounding less than enthusiastic. “Whooo.” He was pointedly staying off camera. 

Chris and Victor popped away to grab them drinks, and the rest laid claim to a nearby booth. The music was loud, and it was hard to hear over the pulsing dance beat. 

The first AMF went down smooth, smooth, smooth, and Yuuri was on his next before he really noticed. The music was amazing, heavy and throbbing, not subscribing to any one genre except to show an abiding love of house beats, rolling like a pulse in Yuuri’s ears. He head bobbed, swaying in his seat as he sipped at the poison blue drink.

Eros wanted to dance. He downed the rest of the AMF like he was dying of thirst and slammed the glass to the table. “Let’s fucking party. Aria, dance with me.” He was on his feet, tugging on Aria’s wrists. Aria’s eyes widened, and then he smiled. Everything became a delicious blur, and all the while people were watching. The camera saw him spin, dip, twirl, moving like a fiend across the dance floor. 

Years of rigorous dance training in ballet and other classical styles, a two-year intensive on pole dancing, swing, hip hop, and then there was that breakdancing tutorial video series they'd followed over one weekend. Yuuri was crippled by his doubts and his fears. Drunk Eros could fucking dance, and he knew it. 

Aria was beautiful. He was so beautiful. “You smell so good,” he gasped when the next song ended, rolling into a new song with a slower beat. It killed Yuuri’s vibe. “I'm thirsty. Let's get more to drink,” he said, grinning. Aria was smiling, so widely and beautiful. Had Yuuri realized how beautiful Aria was yet? Because Aria is so beautiful. He tasted the words on his tongue. “Oh, I'm talking out loud,” he realized, and then he giggled. 

“It's fine, Eros, I think you're beautiful, too,” Aria said, tugging him back to the table. Chris and Phichit had vanished. Yuri was fuming at the table alone, the camera pointed at Eros. 

“Why do you have my mod’s phone?” Yuuri giggled, draping himself over Aria and grabbing for one of the unattended drinks on the table. He knocked it back in one go. 

“Your fucking moderator handed me his phone and said to kick anyone who called you anything other than beautiful. Do I look like a fucking dog-”

“We appreciate it, IceTiger,” Aria said, and Yuuri giggled again, because that was his username?

“Fuck off, Eros!” Yuri spat. “It's a great username. Better than fucking Eros.” Talking aloud again. Oops. He giggled again. 

“Aria, can I have more of that stuff from before?” Yuuri asked. “The stuff that was like your eyes. So pretty,” he gasped, slurring on his words. He looked at the camera. “His eyes are so blue. They're so amaaazing.”

Aria’s lips skimmed his ear. “Are you sure? I think you're quite drunk already.” Yuuri’s eyes closed. Aria’s mouth was very distracting. It brushed the shell of his ear and made his pants feel tight, made him feel slick. 

“Mmm, s’fine,” he slurred. “It’s ‘kay cause ‘m an adult. And that stuff was so good. Ahaha, tiger. You're such a fierce little tiger!” He looked at Yuri and started laughing, because this was hilarious. “Mmm, pretty please, Aria?” he asked, leaning up against Aria. “Want it so bad.”

Aria was frozen against him, and Yuuri really didn't want to look up because his nose was buried in Aria’s neck, and it just smelled so good… Yuuri’s hips twitched, grinding gently against Aria. Ah, he wanted, he wanted...

His hands were gathered, and Aria pressed a kiss to his knuckles, a soft callback to their first meeting. “Of course, zvezda.” Yuuri whined when Victor took his rose-sweet scent with him. 

His shirt was coming unbuttoned. Half of his chest was exposed. He tried to redo the top button, but realized halfway through that he was hot. He undid the others while Yuri screeched at him to put his shirt back on. 

“It's hootttt,” he groaned. Aria came back with a few more drinks. Yuuri knocked another of the bright blue drinks back, smacking his lips appreciatively. The warmth was spreading through him. 

“Eros, you're coming undone,” Aria chided gently, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Yuuri bulled past his featherlight touch, pushing Victor down into the booth and plopping sideways into his lap. Yuuri wiggled, feeling an insistent press of hardness against his thighs. He batted away Victor’s hands, repositioning them from his buttons to his hips. 

“Don't want it buttoned,” he said, petulant as a child. He wiggled again. The hardness was nice. He tipped back his head and preened. “Aria, you know you're so big. I can feel you against my leg,” he purred. 

He heard Victor choke, and across the table, Yuri was miming hurling. “That's fucking gross, Eros,” Yuri spat. 

“Is not,” Eros said, sticking out his tongue. “Aria should fuck me. Right here. Where everyone can see.”

“As much as I would love to,” Aria breathed, smoothing his hands over Yuuri’s thighs. His scent became heavier, and Yuuri could smell his arousal. “We shouldn't. Not now. Not here. Wouldn't it be better later? When you were sober?”

Yuuri considered it. “But if I wait till I'm sober, then I can't have it now. Ooooh, hi!” he said, noticing a man with dark hair making his way to their table. 

He was a serious-looking man with an undercut and a leather jacket despite the heat of the club. He looked a little familiar. 

“Beka,” Yuri said, and his expression became a mingling mix of thrilled and horrified. “What are you doing here? I thought you were running the DJ table.”

Their host. The man looked from Yuuri to the camera in Yuri’s hands, before he sat down beside Yuri with a shrug. “It's fine. I have Leo running the booth right now. Are you streaming, Eros?” he said, glancing at Yuuri again. 

“You know my name?” Yuuri gasped. “You- you're DJBek. I love your music.” He danced to it occasionally, but he hadn't expected to meet the man himself. Yuuri wiggled again in Aria’s lap, and Aria groaned. Another wave of aroused scent drifted over Yuuri, and his hunger was validated. Aria wanted it too, Aria wanted to fuck him, Aria wanted-

“I've seen a few of your videos. You're a good dancer,” DJBek said, and Yuri gagged while Yuuri preened. “What do you guys think of the party?”

“It's good,” Yuri said. “Except for these idiots dry humping on the dance floor and Eros’s mod ditching the camera with me.” Yuri glared at the phone, twitching into a furious expression. “Also, you assholes watching, stop fucking bitching at me. I'm not reading your fucking comments to him. Stop fucking asking.”

DJBek leaned over, his eyebrows raising as he read over the comments. “Someone named CandyMan says he wants to watch you dance again,” he said. “And… oh, that's a bit crude. Are all of your stream viewers so bold?” He raised an eyebrow, not embarrassed, but curious. 

“They're so nice,” Yuuri slurred. “They tell me I'm pretty and they watch me do things online. Like dance. I like dancing. Ooh, I want to dance again. The music is so good here. I'm gonna dance again. Be right back. Stay here, Aria. Watch me, okay?”

“Okay,” Victor was saying, just as Yuri snarled. 

“Sit your ass down,” Yuri spat. “Don't be stupid.”

“You're so mean to me,” Yuuri pouted. “Why are you so angry? You should loosen up and dance too. Don’t just sit here all night. Come with me!” 

Aria and DJBek both chuckled as he stumbled to his feet. He glanced down. His pants were tented and his thighs felt slicker than normal. Oh well. It wouldn't be a problem. He grabbed Yuri by the wrists, leaving the phone with Aria. 

“Dance off, right now!” Yuuri declared. 

“Fuck you, I'm not dancing on your livestream-”

“Chicken,” Eros baited, eyes sparkling. “You afraid of losing to a cam boy?”

“Not even,” Yuri spat. “Fine then. Let's do this, you're going down.”

Yuuri spun away with a drunken cheer, almost falling down. “Aria, Aria, watch me. Don't look away, okay? And film it."

“I won't look away for a moment,” Aria vowed. He grabbed Yuuri’s shoulder and whispered in his ear, “win for me, okay?”

Yuuri smelled a wave of arousal and he nodded. As the new song started up, so too did the dance off. He threw his body into the movements, recalling the breakdancing video. Win for Aria. Win. The music kept playing, and Yuuri was falling into it. As the speed ticked up into a fast-paced Spanish rap, he grabbed a thin metal support strut and spun around it like a pole. 

Moving felt good. It was a dream, and people were staring, cheering, and the lights were more beautiful than anything, except for Aria’s eyes… 

He was short on breath when he returned to the table. Aria’s mouth was open, and he was sputtering. He buried his nose in Yuuri’s neck and inhaled greedily. “You are perfect, just perfect,” he growled, and the omega in Yuuri was whimpering from the approval. Yuri looked soundly defeated. DJBek was watching the screen of Phichit’s phone with mild interest. 

Yuuri swayed unsteadily, almost pitching right off Aria’s lap. He closed his eyes and hummed along with the song that was playing. 

“I think he's had too much,” DJBek said.

“You  _ think _ ?” Yuri snapped.

Aria nodded, taking a long, deep breath through his sleeve, like he was trying to muffle Yuuri’s smell. “I think you're right. We need to sober him up a little. Peaches might not be happy if he saw Eros like this.”

“There are rooms upstairs. You can lay him down for an hour or two and get him some water, and it might help a bit. Oh. Someone named Stargirlxxx is recommending greasy food now…” 

“Stargirl!” Yuuri chirped, not opening his eyes. The world spun too fast when he did. “Hi! I can't eat greasy food. It's unhealthy. I'll ruin my diet. Did I dance pretty?”

“You were beautiful,” Aria said, and a shiver wracked down Yuuri’s spine. “But we should get you some rest. Come on, let's go upstairs. IceTiger, can you help me?”

“Is there someone I should find? Where’s his mod friend?” DJBek asked. 

Yuri snarled, “Ran off. I’ll let him know his cam boy is fucking shit faced right now.” 

“Thanks,” Aria said. He eased Yuuri to his feet. The world swirled. “Come on, let's find somewhere quiet. Do you want to talk to your followers?” 

“Yesss,” Eros said. “They're the best. No, you're the best. Aria, you should stick your dick in me right now. Fuck. I want you so bad.” Yuuri grabbed Aria by the collar and rolled his hips. Fuck. He was really hard right now. 

Aria braced an arm under him and lifted, hauling him into his arms. Yuuri didn’t know if this was an improvement or no. He couldn’t grind against Aria’s leg, but he could better present his neck and rub his wrists against Aria’s shirt, and now his whole body was curled up against Aria’s chest, so close to the soft evergreen and roses smell...

They followed DJBek to a door in the back. DJBek swiped a keycard and the doorway opened up to a set of stairs. He passed the phone to Aria. “Will he be alright?”

“I think so. He just needs to sober up enough for us to take him home. Tell IceTiger we've gone upstairs if you see him. Nice party, by the way.”

DJBek might have smiled. Or maybe Yuuri was imagining it. “Aria,” Yuuri whimpered. “Do I smell bad? Do you not want me?”

“Shh, it’s okay, Eros. You are testing my self control in the cruelest of ways right now, I promise. We can resume his conversation when you’re sober.” Victor took the phone from DJBek. 

DJBek nodded at Yuuri. “Get some rest. I’ll tell your friends.” 

Victor carried him up the stairs and found a room with a couch to set Yuuri down on. Yuuri nosed at Victor’s neck, purring eagerly. He hopped up as soon as Victor set him down, swaying unsteadily on his feet. He could still hear the music. He could also hear a small tone every time a new message appeared on his stream. 

“Eros, please lay down,” Aria said gently, tugging him around the middle. 

Yuuri smiled as he set the phone up pointed at the couch. “Ok, now I will,” he said. He collapsed, reaching out with grabby hands. “Sit with me.”

Victor sighed, rubbing his face. His cheeks were bright red now. “Ok,” he said. He sat down, and Eros rose onto his knees, leaning against him. 

“This place is amazing. Wait, no. It’s too warm,” he grumbled. He tugged at his shirt. “Fuck this shirt.”

He tried to throw it at the wall, but Victor caught it. “Please, Eros, don’t strip. This is hard enough already-” Yuuri’s eyes flicked down to Victor’s pants. Oh fuck. Yuuri could feel his pulse speed up. 

“You’re hard enough already,” he said. He dropped the shirt beside him, aborting the throw so Victor wouldn’t catch his wrist again. “God, you’re amazing. And all my viewers are amazing, and you’re all the best, and I love you all,” Yuuri babbled, leaning his forehead against Aria’s cheek. He feathered his lips along the skin, feeling Aria go rigid beneath him. 

Spurred on, Eros kissed along his jaw until he reached Aria’s lips, deepening the kiss, reaching down to palm at Aria’s clothed bulge. He felt a low groan in his mouth, and the kiss turned filthy in an instant, Aria grabbing his ass and hauling him into his lap, frantic and desperate. Yuuri felt a surge of victory, a wash of alpha pheromones blanketing him and making his whole body shudder. 

Victor gasped under him, shoving him back. “Eros, gah, stop, stop,” he groaned. “We can’t. You can’t consent. Please, Eros.”

Eros tried for another kiss, but Victor pushed him onto the couch, shaking his head firmly. 

“This is so out of order,” Victor groaned, rubbing his face again. “This wasn’t what I thought would happen. Please, just lay back.”

“Then tell me what to do,” Eros gasped. “Don’t touch me. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.”  

Victor buried his face in his hands. “I’m not doing that. It wouldn’t be okay. I want you, Eros, I do, but we can’t do this now.”

Eros pouted. His eyes sparkled. “Ok then, fine. But I was going to give my viewers a show tonight, anyway.”

“Wait, Eros,” Victor started, but Eros was already leaning back on his heels, sliding his hands down his bare chest. 

“I’ve been needing this,” Eros breathed, “haven’t touched myself in days. I’m losing my mind.” His head tipped toward the phone on the wall, then toward Victor, who watched him with his jaw hanging open. “Please, watch me.”

He made it slow as he could manage, but he was feeling overeager and impulsive, and the heavy smell of alpha arousal was doing things to his head, giving him the oddest desire to please, to bend over and present himself. 

He took to his feet, swaying slightly, but steady enough, moving his touch up his thighs, brushing against his stomach, then up to where his nipples were standing erect. He rolled his thumbs over them, tipping back his head with a short gasp. He could feel Aria watching him like it was a tangible thing. 

One hand skated down, palming his erection through the too-tight jeans, popping the button open. It felt so liberating, the sudden freedom, the soft  _ zip _ of his fly coming undone. He was so hard it hurt. He scrambled out of his pants, losing the pretense of the strip tease for a moment before he recalled it. He skimmed his fingers over the waistband of his briefs, rolling his hips for the benefit of the camera and for Victor. 

Yuuri could see the blue of his eyes in the gloom of the dimly lit room, unwavering, skating appreciatively down his body. Yuuri twisted, rubbing himself through the briefs, groaning. He tugged the briefs down an inch, then wrenched them down when his patience frayed, his hand closing around his cock with a few abbreviated tugs, feeling out just how stiff he was. His erection was standing tall.

Victor had sucked his lip between his teeth by now. Yuuri’s eyelids lowered halfway, pleased. “You smell so good,” Yuuri gasped, stepping out of the briefs. He perched on the far arm of the couch, bending his knees up into the air so he was on his back, his cock erect between his legs. He pressed a finger to his entrance, grunting as he pushed it in, shuddering pleasurably as he felt the stretch. “More,” he gasped. 

His opened his eyes. Victor was visibly restraining himself. His hands were clenched, like he could hold himself onto the couch if he just held on tight enough. Yuuri pushed another finger inside and threw his head back, thrusting the fingers inside himself and jerking them back out again. His other hand closed around his cock, jerking frantically. Victor’s hand was palming over his own cock, and Yuuri made small happy noises. 

He wanted, no, needed more. He scissored himself open, curling his fingers in search of his prostate. He was so desperate. He was close already. He cried out when he found it, shoving a third finger inside and working after that spot inside of him, stimulating it brutally, until he was gasping for air. “Aria, Aria,” he cried, working himself open enough to fit in a fourth finger. “Aria, do you want me?” he gasped. 

“Fuck, yes,” Aria grunted, pulling himself out of his pants, head falling back onto the couch. Yuuri sucked in a breath when he saw the full length in Victor’s hands, swollen and hard, dripping at the tip, and he froze with his fingers shoved up inside of himself. Victor’s eyes flashed in the dim lighting. He smiled tightly, groaning as slid his fist down his length. “Like what you see?”

“Yessss,” Eros hissed, thrusting his fingers inside of him. His hips were twitching, and he fucked himself down onto the fingers. “Aaah, ah, please, Aria,” he cried. 

“Touch yourself, gorgeous, you’re so beautiful,” Victor said. His words came, halting and breathy, choked on with each thrust of his fist. “Let them see how beautiful you open up just for me. Show them how you fall apart.”

Yuuri let out a choked sob, cumming from the words before he could stop himself. Spurts of it covered his stomach, his thighs, as his body twitched under the throes of his orgasm. He fell limp onto the couch, falling back with a soft groan, head landing on Victor’s lap. His fingers were shiny and slick when he pulled them out. 

Victor breathing fast, still jerking himself off, came undone very shortly after Yuuri did. They panted on the couch, spent. 

“So,” Victor said gently. “Exhibition kink, I'm guessing?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Research time again!
> 
> Haha, I’ve never once in my life been to LA, but I did some research on the different areas. Lemme know if I got something way off the mark here. I can and will fix it. Otherwise, here's the info.
> 
> The valley is the porn capital of America (thank you sadfishwitch) It's where porn stars live and hang out, and Studio City is supposedly the most hipster of the places in the valley? I don't know, really. From what I was reading, having Victor live there makes some sense. You can google it too if you like. It's right by Universal Studios. Maybe they can go do touristy things. People like celebrity spotting, so I guess it would totally make sense for people to spot Eros, especially if they know he's in the area from his Instagram.
> 
> An AMF, or an Adios, MotherFucker, is like a Long Island Iced Tea: goes down smooth, but it’ll fuck you up. It's as blue as Victor’s eyes. It is also called a Blue Motorcycle or Electric Lemonade.
> 
> Electroswing is objectively the best genre of music. This isn't anything I actually researched, it's just something I decided I needed to recommend. Lone Digger by Caravan Palace is probably a good place to start if you're new to the genre, followed by… hmm. Lost in the Rhythm by Jamie Berry. Partyraiser by Lyre le Temps is also my jam, and if you're into the genre already, Peeping Tom (Jamie Berry), Bella Belle (Electric Swing Circus), almost the entirety of Caravan Palace's discography, and Grandpa’s Groove (Parov Stelar) are all on my masterlist. Maybe I should just compile a big Spotify playlist with everything I love. Ha.


	4. Kiss My Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How To Avoid Your Problems, an autobiography by Katsuki Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a Yuri!!! On Ice fic without a friendly visit from Yuuri’s crippling anxiety. Written with Gorillaz and more electroswing.
> 
> True facts: Yuuri is only a slut for Victor, and I am only a slut your kind words. Thanks so much <3 I love all your theories, and your kinks are all being added to my list. Nasty people. I love you all.
> 
> Also, did you guys want a bit of Phichit POV, or nah? Too late.

 

Yuuri and Victor had barely cleaned up and redressed when Phichit burst through the door. 

“Oh shit, Eros, are you okay? I'm so sorry for leaving you with Aria all night, Chris was having a crisis and I thought-” He broke off. Possibly noticing the cumstains on Victor’s trousers. Or how rumpled Yuuri’s shirt looked. Or maybe the wet stain on Yuuri’s ass from his damned slick seeping through his pants. Or maybe the smell of sex, of aroused alpha, of satisfied omega. Or the look of raw panic on Yuuri’s face. 

Yuuri shakily got to his feet and fell against Phichit, slinging his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Peach, ‘m really drunk.”

“Yes you are,” Phichit said simply. He rubbed small circles into Yuuri’s back. “You want to talk about it?” 

“No,” Yuuri mumbled. He nuzzled his face into Phichit’s neck, and the soft beta smell was calming. He let himself fall limp. 

Phichit sighed. Yuuri knew he could see it for what it was. The quiet before the storm. Yuuri could feel it too, like an edge of panic clenching at his heart, but he was at the very least aware enough to know to hold it together. He was drunk, not stupid. 

“We should probably get you back, then,” Phichit suggested. “Hey, Aria-”

Victor spoke softly. “Yeah, we should probably be heading back. Eros, are you okay?”

“Fine,” Yuuri said. Except he wasn't fine. This was a mistake. He closed his eyes. He was shaking. The party was probably over for them. “Aria, ‘m sorry I ruined your night,” he slurred quietly. 

“No, no, it's fine. You're fine,” Victor insisted. Yuuri swayed, and Phichit barely caught him, hauling him back onto his feet. Phichit eyed Victor with thinly veiled suspicion. “I swear, it's fine, Eros. Do you want to talk?” Yuuri must have looked stricken. 

“We’ll talk later,” Phichit said. “Let's get you to bed,” he directed at Yuuri. “We should find the others.”

“We’re here,” Chris said from the doorway. He was half-dressed, his shirt flung over his shoulder. Yuri stood behind him. 

“You two fucked?” he spat, sniffing the air. 

“Of course not,” Victor said. Yuuri felt a pang rip through him. “Eros is too drunk. We need to get him home.”

The night was well and truly over. 

They dropped Chris off at his boyfriend’s apartment, but Yuri was still following them when they headed back to Victor’s condo. Yuuri didn't say anything at all. 

Yuuri felt an overwhelming feeling of shame as Victor unlocked the door to his condo, wordlessly letting them inside. 

Yuri crashed on the couch. Phichit led Yuuri to his room. 

“Are you sure you don't want to talk?” Phichit asked. 

Yuuri nodded. If he opened his mouth, there was no telling what he'd say. Some combination of his new realization over the course of the night and the alcohol on his tongue, and he would end up spill his guts about every last insecurity rising up inside of him. 

Phichit deserved better. So much better. 

Yuuri couldn't even control himself. He'd thrown himself at Aria, and now his followers could all see just how desperate he was, how hopelessly needy and slutty Eros was for Aria’s cock, how a little bit of liquor could make him so eager to do anything. 

What the fuck was wrong with him?

Yuuri cried himself to sleep, Vicchan cuddled in his arms. 

In the morning, his head hurt like a motherfucker, and he felt absolutely disgusting. His legs were gross with dried slick. He stumbled into the shower. He just felt numb now. 

JizzJazz was right. He was just an omega whore after all. His chat messages waited for him to read, but he couldn't bear the thought of reliving last night. It would mean thinking about Victor’s rejection, a thought stinging deep in Yuuri’s mind, painful as wasp’s barbs. Victor didn't have to be so dismissive of the idea of fucking him, even if they both knew that Yuuri was only there for his heat and Victor’s rut, when they'd both be so blitzed out of their minds they probably wouldn't recognize themselves. 

He hid in his room, nursing a mind-splitting hangover and tacitly avoiding everyone. He could hear them outside the room making breakfast. They weren't talking much. 

There was a soft knock on the door. “Eros?” It was Phichit. Yuuri didn't respond. “Hey, I know you're awake. I heard the shower.”

“I don't want to talk,” Yuuri mumbled through the door.

The door cracked open, and something was slid inside before it closed again. “Take the painkillers. At least it'll help your head.” There were two pills on a little dish. Yuuri crawled out of bed, everything screaming in agony from moving. Even the light through the closed blinds was stabbing him viciously in the eyes. He choked them down and drained the glass of water accompanying them. 

Back in bed, he buried his face in Victor's scent and died a little more inside.

* * *

 

Phichit tried three more times to draw him out, unsuccessfully. 

“Come on. Let's take Vicchan for a walk.” Yuuri said nothing. “Eros, come on. You can't hide in there forever.”

Yuuri buried his face in his pillows. Eros was a slut. Which meant Yuuri was a slut. And fuck, hadn't he known that from the beginning? Hadn't he known that showing himself off on camera was the worst possible cry for attention? 

“Eros, please,” Phichit said. Yuuri’s chest wrenched. He tried to hold back the sobs, but all he could do was muffle them so no one could hear. 

Yuuri couldn't even get off without someone watching. Wasn't that the worst kind of slut? Someone who was so dependent on other people they couldn't even masturbate alone in their bedroom like any normal, reasonable human being? 

Phichit shouldn't even be here right now. He could be doing touristy things, having fun around LA, doing anything at all instead of knocking on Yuuri’s door every hour to make sure he hadn't thrown himself out the 6th floor window. It wasn't fair. It wasn’t fair at all. Yuuri swiped his hand over his cheeks.

“Yuuri…” Phichit said softly. “Please, if you just talk to me-” Yuuri opened the door. Phichit blinked. 

“I'm sorry,” Yuuri said quietly. “I haven't been a very good friend, have I?” This was Phichit’s vacation too, even if he wasn't the one who was going to be pounded into a bed on Wednesday. Yuuri couldn't even find the strength to blush at the thought. 

Phichit wrapped him up in a hug. “Don't even say that, Yuuri.”

Yuuri hugged him back, forcing a smile onto his face. “Don't you mean Eros?” he said gently. It was Sunday, and they had plans. 

Phichit looked a little worried still. 

“Please, I'm fine. Let's do what we came here to do,” Yuuri insisted. It wouldn't be fair at all to burden Phichit with this any further. 

“Well… okay. But we need to fix you up. You look like hell, and that's unacceptable for where we’re going. I won't allow it.” Yuuri forced a smile.

* * *

 

Yuuri did not design the trip’s itinerary. If he had, he definitely would not have decided this. 

Consciously, Yuuri knew that Aria had some semblance of a routine. He tended to skate on Sunday afternoons during open rink hours at a ice rink not too far from where he lived. Whatever other chaos and craziness he did, he always seemed to make time for this. 

Obviously Victor would still go skating, even if Yuuri was here. He just didn't think Phichit would make plans for him to go, too. 

They all went. And by all of them, that meant Chris, Chris’s boyfriend, Mila, Yuri, Yuuri, Phichit, one of Victor’s other friends named Georgi, and a whole cadre of random people who Victor was apparently friendly enough with to invite them to tag along. 

Yuuri put on his brave face. This was for work. And if Aria could be professional, so could Eros. 

“Are you sure you're alright?” Aria asked him. Chris and his boyfriend slid into the back beside Phichit before Yuuri could get anywhere near the car, leaving the front seat of the convertible open. 

Yuuri clutched close to Eros. “It's fine. I'm sorry about this morning. I was… very hung over. I'm better now.”

“Is that all?” Victor pushed. “You can talk to me about anything, Eros, I’ll understand, and I won't think any differently of you. We all do crazy things when drunk.” No. Yuuri was not talking about last night. No way in hell. 

“It's fine. I’m… I’m really glad you had more control over the situation than I did. A lot of last night is… a little fuzzy still.”

Yuuri couldn't even imagine the level of shame he'd have felt if he'd actually had sex with Victor early. On his live stream. At an admittedly very nice party, but a party all the same. Better just to pretend he didn't remember, particularly Victor’s last comment. 

Victor opened the passenger door for Yuuri. “Oh… you didn't have to-”

“I wanted to,” Victor said, smiling. “Eros, I want things to be okay between us. We need to make sure we have a good relationship before Wednesday. I think it's very important.”

Right. Work. Yuuri lifted his chin as he took a seat. This was business, and getting along was priority number one. Priority number two being making sure Aria never found out just how much of a mess Yuuri truly was. He straightened his shoulders. 

“Of course,” Eros hummed. “I should really apologize for my behavior last night.” He nodded at Chris and Phichit. Chris’s boyfriend might have been there at the party, but Yuuri genuinely couldn't recall either way. 

“You did warn us,” Victor said as he circled to his side of the car. “We should have listened. But really, it was fun. You're the life of the party, you know?” His eyes were sparkling, like he was being serious, like he actually meant Yuuri was fun to party with. 

Sure. Train wreck Eros was a blast to party with, up until he hauled off and tried to fuck his host in the middle of the club. 

“Still, it was rude of me to act like that. I know better than to just… proposition people in public, but… drunk me doesn't. I hope I didn't embarrass you.”

Victor shook his head. “Not at all! Come on, Yuri will be livid if we’re late.” His smile was too good for this world. With the convertible’s top down, at least, Yuuri didn't have to suffer being so painfully close the the smell that haunted his dreams last night. 

A sense of dread creeped up as they inched through LA traffic. Yuuri hadn't been skating since he left Hasetsu. It hurt too much to think of home, of the ice rink in his quiet town. 

Eros wasn't a thing of the ice. That was all Yuuri, all the embarrassment and failures and… Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut. Phichit put his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, giving him a meaningful glance. 

Yuuri briefly wanted to skate professionally as a child. It was something he had idly dreamed of more than once. But coaching was expensive, and Mari wanted to go to college, and then the economy took a turn for the worse, and ice skating became a lot less important, especially without a reason to fight to continue. 

At least with dance, he had a skilled instructor who was family friends with his mother, and who was more than willing to put up with Yuuri’s frequent needs to blow his anxiety on more and more runthroughs of performances. 

They reached the rink soon enough, some of Victor’s video friends setting up a bit of equipment and talking with other people at the rink about the possibility of them being recorded. It was all very professional and efficient. 

Yuuri just had to hold himself together for a few hours, skate a little and then cheer for Aria from the benches. That was all he needed to do. He was only here to reinforce that he was with Aria right now, to remind social media that this was happening. 

His glands itched, and he raked his fingers over them. Victor stiffened. Yuuri patted the scentblockers to make sure they were covered. “Sorry,” he murmured. “Forgot.”

“It's fine, it really is,” Victor said. Yuuri bit his lip. Eros shouldn't be apologizing this much. That was a Yuuri move. He needed to not be Yuuri. 

The oranges smell was getting a little stronger, and Yuuri was damned certain by now that Wednesday would be the date it all started. 

Yuuri laced on rented skates. 

“You're certain you want a toe pick?” Victor asked. The cameras pointed at him. Mostly Aria, but Victor was sitting close beside him, their arms brushing. 

Yuuri nodded. He stifled the sudden panic. Victor’s expression was soft, but it gently commanded Yuuri’s attention, and in the softness, there was genuine curiosity. “I've skated a few times before, but it's been a while. There’s an ice rink in my hometown where I grew up,” he said. He smiled fondly. “Back then, my friends and I practically lived there. We were going to be famous one day, we swore it up and down. Make it to Internationals and bring home a gold medal. But things don't work like that.”

Victor made a little sound of surprise. “You too?”

“Huh?” Yuuri asked. 

Victor smiled. “I think I was a figure skater in another life, because I've been on the ice since I was three, and I loved every second. I tried competing, did well in novices, but then my family packed up and moved out here for a job. The place we lived didn't have any rinks, and my family was so busy, we couldn't manage to continue. I took up other things to fill my time, but the time away made it impossible to ever catch up. And it’s too late now to try. No one is winning anything with doubles,” he laughed. 

“Better than I can do,” Yuuri said. “I couldn't even land my doubles, and that's when I practiced! I probably can't even do a waltz jump anymore.”

“I bet you can,” Victor said impishly. He hopped to his feet, dragging Yuuri up with him. “I'm disappointed, though,” he said.

Yuuri frowned. The nerves were creeping up again. “W-Why’s that?” 

“I was hoping you couldn't skate, so I could tow you around like those couples out there,” he said, and he was smiling again, that same smile that he gave to Vicchan, to Makkachin. Pure joy. 

Yuuri fluttered his eyelashes, feeding on the feeling of the act. “Maybe you still can.”

Victor laughed delightedly, pulling him by the wrists to the edge of the rink. His steps were smooth and sure as he stepped onto the ice, waiting by the gate for Yuuri to join him. 

Yuuri wobbled when his blade first kissed the ice. The feeling was like riding a bike, impossible to forget, but the muscles in his legs and ankles were used to different motions, and the new center of gravity from the height of the blades was disorienting. Victor steadied him, tugging him away from the entrance so they wouldn't be blocking it. 

“Don't let go?” Yuuri asked. 

“I wouldn't dream of it.”

* * *

 

Phichit watched his best friend in the whole wide world get tugged along on the ice behind Aria, Yuuri wearing the first smile Phichit had seen on his face all day. He was sure on his skates, but neither of the two paid that detail any mind. 

“Damn, is there anything Eros can't do?” Chris asked, whistling. He threw an arm around his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek. 

Phichit sighed. Check his own social media page. Jack off in an empty house. Dance onstage without taking a shot first. “Kill a spider. Play Super Smash Bros,” he said, because people didn't need to know all that other stuff. “Eros is pretty amazing. It's so strange though. He doesn't even know how amazing he is.”

“Aria is in love, you know,” Chris said. “He told me the moment he saw your Eros, he wanted to marry that boy. I told him to start with a date.”

“I wish him luck,” Phichit said. “Getting Eros to that point won't be easy.”

“Not the dating type? Love ‘em and leave ‘em?” Chris’s boyfriend asked with a chuckle. Charming man, really, Phichit really needed to catch his name. 

“You'd think that, but it's the opposite, really. I love Eros, in a completely platonic soulmates kinda way, but that boy has a screw loose. He can't believe anyone would  _ actually  _ love him. You ever get the chance, ask him how many followers he thinks he has on Instagram.”

“What does he say?” Chris asked. 

“A hundred, maybe two. Depends what he's feeling that day. You know how many he has?” Phichit asked, pulling out his phone to gauge the exact number. “56,723. On Instagram. Right now. Don't even fucking ask what his Twitter is at, that just keeps going up every damn day. I don't know if he willfully ignores it, or he literally just doesn't know.”

Phichit snapped a quick picture of the two idiots skating and uploaded it, slapping the perfect tags on it. They looked so fucking happy. And Yuuri was still going to go home and think he was a slut because he got drunk last night and almost had sex with a man who would (and did) fly him and his dog halfway across America for a fucking booty call. Yuuri was practically half a virgin still anyway, considering he’d never had sex outside of a heat. 

Those two idiots, really. Goddamned extra bastard. Goddamned self-conscious sex god. 

Phichit loved Yuuri. He really did. But sometimes it was tinged in frustration that Yuuri just couldn't see what he did to people. Yuuri could have the world eating out of the palm of his hand. He kind of did, as Eros. But that was all false confidence and an artificially inflated sense of self-worth. It wasn't confidence in himself. It was him trying not to let Phichit down, and Phichit knew it. 

“Here's a secret,” Phichit said. “I'm pretty sure Eros is in love, too. Not that he'd ever admit it, even to himself. Look at them. Is this what they mean when they talk about soulmates? Love at first sight?”

“They do look happy,” Chris said. His boyfriend beside him was nodding. 

Phichit snorted. “Get this, too,” he added, holding up his phone. “Even the Internet can see it. Everyone who watched the livestream last night, before it got a little x-rated anyway, are claiming they're dating.”

“Well, that's what we want, right?” Chris said. “Movies do things like that all the time with costars. People love to watch a steamy relationship develop and unfold.”

“I mean, I kind of hoped people would think that, but this is different. People are posting gifs and showing off their proof.” Phichit thumbed through a SFW Eros-related tumblr fan page and turned it so Chris and his boyfriend could see. Yuuri was sitting on Victor’s lap, snuggling up with him and looking as content as a kitten. Victor’s hands were settled on his waist, but there was something in the way he leaned forward, whispering something into Yuuri’s ear, something in the way Yuuri’s whole face lit up, how Victor smiled at Yuuri like he was the only thing in the world.

He flicked to another gif, this one showing them dancing, the biggest smiles on their faces as they spun through the crowded club. Another. This one was of them on the walk to the club, flashing each other seductive smirks.

The consensus was that, even if they weren’t dating yet, they would be. Very soon. Some people were getting upset. Others jealous. To Eros fans, Eros was considered extremely desirable and ‘an absolute sinnamon roll’, and people were possessive. For Aria fans, they were darkly jealous of the ‘upstart omega whore’ sweeping in from the wings. Then again, for those folks, no one would ever be good enough for Aria or for Eros. 

Some people were thrilled, because it was very clear that Eros had a thing for size, and if you wanted size, you wanted Aria, making this a match made in heaven as far as the Internet sex world was concerned. Obviously the event was going to be hot as hell no matter where you stood on the fence. 

Phichit’s new favorites, though, were the people pouring through pictures on both instagrams, piecing together an entire portrait of why they were suited for each other, connecting dots between their fondness for dance, their poodles, and any other little similarities they could find. Phichit’s people. The obsessive (in a good way) people who just  _ got it _ . The two already had the chemistry. They just needed a push. 

“Is it time to post that comment?” Chris asked. They had a different plan in place before this all happened, but in light of recent events, Phichit had thought up a new way to reveal Yuuri’s heat. Chris was going to make some kind of oblique reference to Eros’s apparent horniness in context to his heat. The MemeLord account was going to call him out. It would get deleted within minutes. 

It would be seen by everyone within an hour, tops, especially since he convinced a few trustworthy bot account runners to send one of their accounts to screengrab the post and tweet it out. Once the pot was sufficiently stirred and everyone was excited, they’d make an official announcement tomorrow morning. Maybe include a cute picture of Eros nesting once he started that up. 

“Yeah, do it now,” Phichit said. “Might deflect some of the slut comments Eros is getting right now from assholes who aren’t even following him. No one’s going to fault the guy for getting a little frisky when he’s drunk and heated around an alpha like Victor. It gives Victor a better spin, too. I’m told it’s damned hard for alphas to ignore omega smells.”

Chris’s boyfriend smiled knowingly. “You’re a manipulative thing, aren’t you? I can see why Chris calls you a little devil.”

Phichit flashed a peace sign and a winning grin. “Who, me? Nah, I’m just watching out for Eros however I can. Aria seems like a good guy. And he gets serious marks for his behavior last night, I swear to god. At the very least, Eros could use a little bit of happiness in his life. It’s been a long time since I saw him actually smile about anything other than his poodle.”

“What the fuck is going on over here?” Yuri snapped, butting his head into their secret little huddle. “I hope you don’t think you’re being secretive, because you’re not. Eros and Victor just have their heads so far up their asses right now they wouldn’t notice a fucking herd of elephants marching through the rink. And your little plan is dumb.”

Phichit glared. “Look, Yuri, I get that you hate Eros, but he’s been nothing but nice to your little punk ass since you first met. At least have the decency to let us meddle in peace. So don’t do anything to upset Eros before his heat, please. He’s been patient, but that patience goes away real fast once his pre-heat starts.”

Yuri glowered. “Kiss my ass,” he ground out. “I’m not going to do anything either way. That requires me having an opinion about all this, doesn’t it? So calm your asses, you bunch of friggen idiots.”

Yuri turned on his heel and skated away, savagely kicking up a spray of ice behind him. He was good, at least skilled enough for a 20-year-old to manage to somehow convey ‘grouchy teenager’ through body language alone. That, and without taking a spill or even looking unsteady. The camera people caught Yuri executing a delicate turn, whipping himself around to skate backwards. 

“Well, that’s enough mischief for now,” Phichit said. “Come on, Metti-man, we’ve got tweets to tweet.”

The entire exchange on twitter took about thirty minutes to pace properly, just to ensure maximum exposure before deletion, and the backup screengrab would go up in an hour, when people started getting excited. 

During that time, Yuuri had moved away from just trailing behind Victor, who had been skating backward so they could stare into each other’s eyes and talk about something or other that Phichit would have ample opportunity to read about later on the Eros fansite. Now, Yuuri and Victor were holding hands and making circles around the rink, occasionally breaking away to attempt some sort of jump or another. Victor landed his jumps better, but there was something so fluid in the way that Yuuri moved, something implicitly suited to the ice. 

“You’re planning something, aren’t you?” Chris whispered, skating up behind Phichit with his boyfriend’s hand in his. 

Phichit nodded and darted off the ice, hurrying to the music booth. Some teenaged technician with scraggly facial hair and a faceful of pimples was leaning back in a shitty chair. Good, there was someone running the music that was playing right now. “Hey,” Phichit said, startling the kid. “You got anything by DJBek in here to play next?”

The kid kicked his feet up onto the counter. “We don’t take requests,” he said. 

“Come on, please can you make an exception? It’ll be fun. Doesn’t everyone love DJBek?” Phichit flashed his best smile. How did Yuuri do it? He had this way of widening his eyes, twitching his lips up, and cocking one shoulder to achieve this sultry, innocent thing. Well, Phichit was adorable, too. He tried it, sliding twenty bucks over the counter as he did so. Kids always need cash, and this was the cheapest vacation Phichit had ever been on before. He could spare it for the good of the cause. 

“Look, I’m really sorry, I can’t,” the kid said. “The rotation’s already planned out. But... “ He tapped around on the computer. “Ok, I might be able to fit it into the next hour block, but just this once, okay?” the kid said, slipping the cash into his pocket with a glance around him, as though checking to make sure no one saw him.

“Thanks,” Phichit chirped. “Anything will do, just make sure it’s DJBek.”

The lovebirds were skating circles around each other when Phichit returned, and it was the most sickeningly cute thing Phichit had ever seen. Yuuri was holding it together really well right now. He expected a lot worse, especially given how long it took to coax Yuuri out of his room. Victor had been so worried about Yuuri, too. Victor didn’t even know Yuuri that well yet, and even he could see that something had been wrong. 

Yuuri had gotten so quiet. The flirting died, the drunken candor became a heavy silence, and Yuuri’s laughter just stopped. Phichit always did hate that part, the slow realization of what had just happened. The storm in Yuuri’s mind as his anxiety dredged up the worst possible thoughts and scenarios. It crept up, building like a swelling dam, and when it broke, it would all be released at once. 

It broke Phichit’s heart. 

At home, anxiety could be buried with other distractions. Usually, Yuuri would let it all out in online multiplayer games, and Phichit would let him settle into that naturally competitive Yuuri that made him so different from smooth-as-baby-oil, easy going Eros. But here, Yuuri took up old tactics and retreated. It was like a slide back. 

Phichit hoped Yuuri was actually okay, and not just repressing again for Phichit’s sake. 

But maybe he could be okay. Victor was doing a phenomenal job of distracting him. And maybe Chris was onto something. Maybe Victor really was in love with Eros, and if he was, maybe Phichit could convince him to fall in love with Yuuri too, because even at his worst days, Yuuri was still the most wonderful person he could imagine. Maybe a little too self-sacrificing. But good. 

The possibility of Victor actually being in love, that was something Phichit hadn’t really expected, to be honest. This only really started as Phichit trying to fulfill a dream of Yuuri’s. He never imagined Victor would take it like this. 

People got obsessed with Yuuri easily. At the very least, Eros had some rabid fans. The inner circle of loyalists were quite protective of him, and they did a good job of taking care of anyone Phichit couldn’t deal with himself, but even they still had a bit of business-like relationship with Eros. 

Victor was just a little bit different. He didn't try to pimp Yuuri out. He didn't push his little kinks onto Eros. He even stopped Yuuri before things went too far, and Phichit knew how irresistible a hungry Eros could be, especially when he knew what he wanted and was just drunk enough to relentlessly pursue it. Maybe as a camboy himself, Victor had a pretty good idea of what to do about Yuuri. 

He had to know how the masses obsessed. How it felt to be behind that camera, in way Phichit would never understand. Phichit was putting a lot of trust into this man. He sincerely hoped it wouldn't be misplaced. 

It was 45 minutes before the DJBek song came on, but you could see the instant effect it had on the rink. Victor cocked his head in surprise, catching the first few bars with a little bit of amusement. 

Yuuri lit up. Of course he did. That fucking kid picked one of the songs Yuuri had a routine to, and Phichit was going to have to give that kid another twenty for his good judgement. 

Surprisingly, even Yuri looked pleased by the song change, and that surly little asshole never smiled. Hmm. DJBek had come over to chat with them during like livestream, and they’d seemed familiar. Phichit didn't watch IceTiger’s let's plays. He couldn't exactly be sure. But they seemed to be friends. Something to consider later for blackmail purposes. 

Yuuri was sort of moving with the song. Phichit could see phantoms of the routine in his movements, but he wasn't actually dancing. Phichit frowned. Not good enough. 

Phichit cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Hey Eros, show us your stuff!” Yuuri jerked, surprised, and Chris took the cue. 

“Dance, Eros!” Chris called out. 

A little smile cracked, one that was just for Phichit, and Yuuri shyly nodded, glancing around and resituating himself as Eros. Yuuri brought his arms up and began to dance, translating moves from the dance floor to the ice as best he could. There was some graceless wobbling when things didn't convert well, but the laughter covered it up. 

People were whistling now, cheering. Yuuri was smiling. 

Chris sighed. “He really is good at everything, isn't he?”

Maybe he was. But only because Phichit made absolutely certain no one could see just how wrong a statement that could be sometimes.

* * *

 

Talking ice skating with Victor was a damned magical experience. 

Maybe Victor had forgotten last night, and Yuuri could hold onto hope that they could go a lifetime without discussing Yuuri’s sex issues. Either way, they chatted about how the season had gone, who was close to a quad, if anyone would set a new record, and all the while, they just kept making leisurely laps around the ice. 

Yuuri was almost startled when one of Victor’s friends skated close with a lowered camera, saying the stream was almost over. Had the time really passed so quickly? 

Victor laughed and signed off with a wave, his other arm curled around Yuuri’s waist to pull him close. They stopped out of the way at the edge of the rink. 

“That's it for today, then! I hope you enjoyed watching. Eros is just full of surprises, isn't he? Check out his streams and his Instagram, InnocentEros, if you want to see more, and don't forget about my annual Rut Extravaganza on Wednesday. Eros will be my very special guest this year, and we've got a few surprises up our sleeves.”

He glanced expectantly at Yuuri. Only hundreds of hours on his own streams saved Eros from freezing up. “That's right. You'll make sure you watch, won't you?” he asked. 

Aria grinned. “Thanks for tuning in, have a great start to your week, and for all you college students out there, have a great spring break. I'm AlphaAria.”

“And I'm InnocentEros,” Eros purred. Something made his head whirl. 

“See you next level!” Aria chimed. 

They wrapped quickly, and Yuuri was starting to feel dizzy. And horny, but mostly dizzy. He closed his eyes. Something smelled good. Better than good, amazing. 

He leaned into it, inhaling deeply. A whispery sigh escaped him. Ooooh there it was. Heavy and dark, rolling over him in distracting clouds. Arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him slowly off the ice.

The source was so close to his face now. He rubbed his cheek against it, and he heard a low groan, felt a flood of approval rush through the scent. Yuuri wanted it surrounding him, filling him, blanketing every pore until his own scent was smothered. 

He was sat down, and the scent moved away. Yuuri blinked, coming back to himself a bit. Victor was flushed with embarrassment and… was that arousal?

“Shit, I'm sorry, Eros, I didn't realize the scent masking soap would wear off so fast.”

“Mmm,” Yuuri hummed noncommittally. He shook his head, rubbing his temples. He was covered in Victor’s scent, and it was incredibly distracting. 

Victor dug in his bag, coming up with a can of body spray. He doused himself. The neutralizer served to mute the rich rush of pheromones, muffling it until it was clear enough for Yuuri to think straight again. 

Yuuri held his head in his hands. “Your scent got stronger,” he mumbled, trying to ignore how quickly it had overwhelmed him. 

“I stopped taking suppressants yesterday,” Victor said. “But normally it takes a little longer than this for the smell to come back. I’ll try to stay in top of my scent better,” he added meekly. “Let's hurry home. I can shower up with a stronger odor neutralizer.”

Yuuri bit his lip and nodded shakily. If that was Victor’s scent fresh off his suppressants, Yuuri was already dreading how he'd react in three days time. “Yeah, let's… do that,” he managed. 

They rounded up Phichit, dropped Chris and Chris’s boyfriend off at their apartment, and returned to the condo. Yuuri seated himself in the back, the guilt returning. 

Victor didn't exactly say it was his fault, but Yuuri knew that his hormones had to be affecting him. Just being around Victor was an inconvenience for him, and that was before Yuuri started losing control. He had to control himself. He had to stay in charge of his own emotions and mind.

His best bet would be to keep a distance in the days leading up, probably. Influence Victor less. Except, wasn't that why Yuuri was here so early? So their cycles could sync up and start around the same time? Make it easier to time the beginning of the stream?

Ugh. This was horrible. And even worse, people were certain to start talking. The whole world now knew Eros was completely desperate to fuck Aria, so did it even matter how the show turned out anymore? It would just be a train wreck, because Yuuri was involved, and-

“Eros?” Victor asked gently. 

Yuuri twitched. He was on the couch, his legs drawn up, curling up on a few pillows with Vicchan and Makkachin fighting for real estate in his lap. 

Victor was fresh from a shower, hair wet and dripping on his soft green v-neck. His neck looked so long, and Yuuri could see his scent glands, unmarked, unbitten, unmated. Yuuri wasn't going to make it. 

Victor said his name again, and Yuuri nodded. “Sorry, I didn't hear what you said.”

“I was just saying, since my rut is coming up a little quicker than I thought it would, we should probably talk and get a few things out of the way.”

Yuuri closed his eyes briefly. “Right. Sure, what did you need to talk about?” Yuuri pulled his legs in closer, making room in the pile of pillows. Please don't be about Yuuri being a humongous slut. Please don't. 

Victor sat down beside Yuuri. He patted Makkachin on the head. “The party last night,” he said. “Specifically what happened at the end.”

“O-oh,” Yuuri coughed, looking away. Fuck. Eros. Where was Eros? 

“Eros, do you have an exhibition kink? It's fine if you do, I just want to be sure, I mean, you never answered either way.” So blunt. Yuuri wheezed. 

“What- why would you-”

“Well, I wondered a little during your stream. I really started to suspect about the time you asked me to fuck you in front of everyone, but it wasn't until the end that I-”

“No! No no no,” Yuuri babbled, shaking his head. Oh god. Where was Eros? “I don't- I mean, I'm totally normal, Aria, please, don't worry- I mean-”

“Well, I just thought-”

“Ooh, I think Vicchan needs a walk,” Yuuri said quickly. He picked up Vicchan and snagged the leash.

“Wait, Eros, we should discuss kinks-”

“Bye!” Yuuri called out, ducking outside and racing to the elevator. His heart was racing. Shit. Shit shit shit. 

Aria wanted to talk about  _ kinks.  _ Yuuri couldn't take this. Wasn't it obvious that Yuuri’s only kink was having sex with Victor ASAP? Except there was that issue with Yuuri needing to be in public. And a few other unmentionables that would only make Yuuri look even worse. And that was not even including the fact that Yuuri would have done anything if it was the great legend suggesting it, because he knew best, right? He knew how to do a show. 

Yuuri sure didn't. Yuuri didn't even know how he’d gotten here except for being a male omega fuck hole for Victor to use, and- and- 

His breath came in shallow bursts. He couldn't breathe. Oh god, everything was blurry, and his eyes were hot with tears. He'd cried out one of his contact lenses. This is why he hated contacts. Where even was he? 

He'd gotten lost. Oh shit. Where was he? 

He walked faster, trying to wipe away the tears. Vicchan trotted along beside him, cheerily swishing his tail, unconcerned with the fate of the world. 

“Crap, where am I?” he muttered, doing a quick spin. He patted his pockets for his phone, hoping to at least check a map app to find his way back. 

His pockets were empty. 

He was lost, and probably going to accidentally wander into some bad part of town somehow, smelling like oranges and omega and fear, and shit, what was going to happen, Yuuri didn't even live here, he should have asked someone to go with him, except then how could he have a breakdown with someone beside him?

He wandered in a panic for longer than he could bear, growing more frantic by turns with every passing minute. He had to find his way back. Something would look familiar. 

He spotted a mop of blond hair and a leopard print jacket and almost cried. “Yuri!”

The figure paused, turning around with a confused expression. “Wait, Eros? What the fuck? Why aren't you with the old man right now?”

Yuuri was shot. He was barely holding it together as it was. He tried to keep from crying. If Yuri saw him crying, he'd probably point him in the wrong direction for the fun of it. 

“Please, Yuri, I don't really know where I am, do you think you could just… maybe point me toward Victor’s place? I… I was walking Vicchan, and I… I got turned around, and-” His eyes burned. 

Yuri was glaring irritably. “You managed to get yourself lost? How much of an-” he broke off. His expression turned sour. “Whatever. Fucking- just follow me,” he groused. He stalked away silently, slouching forward with his hands tucked in his pockets. 

Yuuri couldn't breathe still. He had to go back, but going back meant returning to Aria and talking about what had happened at the party and Aria would learn just how bad of a person Yuuri was and then he wouldn't want him anymore. Because why would he want Yuuri? Eros would be fun, a quick, playful fuck. Yuuri had emotional baggage and problems and no self-esteem and no real reason to be here.

Shit shit shit. Yuuri couldn't go back. Maybe they could stop outside, and Yuuri could just hide in the elevator until it was time for bed, he could wait it out, and hope that Phichit let him in so he could go sleep in that soft, warm bed that smelled like Victor. Because Yuuri was weak and ruined and needed that scent like a drug. And more than that-

“Damn, I can't believe how much of a shitshow that new Mass Effect is,” Yuri growled. “It's like they didn't even notice they were supposed to be trying to make a decent game. And Frostbite is a shitty game engine and you can't tell me otherwise. I don't care what people say about Dragon Age Inquisition, just fucking mocap or animate it by hand. Shit, game devs are lazy sons of bitches.”

Yuuri glanced over at Yuri. The young man was glaring ahead, yanking his hood up over his head. It had little cat ears on the top. The blond was just talking. Maybe not even to Yuuri. Just… complaining. Yuuri’s hands stopped shaking. 

“But I heard we’re getting a new Gravity Rush, so that's interesting. Might even be halfway decent. Or maybe it'll be a piece of crap too. Sequels suck. Why is it so hard to get a sequel right? It almost never happens.” He glared expectantly at Yuuri. 

He wanted an answer. 

Yuuri’s chest still shuddered a little. Words. There were words somewhere, right? “Um. I liked Kingdom Hearts II.”

“Yeah, it was okay, but they fucking changed the whole combat system entirely. Like, it's easier to use, but it's fucking too easy now. Like, do they think we’re infants? Reaction commands are neat. But they're too easy to spam. Too much ‘press triangle to win’ for me. And does BBS even understand the concept of game balance?”

“BBS had the best story, though,” Yuuri argued. “And 358/2 Days was also excellent.” 

“That's what you get when you play games for the story. You get shitty looking games with crappy combat. Beka and I argue about it all the time, though. He says story is important, too, but fuck, you see anyone complaining about a game with kickass combat and no story? No way, people love Super Smash Bros. Has more replayability.”

“You know a lot about games,” Yuuri mumbled. 

“Well, I do fucking Let’s Plays all the time, so I guess that pays for my shitty ass apartment. God I hate that apartment. Smells like goddamned dogs all the time cause it’s the only place i could afford that allows pets. Drives Sasha up the walls.” Yuri held up his phone, showing a picture of a fluffy cat. Oh. The cat was Sasha. 

Yuuri’s throat hurt to talk, but the quiet was too painful not to fill. “I sometimes play games on my show. People buy them for me, for some reason. I'm not good at them, though, usually, so it's mostly just me swearing at the screen and dying a lot.”

Yuri snorted. “What about FPS games?”

“I'm kind of okay at those,” Yuuri said, “but in general, I'm really bad at games. I think people find it funny.”

Yuri snorted. “You… you should join Beka and I on Friday. We usually play a bunch of bullshit games. He's bad too, so you can both get your asses handed to you.”

Yuuri blinked back the surprise. “Y-you want me to?” Friday was after his heat ended. He'd planned a recovery day, but gaming wouldn't be anything overwhelming. 

“You'd have to be dressed,” Yuri spat. “I bet you do your gaming half naked for some fucking stupid sex-sells kind of reason.” Yuuri flushed crimson. 

“Ah… well… Usually… I…”

“Yeah, that's what I thought. You have to wear clothes on my show.” Yuri just kept stomping, glaring at the street ahead. They walked in silence for a long minute. “Also… You should talk to Victor. He's fucking obsessed with you. It's terrifying. And he's worried about you for some reason.”

“I doubt that…” Yuuri said quietly. 

Yuri made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat. “Fuck. Don't tell me you're one of those morons who thinks my cousin is a god just because he's got a big dick. Well, newsflash, he's actually just a big moron with no shortage of self-esteem,” Yuri growled. 

His hands were moving angrily through the air, like the gesturing would somehow convey just how much stupid and how much ego were contained in one person, and that person was Victor. 

“He's not a god. He's not even that smart. Total fucking space cadet who forgets everything that isn't scheduled into his phone. You really deserve better than that moron, but you should still talk to him, because he's done this for a long time.”

You could have heard a needle drop in the ensuing pause. Yuuri went for the easiest question first. “You're Victor’s cousin?”

“Yeah. But we don't make a big deal about it. And don't try and avoid the problem cause I know you're fucking crying over there and only losers cry. He's done this for a long time, so… just maybe talk to him about what's wrong. If anyone knows, it's probably him. And you can't hide from him forever since you know you're gonna be fucking him in a few days,” he added bluntly. 

Yuri snorted under his breath. 

“Now pick up the pace. I stream with Beka in a few hours and I'm not gonna be late because your stupid poodle needed a walk.”

Yuuri could have cried. But, considering Yuri’s attitude, it would probably be best not to. He took a long, deep breath.

Yuri was right. Phichit was too, when he said the same thing this morning. Couldn't hide forever. Victor was going to have to ask about the exhibitionist thing eventually, after being slighted on an answer twice. 

Yuuri couldn't help but shake. It was only fair. Aria needed to know, if only so he could still drop Eros from his show before it was too late. Maybe it already was. 

Yuuri laughed quietly, somewhere between a sob and something that wanted desperately to be amused by the absurdity of the situation. A slutty cam boy and a Let's Play star walking a poodle and giving life advice. 

“Dogs are great,” Yuuri said. “Vicchan isn't dumb at all.”

“Cats are so much better,” Yuri hissed. “And also, if you ever mention to anyone that I was nice to you, I'll fucking kill you, okay? I know where you sleep. I can do it. I'm Russian, so I'm practically an assassin.”

Yuuri just smiled, wiping away a few tears. “Of course.”

The stone cold fear returned on the elevator ride up, but Yuri was still there, although wearing a glower as he did. “So you're definitely gonna talk to the idiot? He keeps fucking texting me every damned day. ‘Does Eros hate me?’ ‘Does Eros not like how I smell?’ ‘Does he think I don't want to have sex with him?’ God, he's thirstier than drunk you.”

Yuuri twitched. Yuri raised an eyebrow. 

“I'm not kidding. You weren't even that bad. Like, you should see Victor when he's drunk. I have never seen clothes fly off so fast. Oh, fuck. God. I don't even want to imagine the two of you drunk at the same time. No, no, that's a nightmare.” Yuri buried his face in his hands.

Vicchan licked at Yuri’s ankles, and Yuri recoiled so quickly, you would have thought he'd been burned. Yuri swore in Russian at the dog, but Vicchan just kept wagging his tail. Yuuri scooped him up, holding him close for comfort. 

“I… thank you, Yuri,” Yuuri said gently. 

“Just tell him you're excited to fuck him and get him off my back, and I'll consider us even. I don't want to hear a single word more about this, you got it? We never speak of it again.”

“Okay,” Yuuri said. He zipped his lips. “Done deal.”

Yuri left Yuuri at the door, marching back to the elevator. 

Yuuri hesitated, then rapped his knuckles softly against the door. It swung open immediately, and Yuuri found himself dragged into the biggest, tightest double hug he'd ever been involved in.

Phichit and Victor seemed hellbent on trying to out-octopus the other, until Yuuri gasped for air. “Gah. Can't breathe. Lemme go.” They loosened up only a little. 

“Eros, where did you go? We were so worried,” Phichit said, pouting indignantly. “You left your phone and everything. We were just about to send Victor out to find you.”

“That wasn't necessary,” Yuuri said gently. “I'm back, aren't I?”

“I’m so glad you're safe, zvezda,” Victor groaned, burying his face in Yuuri’s hair. A softened wave of Victor’s relieved scent washed over them, but it was muted by soaps. 

Vicchan barked from inside the hug. 

Yuuri closed his eyes. He just needed to talk to Victor. He just needed to say it.

“Victor, I-”

“I ordered dinner for us,” Victor said at the same time. Yuuri closed his mouth. He could wait until after dinner, at least. 

Yuuri nodded. “G-good. I was… getting hungry.”

“You said you didn't want greasy food the other night, so I ordered something a little healthier. Phichit said you would like it. I hope it's okay?” Victor asked, sounding… almost stressed. 

Yuuri’s omega preened. Yuuri sucked in a breath, trying to settle the conflicting mix of his omega being over the moon at the worry for his safety, for his care, and his own brain screaming at why Victor should even care at all because Yuuri so clearly didn't deserve this. 

“Thank you,” Yuuri said quietly. 

The words were right there. He could have said them now. But. At least he could wait until after dinner, let Victor enjoy one more meal before he discovered just how much of a mistake he had made bringing Yuuri here. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endgame is a confident Yuuri who knows he's only really a slut for Victor and isn't dependent on being Eros to function in society. We’re gonna work on it.
> 
> Research:
> 
> Ayyy, guess who mostly only plays TTRPG’s? I had to google new video games, then I remembered some friends bitching about Andromeda, and figured that would work. Then I had to google exactly what's wrong with that game. Yay learning new things. I don't have time for video games. Sad. Also, be nice to game devs. They work damned hard.
> 
> So. I kinda started the next part while I was editing this one? Lemme just say it's the fluffiest goddamn thing ever so far and I love it. I can't wait to show all of you. Also, all these thoughts out there on Yurio. HMMM. I wonder which of you are correct >:3


	5. Pre-heat/Pre-rut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri talk kinks. The days are counted down until the big event finally arrives. Yuuri and Victor are a mess, and the lines between Yuuri and Eros begin to blur...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fucking scenting. I didn't plan this. We’re almost there. I promise, the sex is almost here.
> 
> Also, apparently there’s another camboy fic with the same title??? Lemme know if I need to change it, because I really can. I like the name, but I can also come up with something else. I don’t want to steal from anyone.
> 
> ALSO. A reader drew the most amazing fan art of Yuuri/Eros and it’s beautiful and the drink is even blue (I really like that touch) and it's amazing. Check out Savi’s beautiful art riighhhtt here ----> notsaviforwork.tumblr.com/post/159752513103/the-duality-of-man-this-is-on-my-nsfw-blog-cause

Yuuri knew he was delaying the inevitable. He knew he had to say something. But every time the moment seemed right to mention something, he chickened out. His throat seized up, he suddenly couldn't breathe, and the wave of panic made him want to bury his head and sob.

The worst part is that Victor would glance up from his dinner ever so often and smile, like he was checking to make sure Yuuri was still there, like he couldn't quite believe Yuuri was sitting at his table eating with him.

He just had to say it. Sorry, Victor, I'm a slut. It's okay if you don't want me in your show. But saying anything at all was terrifying.

Yuuri bolted to his room after dinner, burying his face into a pile of pillows and panicking a while longer. Delaying the inevitable. He forced himself to relax.

It was nearly an hour before he stepped out of his room. He had to do this. He couldn't keep putting it off. Phichit flashed him a worried look from the couch. “Yu…”

“I'm fine,” Yuuri said. “Um. Where’s Victor?”

“He was pacing the living room and it was getting aggravating, so I sent him to his room. Heh. Get this, Eros, I sent Aria to his room like he's a little kid. Haha! This is hilarious, now that I think about it. I'm so tweeting this.”

“Please don't,” Yuuri said. “I… I think I need to talk to him. And then you. I'm sorry I've been a bad friend.”

“Well, you did worry me a whole hell of a lot when you ran off,” Phichit grumbled. “It would have been fine if you at least had your phone, so I could make sure you weren't kidnapped or something. You're a grown adult, you can leave the house when you want to. But I worry about you, you know?”

“I know,” Yuuri said. “I wish you wouldn't."

“No you don't,” Phichit said. He spread his arms, and Yuuri gave him a big hug. He pulled back with a smile.

“I'll talk to you in a bit.”

Phichit slapped his ass. “Go get him, son.”

“I'm older than you,” Yuuri snapped, but he was smiling.

Victor’s room was at the end of the hall. He could smell anxious alpha within, and felt a surge of guilt. Even if Phichit didn't notice, with betas being less sensitive to pheromones, Victor was certain to have smelled Yuuri’s anxiety halfway across the house.

Fuck. Now Yuuri felt even worse, because anxious omega was not a pleasant thing to deal with.

He knocked. “H-hey, Victor. Can we talk?”

The door swung open, revealing Victor shirtless and in pajama bottoms, his hair a little messy. The tv was on some movie Yuuri had never seen before. Victor looked surprised to see Yuuri there.

“Of course!” Victor said breathlessly. He beckoned Yuuri inside, and gestured for them to sit on the edge of the absolutely gigantic bed. The bed he'd be fucking Yuuri on. The bed they'd share Yuuri’s heat, Victor’s rut. If he hadn't been such a wreck, he'd have been rock hard. “We can talk about anything you want, Eros. Anything and everything.”

When Yuuri fell silent, Victor leaned a little closer.

“If you'd rather, I can tell you all about me. Like, I have this thing where I really like to-"

“Please! No! Just. Um,” Yuuri said, trying to settle his thoughts.

Victor didn't seem to understand. “Is this about the-”

“Please?” Yuuri said gently, and Victor fell silent immediately. “I'm sorry, just. Let me. Um. This is hard. About the… ah…”

“Exhibition kink?” Yuuri cringed, his whole body curling inward. Sure, just come right out and say it. Victor cupped Yuuri’s cheek in his palm, looking sad. “Eros. Are you ashamed of that?

Yuuri bit his lip. “Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I can't even- Oh, this is so embarrassing.”

“It doesn't have to be,” Victor said. “I can share plenty of embarrassing things with you if it will make you more comfortable.”

“No! No. That isn’t necessary. Just. Oh man,” Yuuri sighed. "Aria, you have to know that I can't even jerk off without being watched. Literally can't come. That's- that's messed up, right? I mean, that isn't normal, and I know that makes me a-”

“Oh Eros,” Victor sighed. He folded Yuuri into his arms, and Yuuri just went rigid, caught between desperately wanting to sink into his embrace and wanting to flee. “Eros, there is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. How long have you been in the business?”

“Business?” Oh, camming. “Um. About a year now.”

“That's it? You're this big and you've only been at it a year?” Victor said, pulling back to study Yuuri’s face in surprise.

“I know I'm not anything impressive-”

“No, Eros, that's mind blowing. Phichit mentioned you might minimize your accomplishments. I thought he was saying you were modest, but that's not it at all, is it?”

“It's not modesty when it's the truth. I'm just… broken,” Yuuri whispered.

“Eros. You are not broken. Just different,” Victor said. “So you like to touch yourself on camera. Very clearly, I do too. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has their own reasons for camming, and yours is plenty common. Some do it for the money, some because they're bored, and others like being seen. There's nothing wrong with that. Art isn't meant to be kept in stuffy basements and safes. It's hung and exhibited for the world to see, because beautiful things should be shared.”

“Easy for you to say, when you're one of the beautiful things,” Yuuri muttered.

“Oh, Eros, you're too sweet, but you're selling yourself far too short. Because you, my dear, are a work of incomparable beauty.”

Yuuri blushed furiously and looked away. Had his tongue always been so impossible to speak around?

“My beautiful Eros, please don't be so shy. It's the truth,” Victor insisted. His fingers stroked through Yuuri’s hair and it was incredibly distracting. “And keeping your beauty from the world would be an unimaginable cruelty. Everyone should be able to see you. I would love for everyone in the world to be able to look at you, beautiful and strong, and to make you know that this is what you are.”

Victor smiled, eyelids fluttering low. He took a slow, deep breath. Yuuri had forgotten his blockers, and he had to be stinking up the room. But Victor didn't look upset. Quite the opposite. He placed his palms on either side of Yuuri’s cheeks, cradling his face.

Yuuri could see it. Victor’s vision, the whole world watching him, and Yuuri feeling beautiful. He whimpered. Victor’s eyes closed.

“But please, Eros, if only for the next few days, would you let me be selfish, just for a little while? For your heat, I want everyone to see you and know that you're mine, that you've picked me over everyone else in the world. Because beautiful things can be kept, but still put on display where it's safe for them to be shown. And beautiful things are always safe behind a camera lens. Everyone can see you, everyone in the world, but no one can touch except for me.”

Yuuri’s breath hitched. Victor laughed, and the intensity of the moment was shot.  

“Eros, I should probably warn you, I get very possessive when I'm off my suppressants. Don't take any offense to that. Just tell me off and I'll stop.”

Yuuri was hard right now. He was not offended.

“Oh… no…” he said, shaking his head gently. “I think… that really shouldn't be a problem. I… also get that way around my heat. I won't… want to share you?” It twisted into a question, but it wasn't.

Victor flushed. And this time, Yuuri was certain, because the red in his cheeks was so beautiful.

“Oh. Well. Um. That's good. Very good, Eros. Let me know if you have things that bother you. I want you to be comfortable with me. I had planned to discuss this before, but things didn't quite work out.” He cleared his throat. “Ah. Anyway. I tend to… um. Talk about breeding?”

It was Yuuri’s turn to blush. “I know, actually. I might have watched your show before. There's not actually anything that bothers me that you do. I promise.” The flush turned a little excited. He could feel his pulse in his cock at the thought.

“Oh. You've watched before?” Victor asked in surprise.

“Y-yes,” Yuuri whispered. His fingers closed around a nearby pillow, and he pulled it into his lap.

Victor beamed. “Oh, Eros, you look nervous.”

Yuuri glanced away. “More excited than nervous, if I'm being honest,” he said gently.

“Well then. What do you like?” Victor asked. He settled into business so quickly. It was like a change came over him. “Because what you like is what's going to set this apart from every other show I've done in the past.

“With Chris, he was into switching with a focus on topping me. There was a lot of intercrural when I was on top, because frankly I scare him, and he really needed to throw me around to get me to do anything he wanted me to do. Because apparently that's how we get? Two alphas in rut was… a bit aggressive. But it was interesting, too. Like a wrestling match, almost? So, what do you like?”

Victor looked at him expectantly. “Um. Aside from being on camera?” Yuuri asked.

“Of course.” Victor wasn’t making this at all easy on him. Making him comfortable? It seemed almost like a joke, except for Victor’s genuine smile. He could at least admit to at least one very obvious thing.

“Well, ahaha. Um. Size?” Yuuri said, and his eyes flicked instinctually to the juncture of Victor’s legs. The sleep pants were soft and thin, and did nothing to hide the long, thick line of Victor’s arousal, hard and pinned to his leg by the pants. Yuuri bit his lip. Was that really because of him?

“I gathered,” Victor said, and his eyes were sparking with amusement. “In a big way, too, I've noticed.”

Yuuri wriggled, getting flustered. He forced himself to look at anything other than Victor, which proved harder than expected. He tried to distract himself with fluffing the pillows, but the silence was waiting for Yuuri to say something. “Um. Probably anything? I think, as long as it was you… it would be okay. But nothing too gross. As long as it isn't… like… blood, or piss or something.”

Victor chuckled. “That's perfectly okay. I draw that line as well. I've noticed you like praise?”

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked. He paused his pillow fluffing.

“I compliment you, and you glow. Sometimes you seem reluctant to accept it, but when you're aroused, it seems like it goes straight to your cute little cock.”

“Victor!” Yuuri cried, feeling scandalized.

“Haha, its true though! I like complimenting you. I love your reactions. Don't worry, Eros. I'll take care of you. If there's anything you want, don't hesitate to ask. Anything and everything.” Even with the playful look in his eyes, Yuuri could see the sincerity. The plea for trust.

Yuuri coughed. “Um. Okay. Please, don't be afraid to be a little rough with me, then. I won't break. I… uh… like to be filled up. Like, with toys, or um…”

“Cock? Cum?” Victor looked very interested.

Yuuri flushed and nodded, rasping out a ragged, “Y-yes. All of that. And during my heat. Um. I'm. A little bit insatiable?”

Victor nodded. “Phichit warned me on the phone-"

“Not exactly,” Yuuri said. His cheeks were very red. “Um. I've never been fully satisfied? Ever?”

Victor’s attention caught like a struck match. “Oh. Is that so?”

“That's not a challenge,” Yuuri insisted. He shoved a pillow into a more convenient location. “That's just how it is.”

“That is definitely a challenge, Eros, and I accept,” Victor said, grinning. “No marking? I'm assuming?”

“Yeah… about that. Um. Phichit said I bite. I don't know if I can restrain myself. I can try to avoid hickeys if you don't-”

“No,” Victor said a little quickly. “No, you can definitely bite. And… would it be fine then for me to leave love bites too, then?”

Yuuri closed his eyes, imagining his skin marked over with bruises mouthed into his skin, everyone in the world able to see the touches Aria left on him. He might have moaned a little. “Please do,” he gasped.

Victor’s eyes fluttered shut, appreciative of the sound. His voice was a little rougher when he spoke again. “Anything else?”

“I think that's everything,” Yuuri managed.

Victor smiled tightly. “Ok. Good. Now. I noticed you're nesting a bit. Do you want to trade rooms? Your real nest would probably be best in the place we’ll be filming, so it doesn't stress you to move.”

Yuuri froze. “Oh. Shit. I'm so sorry,” he gasped, pulling his hands close to his chest. He'd been slowly working the pillows of Victor’s bed into a more comfortable, den-like arrangement. “Did you read all that info in a book?”

“Google, actually, but yes. Apparently it's very important? I can take the guest room if it bothers you, but I must insist you take my bed,” Victor said. 

Yuuri shook his head quickly. “Oh no no, I can't take yours.” 

“I won't budge on this,” Victor said. “Plus, if I'm in the guest room, I can be surrounded by your scent while I sleep and that sounds lovely.” He smiled. 

“V-Victor!” Yuuri sputtered. Victor liked his scent. Victor wanted it surrounding him, the same way Yuuri wanted to be covered in Victor. Yuuri was going to explode. Victor smiled, like he could read Yuuri’s thoughts. 

“And if you stay here, you'll be surrounded by my scent, and I like that thought a lot more. Does the bed have enough pillows? I can get more. And blankets, too.” 

Propriety, Yuuri. “You really don't have to-”

“Can I ask you something really crazy?” Victor said suddenly. His eyes were catching on Yuuri’s mouth, and it was incredibly distracting.

“... What?” Yuuri said cautiously.

“Can I kiss you?” Victor asked. He sounded almost breathless. “You can say no. It's just, you're in my bed, Eros, and you're proving to be much more irresistible than I expected. But I thought you might prefer if I asked first.”

“Um,” Yuuri hummed, face turning even redder. Kissing Aria. Sober, this time, unlike the frantic meeting of lips at the party. “You actually want to?”

“Very much, yes,” Victor breathed.

“Oh. If you're sure… Please do, then, I would like that.” Yuuri was shaking as he leaned forward nervously. Victor met him in the middle, catching his chin between two fingers, his other hand settling on the back of Yuuri’s neck, the touch featherlight.

Yuuri really didn't know where to put his hands. He let them sit on the bedsheets, but he found them sliding forward, reaching, grasping, trying to touch. His hands found Victor’s thighs, and he let them sit there, using them to push himself a little closer.

The kiss deepened, and Victor let out a soft, pleased noise when Yuuri drew in closer. It was much more chaste than their first, but much more pleasant. The touches left Yuuri’s skin tingling, like electricity had sparked through Victor’s touch.

“You're much shyer like this,” Victor breathed. He pressed his forehead softly against Yuuri’s. Fuck. Eros, he should have been Eros, why wasn't he Eros right now?

“I'm sorry,” Yuuri panted. Excuses. He needed one. Right fucking now. “I'm just… ah. Close to preheat, and-”

Victor pecked his lips. “Relax. I think it's cute. It makes me want to wrap you up in a blanket and keep you in my bed forever and protect you from the world.” Victor blinked. “Oh, damn, I did it again. I'm sorry. I’m out of control, don't listen to me. But you get the drift right? You're very cute like this.”

Victor pulled him closer, and Yuuri found his face close to Victor’s scent gland. The soaps were thinning so slowly. And really, this close to heat, Yuuri’s omega really like the thought of being kept. Of his alpha keeping him warm and safe in bed for the rest of his life…

Yuuri twitched. His alpha? No, Victor wasn't anything except for his heat partner this time around. Yuuri sank into the scent of Victor’s sweet musk-rose-pine smell, closing his eyes. Just a heat partner. But just for now, Victor belonged to Eros.

* * *

 

They must have nodded off, because Yuuri came to the next morning with an arm around his middle and his face buried in Victor’s chest. They were curled up together on the bed amongst the pillows and sheets. 

Victor’s fingers made slow passes over Yuuri’s skin, every touch electric and perfect. Yuuri snapped awake in horror, wheeling upright and losing his footing almost as soon as he found it. He ended up sprawled on the floor beside Victor’s bed for his efforts. He was instantly awake.

“V-Victor, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” He glanced around him.

Victor was laughing softly. “Eros? What’s the matter?”

He didn’t understand. But that was good, right? If he didn’t see the problem with Yuuri sleeping in

his bed, then obviously he wasn’t mad. Unless he was mad and didn’t want to tell Yuuri because Yuuri was such an imbalanced human being that-

No. No, that wasn’t it. Victor was smiling. He was smiling and he was so, so beautiful. Yuuri’s chest hurt.

Yuuri was normal. Victor said so. And Victor was Aria, which meant he knew best, because Aria was the pro here, and Aria was vastly more experienced. Yuuri closed his eyes, trying to keep from spiraling again.

“I… I wasn’t going to sleep here. I shouldn’t have… really,” Yuuri said gently. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“But I said it was okay,” Victor said. He frowned, a little like a confused puppy. “I wanted you here.”

“Even so,” Yuuri said, glancing away, flushing.

Victor leaned a little closer. “Eros? Is everything okay?”

Yuuri rose shakily to his feet. That was right. No matter what happened from here on out, he had broken down. He had shown a glimpse of the shattered, anxious Yuuri inside, and nobody wanted to see that. No one wanted to deal with the pain of Yuuri being awful. He straightened out his shoulders and flashed Victor his most Eros smirk.

“It’s great. I’m really glad we talked last night. You were right, it was really important.” Yuuri ducked out of the room, clutching his chest the second he found himself in the safety of his room. He found a pillow and screamed into it as quietly as possible.

Of course. His bed was already half a nest as well, something subconscious inside of Yuuri grabbing the blankets and pillows and shuffling them towards a cozy little pile last night. He shook his head in disgust. No self control. Way to go, Katsuki Yuuri.

He dressed and went out to the kitchen, where Phichit laughed at him for ‘forgetting to leave Victor’s room’. Victor had been so nice to him, and he didn’t even need to be. Yuuri felt so guilty. Alpha instincts were a powerful thing, supposedly, and Yuuri had a feeling that Victor might have been just as affected by his hormones as Yuuri was.

Once this was all over, life would go back to normal, just like this was all a dream. Well, at least Yuri tended to remember his dreams. This would be one he didn’t want to forget.

Phichit had made plans for him to go shopping with Mila today, because apparently the ever-fashionable Eros was due for a few new wardrobe pieces and BabichevaBabe was famous for her shopping trips with minor internet celebrities.  

Yuuri didn't know the first thing about clothes. Luckily Mila knew he didn't, and was more than prepared to dress him up like a doll. To say Yuuri was excited would be a lie, but it got him out of the house and away from Victor for a few hours, and he really _really_ needed to take a step back or he was going to panic.

He also wanted to buy a few things for a few different people, and he was glad for the chance to find them. The trip went alright, but Yuuri was exhausted by the end of it.

He kept his Eros persona up the entire time without any slips, but the prolonged days under the act were really starting to wear on him. It didn’t help that the oranges smell was getting worse, overwhelming the usual subtle vanilla notes, and Yuuri was practically bathing in the scent masking spray he’d brought along. It didn’t even seem to help, because he’d caught a few lingering glances in some of of the stores they visited of alphas who must have smelled the heat on him.

There was also an achy distance he felt, something pulling him back to the condo. When they had finished hauling all the new shopping bags back to Victor’s condo after lunch, Yuuri wandered to a bed and fell asleep, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

He woke up an hour later to Victor cooing happily from the the doorway. “Look, Phichit, he’s in my bed! My own cute little omega! Oh, he’s so precious,” Victor squealed. Yuuri opened his eyes slowly. He was too tired for this. He closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

He woke up feeling warm and safe, unwilling to move. He lifted his head with a patient lethargy. Fingers combed through his hair and lips moved against his neck. “Go back to sleep, Phichit doesn’t need you until 3.”

Yuuri hummed and laid back down.

* * *

 

The door slammed open and Yuuri flinched awake. 

“Hope you’re decent! I’m coming in!” Chris sang.

Victor grumbled softly, sitting up behind Yuuri, his arms still looped around Yuuri’s middle. Yuuri felt a chill run down his spine. Oh god, he was in bed with Victor again. When did that even happen?

“Wakey wakey,” Chris said, flopping down onto the bed beside them. “Come on, Eros, Phichit said you’d come pole dancing with me. I’ve been looking forward to this since last week.”

Victor nudged Chris off the bed with a sleepy yawn. “Eros? Do you still want to? Or are you too tired?”

Yuuri tumbled out of the bed and popped up, heart racing. That’s right. He was still Eros. Time didn’t stop because his omega was being a lazy asshole and wanted to sleep beside Victor all day. There was still more promotion of the event to do, and Victor had his own stream to do this afternoon anyway.

“No, it would be good to go. Sorry for making you wait, Chris, I’ll go get changed. I’ll try to make it fast.”

Chris hummed happily. “Don’t worry about it, Eros. I’ll just be right here.”

For some reason, Victor almost looked… disappointed. Yuuri tried to think nothing of it, heading for his room. Phichit had packed his pole dancing clothes, of course. Not the pieces Yuuri would have picked, exactly, but most of it was similar enough. Clothes made pole dancing hard, and having exposed skin made the job of staying up much easier. 

Victor looked antsy in the living room when Yuuri came back out. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, occasionally glancing toward Chris with something inscrutable in his eyes. Phichit was channel surfing on the couch like he’d lived in Victor’s condo his entire life.

“We good to go?” Phichit asked, glancing up when Yuuri came inside. His gear was in a bag by the couch.

Yuuri nodded. Victor offered a weak smile. “Have fun!” He held his arms out hopefully. Yuuri hesitated, but then stepped into the hug, feeling a steadying wave of reassurance and joy wash over him in Victor’s scent.

“I will,” Yuuri replied. Phichit grinned at him when he stepped back.

Chris beckoned them onward. “Let’s go!”

Chris had parked his own car on the street below, a far less flashy number than Victor’s extra-as-hell pink convertible. “Oh thank god,” Phichit said. “You drive a normal car.”

“We can’t all drive sports cars,” Chris said with a knowing smile. “Soo, Eros.”

“Chris,” Yuuri said. He hopped into the back, already suspecting a conversation he wasn’t going to like. Phichit slid into the front without comment. He was fiddling with the radio as soon as the car turned on.

Chris grinned into the rearview mirror. “Have a nice nap?” he asked innocently.

Yuuri flushed and sputtered, barely reining himself in. Eros didn’t get embarrassed from a _nap_. “I did,” he replied. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason. I was just amused. You reek of Victor. It’s precious.”

Yuuri wheezed. “Well, he did scent me on the way out. For some reason…”

Chris chuckled. “You don’t spend a lot of time with alphas, do you, Eros?” Yuuri shook his head. “Oh, this will be fun.”

The stream went well, although Yuuri felt bad that he couldn’t spend much time chatting with his viewers. By the time he’d gotten through a few routines his muscles were starting to shake and his body was feeling warmer than normal. Chris had a flush on his cheeks.

“Eros, think you could apply some of that scent mask?” he asked delicately.

Eros nodded, cocking his head with a little grin. “Oh, don’t like how I smell?” he teased.

“Mmm, no, can’t say I do. Smells like me going to an early grave,” Metti teased back. “I don’t know who’d kill me first if I copped a feel somewhere I shouldn’t: my lovely beau back home, or Aria.”

“The answer to that question, Metti,” Phichit said from behind the camera, already catching Yuuri riffling through a bag for the can of spray, “is me. I would take you out so fast your head would spin.”

“You are indeed a worthy opponent,” Chris said, slapping his bare chest with an open palm.

He was dressed in just a thong, his chest waxed and hairless. Yuuri was just as hairless on his chest, but he was feeling a little self-conscious about the black curls peeking out over the top of his very low rise booty shorts. Unlike Chris, Yuuri wasn’t entirely waxed from the neck down. Sometimes Phichit convinced him to wax, but that wasn’t often because it was painful and Yuuri didn’t like the feeling.

Aria was hairless from the eyebrows down. Perfectly, completely. For No Shave November one year, he’d definitely proved that the curtains matched the carpet, but any other month of the year, there wasn’t a single hair to be found. And not for lack of trying. Yuuri remembered that November, and Victor was definitely not follicularly challenged in any regards. Not like Yuuri, who completely got away with not shaving every day. Or every week.

Would Victor expect him to wax? Although he hadn’t seemed to mind or say anything after the party.

Yuuri shook his head and polished off the last of his bottle of water. He was damned thirsty. Even before he started dancing, he was thirsty. He pushed himself through another few songs.

“Eros, you look tired. You still good to go?” Phichit asked. “Your followers are wanting to ask you some questions, too.”

Yuuri wavered. He swiped a towel over his forehead. “I might need to rest, first. I’m not usually this tired.” He scratched at the patches on his neck. They were unsightly, and he hated wearing them on stream, but with both Chris and Phichit in the room with him, it was a matter of courtesy to leave them on.

He was feeling almost hollow right now. It was funny, he couldn’t describe the feeling except as missing something. And it wasn’t the heat, or horniness, because Yuuri never felt like this in heats before. “Can I do a Q&A a little later? I think I’d like to shower. I don’t smell right.”

“You smell normal,” Phichit said. “Well, except for the heat. But even that isn’t that much different.”

Chris chuckled. “I know what’s wrong~” he cooed. “He doesn’t smell like Aria right now. He’s sweated it all off.”

Yuuri flushed. “T-That’s not it at all. That’s ridiculous.”

“Awww, Eros is blushing,” Phichit teased. “Do you want Aria to scent you again?”

“Piss off,” Yuuri grumbled, whipping out a middle finger.

Yuuri was ready to drop when they finished. “Usually he lasts longer. I guess we’ll have to do it again when he’s not so tired,” Phichit said.

“Well, it is quite hard to keep up with moi,” Chris replied, tipping his head with a smile.

They drove back, sweaty and tired. Chris rapped on the door to the condo and Victor had it open almost before he could. Phichit laughed.

“Makkachin and Vicchan gave me a heads up,” he explained, stepping back so they could come inside. He stiffened as Yuuri walked past.

“Something wrong?” Yuuri asked.

“Nothing,” Victor coughed. His fingers were clenched, and he was looking away. He turned back and abruptly tackle-hugged Yuuri, rubbing his scent glands up against Yuuri to cover him. Yuuri yelped in surprise. Victor smelled wrong too.

“Haha, damn, he’s got no chill,” Phichit laughed.

It had taken Yuuri by surprise, but the hollowness went away, the achy, distant feeling vanished with the waves of scent, and Yuuri purred happily, nuzzling him back, blanketing Victor in his own scent. The smells mingling together just seemed so right.

“Oh, I didn’t expect that,” Phichit said. “I legit thought Eros was gonna shove him away or something.”

“Nope,” Chris said, looking smug. “You don’t spend much time around alphas either, do you? We had fun, by the way, Victor. Your little Eros is very impressive.” He rested a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. A low, rumbling sound ripped from deep in Victor’s chest, his lips pulling back in a snarl.

Yuuri froze. “What… was that?”

Victor paused. “Oh. Fuck. Sorry, Chris, that was… way out of line.”

Chris laughed airily. “It’s fine. I just enjoy poking you with a stick, Victor.” Yuuri noticed Victor hadn’t let him go yet. And strangely, he almost didn’t want him to. It was so comforting, having Victor around him. Why would he want to shove him away?

“So, Eros, do you still want to do a Q&A with your followers?” Phichit asked.

Yuuri hummed, rubbing against Victor again. “I should. I haven’t talked to them in a while, and I’m going to be... incapacitated for a while. It would only be polite.”

“Eros is so nice to his fans,” Victor purred. “Can I sit with you? Are you going to strip for them? Can I watch?”

“I don’t think there’ll be much stripping,” Yuuri admitted. “I’m a bit tired. But… if you want to sit beside me, I don’t mind. Just let me shower first, I’m all sweaty.”

“Ooooh, but I don’t want you to leave,” Victor hummed, squeezing Yuuri tighter. “Let’s shower together so I don’t have to let you go.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Yuuri said, laughing at Victor’s joke. “I’ll be quick.”

Chris smiled. “Thanks for dancing with me, Eros, it's been awhile since I had a partner like that. My beau doesn't like being on camera if he can avoid it, although he's every bit as stunning as you, don't get me wrong. Just a fair shade more camera shy.”

“Not a problem. Have a nice night, Chris,” Yuuri said.

Victor and Phichit added their own goodbyes. Yuuri pulled himself free of Victor’s octopus embrace and hopped into the shower, cleaning off all the sweat and traces of slick creeping down his thighs from Victor’s scent.

He slicked back his hair again with a bit of gel and dabbed a bit of eyeliner back on. Nothing as fabulous as what Phichit could pull off, but it really distracted from his real self. Yuuri would never wear eyeliner like Eros did.

Phichit was getting everything set up in the living room. Victor was sitting back on the couch, playing the role of model so Phichit could adjust the focus and lighting.

“How soon can we start?” Yuuri asked. Phichit moved back to his computer, fiddling with settings and what not.

“I'm having issues with the connection. As soon as I can figure out what's up, we can start right away.”

Yuuri nodded. “Ok, I'm going to grab a blanket. I'm feeling kind of cold.”

“I'll get it! Do you need anything else?” Victor asked, hopping up immediately to his feet.

“Oh, no, you don't have to-"

Phichit grinned. “He was thirsty earlier. He needs to be hydrated for his heat.”

Victor nodded. “Understood. I've got the perfect thing. Be right back!” Victor darted away with a smile.

Yuuri watched him go. “What? What just happened?”

“He wants to take care of you. It's so cute I'm going to die,” Phichit said. “Oh. Look. There we go. Sit down, let's get started. No time to lose.”

“Right,” Yuuri said. He fluffed up the couch pillows, settling them in a loose ring around himself. Victor’s couch was already a comfortable thing, modern with a touch of extra cushioning, and the pillows made it an absolute dream.

Almost as soon as he sat down, Makkachin and Vicchan scrambled into his lap. He smiled down at them. Phichit hit a few keys, counting down on his fingers from 3. When the fingers were all gone, he pointed at Yuuri. ‘Go’.  

“Good afternoon, everyone,” Eros purred to the camera. “Sorry I wasn't able to answer your questions earlier. Vacations are exhausting. But I'm here now. I'll give a few minutes for people to log on before we get started, just so we can save on having to go back over things for those who were… late to the party.”

There were a few greetings from a few usernames he didn't recognize, and a few from those he did. A blanked fluttered over his head, settling on his lap over Vicchan and Makkachin. “Oh, thank you, Aria,” he said.

“It was nothing,” Aria replied. He pressed a swift kiss to Yuuri’s temple and tucked the blanket corners in, passing him a bottle of some orange drink with a colorful label. He sat down, fitting himself beside Yuuri in the little pile of pillows. Makkachin wriggled to sit herself on his lap. “Has the stream started yet?”

“It just did,” Yuuri said. He studied the drink’s label as Victor leaned against him. “What's this?”

“Something I saw at the store. I didn't know if you'd like it or not, but I went ahead and got it anyway. It's got tropical fruits in it. Mango, pineapple. If you don't like it, I grabbed some other flavors, and I've got water.”

Yuuri glanced at the label. “I'll try it.” He grinned. “Doesn't pineapple make your cum taste good? Don't tell me you're trying to sweeten me up.”

Victor laughed and wagged his eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe we should do some before and after tests. For science, of course.”

“What, like start right now? Aria, my viewers have more respect for me than that,” Yuuri said, faking a scandalized tone.

“As they should. Just an offer, of course,” Aria replied, smirking. “I would love to taste you, find out if you're sweet before the pineapple, if you need it at all…”

Yuuri laughed and cracked it open, making a pleased sound at the taste. “Ooh, this is good.”

“Mmm, I'm glad you like it,” Aria purred, tugging Yuuri a little closer so he could scent him.

Phichit laughed. “Jesus, you two are so fucking domestic right now, I can't even believe you've only known each other for four days. Hormones are a damned powerful thing. Yeah, I agree, OG-Dom.”

“What did he say?” Yuuri asked, scanning the widescreen television they'd hooked up to display the chat log.

“Maybe if you weren't so busy scenting Aria, you'd know,” Phichit teased. Yuuri frowned, making Phichit laugh harder. “Just mentioned that he didn't think you'd like the whole ‘doted on’ thing so much.”

“Aria doesn't-”

“Of course I would dote on Eros,” Aria scoffed, like thinking anything else was heresy. “I don't want him kicking me out of his nest.”

Eros glared. “That's not- you really don't-”. Yuuri settled a little deeper into the couch nest with an indignant huff.

 **> >OG-Dom: **So you're in heat after all?

 **> >OG-Dom:** No offense, just legit thought that was a publicity thing

“Not heat yet,” Yuuri reported. “But it’ll be Wednesday. It's part of why Aria’s Rut Extravaganza is taking place in the middle of the week this time. He holds it on Fridays, usually, but I suppose the benefit of being an alpha is getting to control when you leave off your suppressants?”

“A definite perk,” Aria said with a tight smile. “I think I remember you from Eros’s stream. Weren't you the one who supported me?”

 **> >OG-Dom:** Oh christ that was actually you?

 **> >OG-Dom:** We all thought it was a fake messing with us

“Aria was just inspecting the goods,” Phichit said. “And the goods were _good_.”

“You're the worst,” Eros hummed. “I will never trust you again.”

“You know you love me, babe,” Phichit laughed. Victor hummed quietly as more messages appeared.

 **> >CandyMan:** Eros! I hear you're in Cali! How's it treating you??

 **> >CandyMan:** Aria better be treating you right or he's got hell to pay

 **> >CandyMan: ***cracks knuckles*

Yuuri chuckled. “There's no need to worry about me,” he said. “Aria has been a perfect gentleman, just like he promised.” Beside him, Victor beamed.

 **> >CandyMan:** I still can't believe he didn't fuck you at that party. I would have. You were begging so pretty

Yuuri resisted cringing. “Well. Alcohol does give me some bad ideas about right and wrong. I'm lucky Aria was sober enough to take care of me.”

Play up the helpless omega. Helpless omegas weren't sluts. They were helpless. It was in the name. His hands shook, and he petted Vicchan to distract himself.

“And protect your precious innocence?” Phichit asked, because he was a little shit and Yuuri was going to kill him after the show. No. Wait. This was good. Sluts weren't innocent. Right.

Yuuri smiled teasingly. “Well, we both know how disappointed Cherriboyhunter and BigDickDaddy would be if they didn't get to see my first time.”

Technically not a lie. They would be disappointed. They didn't have to know it wasn't.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **my little cutie knows me so well <3

 **> >Cherriboyhunter: **eros, you spoil us

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **cutie, gotta ask. is he big enough 4 u? gotta fill you up good 4 ur heat

Yuuri heard Victor laugh.

 **> >CandyMan:** wait BDD, you don't know Aria???

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **i only watch eros <3 y does it matter?

“They're worried about you,” Victor cooed, stroking his hands down Yuuri’s arms. Each pass left faint trails of scent behind, dizzying and heady.

“They don't need to,” Eros said, flashing a smirk at the camera.

The chat was spammed with a few screenshots from Aria’s streams. One of them was one Yuuri hadn't seen. He made a mental note to get it off the chat later. In all of them, Aria was in various poses, all of which showed off his long, thick cock standing tall and proud in its full glory.

Eros shivered. Aria must have noticed, because his lips moved to the shell of Yuuri’s ear. “Excited, are we?”

“What would give you that idea?”

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **what did I miss

“Eros having dirty thoughts,” Phichit answered without hesitation.

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** omg Eros I'm so insulted right now

 **> >Stargirllxxx: **I've been tweeting you for days after that party

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** and all I get

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** is your adorable little ass skating and dancing

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** like are you okay??

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** cause as hot as that little mutual was on Saturday, you were super freaking out after that

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** and you didn't sign off or anything

Yuuri’s heart clenched. Was it so obvious? He gave a dazzling smile. “I'm sorry if I worried you, Stargirl. I'm a-ok. Bad reaction to alcohol. This is why you shouldn't drink, kids. Let me be a lesson to you.”

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **Dude cause my sister has, like, hardcore anxiety and refuses to talk about it and you're acting just like her

Yuuri’s smile was plastic. “Really, Stargirl, you're worried over nothing.”

 **> >CandyMan: **Yeah, star, the kid’s fine

 **> >OG-Dom:** memelord would tell us if something was up. he's got all the eros news

Soft waves of alpha scent drifted over him, blocking things out, making his head fuzz. Phichit retched. “Shit, Aria, I can smell you from here. I think Eros smells like you. You don't have to keep doing that.”

“No, no, he's fine,” Eros hummed, curling his fingers into Vicchan’s fur. His eyes fluttered tiredly. Everything felt itchy and hot. He kicked the blanket off. “Trust me. Things are just fine.”

Victor made a little noise in the back of his throat, but whatever it was, it didn't seem too important. Yuuri snuggled in closer.

 **> >CandyMan:** how long are you planning on being in Cali with Aria? You should come north a bit and hang with me ;)

“I can't stay forever, sorry,” Yuuri said. “Once I'm finished here, I'll have to get back.”

He fielded questions for a while, and when he was finished, he signed off. It had been such a long day. But for some reason, his followers really wanted to know about what was going on.

There was another chat somewhere, populated by a few people who didn't want to or couldn't afford to pay for the chat Eros would see, and Phichit even fielded a few questions from them, tutting as he read through the messages. 

He didn't show Yuuri the comments. Yuuri assumed that meant he probably didn't want to see them. As long as he couldn't see the comments, it was easier to pretend that they weren't all about his horrible behavior, even if he knew most of them were.

Life went on. Yuuri managed to hold himself together the rest of the time. They ate dinner. Yuuri was deflecting a little again, but it wasn't so bad this time. Just pretending the whole world didn't  watch him lose control on Saturday.

The worst part was the feeling of dependence. It was all hormones and pheromones, but Yuuri hated being out of arm’s reach of Victor. He loved how Victor doted on him, how Victor kept looking at him like looking away was an impossible task.

It made him feel so alive. So of course, it made him feel guilty. Once this ended, Yuuri couldn't imagine ever going back.

At night, Yuuri saw Victor heading to the guest room, leaving the master bedroom open for Yuuri, and he felt a ripple of irresistible longing.

Yuuri flushed. Eros. He could do this. “Um,” he said, gently clearing his throat. “You don't have to sleep there.”

“It's alright, Eros,” Victor said. “I did say the bed is yours.”

“I know that…” Yuuri said. He cleared his throat. “But I thought. Well… we could always share? Like we have before. I mean, only if you want to of course-”

“I would love to,” Victor gasped.

“Just for sleeping, though! I… feel better with you nearby. My heat, I mean…” Yuuri stumbled through excuses, but Victor was already squeezing him into a hug.

“Of course, Eros, I get it completely.”

* * *

 

In the morning, Yuuri felt _disgusting_. He felt hot, itchy, gross, and the thought of leaving the bed made his head whirl.

He groaned as chilly fingers skated along his arms, pleasant and cooling. Aria touching him.

“Nooo,” he huffed. “Don't touch. ‘M gross.”

The fingers pulled back, and he moved instinctively to chase the touch. Behind him, Victor laughed and resumed skimming his fingers. “Your skin is feverish. Maybe a cool shower?” Yuuri made small, dissatisfied sound. “What do you want, Eros? I can't give you what you want if you don't tell me.”

Yuuri grumbled quietly, wriggling closer to Victor. What did he want? Touch, that was one thing. Closer. He wanted to be closer.

“Mmph,” he grumbled, pasting himself to Victor’s side. He felt Victor’s breath blow cool over his face. Ooooh. Yes. That was right. He scrambled on top of Aria, hungry, needing contact. Their lips met and Yuuri groaned, startled by the shock and the feverish desperation.

Victor’s hands were grasping, pulling. Yuuri straddled him for better access. It was dizzying, a lighter than air sensation that left his head whirling, breathless. They made out like horny teenagers, all frenetic passion and youthful inexperience that Yuuri had never gotten out in high school like normal people. Their teeth clattered, and Yuuri might have bitten Victor’s lip by accident. But Victor just groaned and yanked him into his lap, desperate for more.

They kissed for long enough to leave Yuuri gasping for air, until he had to break apart and bow his head, chest heaving.

“Eros,” Victor sighed. Just the sound of the name made chills race up Yuuri’s spine. “That was some wake up call.”

Yuuri’s cheeks were flushed, and Victor's weren't any better when Yuuri finally opened his eyes.

Damn, Eros had a serious problem this morning. Barely awake for five minutes and he started making out like a desperate horny teenager. Fucking hormones.

“I think I need a shower,” he gasped. He stumbled out of bed. A cold shower. A very cold shower.

Victor hummed. “Mmm, use mine, zvezda.”

Yuuri stumbled into the pointed bathroom, more than a little out of it. The world had a bit of a fuzziness to it. It was really hard to think.

The bathroom was massive. Even as half-aware as he was, he stopped dead in his tracks.

The guest bathroom had been normal, if a little large. Apparently the inherent ‘bigness’ of Aria wasn't just related to his bed and his dick. The master bath was as big as Yuuri’s bedroom back home, complete with a very large bathtub, equally large shower, and huge mirror set up above an immaculate counter strewn with a large collection of personal grooming products.

Yuuri sputtered. He turned to stick his head out, about to ask Victor why his bathroom was so over the top, when he froze.

He heard soft, fluttery moans.

He cracked the door. Just beyond, Victor had tugged his pants down and was slicking his hand up and down his cock, a bit of lube glistening between his fingers. It was hard to tell without glasses or contacts in, but it looked like he was biting his lip.

Yuuri watched as Victor’s head fell back. Something in Yuuri’s heart ached just to see it: Aria in all his glory, reclining in the pillows Yuuri had arranged so specifically, cozy and warm in Yuuri’s nest, comfortable enough to pleasure himself. Victor’s eyes fluttered and he rolled his fingers up along the head and brought his hand down, stroking gently. The other hand rolled between his balls and the soft, fleshy swell of his uninflated knot.

“Eros,” Victor breathed, grunting as he jerked off a little harder. He was big enough that his thumb and middle finger didn't touch, didn't even come close. His back arched up, beautiful and perfect, lost in the sensations.

In Aria’s shows, he growled, talked dirty, made the most delicious noises. But now, here, in the privacy of his bed, he muted himself, holding back his gasps and cries, everything that wasn't a call for his omega.

“Eros, Eros,” he repeated, reverent as a prayer, and Yuuri was transfixed.

“Eros,” he sang, like the most hypnotic song Yuuri had ever heard.

“Eros,” with every downstroke of his hand, head thrown back, burying his face in the pillows where Yuuri had slept the night before.

There was no computer screen between them now, no distractions of chat windows or other viewers trying to insert their own fantasies over the top. It was just Aria, just flawless, perfect Aria, moaning out for Eros like a devout.

At the party, it had been tinged with desperation, a frantic need to get off as quick as possible. But now, Aria was taking himself apart in his own hands, and he was doing it in Eros’s name. Aria rolled his hips, pitching them up, thrusting into his palm like he was imagining Yuuri there, picturing Eros taking every inch of him inside.

Everything felt impossibly hotter, Yuuri’s skin more feverish, his thighs sliding, slick and hot and wet. Yuuri sucked his lip between his teeth and barely kept from whimpering.

His alpha was thinking of him, releasing these heavy waves of arousal while crying out for him. Almost too soon, the hand jolted, the pace stuttering. Aria choked on his words, shuddering into soft gasps as he spilled onto his bare stomach.

Yuuri sprinted into the shower, wrenching the lever to ice cold, burying his face in his hands.

He couldn't believe he'd just witnessed that. And even so, even with the water running in freezing streams down his back in that too-big shower, Yuuri could feel his heart racing with fervent need.

The fog didn't really fade during the shower, just took a bit of the edge off and made Yuuri’s erection die down. His balls ached from the lack of release. It was fine, he'd be getting plenty of that tomorrow.

When Yuuri stumbled back into the bedroom, a towel around his waist, Victor was gone, and a washcloth discarded in the corner smelled suspiciously of Victor’s release. Yuuri glanced around. It smelled so much like Victor in here. That was good. Yuuri liked that smell. He wanted it around him, comforting and close. The shower had left his skin spotless and clean, but still hot.

Yuuri found a black dress shirt discarded on the back of a chair and sniffed it. Victor. He slipped it on and headed to his own room, grabbing a pair of briefs. The thought of anything else on his skin made him feel sick. He tipped back his head, sniffing the air.

Victor smelled happy, content in the kitchen next to the smell of happy Phichit and sausage and eggs in a skillet.

Yuuri padded into the kitchen. Phichit was humming as he threw bread into the toaster, and Victor was poking at the contents of a skillet on the stove.

Victor glanced up immediately when Yuuri walked in. “Morning,” Yuuri yawned. Everything was blurry. Fuck. He was so blind. He should put contacts in. He really didn't want to. He felt slightly nauseous.

“Eros!” Victor squealed, sounding delighted. He abandoned the skillet to fold Yuuri into a hug, nuzzling him and drowning him in his scent. “Oh wow, I didn't notice earlier. You smell so amazing.”

Yuuri hummed and scented him back, rubbing his wrists delicately against Victor’s shirt. He felt pliant, almost like a posable doll. “Sit sit,” Victor said, ushering him into a chair. Yuuri sat, tugging at the shirt. “Mmm, ‘s hot,” he mumbled unhappily. Phichit roared with laughter.

“Hey there, buddy. Soooo, how you feelin’?” Phichit asked, grinning.

“Like shit,” Yuuri groaned. He dropped his head into his arms.

“Yup. He's hit preheat,” Phichit announced. “Be prepared.”

“What does that even mean?” Yuuri grumbled, shooting Phichit a stink eye.

“It means you're super pleasant to be around right now,” Phichit chirped, sliding a plate of food in front of him. Yuuri made a nauseous sound. “You gotta finish it. You won't be eating a whole lot of anything the next few days. Heh. Except for Victor’s-”

“Phichit,” Yuuri groaned. Victor sat beside him, pressing a kiss to his head. Yuuri hummed happily.

Phichit studied him for a long moment, and then whispered something in Victor’s ear. Victor cocked his head. His brow furrowed.

“You're sure?”

“Just try it,” Phichit said. He gave Victor a meaningful look.

Victor rubbed a few gentle circles into Yuuri’s back. “Zvezda, can you eat for me?”

Yuuri frowned. “‘M not hungry.”

“Just a few bites?” Victor offered a forkful of sausage and egg. Yuuri eyed it with distaste. Victor offered it again. Yuuri reluctantly opened his mouth, letting Victor feed him. He chewed quietly and accepted another.

Yuuri glared at Phichit, who had his phone up in a suspiciously photographic position. But then there was another bite leveled near his lips, and Victor’s encouraging smile, and Yuuri opened his mouth again. Yuuri slouched against Victor when his plate was clear, waiting for Victor to finish eating his own breakfast.

“So what are we doing?” Victor asked. “You left today open when we were planning.”

“We do nothing. I mean, you might be able to do something. I could probably do something. But Eros is doing nothing.”

“Why?” Victor asked, looking confused.

Phichit chuckled. “Eros. Want to go shopping today?”

“Piss off,” Yuuri mumbled into his arms.

“That's why,” Phichit said, stealing the toast off of Yuuri’s plate. He chewed the crust thoughtfully. “Although… Hmm. Eros? Want to do anything today?”

“Sleep,” Yuuri managed. Anything more was going to make him lose his breakfast on the floor. Was he always so dizzy? He nuzzled into Victor’s side.

“Thought so. He's super pleasant, isn't he? Don't worry, he always cheers back up.”

“I think he's adorable,” Victor cooed. “He's so grouchy.”

“Not grouchy,” Yuuri pouted, burying his face in Victor's neck. He kissed the pulse there, savoring the flutter of motion under his lips. Victor thought he was cute. He smiled.

It was nice, until Phichit came over to claim Yuuri’s mostly empty plate. His hand got within a few feet of Yuuri, and Victor snarled. He looked promptly abashed, but it was too late. Yuuri groaned happily.

Phichit howled with laughter. “Chris was right. Alphas are so easy to rile up.”

Victor looked mildly flustered. “I'm sorry, Phichit, I don't know what-”

Yuuri quieted his protests with a hungry kiss. Victor was frozen with surprise, unresponsive for a long moment, before he eagerly responded in kind. Phichit wolf-whistled. Yuuri laid against Victor, satisfied that his alpha was looking out for him.

“Don't mind me,” Phichit said. “Oh wait. That's right, you don't. You jack off in front of me all the time.” 

Yuuri snorted.

“You know, if pouty Eros is this eager, I am so excited to see him tomorrow,” Phichit said. “I'm fucking tweeting this. Aria growls at me for getting near Eros, and Eros responds by kissing the ever loving shit out of him. I'm so unloved,” he sighed dramatically.

“Let's go to the living room, yes?” Victor asked Yuuri gently. Yuuri nodded. That sounded like a good idea.

In the living room, they turned on a movie.

Yuuri tried to be attentive. He really did. But everything was fuzzy and blurry, and not just because of the low haze at the back of his mind.

“Mmm… can't see shit,” he grumbled. “Phichit… could you get my glasses?”

“You don't want contacts?” Phichit asked, looking surprised.

“Hurt my eyes,” Yuuri mumbled. “Please?”

Phichit hesitated. “If you're sure…?” Yuuri nodded, and Phichit came back with the glasses. Yuuri plopped them on his nose with a satisfied huff.

“Thanks, Phichit.”

Victor cooed and kissed him, proclaiming him to be the ‘cutest ever’.

They ended up only half paying attention to the movie, alternating between watching, making out, and scenting heavily until Phichit swore at them for stinking up the place.

Yuuri was needy and feverish, and Victor responded in kind, growling at anyone who came by and becoming even touchier than before.

Because people came by. Many of them. Phichit was in and out of the room, chatting with people who were planning on working the show. Yuuri only paid half a mind to it. It seemed they were used to Victor taking a hands-off approach the day before.

He made most of his preparations weeks in advance, so when it came time for the main event, it was a process of just following through with everything he had put together. Which was good, because Yuuri didn't want to let him off the couch, and Victor didn't seem remotely inclined to move.

Yuri came by later in the day, gagging as he walked in. “Holy crap, it reeks.”

“Tell me about it,” Phichit said. “Even I can smell it. They've toned it down a bit, at least.”

Yuuri grumbled unhappily. Victor shifted to press kisses into his hair. He growled when Yuri walked past, and Yuri growled back, stifling a snort of laughter. “I'm giving Victor so much shit about this when he's sane again. He never growls.” Yuuri purred contentedly, shooting a low glare at Yuri. “Ok, even Eros is giving me the stink eye.”

“Yeah, they've been doing that all day. I’d separate them, but I think it would just make it worse?” Phichit said.

“These two are a mess,” Yuri scoffed. “I've got work to do here. Make sure they don't have sex on the couch until after I leave.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Phichit said. “I'm just starting to wonder how we’re going to kick this off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, bonding is a thing in this world, but considering they're both doing this for business, even though they're obviously meant to be together forever, the idea of permanently bonding yourself to what is effectively your coworker is a non issue. For now. They wouldn't even consider it, it's like what married couples do. I mean, Victor is totally thinking it, but he's not that extra.
> 
> I have nothing against omorashi, and I don't kinkshame out of personal opinion, but I kinda think it's one of those niche things that can probably stay in other fics. Blood kinda bothers me a bit, but I also write fantasy violence and hold nothing back, so *shrug* Just drawing a few lines because drawing lines is a good thing to do. Even if you're going to be in a hyper sexual state where every single kink sounds like a damn good idea, gotta have boundaries. 
> 
> SMUT IN NEXT CHAPTER I PROMISE SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. *apologetic bowing* ily all <3


	6. The Rut Extravaganza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 24 hours and 9,000 words of sin and filth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see… who ordered the steaming hot plate of pure sin? Ah yes. All of you. Here you are. Ask and you shall receive.
> 
> Thanks so much for all your comments and bookmarks and kudos and just. Ugh. I appreciate it so much <3333
> 
> It starts a little awkward, but let's be honest, it's their first time with each other. It makes sense for the first round or two to be a little awkward as they find their groove :)

 

 

It was cozy and warm, but a little bright. It was fine. Yuuri wasn't fully asleep. 

His body was blisteringly hot, but Victor’s touch was cooling, even as Yuuri’s skin crawled and itched. Victor’s scent was the only thing keeping him in place. Yuuri squirmed. It was so hot. Bleh. 

People moved around the bed, speaking in muted tones. Most of them were betas like Phichit, giving off softened smells of impatience and excitement for the show to come. Their scents wouldn't be distracting when the time came. Phichit was just finishing talking with a cameraman about angles and butt shots. Others were fussing with lights. A clatter of computer keys near the door said everything was almost set. 

“-and I'll be nearby as much as possible. Hopefully nothing happens if I have to step away, but even if I do, I'll be in the room next door, so just come and get me-” Phichit was saying. 

On the other end of the room, Chris was speaking with the man at the computer. “-and after that, we can get the delayed showing of the stream started at the 12 hour mark. Last year, viewers were disappointed about scheduling from a timezone position, so this is a good chance for people to make sure they're able to catch all the best parts-”

“Yeah, I'll be out of here before it starts,” Yuri said into his phone. “Fuck no, I'm not hanging around. Anyway, I've got to bring their mutts to my apartment. For as much as Victor’s paying me to babysit? Hell yeah I'm watching them. But if the little one upsets Sasha, he's going to your place, Beka-”

Yuuri hummed, squirming again. Everything was so hot…

Victor’s breath whispered over his skin. His scent had been shifting slowly over the course of the morning. Time bled in and out, hazy and indistinct. 

Victor breathed in deep. He stirred, and Yuuri hummed, hating the loss of skin to skin contact. They were both nude. Yuuri couldn't even bring himself to mind, laid out in his nest on Victor’s bed. Clothing seemed like a terrible idea anyway. Restrictive, sweltering. Victor held Yuuri in his arms, nose pressed against Yuuri’s scent glands, but now he was rising up slightly. 

“It's almost time,” Victor reported sleepily to the cluster of camera-wielding betas. He must have smelled it, the subtle shift Yuuri felt under his skin. 

Yuuri could hear the smile in Chris’s voice. “Excellent. Don't forget to have fun. Now. Cue the intro.”

It was prerecorded. Because there would be no focusing long enough to get out a few lines of dialogue. Victor set a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, giving him a few soft shakes. His lips fluttered along Yuuri’s arm. 

“Zvezda, how do you feel?”

Yuuri groaned, turning over. He opened his eyes. Victor’s mouth shaped words above him, but the meaning started to fall away. Victor’s lips were a little on the thinner side, straight and perfectly bowed. Yuuri remembered kissing them. 

He remembered the scent, heavy and thick, coating his skin now. His partner. Strong, beautiful, with a rich tang of dominance coloring his scent. Something inside of him coiled tight. Drew taught. A cord pulled to its greatest extent, ready to snap. 

“Alpha,” he murmured, gazing up at the figure above him. Aria. Alpha Aria. The name echoed distantly through his mind, like a near-forgotten memory. How many heats had he imagined this face looking down at him?

A soft burst of breath brushed coolly across his face. His alpha smiled. The cord snapped. 

Eros twitched up, burying his fingers in the soft silvery hair of his alpha and pulling him down, yanking him into a feverish, desperate kiss. He felt himself be cradled and tugged upright. This was a better position, and he let Aria guide him up into his lap, their chests flush. 

Eros groaned into the kiss. He needed it. He needed it so desperately, so hungrily. It wasn't close enough. He licked and nipped at Aria’s lips, and found them split open, cool air rushing into his mouth as his alpha kissed him back. 

Hands slid down his sides, gentle, almost worshipful. Aria was unhurried as he kissed, a stark contrast to Eros’s eagerness. It was perfect, and it wasn't enough in the least. His breath caught as hands cupped his ass. 

Oh. That explained the emptiness. 

“Aria…” he groaned. Aria kneaded at his rear with a cheeky grin. He tilted back his hips, pushing himself deeper into Aria’s touch. “More. Want you in me…”

“Are you sure?” Aria asked playfully. Yuuri growled and caught one of the hands, sliding it against the cleft of his ass until the fingers brushed against his entrance. He let out a few fluttery whimpers, closing his eyes. 

“Yes, Aria, please, in me,” he urged. He nuzzled at Aria’s neck, leaving a soft trail of pleading kisses. Each one left behind a slightly larger mark than the last as he devoted more attention to each one. Aria chuckled against him. 

A soft touch against his hole made his whole world stop. 

“Ooooooh, yessss,” he hissed, as the first long, slender finger dipped past the ring of muscle. His thighs were cold. He was gushing slick at a prodigious pace. But nothing else mattered more than that finger pushing him open, the touch foreign but sure. He felt his body open to accept it, easily as a dream. 

“So wet,” Aria murmured. “You look excited.”

“Aaah, yes, please, more,” he gasped, rocking himself back. Another finger pressed against him and he nodded. “Yes, yes.”

“Do you like my touch, Eros?” Aria breathed, and Yuuri groaned. “Do you like my fingers inside you?”

“ _ Yes. _ ” Yuuri's eyes fluttered. “Yes, yes, so much, so good.”

Aria drew his fingers out. Yuuri hissed, but almost as quickly, three fingers were circling his rim with teasing touches before dipping in. 

“It's so tight, but it's sucking me in, you know that, Eros?” Aria’s breath was catching. A flush was crossing his cheeks now. Something excited. Aroused. The scent thickened in the air. Yuuri nodded. Oh yesss, he wanted this. He had wanted it for days.

“You should fuck me, Aria. I want to feel you.”

“I am,” he laughed. To prove his point, he thrust his four fingers a little deeper and scissored them, making Yuuri whimper happily. Yuuri risked a glance down, and he let out a deep groan. 

Victor was still not fully erect, and even so, it was the biggest cock Yuuri had ever seen this close. And this time, Yuuri was sober, and most certainly not half-blind. His breath came a little faster, and Victor started to slide his fingers in and out. 

“You like that?” Aria said. There was a hesitation. Something holding him back. 

Yuuri purred. “It's amazing,” he said. He dipped down, taking the length of it in his hands for the first time. Heavy, thick, and long. Yuuri needed it in his mouth yesterday. 

He bent double and lapped at the head, tasting salt and a slight bitterness on his tongue. His whole body shuddered and he sucked it into his mouth. It was so much better than that toy he'd had in his mouth the last time. Nothing compared. Nothing came close. His lips barely reached around, and his mouth was so full even with just the head between his lips. His jaw ached. It was the best moment of Yuuri’s life, bar none.

Under the touches, it continued to grow, lengthen, harden under Yuuri’s fingers. Yuuri licked up the side and hummed. It wasn't enough. It needed to be in him. He needed it now. 

“Please,” he gasped, kissing the head. “Put it in me. I need it.” He could smell Aria’s scent shifting, could tell that a slow change was boiling over. “Alpha, please.”

“I don't want to hurt you,” Aria soothed, slipping another finger inside. Yuuri groaned appreciatively and rocked back. 

“You won't. I can take it. I want it. I  _ need it _ ,” Yuuri gasped. He slid his hands reverently over the length. Couldn't he see how badly Yuuri needed this? Yuuri pressed slow kisses down Aria’s cock. 

“Oh Eros,” Aria breathed, and the fingers rocked deeper inside of him. “You're so beautiful.”

“Then fuck me,” Yuuri said, rising up to rub against Victor. He wrapped his arms around Victor’s shoulders for balance, rolling his hips up. To see their lengths beside each other was almost a point of entertainment, the size difference so blatant, but the friction was delicious all the same. 

He twisted, mindful of the fingers, and fell to his knees on the bed. He presented himself as best he could, wagging his hips, bowing his back down and fluttering his eyes over his shoulder. 

“Don't you want me, Aria?” he asked, letting a rush of desire flood his scent. 

“How could I not?” Victor groaned, weak, falling for the seduction easily. Victor’s palms slid up Yuuri’s thighs, pressing a soft kiss and a swift bite to Yuuri’s ass as he traveled up. Yuuri squeaked, the sound turning to a steady hum as Victor kissed and bit his way up Yuuri’s spine, settling himself with his hard cock pressed insistently against the cleft of Yuuri’s ass and his tongue dipping into the span between Yuuri’s scapulas. 

One hand slid between them. Victor’s hips drew away, and the head slid down Yuuri’s back, guided by Victor's hand to settle beside his entrance, pushing up between the rounded globes of his rear. The tip kissed his entrance, and Yuuri groaned. 

“Relax,” Victor breathed. He pushed in. 

The first inch alone had Yuuri seeing stars, his head pitching back and his voice strangling out of him, unbidden. Victor froze, and Yuuri keened. “Ngh, don't you dare stop, Aria,” he growled. He rolled his hips back, and he shuddered as another few inches slid inside of him, bigger than anything he'd taken before. 

His breath pitched out in small whispers, mouth gaping, trying to catch himself. His hands were fluttering over the nest, clenching and clawing as he tried to breathe. Victor stilled. 

“Is it too much, zvezda?” he asked, colored with concerned, the stench of worried alpha. He was goddamned gigantic. 

Yuuri gasped. “No, it's perfect, Aria. Just… a moment.” He bowed his head, forcing his muscles to relax, to unclench around the thickness boring down inside of him, stretching him open so dizzyingly wide. He caught his breath and nodded. “Good, yes, fuck, move,” he gasped. He rolled his hips, and Victor groaned above him. 

Desire. 

Victor drew back, sliding the length in and out with a certain slowness, giving Yuuri one last chance to back out. No way in hell. Each thrust built upon the last, picking up pace until Victor was jolting in, slamming that same measure of length inside of Yuuri with each new twitch of his hips. His hands held Yuuri in place, keeping him from fucking himself back. 

Yuuri gasped and shuddered. It was amazing, fantastic. He'd never felt this full before, and this wasn't even Victor’s full length. He was holding back, and Yuuri wanted more, each new thrust driving his desire brighter and hotter. It built inside of him, electric, the cameras around them and Aria, beautiful Aria, bearing down with each thrust. 

“How's it feel, beautiful?” Victor breathed. “Show the people watching how good I feel inside you.”

He choked, twitching and spasming as he came embarrassing quickly, feeling it rip through his whole body. And still that cock was moving in and out at a brutal pace, Victor fucking him through his first orgasm as Yuuri groaned into the bed. 

Victor pulled out, leaving Yuuri feeling suddenly empty. He heard the wet slap of skin, the slick sounds of Victor’s hand jerking on his cock. Victor grunted, and Yuuri felt it, the spurts of his cum against his ass. “In me,” Yuuri groaned pitifully, disappointed. 

Victor chuckled. His fingers moved over Yuuri’s back, gathering it up and pushing it inside his hole. “Like this?”

“More,” Yuuri begged. “Aria, please. Want you to ruin me.” Aria growled, and Yuuri could smell the subtle changeover of his scent, the muskiness deepening. It drove him crazy, a fog falling over his mind. He wanted. He wanted. 

He felt himself be flipped, and Victor caught him in a searing kiss. Victor lined up and slid back inside, the way a bit easier this time. Yuuri broke apart from the kiss with a gasp. Victor was barely half inside of him. He gave a few short thrusts, cruelly teasing the promise of himself without acting on it. This was torture. This was hell.

This was unacceptable.  

“Ruin me,” Yuuri growled again. He pushed, toppling them so Victor was sprawled back, blinking in surprise. Yuuri saw the thickness like a prize to be won, and he slid above it, curling his fingers around the head and pointing it up, guiding it to his hole. 

“Eros, wait,” Aria breathed, and Yuuri let his head fall back. He'd never wanted anything more than he wanted this. He pushed the tip inside him, kneeling to take just enough for him to loosen his grip, using his hands to balance himself. 

“Aaaah,” he sighed as the same few inches drove back in. More. More. He closed his eyes, and after a deep breath, he dropped, impaling himself. 

He screamed. 

He bottomed out in one go, head falling back as he started to swear, completely losing his grip of English. He gasped and shuddered. His whole body writhed atop Victor’s girth. Victor’s hands settled on his hips, his eyes wide and worried, but all Yuuri could think of was of how perfectly and beautifully he was being wrecked right now, the hugeness completely inside him, so deep that it was reaching places Yuuri could have previously only imagined. 

He wailed, screamed, but that didn't change the fact that he'd just cum again, and he was still damned hard, his erection bobbing in the air with every twitch. Yuuri was shaking with barely contained sobs of pleasure. 

“Eros? Eros!” Victor was flustered and panicked, and his wriggling was doing the most wonderfully horrible things to Yuuri’s insides with every shift of his cock inside. 

“So good,” Yuuri cried, finding his head enough to manage that much English at least. He slipped into a soft babble of pleased Japanese, “So big, fuck, ahh, so perfect, Aria, Aria, I’m so full, you're so big.” He was nearly incoherent, he was so overwhelmed. 

“Eros, look,” Victor breathed. Yuuri followed his awed gaze down to his abdomen, where Victor’s pale hands fluttered over the skin. A small, distinct bulge beneath his navel showed the swell of where Victor’s cock pressed inside him, pushing his stomach out. Victor bobbed his hips, making Yuuri swear again, but his own eyes went just as wide as Victor’s as he watched the swell move under his skin. 

“I can see you,” Yuuri breathed. He slid his fingers over the bulge, both of them moaning. “You're so big inside of me, Aria, aaahhh, ooh, yessss,” he hissed, when the bulge shifted inside of him again. A camera circled around, and Yuuri shifted to show it off. “Mmph. So perfect. Has anyone ever had you so deep before?”

“Never,” Victor whispered. He slid his fingers up either side, skimming the sides of the bulge. “Haaaah, ooh, I feel that,” he gasped. 

Something dark and prideful reared its hard, possessive and hungry. “So I'm the first. I'm the only one who’s taken Aria’s cock like this,” Yuuri said slowly. His eyes closed and he let his head fall back, jolting his hips slightly. 

The desperation crept over him. He pitched forward, lips finding Victor’s collarbone as he lifted himself a few inches up, burying his sounds in sucking and kissing a perfect mark into Aria’s beautiful skin. He fell, filling himself once more, and the scent falling over him was indescribable. 

It hit like a rush, a sudden crash of pheromones that cowed Yuuri and locked him in place, whimpering into Aria’s shoulder. Aria snarled something in thick Russian, gnarled by lust and hunger. It happened in a blink, Aria grabbing Yuuri bodily by the shoulders and tipping him back into the bed, rutting into him filthily and deep, driving the whole length in and out in pistoning thrusts. The rut was here, and Yuuri’s omega was desperately pleased, savoring the feeling of being claimed wholly and utterly. 

“Yes, yes!” Eros cried, head falling back as Aria took what was his. Aria bent over him, stealing his breath and holding him trapped in a kiss straight from Eros’s darkest fantasies. 

“You like that?” Aria growled into his mouth. Eros frantically nodded, incapable of forming a coherent thought, let alone words. “Good. I'm going to make it so you never take a cock the same way again. Nothing will ever compare. Never be big enough for you, zvezda. Only I can open your hole like this. Split you open like this. I'll ruin you.”

Eros pitched back his head and moaned. “Yes,” he cried. “Please, oh god, yes!”

It was frantic and wild, and it was better than he could have dreamed. With every thrust, there was a flash of pain, so deep and aching that it ripped him deep to his core. But it made the pleasure of the thickness so much sweeter, the drag of Aria’s cock over his prostate, holding him open and wide, the sweet, slapping sound of flesh connecting.

A camera circled around. It brought with it a dark satisfaction, of knowing that the world could see Victor biting into his collarbone, sinking his teeth deep enough to bruise, then sucking and licking and kissing each mark until the hurt faded into nothing but pleasure, wave upon wave of it. 

The camera settled near Yuuri’s ass, catching every inch of the spread tearing Yuuri open, catch the rush of slick pouring out of him with every pull of Victor’s cock. 

He choked on his own cries. The feeling was like falling into delirium, deliciously spellbinding, no greater ecstasy than Aria destroying his ass a little more with each thrust. 

“Aria,” he cried. 

“Eros, Eros,” Victor grunted. “Aaah, Eros, so tight and perfect. Such a good omega. So good for me.”

The praise made his head whirl. 

Victor fucked him through another orgasm, exploding white hot and bright through Yuuri’s whole body. It just didn't stop. It was relentless. He was bent double, pulled apart, fucked deeper and harder than any toy could ever touch. 

_ And it still wasn't enough.  _

Even as he shuddered and came, Victor flipping him around and taking him from the side, bringing him over the edge again and again, it wasn't enough. Victor slammed him onto his back and claimed him again, growling possessively as he filled him once more. 

“Alpha,” Yuuri gasped, breathless and gone. His alpha purred at him, and Eros nuzzled into his neck. “Knot me,” he begged.

“You want my knot, zvezda? Want me to fill you up?” Aria purred, never slowing his pace. He tipped Yuuri’s hips further back, and the new angle had Yuuri crying out with every thrust, watching the flare of his head push against his abdomen. “You're so beautiful. You take me so well.”

“Alpha!” he choked. Heat pooled in his gut. “Please, alpha, knot me, need it!” He rolled his hips with another shuddery, whispery breath, catching on his own soft moans. 

Aria growled appreciatively, pulling him into another kiss, still driving his massive cock into Yuuri. Yuuri could feel it start to catch on his rim, the knot swelling slowly. Victor slammed in, deeper than before, railing so far inside that Yuuri saw white, feeling every bit of seed that Victor filled him with as he growled and bit and hummed into Yuuri’s neck, just above his scent gland. 

The knot popped, and Yuuri was gone. He fell back, lost in the throes of his orgasm as it ripped out of him, screaming Aria’s name like it was the only word he knew. 

“Beautiful,” Victor said, like he couldn't quite believe Yuuri was here, laying back in his bed like a figure from a boudoir shot, legs splayed around Victor, head tipped back and his eyes open but unseeing, lost in bliss. 

He felt so damned full. He couldn't move without gasping, everything stretched beyond belief. The connection felt so much deeper than just their bodies twined together, hips jerking as one. Victor stroked Yuuri’s cock, leaving more kiss marks over his skin as he worked Yuuri up and brought him over the edge again. The orgasm made his insides shudder and contract, and Victor groaned as Yuuri clenched around his knot, letting another spill of seed pour inside of his omega. 

“You take it so well,” Victor murmured. Yuuri cried out, feeling the press of the head inside of him, and he latched onto Victor’s neck to muffle the sounds. Victor kept up a litany of praise the entire time they were knotted, and under his soft words, Yuuri was ruined. Victor worked a few more orgasms out of them both before he softened enough to pull out, sloppy and wet, spilling a mess onto the sheets. 

Yuuri shuddered as Victor’s cock left him. His hips were lifted, his body bent double as his legs were pushed back, his knees against the mattress. His ass was pointed at the air, cool on his feverish skin. 

A camera circled around. Victor stroked his bottom with short, fond pets. “Look at you, look at this,” he breathed. “Look how open I've made you.” 

He attacked Yuuri’s thighs with kisses, growling and pleased, sucking marks into them. Yuuri could feel every pass of his tongue along his skin, the sink of Victor’s teeth into the meat of his thighs, his ass. Yuuri’s legs were cleaned of slick as Victor hummed. Fingers toyed with his hole, and Yuuri made pleased sounds, writhing beneath. He felt ripped open and not even close to satisfied. 

“Show them your pretty, fucked out hole,” Aria growled, layered with alpha commands and desire. “Let them see how I tear you apart.” Yuuri nodded frantically, pulling his legs wider apart. He wanted the world to see him. He wanted the world to see his alpha’s claim. Victor stroked him through another orgasm. How many was that? He couldn't count. He couldn't fucking think. Aria was rubbing against him, coating him in the scent of rutting alpha, and Yuuri was gone. 

He whimpered, hand grasping for Victor’s cock, sliding it through his fingers, feeling the slickness in his hands. Victor shifted, putting it within easier reach, as his tongue rasped up Yuuri’s thighs again. 

“Alpha,” Yuuri breathed. He tugged gently. Victor seemed to catch the drift. He rose onto his knees, still holding Yuuri’s legs back and up, and circled around to straddle Yuuri, holding his cock above Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri hummed and kissed the tip, only to squeal in delight when Victor’s tongue dipped between his cheeks and lapped at his hole. 

“Excited again?” Victor breathed, licking a line down Yuuri’s already hard cock, over his balls, and along his perineum. “I'm going to clean you out and fill you up, again and again,” he growled. His hands wrapped around Yuuri’s calves, hauling them back and splaying his legs wider, giving him full access to every part of Yuuri. He bit Yuuri’s ass and laved over the marks with his tongue. 

Yuuri groaned. The heat was boiling up inside of him, rising to a desperate need, and he feverishly sucked at the head of Victor’s cock, dragging his lips up the side, sliding his hands over whatever he could reach. He pursued it like a starving man chasing a feast, falling apart just to have it in his mouth. He tried to take it all in, but it hit the back of his throat long before Yuuri reached the end of the shaft, and he choked. 

He closed his eyes and whimpered around the cock in his mouth. Victor’s tongue swiped over his rim, lapping up the slick before diving in, thrusting into the hole. 

“So wet,” Victor breathed. “So needy for me.” Fingers joined the tongue, probing down for something within the fluttering ring of muscle. It was the strangest feeling, almost completely separate from himself, heady and alien. Every one of Yuuri’s moans was echoed by Victor, pleasured by the hum of Yuuri’s throat. The sounds spurred him on, and the intensity of Yuuri’s need drove him up, gasping from Victor’s mouth on his rim. 

Victor found his prostate. 

Yuuri came, spilling another rush of slick. Victor suckled at the head of his cock, and still the fingers worked him open, keeping him dripping and loose and exposed for their audience. “Vkusno,” Aria growled. He sucked harder. 

Yuuri’s eyes rolled back in his head. He wanted to taste Victor. Wanted to feel him in his mouth. He wanted more. 

His hands slid south, one petting at Victor’s silky hair, the other hitching around, squirming and seeking some of the slick that hadn't been lapped up. 

He lubed his fingers and moved his hand to cup the tight muscle of Victor’s perfect ass, hanging just above his face. Victor groaned low, growling deliciously when Yuuri pressed a finger against his entrance. “C-can I?” he gasped, tossing his head back as Victor squeezed his legs, a deeper groan than before ripping through him. 

“Fuck, yes,” Victor ground out. “Touch me, please, Eros.”

Yuuri slid Victor’s cock back between his lips, pressing the finger in with a gentle push. It resisted, slightly, but the slick on his finger eventually provided enough leeway to drive it in. Victor’s hips rolled, sliding more of the cock down his throat. There was a heaven, and this was it. He could feel Victor constrict around him, clenching instinctively. Yuuri cooed around the hardness in his mouth, stroking a hand up the line of Victor’s groin until he relaxed enough for Yuuri to curl the finger inside him. 

Victor shuddered, and the vibrations went straight to Yuuri’s cock, creating a delirious feedback loop between them. Yuuri would get worked up and moan, which would cause Victor to feel the hum against his cock, which would make him moan around Yuuri’s own erection, making the situation more frantic by turns. 

Yuuri worked Victor enough to slip a second and then third finger in, searching inside for the sweet spot that would push him over the edge. Everything was so acute, and Yuuri was desperate, his body aching for release. He wanted to taste him. He wanted Aria. 

“Eros,” Victor breathed. Yuuri whimpered at the loss of attention on his aching cock. He needed to cum. 

“Want you,” Yuuri whimpered. He closed his eyes, and the heat inside him worsened. 

“Do you want me?” Victor rasped. He twitched his hips, leaving another swift bite against the inside of Yuuri’s thighs. 

Yuuri blinked, and he drew himself up. Victor hesitated, about to pin him down, but held off, watching Yuuri. “Please, please,” Yuuri simpered. He guided Victor to lay on his back, and Victor finally conceded. He laid back, his massive erection so tall and proud, curling up and a bit to the left, jabbing against his stomach, achingly hard. Victor spread his legs. 

“Eros...” It was thickly laced with desire, a lewd, shuddering moan that rocked Yuuri to the core. 

Yuuri frantically gathered more slick on his fingers. He settled between Aria’s beautiful, pale thighs, almost tumbling over in his haste, slotting his erection in place and pushing in. He huffed as he felt the tightness squeeze around him. Aria squirmed, gasping quietly, holding himself down so his little omega could have his way. 

A rush of warmth filled him. His alpha submitting, letting him control this. Yuuri tipped forward and bottomed out quickly. Victor grunted all the same, his entrance tight, and Yuuri was overcome. He shuddered and rocked his hips, chasing release. But he still wanted Aria’s spend on his tongue, wanted Aria between his lips. He was such a greedy thing. He wanted both. He needed both. 

Aria was so big… Eros eyed the cock hungrily as he thrust in and out. Eros was definitely flexible enough. This would do nicely. 

He bowed, never slowing, folding double until Aria was in his mouth again, thick and heavy against his tongue. He pitched his hips, fucking up into the tight heat before coming inside, quietly vocalizing his pleasure as he continued to rock, his erection not even flagging. 

“Ah, yes, Eros,” Aria cried, pleasured front and back by Eros’s mouth and cock, no doubt feeling the rush of Yuuri’s cum inside him. His hips jerked, like he couldn't decide which way to thrust. Yuuri lapped at the head, overeager and ravenous, chasing the taste like a lollipop on his tongue. He drooled. 

“Aria, Aria,” he mewled. “Aaah, Aria, feels good.”

“Eros, ooooh fuck, yes, please, Eros, keep doing that,” Victor sputtered. Fingers raked through Yuuri’s hair, tugging him down a little farther onto the cock. Yuuri cried out happily, sucking at the head. “Fuck, Eros, aaaaahhh, I'm close, I'm close,”

“Wanna taste you,” Yuuri begged. He lapped at the slit and swallowed him down. He heard Victor’s breath catch, felt his hips shudder, and a spurt of bitter saltiness exploded in his mouth. 

Victor fucked his mouth, Yuuri clutching his hips to hold him as Victor came, moaning soft cries of, “Eros, Eros.”

Yuuri whimpered. Swallowing everything only made the emptiness feel worse, sitting heavily on his empty stomach. He fell onto Victor, nuzzling his neck, burying his nose in the scent gland and rutting his hard cock against Victor’s softened one. 

“Aaah, Aria, please,” Yuuri whimpered. “Inside me again, please.”

“You are insatiable,” Victor growled. He grabbed Yuuri and dragged him into a searing kiss, tasting his own seed on Yuuri’s tongue. Yuuri felt Victor’s interest return, slowly stiffening once more. Yuuri whimpered again.

He felt Victor’s fingers return to his hole, stretching him back open with lazy jerks and twists. 

“Feels empty,” Yuuri said, bowing his head.

“I'll give you what you need,” Aria promised. “I'll fill you up, my Eros, my beautiful one, pump you so full you won't be able to move. Would you like that, my greedy little thing?”

“Yesss,” Eros gasped. Aria’s. He was Aria’s. Mind, body, and soul, he would surrender anything for his alpha, give anything just to have that damned cock back inside him. He kissed Aria frantically, thrusting his hips helplessly against Aria’s side. 

Victor growled and they toppled back onto the bed in a pile. He pulled Yuuri to his knees, and Yuuri presented again, dipping automatically into a low bow, lifting his ass high. He notched his legs a little further apart, whimpering as prettily as he could. 

“Alpha, alpha…”

He felt hands settle on his hips, a soft whisper of sheets as Victor settled into position behind him. There was a pause, a slow, breathless moment where everything was still, stretching out longer than Yuuri could bear, until he was ready to break down and beg. 

Victor slammed in, punching inside with the slap of his balls against Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri saw stars, throwing his head back with a delighted cry. His fingers clawed at the sheets as Victor nailed him, pounding him into the pile of pillows.

Yuuri sobbed into the bed as he came again, ripped straight out of him, moaning Aria’s name for all it was worth. It only spurred his alpha on. 

Victor reached around and jerked him off, and the sensitivity was starting to become too much. He was hard again, so fast, so soon, but it was almost more than he could bear. “Fill me,” he gasped. “Please~”

Victor growled low, and Yuuri felt Victor’s knot swell again as Victor released his seed inside of him, painting his insides white. Yuuri’s cries became more delirious, wanton and pleased, but overwhelmed. Victor slowed. He lowered them down into a more comfortable position on the bed. 

Yuuri was feeling overstimulated and  _ loved it _ . Fuck, he loved this feeling, needed more. Victor positioned him onto his side, the little spoon to Victor’s big spoon. 

Their bodies would be connected together like this for the next half hour at least. But Victor never stopped moving, even as Yuuri gasped and shuddered in front of him, spitted so wonderfully on his alpha’s massive knot. It held him shut so wonderfully, holding all of Victor's seed trapped deep inside of him. 

Yuuri rubbed the cock head through his stomach, rolling his fingers over it as Victor swore behind him, decorating his back in more of his claiming kisses. He wanted more. He wanted to be filled. 

“Greedy thing,” Aria growled. “Mmm, you're so warm and tight on my cock, you take my knot so well, zvezda. I’ll keep you here forever. Mmm, ahhh.” He groaned as he came again, hips jolting. “My beautiful Eros. Mine, mine, all mine. You can hang off my knot, my precious omega, keep my cock nice and warm for me, and I'll fill you up so good. Would you like that?”

“ _ Yessss _ ,” Yuuri cried. 

“Oh yes you would, beautiful. You're so good for me. Mine alone, and the whole world can see you so full of my cum.”

Yuuri nodded frantically. He could feel it all inside of him, still not at all enough. A sob broke out of him as Victor pulled another orgasm out of him, too much too fast, and fuck if it wasn't amazing. 

Victor came and came, pumping him full just as he promised, groaning as he finally softened. Yuuri felt Victor’s mouth pull into an impish smile against his spine. 

E _ -ros, _ ” he sang into Yuuri’s ear. Yuuri was barely coherent, barely managed a soft ‘mmnn’ of acknowledgement. “Think I can get another knot and keep filling your cute little hole up?”

Yuuri went stock still. His eyes closed, and he let out the longest, hungriest moan yet. 

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, yes,” Yuuri groaned. Victor shifted behind him, pulling out slowly. Yuuri whined. Victor’s fingers plugged up Yuuri’s hole, and yet it still felt so painfully empty, even with all of Victor’s semen inside of him. With his other hand, Yuuri could feel the slow strokes of Victor bringing himself back up to full hardness, to the edge he'd need to reach to knot Yuuri again so soon. 

The fingers moved inside Yuuri, pushing past the seed, seeking out Yuuri’s prostate and finding it much faster this time around. Yuuri shuddered as he found it. Rather than teasing glances, however, Victor set an absolutely brutal pace, his long, thin fingers rolling over it, massaging it until Yuuri was writhing. 

It took longer than the previous orgasms, lacking much of the external stimulation. Not that Yuuri needed it, didn't even think to touch his own cock when the feeling inside him was so delicious, so overwhelming and targeted and focused. No touch could ever compare. And when it hit, Yuuri saw white, spilling his load onto the bed in front of him with his mouth open, eyes wide and blown, unable to breathe. 

“You like that?” Aria sounded breathless, thrilled. A child with a new toy. He hummed into Yuuri’s neck, suckling a new mark. “Prostate orgasm. I'll give you more later if you want. Deep breath, Eros, I'm going to fill you up now.”

Yuuri barely started breathing, barely heard the words before the fingers were withdrawn and Victor slammed back inside of him, rolling his hips twice. Yuuri felt the soft swell of the knot grow inside and then pop, locking them together again with all of Victor’s cum still held inside. As Yuuri moaned, he felt the rush of Victor’s orgasm pouring into him, filling him that much more. 

Yuuri could have cried. “Oh fuck, yes, fill me, fill me, Aria,” he begged. 

“You like feeling full?” Aria growled. “Of course you do, my pretty omega. You like having your alpha’s big fat cock in you.” 

Aria brought his hands around to massage Yuuri’s stomach, kneading at the soft swell of his cock where it protruded. Yuuri could feel the cum sloshing inside him with every roll of Victor’s hips, packed full and still not full enough. Victor curled a possessive hand around Yuuri’s cock, starting to jerk him off again. The other hand moved across Yuuri’s stomach, slow, almost worshipful as Victor fucked his omega. His voice was husky and low, growling out words like a prayer. 

“Gonna fill you so good, you're gonna be so pretty filled up with my cum. You like that, don't you, zvezdochka, my Eros? My seed inside you, right here. Your belly swollen and heavy with my babies, so big you can't leave my bed. Bend you over my bed and breed you again and again, knot you full until it takes.”

Yuuri let out a strangled cry as he came in Victor’s hand. 

“Ahh, you like that? You want my babies in you? So perfect, beautiful Eros.” He grunted, growled, pitched his hips and burst, cumming hard inside of Yuuri. The pressure was amazing, pushing on his abdomen with something so close to that wonderful feeling of fullness Yuuri had been craving.

“Of course you want babies, my beautiful omega. Our children would be beautiful. I'll get you through your heats, never let anyone else ever touch you again… they can watch but they can't ever touch you…”

Yuuri sobbed into the pillows, already starting to feel fucked out bliss. And still there was more, that massive knot holding his ass in place, locking Victor’s dick inside of him. 

Victor spilled into him twice more, bringing him closer and closer to that perfect moment of fullness, of finally being complete at last. 

“I can feel it inside you, can you feel it too?” Victor continued. “You like my load, don't you? Do you want more, beautiful?”

“Please,” Yuuri sobbed. He rubbed his hands over his stomach, measuring how taut it felt under his fingers, groaning at the soft swell of how full he truly was right now. Aria’s babies. Cherubic little creatures with his platinum hair and his blue eyes, oh Yuuri wanted them so badly he could cry. “One more, please, need one more. Breed me, Aria, breed your omega, give me your babies~”

He tossed his head back and screamed as Victor came one more time. Everything was lighter than air, shimmering and dizzy. There it was. That blissful moment of being complete, of being so full he couldn't move for ache of being filled, his stomach hurting and his ass screaming. All he could think of was Victor growling for the whole world to hear, telling him how beautifully he took it. 

It was so much. Yuuri laid limp on the bed, temporarily fucked silly. His jaw hung lax. He never wanted Victor’s knot to go down, not ever again. He wanted to stay this fucking full forever. 

They rested like that. They remained connected even as Aria softened. Yuuri swore and growled and demanded the knot back. It wasn't threatening. He couldn't even move. 

It must have been hours since they started. Consciousness flickered at the edge of Yuuri’s awareness. Dimly, he knew there were people in the room with them. He knew there were cameras. But Aria’s knot was better than a camera lens. 

They took a short nap, cuddled together in the mess, Victor’s head still sitting just inside him. 

Yuuri was burning when he came to. He wasn't even up first, teased awake by Victor rocking his erection into Yuuri’s crack, sliding the head teasingly against his entrance. Yuuri growled. “Put it in, damn you,” he whimpered, and the effect was ruined by his pitiful cries and pleas. He pushed his hips back, needing it back in him. 

“Still so eager,” Victor breathed, amazed. He grinned. “Grouchy Eros.” Victor thrust back in and stroked Yuuri off like it was his job. The nap had rejuvenated Yuuri, left him feeling fresh and hungry and empty again, even with the swish of what seed still remained inside him. Needed to fix that. Needed more inside him. 

Victor must not have noticed, because he focused on Yuuri, pulling more orgasms out of him, barely focusing on himself. Yuuri wanted his alpha’s spend inside him already. He grinned back, breathless, but feeling playful. “Feeling tired already, old man?”

“I'm good a while longer, heh,” Victor chuckled, snapping his hip up. He sounded strained. Tired. 

Yuuri twisted up, pulling himself regrettably off of Victor’s dick. He pushed Victor’s shoulders down to the bed with a smirk, laughing a little in delight. “Good. I'm just getting started, Aria. I want more of you. More, more,” he demanded. 

“You think you can handle more?” Victor teased. Yuuri jerked his legs apart with a growl. Yuuri sucked marks into those perfect thighs, cooing at the fingers pressing back inside him, and he wanted again. Below Victor’s proud erection, his puckered hole winked so desirably. 

Yuuri bit his lip. “Nngh, Aria, please, can I?” Victor nodded, and Yuuri shuddered in delight. He reached for the slick on his thighs. There was so much, it was pouring out of him. 

His first two fingers went in so much easier this time. It was slightly looser than earlier, and while Yuuri wasn't big, couldn't fuck Aria open the way an alpha could, he was still more than two fingers wide, at the very least. Yuuri lined up. Victor slipped his fingers in deeper, rocking against Yuuri’s prostate, making him swear. He almost came right there, spilling his load on Aria’s pretty hole. 

Yuuri bit his lip and pushed in. His alpha laid back, growling his approval as Yuuri rocked above him, cumming embarrassingly quickly on the next pass over his prostate. But he didn't lose his erection. He stayed hard inside, kept thrusting in and out, pounding into his beautiful alpha as hard as he could. He lost two more orgasms inside that beautifully tight heat of his alpha, shuddering and gasping, and those wonderful fingers playing with his rim. 

Victor smiled at him, so beautiful, so proud, his cock weeping precum at his omega fucking him. They kissed again, less frantic this time. It was teasing now, less urgent. The heat was less, still so present, impossible to ignore, but less demanding. 

He waited until Yuuri came one more time, barely giving his omega the chance to recover, before he pulled himself off his omega’s cock, tipping Yuuri back onto the bed and pushing back in, claiming him once more. 

Yuuri purred. It was a low, deep rumble that reverberated through his entire chest, a deep, genuine purr that startled Victor. But it left Victor purring back, so pleased by his omega, and the sound was like music. 

Aria fucked him so sweetly, so perfectly, it left Yuuri mewling and happy, writhing on that perfectly massive cock inside of him. 

Yuuri gasped, feeling close, so close, crying out. He was ready to burst. The heat simmered low inside of him. It was a familiar feeling, like the embrace of an old friend. He'd cum so many times already, and still he needed more, growing impatient and eager, whimpering his pleasure. Then Victor pulled out, grinning down at him. The smile was so cheeky, so mischievous. Yuuri sputtered at him, shocked. 

“A-Aria!”

“Mmm, my beautiful omega,” he purred, nosing at Yuuri’s scent gland. He ran his tongue over it. Yuuri shivered, letting his head fall back again. Victor rubbed against him, and Yuuri caught his breath, slowly backing off the edge. As soon as he did, though, Victor rocked back, pushing back in with a grin. 

Yuuri sighed happily, pulling his legs apart so Aria could take him deeper. It built again, delicious and all-consuming. Aria fucked him like a lover, slower and sweeter, bringing the purr back. 

“Close,” Yuuri moaned. Victor kissed him, savoring the taste. 

And then, right on the edge of bursting, Victor pulled back out again. Yuuri whined. 

Above him, Victor showered him with laughter and feathering kisses, dotting them up Yuuri’s jaw, peppering his cheeks, littering them over Yuuri’s nose and lips. 

“Aria, please,” he groaned. He cupped Aria’s cheeks in his hands, pulling him into a long, slow kiss that turned a little steamy after a few minutes. 

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, pushing his cock back inside. He was making love in his movements, Yuuri thought, almost like something slow and passionate, focused on bringing Yuuri right up to that moment of release as sensually as possible. Yuuri fell into the lazy kisses, the slow roll of hips. 

Right before release, Victor pulled out again. 

“Damn you,” Yuuri cried, wriggling helplessly on the bed as he was deprived of sensation just when he needed it most. His fingers curled into the sheets, head falling back on the pillow nest in agony. “Aria, put your fucking cock back in me right now, I swear to god-”

Above him, Victor was almost in tears, laughing. It wasn't funny. It wasn't fucking funny. But Yuuri’s lips twitched, and suddenly they were laughing together, breathless and rutting their cocks together. 

“You're so cute, Eros,” Victor breathed, his eyes sparkling and so, so blue. Yuuri sucked in a breath and kissed him. He twitched his legs apart. Aria pushed back in. 

This time, Yuuri grabbed Aria’s hips, holding him inside as he fucked Yuuri open once more. His hips paused, and Yuuri could see that damned grin again. He growled. Victor let out another peal of laughter and drove back in, fucking them both through another orgasm, Victor filling Yuuri right where he needed it, so bad, so hungry, and Yuuri spilling onto his stomach. 

Victor pulled off and lapped at the spend, cleaning off Yuuri’s stomach with a small hum. He sucked more marks into the skin. Yuuri could see a pattern down his body, skin mottled by purple marks, stretching neatly from his collarbone to his knees. They clustered on his thighs, his groin, and more were darkening to life on his stomach as Aria worked. 

Aria’s kisses sank lower. “You taste so good, so sweet, Eros,” he praised. He brought Yuuri’s cock to his lips, swallowing him down in one go before rising back up to lick at slit and mouth sweetly at the head. Yuuri mewled happily, curling his fingers in Victor’s hair as he was sucked off. 

Victor was so good at this, the way he was good at everything he did, prodding his fingers back inside with the same measured pace he used to bob up and down Yuuri’s length. He brought Yuuri off with a long suck, making him whimper and groan when he kept at it just a second too long, before Victor was dipping back down, tipping his legs into the air so he could mouth at Yuuri’s rim. 

It was like this for a while, slow and sensual. 

“Ariaaaa,” Yuuri groaned. “Don't tell me you're tired already.”

“Of course not,” Aria scoffed. Lie. That was a lie, Yuuri could hear the slight strain in his voice, the exhaustion. Yuuri wasn't finished. Didn't want this to end. 

Aria brought him off again, and Yuuri was on his knees in an instant, butting his head against Victor’s chest before Victor could clean him off again. Aria laughed tiredly. His eyes widened, as though inspiration struck. 

“Eros,” Victor purred. He sat back, guiding Eros over him. “Ride me, Eros. Can you be so good for me and get yourself off again?”

Yuuri purred in delight, plunging himself down eagerly. Unlike the first time, Aria’s whole length slid in smooth, all the way to the base. He went at it, a man on a mission, rolling his hips and fucking himself up and down. He made the most delicious little noises, until his body was shimmering with sweat. Every rise and fall made his cock jump, bobbing hard in the air. 

Victor’s hands settled on his hips. He was purring, or humming, but whatever it was, it was musical and light, and Yuuri let his head fall back in bliss. 

The grip tightened as Yuuri came, bursting over their stomachs in messy spurts. It was shorter than earlier. Victor praised him, holding him down on his cock. 

“That's so good for me, Eros. Can you stay like that for me? Keep my cock all nice and warm for me? You're doing so well, beautiful.”

Yuuri hummed happily. He was full and being praised, and Victor’s lips were like a dream, pulling his face closer and sucking him in, tangling their tongues together in a slow battle that neither wanted to really win that badly, didn't want to end. 

Victor’s hands slid up Yuuri’s chest. The pale fingers were set off by Yuuri’s slightly darker skin, like silver and gold, fawn and fresh cream, glancing over the dark purple marks dotting Yuuri’s skin. Yuuri was pleased. Victor was almost as marked, bitten over his shoulders, up his neck, so close to his scent gland that it bordered on the obscene. All down his chest, his stomach, freckling his thighs. Yuuri’s marks. Yuuri’s.

Victor’s fingers rolled over Yuuri’s nipples, eliciting a sudden gasp. 

“Have these been neglected?” Victor purred. Yuuri cried out as Victor attended to both, bobbing his hips just to remind Yuuri of the fullness. 

“You're such a little vixen, Eros. I heard you were insatiable, but this is beyond my expectations. You're still aching for me, aren't you, beautiful? So perfect for me, so good, so hungry for me to keep filling you up.”

“Aria,” Yuuri moaned. Victor pressed his nose to the scent gland and rocked up. 

“You're still so tight for me, you know, it's amazing, even after all this time you're still squeezing me, still hard,” he growled into Yuuri's skin. “I can't stop thinking about the way you cry out when I fuck you, how your head falls back when you come.”

Yuuri nosed at Victor’s neck, breathing in the deep musk and fainted roses, shuddering. “Aria, yes, so good.”

One hand curled delicately along his ass. Yuuri felt a soft prod at his entrance. And then Victor slid a finger in beside his cock and Yuuri came undone. 

It was so tight, a new intrusion pushing in beside Victor, smaller than his knot but so unexpected, such a strange feeling that Yuuri gasped into his chest. The finger moved, driving Yuuri crazy enough just being there, until he found that sweet spot inside that made Yuuri fall apart around him. 

Another finger joined, and it didn't stop, pushing up inside of Yuuri’s body with his cock and his fingers, working him open, stimulating him until his was crying and coming again and again. Victor groaned with every new spasm around his cock. The fingers stilled when Yuuri’s body seized in orgasm, only to resume their brutal pace once more. 

He felt tears fall down his cheeks, choked moans of pleasure. “Aria!” he sang. Victor played him like a musical instrument, bringing out sounds he didn't even know he could make as he brought Yuuri crashing over the edge time and time again. 

“How's that, zvezdochka? Mine, mine, all mine, so beautiful,” he cooed. The hand not currently ruining Yuuri’s entire life, turning his brain to gelatin and leaving it a fucked-out puddle in his skull, slid over his abdomen. Victor traced the bulge of his cock with his fingers. Another finger slipped inside. “My beautiful omega, taking me so well… Let the world see your beauty. Let them see you falling apart for me. They want you to feel this.”

Another broken sob ripped out of Yuuri’s chest. “Aaaah, yes, mine, you're mine, fuck me, Aria!” he screamed. “I want them to see me. Wanna show them! Knot me, Aria, knot me, please!” 

“Be patient,” Victor breathed. He kept milking Yuuri’s prostate for all it was worth, bringing Yuuri crashing again with an animal scream. Yuuri twitched and tried to fuck himself on Victor’s cock, but the hand petting his stomach clamped down, holding him in place. 

“C-can't do it, can you?” Yuuri gasped, head falling back and sobbing when another finger joined the first three. “Aaaah, oh fuck, Aria, Aria, can you satisfy me? I don't think you c-can-”

Yuuri screamed. 

The knot popped, and Yuuri plunged straight to the depths of hell itself. He was ruined, sobbing openly, screaming and writhing. He couldn't even form words, and if there were any, they were garbled and lost, mangled into Japanese as he was filled with Victor’s seed again. “So good, fuck, fuck, so good, Aria, Aria!” He was broken and fucked, and he kissed Victor again with a fevered intensity. 

His head fell back as he came and just kept cumming, screaming Aria’s name for the world to hear. Victor’s free hand slid to his mouth, pushing past his lips, and Yuuri groaned and suckled eagerly. He rolled his hips on his alpha’s knot, those damned fingers inside him stretching him so fucking wide, glancing over his prostate as Yuuri unloaded. 

They were both breathing heavily when they felt the knot loosen, letting them pull apart with a rush of slick and semen spilling out. Yuuri collapsed onto Victor’s chest. 

“Cheater,” he huffed. 

He closed his eyes. He was limp. He was spent. Victor must have been spent, too, because Yuuri couldn't imagine him having anything left after that. 

Victor smiled. His fingers curled into the hair at Yuuri’s nape, running up the scalp and back down deliciously. “Yeah. But you're soft now.” He eyed Yuuri’s limp dick with a very pleased grin. 

Yuuri groaned. He snuggled closer. Fuck. He was so tired. He couldn't move beyond a weak lifting of his head as the betas around them called it a wrap. Yuuri fell asleep in his alpha's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of fucking course Yuuri is flexible enough/Victor is big enough for Yuuri to suck him off while fucking him. Don't pretend you don't love the thought.
> 
> If you don't see your kink now, it's coming later. Heh. Sex puns. No, but seriously, I've got a lot more sex planned for later. And if you've got more kinks after the story is finished, it might work in an exploratory fic of just… more cam sessions. I don't really know yet.
> 
> I almost had Victor call Yuuri a slut for him in the heat of the moment and sent Yuuri spiraling on camera. I was this close. *holds fingers a few millimeters apart* But I wanted hot fluffy sexy happy porn, goddamnit, so the slut plot line is set aside for a little later. PLUS THESE DORKS. ARE SO FUCKING CUTE. I CAN’T.


	7. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri discovers 3 AM baths are pretty okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I just found out there's more fan art?? Pls link me these, I'm so overwhelmed right now and I love them to bits *fans self* If you're the artist, let me know so I can credit you for these amazingly gorgeous pieces. I don't want to link them without express permission first but the ones I've seen are all so beautiful <33 
> 
> Savi has made another one and it's just amazing. Exactly what I picture when I think of Yuuri’s tastefully sexy snaps on Instagram. Go to notsaviforwork.tumblr.com/post/160003891603/still-thinking-about-camboyyuuri-lmao to see just how perfect it is!!
> 
> Also, the damn chapter kept deleting my emojis. So I did what I could. 
> 
> As always, thanks for your kudos, comments and kinks! The list keeps growing!! Sorry if I hit kinks that aren't your thing. I totally get it. There shouldn't be too much plot stuff wrapped up in most of the kinks so they're skippable if they bother you. The only real plot related ones right now are the size kink and exhibition kink, and that slut thing that you absolutely don't need to worry at all about ;)

The aftermath of a heat always felt like the worst hangover in the history of mankind, and was usually accompanied by sharp pains in his lower half from where he split himself open on toys.

This was different. Yuuri couldn't fucking move.

He only got about five minutes of sleep before Phichit and Chris were shaking them both awake. Yuuri growled unhappily as the slow fade of the heat left a painful, sleepy awareness in its wake. Phichit tutted. “None of that, you big baby, put nap time on pause for a minute.” He pressed a cool bottle of water against Yuuri’s forehead. Phichit had always taken care of Yuuri afterward. “Drink slowly.”

Victor growled into Yuuri’s shoulder. Chris sighed, and both Victor and Yuuri yelped when he slid two bottles of water onto the bare skin between them, sending them scrambling apart to escape the condensation of the bottles.

“Oh, Chris,” Victor managed, raking his fingers back through his hair. His voice was a croak. He sat up very slowly, groaning as he did so and looking thoroughly dazed.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Victor,” Chris laughed, passing him a bottle of water. “Drink slow, or you'll throw up like last year.”

“Drink, Eros,” Phichit urged. “I set out all this water and you two don't fucking touch any of it.” Yuuri hadn't moved. He weakly grabbed for it, blinking at the cap, groaning when the motion sent spirals of pain radiating down his back.

“Oooooh, fuck,” Yuuri swore sleepily. He dropped back to the bed, dizzy. “Everything hurts.”

“Sorry, Eros,” Victor groaned. He rubbed his middle, like he'd done too many sit-ups. “It hurts. It always hurts.”

Phichit scoffed. “Yeah. But you weren't taking it up the butt for the last 26 hours.” He uncapped the water for Yuuri and passed it over. Yuuri sipped delicately at it. He could barely even open his eyes. Victor pulled him into his arms, nuzzling his neck, and Yuuri fell into the embrace, limp and sleepy.

Chris kissed his teeth. “It’s only about 8 PM right now, so _slowly_ finish your water, and we’ll get some food for you before you sleep.”

Yuuri made a disgusted sound. Food sounded horrible. He sipped at the water again, barely conscious and trying to take stock of everything.

His butt already hurt. That was the biggest thing. It was impossible to sit up, even position himself remotely upright. As it was, he could barely lean against Victor’s naked side. It wasn’t like fucking himself open with his toys. It was deeper, more insistent, less a dull ache and more an angry flare of pain throbbing with every pulse, like his insides had been ripped open.

And the pain wasn’t just internal. The skin felt raw and angry. A lot of his skin did, but his ass and thighs in particular seemed like they’d been run through a cheese grater.

His muscles were sore, too, but that was secondary. It was like the remains of a hard workout, more than anything else. Not the most unpleasant thing in the world, not unfamiliar, but not a great feeling either.

His throat was dry, and also hurt. Slow sips of water helped a little, but it didn’t do much for the bone-deep lethargy that was gripping him and the blistering headache roiling at the base of his skull.

He blinked his eyes open. And oh. Wow. His skin was a patchwork of hickeys, his thighs mottled with the purple marks of Victor’s mouth on his legs, his groin, up his torso, his shoulders, even his collarbone. He was also completely nude still, surrounded by half a dozen men and women who were packing up equipment, slumped against an equally naked Victor, and also in front of both Chris and Phichit.

He flushed. He glanced nervously over at Victor, his cheeks deepening red. Victor was just as marked up, his skin ruined by Yuuri’s own marks. He groaned.

“Be shy later, Eros, you just got wrecked for the whole internet to see, so being naked in front of me is the least of your concerns,” Phichit quipped. “Chris, where’s the food Victor ordered? We need to get some calories in these two before they fall back asleep.”

“Right, of course,” Chris demurred. On the desk, he grabbed two steaming mugs and passed them each over. Inside, Yuuri could see a rich broth dotted with vegetables. He sipped numbly. It was delicious, but Yuuri still felt a bit sick.

“Aria,” he whimpered. Victor nuzzled his neck, leaving soft kisses there. Yuuri purred. Phichit and Chris exchanged sly grins as they two of them sleepily ate the soup.

“How do you feel?” Victor murmured.

“Alive,” Yuuri managed, trying to blink away the sleepy fog. “Not great.”

“Me neither,” Victor echoed. He rubbed his face.

Chris put his hands on his hips with a disapproving look. “Maybe if someone was able to stop having sex for maybe 60 seconds and drink something, they wouldn't feel like shit right now. You do this every year, Victor.”

“And I told you the same thing,” Phichit groused, scolding Yuuri.

“I… forgot,” Victor said. He yawned and cuddled Yuuri close, and Yuuri felt inclined to let him. His omega was satisfied by the day’s events, thoroughly satiated and mated again and again, fucked until he couldn't move.

Yuuri mumbled a grumpy complaint at Phichit that might have been in Japanese. Phichit took his empty mug with a sigh.

“Well, at least you've got something in you now. Get some sleep. We can talk afterwards.”

Something else might have been said, but the words were lost to sleep. They slumped against each other and snoozed a while longer, cozy in their nest.

The next time Yuuri woke up, it was dark. Everything still hurt. Maybe even worse than before, if that was even possible. He was still naked. Skin covered in dried jizz. Bed covered in jizz. So much jizz.

Yuuri shifted in the bed, and realized three more things very quickly.

It hurt. Worse than he thought. A gasp of pain escaped him just from shifting that little bit, agony radiating up the length of his spine.

He was in Victor’s arms right now, and they were both extremely naked, and very tangled together.

From the grossly fucked open hole and the revolting gush of slick and cum still leaking out of him, he was going to need a shower. And, most likely, some very deep cleaning.

For a moment, Yuuri was in awe. He'd slept with the great legend, Aria. How many years had he been dreaming of this day? How many heats had he spent imagining being plowed open by Aria’s monster dick? And here he was now, a bit worse for wear, but so unbelievably satisfied.

Aria wasn't just a good lay. He was the _best_ lay.

Victor cuddled him closer, his eyes slowly opening. And just like that, the satisfaction ended. Panic remained. The heat was gone. The haze had passed. But every last thing they'd done was now so, so fresh in his mind. The heat was burning in his cheeks.

Fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Victor smiled tiredly. “How are you feeling?” His voice was still a soft rasp, some combination of sleep and thirst, no doubt.

“T-tired.” Even speaking hurt.

Yuuri was stock still, horrified. Why was Victor smiling? Oh god, surely this man hated Yuuri after everything he'd done. Yuuri had gone completely crazy. Growling, calling him ‘mine’, marking him up like a possession, _screaming_ to have his children because what? How crazy was that? Yuuri could feel the pounding of his heart against his ribcage.

Victor snuggled him closer, pressing a few more soft kisses to his cheeks. “Mmm, me too.”

Yuuri was in full panic mode now, trying to keep from combusting in the beautiful alpha’s embrace. He could feel every last inch of the skin to skin contact, how Victor’s arms were snaked around his middle, how their legs twisted together, the length of his soft, but still intimidating, cock pressed to Yuuri’s thigh.

“I can't believe I did all of that. Aren't you mad at me?” he said quickly. “I- I did all those things, and-”

Victor looked confused. “Huh? Mad? You were amazing. I'm certain that was the best show yet. And if it somehow wasn't, it was at the very least my favorite.” He winked.

Yuuri made a sound like a dying whale.

"Oh, shoot, I'm sorry,” Victor gasped, his hands fluttering softly over Yuuri’s skin. “You're probably sore from all that. I've got a bath, we can soak and you can wash up, I'm certain you want to clean all that semen out of you. Sorry about that, by the way!” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Filling you up like that made for a good show, but I bet the cleanup is going to be a bear.”

Yuuri could only blink. He smacked his lips, feeling parched and more than a little disoriented. He was dazed.

That was what Victor was worried about? Not the fact that Yuuri had ruined his show? Yuuri was having a hard time breathing. Aria should be angrier. He should be furious. But he was smiling?

“Sure. Right. Um. What… time is it?” Yuuri choked out. He was still dead tired, but they were up now, and with the jackhammering of his heart, there was no way he was falling back asleep. It felt late. Or early. Whatever it was, it was not nearly enough sleep.

Victor and Yuuri’s cell phones had been left on the bedside table. Victor smiled when he saw them, snagging both. “Looks like it’s about three thirty. Hmm. I want to see the reception to the show. Secondary stream is still up, too…”

No no no no no.

“No, wait-”

Yuuri watched in horror as Victor pulled up the stream on his phone. Sounds of heated moans and sucking filled the soft quiet of the room, blaring out of tinny speakers. Victor swore gently and fumbled for the volume, bumping it down. He watched for a few moments.

“Wow,” Victor breathed, eyes going wide.

Yuuri buried his face in his hands. Oh god, that was what he sounded like when he moaned? So embarrassing. It was like something out of a porno, but worse because it was unquestionably Yuuri, and it sounded horrific. Why did his followers like this?

And now Victor had proof about how terrible the show had been.

“Eros, we look… wow. Look at us.” His tone was light with wonder. He tilted the screen. Yuuri wanted to look away, but it was like a train wreck. No matter how badly he couldn't bear to look, he couldn't turn his head.

They were joined on the bed, spooning with Aria’s arousal tucked away inside of Eros. Of that, there was no question. Yuuri could see the push of the head poking at his stomach.

So the viewers could see it too, it seemed.

Eros’s head was tipped forward, his lips open and gasping, but his eyes closed and lost in the pleasure. Aria was bowed beside him, pressing kisses to his jaw as his hand stroked Eros’s length. Every so often Aria’s eyes would flutter, and he'd snap his hips, making Eros take a sharp breath.

The camera showed a lovely view of Eros’s front, before focusing in first on the thickness bearing down inside Eros, then on where Aria’s hand moved and twisted and touched. Aria groaned, pushing his hips out again in a gentle thrust, and Eros cried out. His eyes opened, dark and blown with lust, and Eros came, short jets of white spilling onto the messy nest.

“So good for me, Eros,” Aria breathed, just loud enough for the cameras to catch. “Give me another?”

“Aaahhh, feels so good, Aria, Aria,” Eros moaned.

Victor shivered visibly, biting his lip, and for nervous moment, Yuuri kind of agreed.

Perfectly objectively… they looked… kind of amazing together. Aria’s radiant, slender fairness looked resplendent beside the sultry black hair and lithe limbs of Eros. The sizes were complementary, with Aria being big enough to wrap around Eros, nuzzle his face into Eros’s neck, and tangle their legs together. And there was something about the way their attentions were so wholly devoted to each other, so lost to the world, a heated, single minded drive to find pleasure in the other...

Yuuri couldn't look away, and not because it was a train wreck. It was… hot. Damned hot. Photos of himself always left him flustered, a little nervous that it was too much, that he'd gone too far, and Phichit had always assured him that he looked beautiful, even as Yuuri always had his doubts.

But now… he almost thought it himself. They kind of looked nice together.

Yuuri’s eyes skated to the chat, desperately seeking a distraction from the arousal creeping up once more, weakly stirring in a valiant attempt at interest.

At three AM on a Friday, much of the chat was populated by other time zones, a few comments in other languages and other writing systems. A bit of math told Yuuri it would be evening in Japan right now, daytime across Europe.

 **> >SmokingKiss**: WHERE’S MY ARIA MONEYSHOT DAMMIT (eggplant emoji) (spray emoji) (spray emoji) (peach emoji)

 **> >Trash4Aria:** aahhhhhh *screaming* he's so big whyyyyyy

 **> >BBsizequeen: ***crying*

 **> >curry:** Holy fuck that's a goddamn beautiful omega. I want his pretty mouth on my knot. Aria share with meeeee

 **> >Ghost_Cop89:** Damn someone said this was supposed to be intense

 **> >Ghost_Cop89:** This is barely R rated

 **> >PENGUINS:** @Ghost_Cop89 [link] someone on tumblr made superedit of a earlier part of stream. That's where intense shit is before it get fluffy.

 **> >PENGUINS: **And it picks up again in last hour or 2.

 **> >Ghost_Cop89: **@PENGUINS cheers, my dude.  

 **> >BBsizequeen:** @PENGUINS omg do you have the part at the beginning where Eros cries b/c Aria is so big

 **> >PENGUINS: **scroll through the archives, same link, its in their to.

 **> >BBsizequeen:** thx!! <33

 **> >SmokingKiss: **WHO SAYS THIS ISNT HOT???

 **> >SmokingKiss: **FITE ME IRL 1V1 ME

 **> >diamonddick: **Its soooo late but I can't stop watching Dx

 **> >luhkey_se7en:** Someday I want someone who’ll scream my name the way these two are screaming for each other

 **> >AriasGrl: **they're just in a rut, they won't even care about each other tomorrow anyway

 **> >4theLoveofEros:** nooooo dont say that I ship them already <333

 **> >AriasGrl: **um this is an 18+ stream, you know that right? Aren't you up past your bedtime?

 **> >4theLoveofEros:** well fuck you too

 **> >AriasGrl: **grow up and talk to me again honey

 **> >Jigglejigglejiggle:** Someone has put up a live counter tracking the number of times they've both come

 **> >dsJdBd73: **link or it didn't happen

 **> >Jigglejigglejiggle: **[link]

 **> >dsJdBd73:** holy jesus

 **> >PM_ME_UR_SIN: **that's unreal that eros guy is a goddamn sex machine

 **> >mkhstry: **heats man

 **> >UpTo11:** New drinking game take a shot every time one of them cums

 **> >gimmedatbooty:** but I don't want to die

 **> >Roll2Seduce:** #rutextravaganza trending on Twitter!! #wedidit

 **> >notavirgin:** HOW CAN ARIA STILL KEEP UT UP

Victor snickered beside Yuuri, startling him. “I did cheat a little,” he admitted. “You weren't getting tired, and I realized I probably only had one more knot in me, so I figured I'd wear you at as quickly as possible.”

“I- I don't…” Yuuri thought back. How Aria had wrestled him down and pushed him through so many orgasms in quick succession. He flushed.

“But I did it!” Victor cheered, like it was some great victory won. “I satisfied Eros! I did satisfy you, right?” he asked, wagging his eyebrows.

“I am exhausted,” Yuuri admitted. He'd never felt so spent, so useless and exhausted and just… finished, in a good way. He paused, remembering something else. “And… Aria! You bit my butt!” he said indignantly.

“I did a lot more than that to it,” Victor laughed, and he was bending double, tears springing to his eyes from how hard he was laughing. “Owww, shoot, laughing hurts. Muscles sore.” He fell back into the bed in an incredibly overdone, over dramatic flop, clutching his chest like a Shakespearean death scene. “Eros, you've killed me with your endurance.” He stuck his tongue out like a child feigning death.

Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe how incredulous Yuuri was. How tired and sore and hungry and thirsty he was. He put a hand over his mouth and giggled, then burst into delirious laughter. He ended up crying beside Victor, holding his sides.

“Ooooh, it hurts to laugh,” he agreed. He was confused beyond belief. Was Victor still affected by hormones? Was he running off some kind of post-show high?

Victor pulled Yuuri back into his arms, humming gently and smiling again. Yuuri had his answer. Victor was still flush with hormones telling him _protect_ and _hold_ and _care for_ his omega. Victor was just slower to leave that state than Yuuri.

“Can you move to the bathroom? We should probably wash off. I'm kind of hungry, too, so we should get some food in the two of us before we go back to sleep,” Victor said.

“That might be good,” Yuuri mumbled. He didn't want to wake Phichit if he didn't have to. God only knew how worried Phichit must have been when they just didn't stop.

And anyway, if Aria needed to take care of his omega, it would be smartest to just let him, right? Yuuri didn't know a ton about alphas during ruts beyond what everyone knew, and what he had seen on Victor’s show in previous years. But that was something everyone knew, right? It was just instinctive to care for omegas. It didn't mean anything at all.

Yuuri felt a dull ache in his chest. This was all going to end soon. He closed his eyes and let his head fall onto Victor’s chest. Might as well enjoy it while he could.

Maybe he was as terrible a slut as he always thought he was.

Eventually Victor forced himself to stand. He groaned as he did, a little shaky on his feet. He stopped by his desk. A mini cooler was sitting there, waiting. He popped it open and beamed.

“Your friend is brilliant,” Victor said. Yuuri heard the sound of shifting ice and saw him pull out two bottles of Gatorade. “Red or blue?”

“... Blue,” Yuuri said. Victor cracked it open and handed it over, groaning a little with every step.

Without his glasses, everything was so blurry that Victor looked like an old man, fumbling and hunched as he lurched through the dimly lit room. Yuuri suppressed a little smile. It was still a far sight better than what he'd be able to manage right now.

If Yuuri was able to limp to the bathroom, it would be a miracle.

He groaned as he dragged his hands down his stomach. “Ugh. Victor. Why are so big?”

“Both my mom and dad were… ahaha, also endowed,” Victor chuckled. “Both alphas, you see. Mom didn't think she'd ever have kids. But here I am! I didn't stand a chance.”

Yuuri wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond. Victor didn’t give him a chance. He leaned over the bed to peck Yuuri on the forehead. As he drew back, he paused, just looking into Yuuri’s eyes with a heartbreakingly fond smile.

“Was it good for you, at least?”

Was that even a question. He would have enjoyed it even if all Aria had done was bend him over and take him from behind for the entire time. But Eros… Eros had been a miscreant, an absolute horny shit, and Aria had responded appropriately. It had been creative, passionate, interesting. Aria was a showman through and through, keeping things fresh and interesting the whole time. Eros had loved it, too.

“It was amazing,” Eros said, drawing out a lazy smile. “I didn't expect anything less from you.”

Victor beamed. “So much faith in me, Eros, I'm flattered. Come on, would you like me to help you to the bathroom?”

Yuuri hesitated. He wasn’t going to make it there alone. But to depend on Victor… Victor offered his hand, and Yuuri used it to at least shuffle across the bed, whimpering with every movement.

“Sorry, sorry,” Victor kept apologizing.

“It's fine, don't worry,” Yuuri assured him. “You said you topped Chris, right?”

Victor looked sheepish. “Yes. And a few others. But only as much as I tried to do in the beginning.”

Yuuri frowned. In the beginning, Victor barely even pushed in halfway. They'd only ever gotten that much? Eros purred in the back of his mind, possessive and pleased. “So I really am the only one who’s taken you that deep?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes. And even Chris was sore for days. I'm so sorry, Eros, it's just, I sort of lost control a bit once you took it all? I shouldn't have been that hard on you, I really tried to hold back.”

Yuuri hummed, and a little smile curled across his face. “Mmm. You could have been harder, I think.”

He wanted to slap himself. How could he say something like that when he already couldn't move?

Victor’s eyes were a little wider than normal. He sucked in a little breath. “Eros. You will be the death of me.” He swore softly in Russian and laughed again, reaching to pull Yuuri out of bed and into a princess carry. He huffed, and Yuuri felt a bit precarious in his arms.

"Aaah, is this the best idea?” Yuuri asked, clutching a little tighter. The flooring was carpeted in soft, plush white, but even so, it would not feel pleasant if it hit his tailbone. Victor took a slow step, and then another.

“I'm certain. My fault you can't walk, after all!” He sounded a bit falsely cheery, or maybe he was just straining. Yuuri tucked his face into Victor’s neck.

The scent was so distractingly delicious, soft like roses, sharp like winter, and so rich with the deep musk underneath.

Victor brought them into the spacious bathroom, depositing Yuuri neatly on the toilet seat where he hissed and groaned at the act of sitting upright. It was at least taking pressure off his ass and shifting it to his much less pained thighs. He leaned back and sat as still as possible. As long as he didn’t move, he could almost get used to this position.

Sitting there, it was possible to get a new angle on the situation. He had a better view of his back (which was, much like the bed, covered in cum) and all of the bites and hickeys that had been left there. It was mildly impressive, the level of dedication to which Aria had marked him up. It was almost like it was his job.

Oh. It was. Yuuri flushed.

Victor busied himself with drawing a bath, groaning with every movement and taking breaks to chug more of his drink. Yuuri sat back and watched, slowly polishing off his own bottle of hydration and electrolytes. Maybe he was admiring the view, just a little.

Yuuri had never been overwhelmingly shy about his body and showing it off. He had grown up in an onsen surrounded by all sorts of naked bodies, old, fat, skinny, and young alike. Nudity wasn’t that big of a thing. Yes, he hated the period of time in which he had been fat, but that had been as much a disappointment in himself for letting himself fall out of shape, however briefly, as it was about insecurities about his size.

Even now, Yuuri was still a bit plush. He was a dancer’s weight again, but there was a distinct thickness to his thighs, hips, and ass that would probably never go away, thanks to his nature as an omega. He was muscular and flexible, but still a bit curvy. Phichit said it was sexy. Yuuri was going to take his word for it, though he didn’t see how being a little rounder than the average dancer was supposed to be overly appealing, except for the swell of his ‘glorious’ ass (according to Phichit).

But Victor. Damn. Victor was tall, muscular without being hulking, lean as a swimmer with the same broad shoulders and tapered waist. His ass looked like it was carved out of marble for the express purpose of explaining how divinity could be found on earth. His abs were chiseled into his stomach and rippling with muscle, still messy from their activities earlier. And his hair. Even sex-tousled and mussed, it was beautiful to see. Maybe especially because of that.

Victor looked up and smiled. Yuuri clutched at his heart. That smile made him so weak.

If Yuuri wasn’t particularly shy, then Victor was proud. Not haughty, but confident. He was beautiful. He knew he was. And he didn’t think twice about showing it off.

His hands were quick and deft as they turned the faucets to hot, adding in oils and things that smelled sweet and soothing.

“Like what you see?” Victor hummed, winking. He sashayed his hips when he caught Yuuri squinting at him. Yuuri bit his lip and sputtered. Aria laughed again, and even that was beautiful.

“Don't worry, I find the view on my end pretty remarkable as well. How hot do you like the water?”

Yuuri was blushing. Victor wasn't proud, he was _shameless_. Yuuri was so weak. And he was the one who was supposed to be seductive and irresistible. “Hot as you can make it. I'm used to a little heat.” His wink felt more like an awkward twitch.

Victor smiled all the same. He twitched the handles, adjusting the temperature and running  his fingers through the water. With three taps pouring water, the large bath filled fairly quickly. Steam rose off in clouds. They finished their drinks.

Victor rose to his feet again, switching the taps off. He laid out towels nearby and gathered Yuuri back up in his arms, huffing as he did so.

“I'm not too heavy am I?” Yuuri asked, worried.

“No, I’m just a little sore,” Victor assured him, carrying him up to the edge. To Yuuri’s surprise, he stepped over the side of the bath.

Yuuri tensed.

“Relax, Eros, you look so nervous around me. Haven't we gotten past all that?” Victor crouched, easing them both into the water. Yuuri hissed at the sudden warmth, and then let out a soft moan. Not hot spring hot, but definitely warmer than the cool air of the bathroom.

Yuuri flushed. “We’re… ah… bathing together?”

Victor looked startled. “You don't mind do you? I just assumed, well, given the last day, you know, that it wouldn't be an issue. Is this weird?”

Yuuri tried to catch his breath. This was normal. This was what Victor did. Bathed double with his show’s guest afterward. Right. Yuuri bathed with strangers all the time, before he left for school. And given their activities the last two days...

“It's fine,” he said a little too quickly. This was fine. He forced himself to relax beside Victor.

The hot water felt nice. And Victor’s skin also felt nice. The oil made the water smell sweet, slightly fragrant, but not overpowering. It was a large enough bath for them to spread out a little. Victor pulled him right into his lap.

Yuuri cried out a little from the pain, and suddenly Victor’s scent was around him, soothing and worried, wrapping around him like a blanket. This was closer to sitting upright than before, and it hurt. It hurt. Ohhh it hurt.

His asshole was wrecked.

Victor was making soothing sounds into his neck. Yuuri tried to force himself to relax. He could feel the pull to fall into the scent, an instinctive reaction so soon after his heat.

It was so bad. He closed his eyes and let Victor pull him into his arms.

They washed each other's hair, at Victor's insistence. Yuuri tried not to feel guilty about how nice it felt to have Victor’s fingers rake over his scalp, pull his hair, to feel attended to. How Victor scooped careful cupfuls of water up with his hands to rise out the soap, because moving to dip his head would have set Yuuri’s spine screaming once more.

Washing Victor’s hair was a different experience entirely. Realistically, Yuuri knew that he'd been pulling Victor’s hair for the last 24 hours, even used it to tug Victor around when the alpha had blown him.

But Victor was such an untouchably wonderful creature, someone so close to perfection that Yuuri still didn't understand exactly what he was doing here, lathering soap through Aria’s wet hair, cleaning out the bodily fluids. This was crazy.

His mind was clearing up slowly as he washed himself.

He reached the space between his legs and paused. “Don't mind me,” Victor hummed. “Do what you need to do. Unless you want help?” He smirked suggestively.

“I've got it,” Yuuri said quickly. He pointedly ignored Victor’s gaze, sliding his fingers inside himself, hissing at the pain. He didn't stay quite as loose as he had been earlier. His body was already making attempts to tighten. But even so, Yuuri marveled at how easily he fit his fingers inside to clean away the remaining slick and seed.

Unfortunately, his fingers didn't reach quite as far as Victor’s cock had. Well. Looked like he'd probably be leaking for a while, unless he particularly felt like fisting himself open to reach deep enough. And with the painful ache of even those few fingers… no, not an option.

He tried to distract himself as he finished up, and instead found his thoughts falling into a gutter of anxiety. He needed to think about other things. He needed to be Eros.

How would Eros treat his lovers the morning after? It wasn't something he'd devoted much time to thinking about, but now it made Yuuri regret never going over it with Phichit. Yuuri couldn't think of a single thing to say or do.

Maybe because Eros wouldn't have done the morning after thing at all. Eros would have had blazing hot sex and then put his clothes back on and headed out for more. What a slut.

A wave of sickness rushed through him.

There was still several more days of this. How was Yuuri going to survive? How could he look Victor in the face after all the things he'd done? Surely Victor would be disgusted once the haze of the protective phase of his rut passed. Surely Victor would hate how easily Yuuri had given himself over, how much he'd begged, how desperate he'd been-

“Eros,” Victor said.

Yuuri nodded slowly, because he'd almost flinched and that wouldn't have been Eros-like at all.

“I imagine you'll want to take it easy today?”

Yuuri clutched the distraction like a lifeline. “Ah, well, I was hoping to sleep a little more,” he admitted lamely. He was dead tired still, and would have slept a lot longer if it hadn't been for the chafe of bodily fluids on his skin. Being clean was very nice, even if he was ready to die, sharing a bath with Victor like this. “And Yuri invited me to his stream later…”

“What?” Victor sputtered.

Yuuri blinked. Had he not mentioned it? “Ah, yeah, he said he'd crush me at video games. I thought it would be something easy to do. And I feel bad for what I've put him through, so I figured him beating me at a few games would make it a little better.”

Victor was picking his jaw up off the floor of the bath. “Wait, you said Yuri invited you to his stream?”

“Yes?” Yuuri said. “He said he and his friend were streaming today. I haven't seen his shows before so I don't know what to expect. You haven't been on, have you?” As big a fan as Yuuri was, he was almost positive he would have remembered if Aria had done anything with IceTiger.

“Never,” Victor said. “Trust me, I've tried. He's one of the premium let’s players on the internet, and he knows it.”

“But you're cousins,” Yuuri said, confused. “He won't let you on his show?”

“No, he says I- wait, you know we’re related?” Victor said, and somehow he managed to look even more impressively shocked.

“He said you two don't make a big deal out of it,” Yuuri confessed. “I'm sorry, is it supposed to be a secret? I haven't told anyone.”

“Yuri told you-” Victor broke off. A few emotions flashed across his face almost faster than Yuuri could read them. Surprise, contemplation, confusion, glee, and then more confusion. “Well, I’m just surprised is all.”

“Why doesn't he let you on his show?” Yuuri asked.

Victor shrugged. “I suppose he has his reasons. He tells me it's because I'm, quote, ‘an idiot and bad at video games’ but obviously that's not the reason, because he loves tearing apart new players. I think he just doesn't want my name associated with his.”

“Oh,” Yuuri said. It made sense. It did seem strange for a Let’s Player have a famous camboy on his show, even if they were related. It must be Eros’s relative anonymity that made him being on a possibility.

Yuuri yawned, vision going blurrier than before. He sagged against the wall of the tub. He felt ready to nod off, the warmth and exhaustion proving to be a devious combination. Victor chuckled, smiling warmly.

“Well, I'm very glad you two are getting along. He was so mad when you two met, I was worried he would be furious the entire time. You know, I'm jealous of you, Eros. This is quite the honor from the little kitten. He doesn't have many guests, and not for lack of want. He's a prickly guy.”

“He's not so bad,” Yuuri murmured. Victor leaned Yuuri back against him. His expression was painfully fond.

“Come on, let's get some food and grab a few more hours of sleep. Would you like to rinse quickly in the shower? Clean off the… ahem…” he gestured vaguely to the dirty water.

“Mmmm…” Yuuri hummed noncommittally.

Victor scooped him back up. Yuuri yelped. He dripped onto the tile as Victor carried him across the bathroom, bringing him into the luxurious shower stall.

“Grab that handle there for me?” Victor asked, hands full of Yuuri, glancing pointedly at an alien fixture set into the wall.

It looked absolutely unlike any shower fixture Yuuri had ever seen. Why were shower fixtures always so different from one another? He offered Victor a baffled, unamused look.

“Just give it a tug,” Victor said.

Yuuri threw him a loaded gaze. “Just the handle?”

Victor sputtered and swore, red glancing across his cheeks. “Eros, keep that up and you might just have to clean yourself out again.”

Was that a threat? Eros would have made the comment. But Yuuri was very sore, and his libido was mildly more in control now that his heat was over.

Yuuri snorted and smiled. “I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. Mmm… thank you for helping me,” he said softly, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder. “I'm really tired.”

He reached a hand out, fumbling for the handle. He turned it, and Victor bumped it into place with his elbow so the spray fell steaming and hot. He eased Yuuri onto the shower bench.

Victor fiddled with the array of controls and eventually switched the spray from the shower head to a stream of jets set into the ceiling, falling onto Yuuri’s shoulders like a waterfall.

Yuuri let out a pleased sigh, closing his eyes. “Ooooh, wow, that feels nice. Can I stay here forever?” Victor made a weird noise. Yuuri opened his eyes and saw Victor touching his chest, moving to face the shower doors. After a moment, Victor turned back with a bright smile. “As long as you like, Eros, although my water bill may disagree with me.” Yuuri hummed happily.

They cleaned up the rest of the way. Yuuri was nodding off when Victor turned the water off, bundling Yuuri into a soft towel and patting him dry. Attentive alpha.

When Victor moved to pick Yuuri up, he stopped him. It still hurt, but his muscles felt a little looser from the hot water, a little less tight, and Yuuri wanted to stand and stretch, even if he knew it would be agony. He also didn't want to fall asleep without eating, and he really didn't want to feel so guilty about having Victor carry him to the kitchen.

He might have also doubted whether or not he'd get there without being dropped. Victor wasn't going to hold out forever, and Yuuri was a grown man, not a waifish girl Victor could hoist around with impunity.

He put a hand to the wall to steady himself. Deep breath. He rose up slightly and almost passed out. “Oooooooohhh… fuuuuuckkkk,” he sighed, breathing deeply.

“Eros, I can carry you-”

“No, please,” Yuuri huffed. He shook his head. One more try. He pushed himself upward and groaned. The pain was deep and aching, but Yuuri bulled past it, wavering on his feet. “Ahhh, oooh, it hurts,” he chuffed, rubbing his spine with one hand and his groin with the other.

He bowed his head. Painful, but he was upright on his feet. He took a limping step forward.

Victor braced an arm under his shoulder, and lightening the load on his lower back actually made it a little easier to limp out of the shower.

They worked their way slowly to the dark kitchen, groaning and swearing from tired muscles, sinking into chairs with tired sighs. Victor glanced longingly at the fridge.

“Eros, it's so far away,” he whined.

Yuuri’s head hit the table. “I can't. I can't move, Victor.” Sitting hurt, but it was better than standing, so long as he didn't put too much weight on his tailbone. The air felt cold on his damp, naked skin, drops of water rolling down his face where they fell from his hair. The towel around his waist didn't do much.

Victor groaned and pushed back to his feet. He shuffled to the fridge. There was a container of more vegetable soup, as well as more substantial meals.

Victor tossed something into the microwave. It quieted while they ate. Both were exhausted, and the conversation lapsed into the soft clinking of cutlery. Victor helped him up, and they collapsed into the guest bed, right into the partial nest of pillows and blankets, dead on their feet.

Victor pulled him close, his scent heavy and sleepy.

Yuuri’s eyes fluttered. “Thank you,” he murmured. “For taking care of me.”

“I'm glad to do it,” Victor said gently.

* * *

"They're alive!” Phichit cried, throwing out his arms. "Aaaand... you're naked."

Victor had an arm around Yuuri’s waist, helping him limp into the kitchen. Yuuri couldn't even muster a protest.

It was around ten, and Phichit had been flopped in a chair, flipping through one of Victor’s magazines. Yuuri couldn't make out the name, but from the assortment of colorful vibrators pictured on the front, it had something to do with sex toys.

“Good morning,” Yuuri croaked. His throat somehow hurt even worse. Hydration had been only half the problem, it seemed. The other half could likely be attributed to the screaming and the deepthroating.

“I went to check on you when I woke up, and you weren't in bed, so I guess you guys got up sometime last night and cleaned up?”

Victor nodded. “We moved to the guest bed. I've got someone coming in later to deep clean, so she’ll take care of the mess. She's usually here around noon. Did Chris leave?”

“Yeah, around midnight. We shitposted about your stream. People went crazy over it. You guys know you trended on twitter?”

“I heard something about that. That tag hasn't trended in two years, so that's amazing!” Victor said brightly. He helped Yuuri into a chair. Yuuri whimpered, but managed to contain most of the pained noises. Progress.

Phichit snorted, and his eyes flickered from Yuuri to Victor and back again. “Look, as handsome as you both are, and as much as I like the ‘call of the wild’ thing you've got going on, could you two please stop pretending to be nudists? It's day two without clothes, it's time to stop.”

They'd lost their towels somewhere in the guest bed. Victor didn't even have the courtesy to blush. “Ah, I usually don't wear much the next day. Don't worry, I've got a robe I can grab.”

Yuuri was mortified. Victor padded off.

“Phichit,” Yuuri hissed. He eyed the hall Victor vanished down.

“I'm just saying what I think,” Phichit said with a shrug. “And the hickeys are _very_ impressive, Yuuri,” he added impishly.

Yuuri blushed darker. “Oh my god, please, stop,” he gasped.

“What? You don't want me to talk about your love bites? You two were something else, you gotta give me something to discuss. Hey, I know. What about Victor’s-” Yuuri clapped a hand over Phichit’s mouth and glared.

Phichit said something incomprehensible. Yuuri pulled his hand back slowly, suspicious.

“I _said,_  I'd lick your hand, but I don't know where it's been,” he said, eyes sparkling.

“Phichit!” Yuuri cried.

“Okay, okay, no talking about the hickeys, or Victor’s gigantic dick, or where hands have been.” He looked at Yuuri with a devilish grin. “We can talk about other things. Like… _‘oh, Aria, Aria, give me your babies, Aria~’_ ” he moaned, then stuck his tongue out at Yuuri.

Yuuri flushed twelve shades of red. “Phichit, that was the heat of the moment and you know it.”

“Heat of the moment, sure,” Phichit laughed. “Just saying, some of the viewers kind of lost their collective shit over that one, good and bad. Chris and I couldn't fucking breathe, we were laughing so hard.”

“You are the worst best friend I have ever had-”

“Victor!” Phichit said happily. Yuuri whirled. Victor was coming down the hall in a loosely tied robe that barely fell to his thighs, although it seemed he'd put on some underwear. A long expanse of his neck and chest were exposed, showing off all the purple marks. “Glad you put the weapon of mass destruction away.”

“Holy fuck, Phichit,” Yuuri swore, but his eyes were skating back to Victor, who was laughing.

“I'm sorry, I don't usually have guests over. I forget myself.” The way he said it, it almost sounded as if he spent most of his time alone in this apartment lounging around naked. The thought was doing terrible things to Yuuri. 

“I'm sure Eros doesn't mind,” Phichit chuckled. Yuuri glared at the damned traitor. Maybe it was Yuuri’s imagination, but it almost looked like Victor flashed an appreciative look toward Yuuri, something tucked inside a smile and a soft laugh.

“I can start breakfast. What would you two like?”

“Get this boy some carbs and protein,” Phichit said, pinching Yuuri’s ribs. Yuuri batted his hands away with a scowl.

“Eggs are fine,” Yuuri said, remembering him making them a previous day. The day Victor had fed him. Oh, that was a thing that had happened. Please let no one ever mention that again, thank you. “Don't worry too much.”

“So, you said the Extravaganza was well received?” Victor asked as he busied himself with eggs and cubed pieces of ham and shredded potatoes.

Phichit nodded. “Yeah. It started par for the course, from what I heard. Standard ratings, maybe a little higher. We did some good promotional work with the right people. Chris said that the two or three hour mark is where it really hit its stride, though. People started tweeting their friends, and it started getting out there a bit more. I might have egged it on a little.”

“Naturally,” Yuuri snorted.

“I mean, the people who normally watch porno cam vids were all over this from the get go. This is the event of the year as far as these things go.”

Aria, over the years, slowly trickled off how much sex he had on camera. Reinvention, he called it, always coming up with inspired new subjects to entertain. Sometimes it was sexual, and other times it was something like hitting the surf, or skating until he dropped. Sometimes Aria just sat on camera and talked for hours.

So when Aria cammed his rut (something so goddamned ridiculous that only Aria could dare pull it off, despite the numerous failed imitators), people tended to watch. He was poetry in motion, no matter what he did, and it was fascinating to see what new thing he would do.

“But then you got the people who tend to watch normal, pre-recorded porn, who got curious about all the hype. And then they started telling their friends about this hotter than hell alpha and his sexy omega counterpart going at it on the internet where anyone could see, and people got really curious. Even the ones who weren't in it to get off were watching, just because they got curious. I got analytics!” Phichit cheered.

“Please don't turn this into your senior project,” Yuuri groaned.

“I won't make any promises,” Phichit sniffed, shuffling a few conspicuous papers.

“What's the breakdown?” Victor said. He cracked the eggs one by one, replacing the shells in the carton. The entire dozen went into a bowl.

“Tell you later, it'll knock you dead,” Phichit said, tucking the papers away. Yuuri dropped his head onto the table, groaning from the pain. He really didn't want to hear this right now. Feedback was always the scariest thing. If he did well, then people’s expectations changed and he had to be better. If he did poorly, they all thought less of him, knew how shit he really was at all this.

It was a double edged sword, and it was easier to just keep it at this cruel schrodinger’s paradox of bad and good where it could be either and neither at the same time. Numbers made it too solid. Numbers were scary.

Yuuri pretended to be a placemat until a plate and a pile of clothing was slid in front of him. He flinched back, hissing in shock and pain, running his spine.

“Damn, Vic did a number on you,” Phichit said. He gestured to the folded clothes. “If you think you can stand, maybe put on some panties? Your cute little bubble butt looks cold.”

Yuuri groaned. “Have I ever mentioned I hate you?”

“Love you too, Eros. Now drink your water.”

He would have to get dressed eventually. He knew that. He was actually pretty cold right now, and now that Victor was in clothes, it was a little embarrassing to be the only one completely naked. But standing up was a daunting task, and really, Victor wasn't _that_ dressed. And being naked around Phichit was like wearing work clothes, at this point. 

“So, Eros, I was wondering, is Japanese your native tongue?” Victor asked. 

“Huh?” Yuuri asked. He prodded breakfast, and suddenly felt ravenous. He restrained the urge to shovel and instead took a few steady bites.

“Well, there was your greeting at the airport. And I noticed that when you were… particularly into it, you said some things that weren't entirely clear.”

“I was born in Japan, but I don't…” Yuuri frowned, trying to remember when he had spoken Japanese outside of the few words at the airport.

“Eros, when he was getting you real good, you couldn't English at all. Just a babble of Japanese. You've got a dirty mouth, Eros,” Phichit teased. He waved his phone. “Someone already posted translations of what you said, and damn, I am so proud of you.”

Yuuri huffed at him. “Who is translating- nevermind, what did I say? He worried at his lower lip as Phichit unlocked his phone with a wicked grin.

Phichit thumbed around for a lot less time than Yuuri expected. “Hmm.” He glanced over the screen and began to recite in the flattest, most disinterested, almost sarcastic voice he could muster, “Oh Aria. Please. Give it to me good. I'm going to cum. So big, so fucking big. I love it when you-”

“Ok that's enough!” Yuuri announced. He suddenly didn't want to hear any more.

Victor looked immensely pleased. “What was that last part?"

“Something about hands that I'm forbidden from mentioning,” Phichit said, tidily locking his phone and setting it aside.

Both Victor and Yuuri groaned Phichit’s name in unison, probably for different reasons. Yuuri stabbed his fork into his eggs, starting into the meal. It was a good thing Victor had made as much as he had. Between the two of them, it wasn't likely to last long. 

After a lull, Victor reached across the table to draw Yuuri’s hand into his own. “Eros, until Yuri’s stream starts, is there anything you would like to do today? Anything at all.”

“Um. What do you normally do after the show?” Yuuri asked, eyeing their hands together and trying to ignore the way his pulse was suddenly skyrocketing. Oh god. What to do. What should he do?

“Normally Chris and I would get drunk and read YouTube comments. Sometimes with his boyfriend. I swear, that man when drunk could give even you a run for your money, Phichit,” Victor chuckled. He crinkled his eyes at Yuuri. “But we can do whatever you want. I want to make today something special for you.”

Yuuri couldn't speak.

What did you do after having a very public mating with someone you met for the first time half a week ago? Was there even a precedent?

With one night stands, you bailed. Yuuri knew that from movies. With heat partners, you usually were either in a long, committed relationship, helped out by a trusted friend, or paid someone who usually left the morning after.

And it was so tangled now, because if it had been disappointing, it would have been so easy to go home when all this was done and just forget about it. But Yuuri could practically still feel Aria fucking him just sitting on this chair, feel the memory of the ache and burn and delicious pleasure from being torn apart inside and out. Still feel his fingers running through Yuuri’s hair.

Staring into those warm, blue eyes, Yuuri knew one thing. When he went home, nothing would he the same. There would never be anyone like Aria. No one else to challenge him, bring him to the brink of satisfaction and make him beg for mercy, and then turn around and look at him with such softness in his eyes.

No one who lit up when Yuuri started talking figure skating, who treated his poodle like a member of his own family. Yuuri had seen Victor sneaking treats to Vicchan and telling him, ‘now, don't tell Eros! Our little secret!’ and wink, then turn around and scruff Makkachin behind the ears like she was his favorite thing in the world. _Cute._

And then that man, Yuuri’s idol and crush and the figure of _years_ of pent up longing, swiped his thumb gently over the back of Yuuri’s hand and smiled.

Yuuri was ruined. Well and truly destroyed. He didn't even know where to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I never expected to write: anatomy lessons for my version of imaginary dicks. Um. But it might be important? And I want to reply to everyone at once. I'll probably explain more of my version of A/B/O anatomy in later chapters. 
> 
> Victor is big. I intended to leave exactly how big up to your respective imaginations, because it's much more fun that way. But for those who want to know, he's at the minimum 14 inches long and thicker than a soda can. (Because Bad Dragon XL usually caps out right about there-ish, for point of reference, and Victor is bigger than Yuuri’s biggest toy) What he is beyond that is up to you, all the better to please Yuuri ;D He's bigger than just about any alpha in the room, that's for sure.
> 
> Alpha dicks have a knot at the base, just above the balls. It's like a weird, fleshy, balloon-like organ that sort of inflates, holding the two lovers together for about 30-35 minutes. It's fixed there, but there's some give the same way the skin of your arm gives if you pull on it. When it swells, a dick that’s 8 inches around (cough, the size of a soda can, cough) would probably have a knot that's about 12 inches around. Get a bendy ruler. Make a circle. Basically Victor’s bigger than that. Ouch. Lucky Yuuri. 
> 
> With all that in mind… I made a tumblr! I've never had one before so I'm just gonna go for it. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aurum-auri That's a lie I don't know what to do with it someone pls send help. I'm not so good at the digital art thing but I love pencil sketches so maybe you'll see some of those. How do lewd Victuuri doodles sound?
> 
> I'm sorry the updates are slowing down, they'll probably continue to slow down a bit for the next couple of weeks. I'm having a really hard time right now. Sorry, everyone.


	8. Eros vs IceTiger vs DJBek: Ultimate Battle Royale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication is hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are just the best, you really are. Thanks so much for your support. (and your reactions to Victor’s size were simply amazing, they brought the biggest damn smile to my face) (I was actually going to type 12 inches but then I kinda said fuck it and changed it to 14?? I’m so glad I did because the comments were priceless) Also, thanks for being patient with me on tumblr, I seriously still have no idea what I'm doing Dx
> 
> I reblogged this ---> https://somethingyoirelated.tumblr.com/post/159834123131/yuuri-or-rather-eros-from-aurum-auris-camboy-au <\--- on my tumblr, but I wanted to share it here, too, because it's an absolutely amazing drawing of Eros Yuuri and he just looks so damned perfect. I had some people ask about how to share fanart. I don't really know much about tagging on tumblr, but I've been using AEOMfic for all of my AEOM-related stuff, so I think that would work if you wanted to share things with me? Or you could just post the link in the comments here, or send it to me in an ask. I'm not good at finding these things myself D: 
> 
> In response to some of the comments, I've put more of my A/B/O info at the bottom. I almost had all of this in the previous chapter but I removed it because I didn't want the note getting too long. I kinda regret it now. Eh. Oh well. I'll just dump it all now, so this’ll be the longest end note ever.
> 
> (I wasn’t going to give Chris’s boyfriend a name because the thought of calling him Chris’s mystery boyfriend the entire fic amused me, but I changed my mind. Also, I do kind of really like the Japanese fanon name for him)

 “And Arthur’s not still trying to horde all the food from the others, is he?” Phichit fretted.

On the other end of the line, Guang-Hong laughed. “Don't worry so much, Phichit, they're all doing fine. And Stuart has only gotten out once since the last time you called. Seung Gil found him under his bed.”

“I just worry about my babies,” Phichit sighed into his phone. He knew Guang-Hong would take care of his beloved hamsters, he knew they were in good hands, but he couldn't help but fret over them. The trio of roborovskis were fickle little things. They didn't take to unfamiliar environments.

Phichit would have tried to bring them along, the way Vicchan had come with them, but flying three tiny hamsters to LA was very different from flying a toy poodle, especially when his hamsters were renowned escape artists.

“I know, I know,” Guang-Hong said. “We won't let anything happen to them. So, are you and Yuuri having fun?”

“Tons. I've been shopping like there's no tomorrow. My wallet hurts. And I think I killed Yuuri. He's laying on the couch pretending to be a couch cushion.”

“Oh no!” Guang-Hong said, although Phichit could hear the warm smile. “Too much walking? Are the beaches even warm this time of year?”

“I mean, it's pretty warm, but we aren't spending much time on the beach. We've made a few friends up here, and they're good about getting out of the tourist traps.”

“That's exciting,” Guang-Hong hummed.

Phichit smiled. It wasn't even a lie. With Yuuri so busy over the last few days, Phichit had been able to do a little exploring of his own. Chris and Masumi (he'd finally found out Chris’s boyfriend’s name, and wow, that was so much harder than he ever thought it would be) were better hosts than Victor, honestly.

It was so obvious that Victor only had eyes for Yuuri. When Yuuri walked into the room, it was like everything around that man just disappeared. It would have almost been creepy if Yuuri didn't do the same thing right back.

Obvious mutual pining aside, Victor tried to be a good host. But he was a busy man, and he was trying to spend any time not on camera and not producing his own shows with Yuuri. So Phichit fell in with Chris, and it was probably for the best anyway. Even if he was trading one spot as third wheel for another, Chris and Masumi were a lot more open about including him.

Also, it was better than sitting on the couch watching yet _another_ movie.

“They're a pretty fun group, and they've got the best ideas about where to go for some fun. Chris and Masumi, some guys we met, are dragging me with them on a pub crawl tonight since Yuuri's going to be busy with some other friends. Gonna be great.”

“Sounds like it. Don't drink too much! How is Yuuri holding up? He seemed a little anxious when you guys were leaving, and you didn't talk about him much yesterday.”

They had talked a little bit yesterday, but not for long. He and Chris tried to keep their lunch break short.

Between the long hours of watching the most ridiculous sex marathon Phichit had ever seen, managing twitter, and shitposting on 4chan like they weren't totally invested in the success of the show, he and Chris had snuck away for a brief meal with Masumi when it seemed like things were stable and thoroughly under control.

Victor’s hired help took everything completely seriously, and for that, Phichit was appreciative. He didn't even have to explain why they needed to delete any derogatory comments about Eros, or fend off the waves of people who thought they knew better about what Eros should be doing with his life.

Seriously. Did people have nothing better to do than to watch streams and insult the people on them? Keeping them out of sight from Yuuri was a full-time job, and it was one Phichit took deadly seriously. Getting paid for it helped, but Yuuri’s mental state was damned important, too.

Thankfully, it went without saying that the shills, naysayers and slutshamers would be mercilessly, brutally kicked, even if Yuuri had been so out of it he couldn't even take a few sips of water, let alone glance at the provided monitor showing the comments.

“He was pretty busy yesterday. We both were, really,” Phichit said simply. “He's exhausted, so he's taking it easy.”

“That's important. Don't forget, vacation is supposed to be relaxing!”

Phichit smiled. “Don't I know it! Tell Seung Gil I said hey, and give my hamsters belly scratches from me!”

“Will do,” Guang-Hong said.

“Our flight is leaving around 4 tomorrow, so it might be a bit late when you pick us up. Sorry, it was the only flight we could get back.”

“Don't worry about it! Just bring me back something amazing and we’ll call it even,” Guang-Hong said with a smile.

“Don't worry, we've got you the best surprises. You're going to love it. Talk to you later!”

“Bye!”

Phichit set his phone aside, falling back on the bed.

He was feeling selfish, and it left him feeling guilty. Second thoughts? Or were they third, or fourth, some later, half-regretful contemplation about whether this was the right thing to do.

Phichit had never actually started this endeavour with the plan of getting Victor and Yuuri together, even if it had morphed into a goal along the way. Yuuri’s success was Phichit’s success, and that was the bottom line. They were friends, and Yuuri’s happiness was absolutely important. Yuuri had only dreamed about having sex with Aria for years, so making this happen was a pretty simple choice.

And, sure, Phichit loved the idea of his friend being happy. As soon as he saw how absolutely smitten Victor was, how much the man adored Yuuri the way he deserved to be adored, Phichit was overjoyed. And Victor wasn’t scared off by Yuuri’s bout of anxiety at the party...

Above all, though, the man made Yuuri happy, and that was the most important. They were both idiots, but right now, they were idiots who were blindly in lust, at the very least. Too soon to call it love or like, but well on its way.

It didn't really hit home until after breakfast. After the video.

Sometimes Phichit wondered if he'd made a mistake, pushing Yuuri into this. He'd only wanted Yuuri to be a little more confident in himself. But now things were twisted.

It wasn't just friendship anymore. It was business, too, and along they way, they stopped being just two guys sharing an apartment to save on living costs while going to school. They were coworkers, and sex was income. Yuuri’s public image was currency. His stream payed rent. His insta bought groceries. And that was all because Phichit’s job description was to bottle up all that innate charm of Yuuri’s and put just the right bow on it to show the world.

Phichit had a vested interest in keeping Yuuri healthy and happy and in the spotlight, and he _hated_ it sometimes. Times like today.

Phichit grabbed his phone, pulling the video back up.

Yuuri needed to know. He was a grown ass adult and he deserved to know. It was too important not to tell him, and yet Phichit hesitated.

It wasn't the end of the world. Yuuri probably wouldn’t see it that way. He'd take one look and think everything was over. It really wasn't. It was just something they would have to deal with.

But things would be different from now on, Phichit could already tell.

* * *

Yuuri really didn’t mean to sprawl out over the _entire_ couch. But he really wanted to watch the movie with Victor, even if he was blind as a bat, and sitting upright hurt too badly. And then Victor had patted his lap and smiled.

“It’s alright if you want to lay down, Eros. I understand if you’re in pain. I really am sorry.”

There was a few inches of space between them on the couch. Yuuri was afraid to sit any closer. Victor’s body language seemed open enough, his arm on the back of the couch behind Yuuri, his legs uncrossed. Yuuri felt stiff by comparison, his wrists crossed in his lap and shifting in discomfort.

And why not? There was something that needed to be said about how to act when you're sitting beside a stranger you just had mind blowing sex with.

“Please, there’s no need to worry,” Yuuri mumbled. He squinted at the screen. He hadn’t put contact lenses in, and getting up to put them in required walking to the bathroom. Nope.

“Do you want your glasses? I can get them for you,” Victor offered.

Yuuri flinched. “Glasses? What- what do you-” He broke off.

“You wore them during your preheat, right? Do you prefer contacts?” Victor continued. He paused the movie.

Yuuri had forgotten. In the haze of bliss and warmth and nesting hormones, the only thoughts in his mind of making himself as comfortable as possible beside his potential mate, the divisions had blurred. The sharp lines dividing Eros from Yuuri became less distinct. The reason they needed to stay separate at all had been forgotten. The existence of a line was a blur.

Yuuri had worn his glasses. He’d worn them in front of Victor. Victor had seen Yuuri.

And more than that. Yuuri touched his forehead, letting out a strangled sound. His bangs were brushing his eyebrows, his hair messy and bed-tousled and definitely not slicked back.

Yuuri’s hands began to shake. “Eros?” Victor asked. “Is something the matter?” He leaned closer, looking concerned. Yuuri shook his head.

“N-no! Everything is fine!” He flushed, and Victor placed the back of his hand against Yuuri’s forehead.

“Are you still feeling dehydrated? Does your head hurt?” Victor asked, and oh god, he didn’t have the slightest clue what he was doing to Yuuri, did he? He was, without a doubt, so much kinder than Yuuri had ever anticipated, and Yuuri didn’t deserve any of this. This was so wrong to take advantage of Victor’s kindness, his generosity.

“No, I’m fine, really,” Yuuri managed. “I’m sorry, I just... I’m not… I don’t like wearing my glasses?” he suggested, gritting through the lie. He hated contacts. His eyes hurt. The thought of putting them back in made his eyes ache almost as bad as his spine. But there was no way Yuuri could ever put the dorky blue frames back on in front of Victor. “They… ah… hurt the bridge of my nose.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve never worn them, so I don’t know?” Victor said, smiling again. “You were so cute in them, though! It had a sexy librarian feel. Very attractive. Hmm, Eros, do you think I’d look good in glasses?”

“I’m sure you’d look good in anything,” Yuuri said. He bit his tongue. “I mean, you know, you have the right face shape for- well, I mean, you wear sunglasses so-”

“Eros, you're so sweet!” Victor said, looking far more delighted than anyone had the right to be. “Are you certain you don't want your glasses? Even if they're uncomfortable, wouldn't it be better to see?”

“Ah, no, it's fine,” Yuuri said. “My vision isn't that bad.” Lies. Everything more than six inches away from his face was a blur.

“Well, if you're sure…” Victor said, the smile falling a little. “Are you sure you don't want to spread out a little? I promise I don't mind.”

Eros would do it. Eros would purr like a contented omega and sprawl over Victor’s lap. Maybe even rub up against Victor just to tease, just to feel the hard length grow harder beneath him…

Yuuri was going to chew his lips off at this rate, if he didn't stop biting them so hard.

Sitting up hurt. Laying down was a thought Yuuri had been debating half the morning, but he didn't want to seem so forward. It was Victor’s couch, he had no right to take the whole thing. Victor patted his lap again. Beckoning. Maybe… it would be okay.

Yuuri tipped delicately forward, trying to keep from brushing against Victor as much as he could. Moving dragged a few swears out of his mouth. He tried to keep them muffled.

He sighed as he settled. It took the pressure off, exactly like he thought it would. Victor unpaused the movie. It was hard to focus on, with Victor’s legs beneath his head.

At some point in the film, fingers combed softly through his hair. The touch was light, and Yuuri was reminded of the way Victor would absently pet Makkachin, skimming his fingers through her fur. Habit, probably. Over the last week, if there was one thing Yuuri had noticed, it was that Makkachin was as much of a cuddlebug lapdog as Vicchan was, despite being much larger. Victor probably didn't even know he was doing it.

Yuuri closed his eyes. Watching the blurry screen made his head hurt worse than it already did. Painkillers and another bottle of water could only do so much.

Was this what relationships were like?

Even without prior experience, it was so easy to pretend. Victor was one of those people who made you feel warm inside. Made you feel like you mattered, like he cared what you thought. He pulled Yuuri close without a thought, smiled, and when they talked, it was like things just made sense.

It was strange. Yuuri disliked physical contact on general principle, but the memory of Victor’s touch left him buzzing like an alcoholic drink. Maybe it was exposure, since Phichit’s touch didn’t make him jump away either. Yuuri and Victor had certainly spent a great deal of time wrapped up in each other during preheat. And when Victor ran his fingers through Yuuri’s hair, unthinking and soft, Yuuri fell into the touch.

When Yuuri opened his eyes again, he saw the light had shifted. The movie was over. Time had passed, and the fingers curled in his hair were motionless, settled at his nape. Victor snored softly.

When Yuuri shifted, he heard a yawn, and the fingers stirred, raking deliciously up his scalp and smoothing back down.

“Your hair is really soft,” Victor hummed sleepily. His voice sounded so sweet and rough when he was half asleep. “It looks nice pushed back, but it's so soft without the gel in it.”

Yuuri winced. Damn, damn, damn, now was not the time to be Yuuri.

“Really?” he mumbled. “Don't you like it better back?” Everyone liked it better pushed back. That's why he did it. It looked styled, put together, confident and sexy. It was Eros.

Victor made an indecisive noise. “Can't decide. Pushed back is very sexy, Eros, but messy hair makes you irresistible.”

“Not really,” Yuuri scoffed.

He looked like a child without his hair fixed. He looked immature and unattractive and sloppy and that was good. Yuuri could still feel the fingers pushing across his scalp, the nails dragging sweetly over the skin. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to doze off on Victor’s thighs again.

“Ah, but it's true,” Victor said. He could hear Victor wake a little further with each word. “I don't know how to describe it. It's like… hmm. Everyone gets to see you dressed to kill. You're always put together on your shows. But do the others ever see your hair tousled by sex and sleep?” Victor grinned. “It makes it feel special.”

“It isn't special,” Yuuri breathed. “It's just-” He broke off. Just Yuuri.

“Why wouldn't it be?” Victor asked.

Yuuri frowned. “Well… No one really wants to see that. They want to see me dolled up. Even on my show, it's never the truth. I'm sure you understand. The real aftermath is ugly.” Slightly smudged makeup, a scant few strands escaping his carefully styled hair to fall, ever so artfully, onto his forehead, the smears of white on his skin like body paint, all of that was deliberate. The artfully debauched look. His breath caught. “No one likes a real mess,” Yuuri sighed.

Victor placed a finger to his lips. His expression looked thoughtful.

Yuuri glanced away. “Don't read too much into that. It's just how it is. If I showed up on my stream with my hair down and no makeup, my viewers would abandon ship.”

“I doubt that. They all love you. I saw the comments.”

Yuuri turned his attention to the expensive-looking tile on the floor. Everything in this apartment looked expensive. How did Victor afford all of this? Even if he was making ad revenue, pulling in big tips, and privately solicited by wealthy sponsors who wanted exclusive shows (and Yuuri might have done one or two of them himself), it didn't explain Victor’s nonchalant extravagance.

His lips were chapped from all the biting. He pulled his lower lip back between his teeth. Admitting the truth felt like pulling teeth. “Phichit moderates them heavily. Not everyone is so nice. It's just easier to pretend everyone is nice if I don't see when they aren’t.”

“You're not wrong,” Victor sighed. “But they do adore you.”

“They like what I provide. They like that I'm-” A slut. “-willing to show them what they want. They're nice because they get what they want.”

“And you get what you want back, right? But that doesn't mean you have to spend your life pleasing them.”

“I don't,” Yuuri said. “That's why I'm in school. This was always just a way to make ends meet. A way to…”

He trailed off.

“Get off?” Victor suggested. Yuuri winced, immediately rattled. Of course Victor remembered their discussion about kinks. “Trust me, I understand, Eros. It’s thrilling, doing all of this where people can see you. Having their eyes on you while you touch yourself, playing little games by yourself in public and wondering if anyone suspects. Does that make me a bad person, Eros?”

“Of course not!” Yuuri said quickly. “You’re Aria!”

“And why does being Eros make it any different for you?” Victor asked.

Yuuri paused. “Because… well, you don’t have to. You do it because you want to. I can’t… I can’t help it! And that makes me a-” Yuuri broke off, but for once, Victor didn’t say anything. He just left the silence open, waiting for Yuuri to continue. Yuuri clamped his mouth shut audibly, bile rising in his throat.

“Eros…” Victor tipped Yuuri’s chin up. He was frowning. “This is something that bothers you, right?” Yuuri didn’t answer. He couldn’t. “I’ve done this for a few years, there has to be something I can do to help. But I can’t unless you tell me what the issue is.”

Yuuri shook his head away. He could practically feel the hairline fractures splinter across his self-control. His hands were trembling. His breath was catching.

“Please, Eros. Let me help you. Just tell me.”

It didn’t matter how badly he wanted to say. How much he wanted to open up, how it tore him up not to say. That last stubborn string of pride held his tongue. Aria couldn’t know. Aria would think less of him. He could feel his insides quivering like jelly. He was going to be sick. He closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands.

“It doesn't even matter,” he ground out, body jerking with an abbreviated shudder. Even revealing that much felt so shameful, an admission of guilt. Something was wrong. Yuuri knew it. But he wasn’t going to say, and no amount of prying was going to change that. He was rigid as a board in Victor’s lap. He tried to relax.

Victor sighed, long and heavy. The hand started to pet through Yuuri’s hair again, combing through until the tension began to ease out of his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Eros. I don’t… I really don’t know how to deal with… other people’s emotions. If there was something I could just do-”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Yuuri said. “Just… just pretend none of this happened.”

“Would that make you happy?” Victor asked solemnly. Yuuri sniffled. Victor bowed his head, and Yuuri felt the soft press of lips against the crown of his head. “If you’re ever ready to say, I’m here. Until then, none of this ever happened. Alright, Eros?”

“Thank you,” Yuuri breathed. He swiped his hands over his eyes to clear away the faint dampness gathering there, looking away. “I’m sorry, I’ll pull myself together. I don’t know what got into me.”

Victor pulled his chin back up. His brows were furrowed, almost like he was angry. “Eros, please don’t apologize. You have done _nothing wrong._ I want to be someone you can rely on. If you’ll let me? This world isn’t always kind, and trust me, I know that. As someone who’s been there before, I can be a resource for you. Let me be there for you.”

Yuuri looked up at him. Victor’s expression melted into something soft.

“You don't have to do this on your own. Please, Eros.”

Yuuri’s lower lip was quivering. He was going to cry. Oh god, this was so embarrassing. He was going to cry in front of Aria, and he just couldn’t stop.

But the thing was, if there was anyone in the world who knew about camming, knew the struggles and issues that Yuuri would face, wouldn’t that be Victor? A resource…

Victor smiled hopefully. Yuuri managed a weak smile in reply, helpless in the face of that beautiful expression. “Thank you,” he said gently. It wasn't a real answer and he knew it.

* * *

Once Yuuri had calmed somewhat, Victor settled into an easy conversation about some of the horror stories he endured on and off camera. It wasn't the most subtle distraction ever, but Yuuri came to appreciate it all the same, despite some initial reservations. Some were even unintentionally hilarious.

It was a slow process. But with each new story, it became easier and easier to pretend that nothing had happened.

The anxiety lessened so slowly, but it did, and that was amazing enough as it was. But then something amazing happened. He laughed. Victor was funny. His stories were ridiculous. Yuuri had never dreamed that suave, classy Aria could be such a goof. But he was, and it was hilarious. First it brought a smile, and then somehow along the way, the laughter crept up.

“-he said it was fine, and I figured, you know, he built the bed, so it had to be, right? But when the two of us were finally really getting into it, not even ten minutes into the stream, I hear the sound of creaky wood again, and crash! Suddenly we’re on the floor, and the bed’s just collapsed!”

Yuuri was howling with laughter. “I think I remember that stream! I was watching!”

Victor’s eyes were glittering. “So the two of us are on the floor, and he's _still_ inside me, cameras still rolling. And we just stare at each other in shock, because that just happened live. He's the first one to recover. He pulls out and starts swearing in _Finnish_ and I'm just laying there, wondering how the hell this happened, because I can't believe this guy’s bed just collapsed-”

Victor was gasping for air, laughing so hard the story was punctuated by almost constant bouts of giggles.  

“And as soon as I start laughing, we cut the stream, because no one wants to see a hairy guy stomping around the ruins of his bedroom while I'm rolling on the mattress cackling at him-”

“Oh god, what happened after that?” Yuuri laughed.

“So he pulls on a robe, I'm still naked as the day I was born, and he goes outside and he screams at the sky for what has to be a solid ten minutes. I don't understand a word he's saying this whole time, but goddamn, he's _pissed_.”

“But why was he screaming at the sky?”

“I don't know! And then Chris comes out after us, and he tells the guy to calm down, and he's throwing a robe at me because apparently even though we're all alone in the middle of the woods I can't be flashing people-”

“Victor! You have to wear clothes outside!” Yuuri was in so much pain right now, laughing still hurt, but damn if it wasn't the best kind of pain.

“But _Eros,_ you're supposed to take my side!” Victor whined.

“Not if your side includes public indecency,” Yuuri cackled. His cheeks flushed at the thought.

Victor wagged his eyebrows. “What were you thinking just now, Eros?” he teased.

“You're _terrible,_ ” Yuuri groaned, even if he was the one who was picturing Aria stretched out nude in the woods and laying across a bed of leaves.

“We finished the stream on the broken bed, by the way. Now come on, come on, you have to tell me one story,” Victor said. “One thing from your show.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, still smiling. “I don't have a lot of stories, not like you.”

“But there has to be something! I told you all my embarrassing ones!”

“Well,” Yuuri hummed. “There was this one time…” Victor perked up immediately. Phichit mentioned it to his viewers enough. “Okay. Well, it was towards the beginning of my run, and I didn’t know that much about… ah… well, sex toys,” Yuuri said awkwardly.

Victor nodded.

“Well, I didn't realize why so many of them had flared bases,” Yuuri continued. “Or what could happen if I got a little creative with one that didn't…”

Victor’s lips made an ‘O’. “You didn't,” he said.

Yuuri rubbed the back of his head. “So… ah, when I got… a little stuck, I called for Phichit. He was in the next room, but he was already barging in, shutting off the camera, and freaking out about as badly as I was-” Yuuri chuckled, flushing a little. “Worst ER visit of my life, I was so embarrassed I couldn't even explain it to the nurse, Phichit had to do it-”

Victor was nearly in tears from laughing. “Oh no, you couldn't get it out at home?” he asked.

Yuuri clutched his sides, shaking his head. “It wouldn't budge! So they pull me into the OR, and I'm _terrified_ , I've never had surgery before in my life. And I'm dreading everything, I'm having all these thoughts of having this dildo stuck inside me forever, because no one can pull it out. Then the second they anesthetize me, it just pops right out! I threw that thing away right there, and I swear those doctors got a good story that night. I couldn't look Phichit in the eye for a month.”

“I had something similar happen, but I managed to get free by myself. Explaining to Yuri the reason for the naked squats was much harder.”

“Nooo,” Yuuri cried, laughing harder. “He must have wanted to kill you!”

“I woke up the next morning missing one of my eyebrows,” Victor said. “He even left the rest of the Nair on my bathroom counter, the little shit.”

Yuuri wheezed.

“So did you remove the other or draw it back on?” Both of them jumped at the question. Phichit was leaning over the back of the sofa.

“Removed it. But it was too much forehead for one man. Yuri said I looked like an alien,” Victor said with a grin. He glanced at his phone in surprise. “Oh, wow, it's almost time to leave, isn't it?”

“What? Already?” Yuuri said, confused. He could have sworn that only a little bit of time had passed.

“Yeah, let's get you fixed up. You're still dropping me off at Chris’s after we drop Eros off, right?” Phichit said, turning to Victor. Victor nodded. “Excellent. It might not be one of my productions, but I want to make sure Yuri knows that if anything goes wrong, it's his own head. Eros’s image is very important.”

“I don't think anything will happen,” Victor said. “Yuri is crass and irresponsible, but he takes games and his show seriously.” He glanced at Yuuri with a grin. “He's like a kitten. He might claw and bite, but when it comes down to it, he's a cuddly thing with what's important to him.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. I still don't understand why he invited Eros onto his show. Or when. Seriously, Eros, when did you plan this?”

Yuuri shrugged. “Does it matter? It sounds fun.” He sat up slowly, letting out a long groan as he did so. “Ugh. Time for more painkillers.”

Victor braced an arm under his knees and another around his back and stood, grunting under the weight. Yuuri yelped and held on.

They headed to the car as soon as Yuuri was fixed up, contacts burning in his eyes, makeup impeccable, and dressed in the most conservative thing in the Eros wardrobe (skintight jeans and a cowl-necked shirt that tried valiantly to hide most of the hickeys). Victor’s deep v-neck tshirt did not offer the same modesty.

Something quiet inside of Yuuri was a little thrilled by how Victor showed off the marks littering his throat and collarbone. Another part felt insanely guilty.

Yuri’s apartment wasn't as nice as Victor’s, but it wasn't bad either. It looked like a similar level to what Yuuri and Phichit shared back in Michigan. Victor scooped Yuuri up again and carried him to the elevator.

“I can walk,” Yuuri protested. He was actually feeling a little better right now.

“Eehhh… you can limp. This might be faster,” Phichit observed. Yuuri flashed him a glare over Victor’s shoulder. Phichit darted ahead and knocked on the one Victor indicated. He stepped back.

Yuuri was fidgeting as the door opened. “You can put me down, I promise I can walk.” Victor huffed in amusement and set him down.

Yuri was staring at them incredulously. Two dogs scrambled past, bolting for the door. Yuuri dropped to a crouch, wincing in pain, and was immediately tackled by both poodles. He scooped up Vicchan and scruffed Makkachin’s ears. He laughed as they licked his face.

“Aaah, Vicchan, did you miss me? I missed you,” he cooed. “Did you have fun here with Makkachin and Sasha?”

“No, Makkachin, you're supposed to run to me!” Victor whined. “Traitor!”

“God, Victor, just take your stupid dogs and go,” Yuri grumbled. “And why the fuck were you carrying Eros?”

Yuuri chuckled nervously. “Ahhahaha… um. I can't walk that well right now?” He glanced at Victor, who offered a sheepish look.

Yuri flushed red, like he hadn't been expecting that answer. “Ok. That was way too much fucking information.”

A man with dark hair and a somber expression stepped around the door behind Yuri. DJBek. “Oh, hello, InnocentEros. Victor,” he said civilly.

Yuuri wanted to sink into the ground and be swallowed up forever. Oh, this was embarrassing. He put on his most apologetic face. “I'm so sorry about my behavior at your party, DJBek.”

“Don't worry about it,” he said. “I've seen worse from Victor in the past. You can call me Otabek, by the way.”

It was a throwaway line, but it was something Yuri had mentioned, too. Victor’s behavior when drunk. He didn't tend to drink on camera, and when he did, it was rarely more than a few drinks, never enough to get him past buzzed. Aria didn't get drunk on camera. Not like Eros.

Yuuri shifted. “You can just call me Eros.”

Yuri shrugged. “No one knows his real name. It's whatever. Come on, Beka. We've got to finish setting up. Goodbye, Victor,” Yuri said pointedly, glaring.

“Now look here,” Phichit started.

Yuri gave him a look fit to kill. “If you think you're going to give me some sort of talk about how to treat Eros, kindly fuck off. He's a grown ass adult and you're not his mom.”

Yuuri blinked. Phichit was speechless. Yuri plucked Vicchan from Yuuri’s arms and dropped the pup into Phichit’s. He pressed Makkachin’s leash into Victor’s hands. Behind him, Otabek stepped forward and gestured for Yuuri to follow. The trade off was bafflingly efficient. Suddenly the dogs were with Phichit and Victor, and Yuri and Otabek were bringing Yuuri inside. Phichit grabbed Yuri and yanked him outside. The door slammed shut, leaving Yuuri alone with Otabek.

That was strange.

He whimpered and groaned as he pushed himself to his feet, Otabek offering a hand. “Ah, thanks,” Yuuri said softly.

“Don't mention it. I… Sorry, I didn't watch your stream yesterday. It isn't exactly my thing.”

“No, no, it's fine, I get it,” Yuuri said. He tracked movement out of the corner of his eye. A fluffy cat with a dark face padded across a shelf. “Your music is really good. I love your mixes.”

“Thank you. Your dancing is also impressive.”

“You've seen my dancing?” Yuuri asked.

“I keep track of online usage of my music,” Otabek said simply. “There are talented musicians out there doing covers and remixes. A lot of them are in the same position I was, so I don't mind. You seem to understand the meaning of the songs better than most. Yura and I have seen many of them.”

“Wait, Yuri has watched them, too?”

“Some,” Otabek said. He didn't elaborate. He didn't seem to need to. Otabek seemed like the kind of person who wasn't bothered by silence.

Yuuri glanced down at his shoes, watching the cat pad cautiously around him, sizing him up. “Vicchan wasn't too much trouble, was he? He didn't bark too much?”

“No, he was fine. Curled right up with Sasha. He was fairly rambunctious, but not bad.”

“Good…” Yuuri said.

The door slammed open and Yuri stomped back in. “Now good _bye,”_ he growled, slamming the door closed on Victor’s face.

“Wait, Eros, have fun, call me when you're done, byeee!” Victor yelled through the door. Yuuri cracked a little smile.

“Bye, Victor, thank you for driving me,” he called back.

“Idiots,” Yuri grumbled, turning around. “Come on, let's get the cameras rolling.”

“Isn't it a little early?” Otabek said.

“I feel like killing things. We can play smash until our viewers show up. Eros, I've got an extra laptop over there, that one will be yours.”

“Oh, I'm sorry, should I have brought a computer?” Yuuri asked.

Yuri shook his head. “Nah, this one is already set up for the stream. Plus, I bet money this one is faster than yours, and I refuse to stream laggy bullshit.”

Yuuri thought about his crappy laptop. He grimaced. “Fair enough.”

Yuri quickly explained how the camera setup worked and what the basic plan was, and then flopped onto the couch with an old GameCube controller in hand. “Good, let's get started.”

Yuuri was filled with a sudden sense of dread.

The stream started early, but there were already quite a few people milling around the chat displayed on the flatscreen. There was a visible surge in excitement when the stream went live.

The messages flickered past faster than Yuuri could read them.

“Slow day,” Yuri grunted into the camera. The chat surged again in response, stirred up by Yuri’s words. “Hey, everyone, IceTiger here. We're kicking things off a little early with some Melee until the hour.”

Yuuri saw a bunch of strange emojis crop up onscreen. They were meaningless to Yuuri, but Otabek was nodding like they meant something. He flashed Yuri a thumbs up.

“I got DJBek here again, and InnocentEros is also here to get his ass kicked. Guys?” Yuri glanced up from the opening sequence of the game. Otabek sat on the couch beside Yuri, leaving the last section of sofa open. He nodded wordlessly at the camera in greeting.

Yuuri sat with a wave and a sly smile, barely repressing the pained cringe. “Hello, wonderful to be here.” He frowned at the TV under the camera. It was a big CRT shoved into a corner, about the only piece of technology in the place that didn't look brand new. Even the flatscreen on the wall, while not huge, looked like a better choice for playing.

“Is there a reason for playing on the shit TV?” he said.

Yuri gaped. Otabek pinched his lips together. It almost looked like he was holding back a smile. Yuri hissed, “Shit TV? Did you just say shit TV? Oooh, Eros, its fucking on. You're getting destroyed.”

“I already got destroyed yesterday, didn't you see my stream?” Yuuri teased, settling into his persona. The hickeys had to be peeking out. Yuuri tugged the shirt back over the ones that weren't dressed in concealer.

Yuri glowered at the chat stream on the flat screen TV, which was flooded by… red emojis, of all things? Hotdogs, or… no, they were staplers. “Yes, he's _that_ Eros, shut the fuck up about it. We’re not talking about sex on my show. Eros, no more innuendo. Flat ban.”

“What are they asking?” Yuuri asked, studying the flying chat log. It was indecipherable to him. How Yuri gleaned anything from it was a mystery.

Otabek studied it for a second. “Mostly wondering if you were with Aria yesterday? And why you're here today.”

“I was invited. I like video games, even if I'm not very good at them.” He caught a snippet. It seemed to be a practice thing, reading the chat. Yuuri was not good at it. He didn't know if he wanted to be. “Why was I invited?” Yuuri shrugged. “Honestly, I don't know.”

“Enough chatter,” Yuri said, bringing up the character selection screen. “Eros is here to play, and that's all I'm gonna say on the matter. So either watch the fuck on, or fuck the fuck off. We’ve got games to play.”

He chose Captain Falcon right off the bat. Otabek grabbed Fox. Yuuri stared at the characters with a grimace.

“I'm really not good at this one,” he said.

“Doesn't matter, you'd be creamed even if you were decent,” Yuri said. The flash of the challenge was like a struck match. Yuuri picked Marth.

They ended up on a map featuring a few ledges, but it was flat and mostly empty space.

“Where are the items?” Yuuri asked.

“Turned off. They're a distraction.” Yuuri watched as his character was manhandled and pitched off the screen. All the button mashing in the world couldn't save him. He heard a distant, ingame scream as Marth lost a life. Fox and Captain Falcon began to duke it out.

There was a frantic, focused clicking of controllers as the two moved faster than Yuuri thought was possible from the game. They ducked, dodged, rolled, moving across the screen much more easily than Yuuri could. His character respawned. He tried to get a swipe in, and he was killed once more.

“Ok, what the hell, Tiger,” Yuuri growled.

“No mercy in melee,” Yuri replied, brawling with Otabek again. He pitched Otabek off the side, but Otabek recovered. It didn't work well, though, because Yuri delivered a stunning aerial blow with his knee before bouncing neatly back onto the map. There was a canned scream as Otabek lost his first stock.

Otabek huffed. “Damn, I always forget the knee.”

Yuri grinned. “Get good, Beka.” Yuuri spawned again and started to play. When he was pitched off the side again, this time he managed to recover, even swiping at Yuri with his sword and doing a bit of damage. Then he was grabbed and thrown again, and the knee dropped him right off the map.

“Ok, what the hell, how are you doing that?” Yuuri said. Even Phichit wasn't this good, and Phichit was pretty good at this game, Yuuri thought.

“I'm frame perfect,” Yuri said, like that meant anything to Yuuri. “Most of the time. Little out of practice. Haven't played in a while- fuck.”

There was a scream. He'd just killed himself. He glanced at the chat, which was now flooding with emojis again. “If any of you guys say anything-” he broke off as he respawned. 

Yuuri was hiding now. It wasn't easy, because Fox rained down a hail of bullets when Yuuri tried. He couldn't even close the distance. Yuri dropped behind him and tossed him. Yuuri threw his controller at the couch as he lost his last life.

“Wow, I am really bad at his,” he said, trying not to sound horrendously bitter at losing so badly. He hated this game. Phichit always beat him anyway. 

“Well, what else would you want to play?” Otabek asked.

Yuuri glanced at the pile of games strewn around the GameCube. A grin split his face. “You have Mario Kart.”

Yuri narrowed his eyes. “You're on.”

They switched games after Yuri won the bout. Yuri picked the hardest difficulty and brought up the character selection screen. Yuuri nabbed Baby Luigi and Toad before the others could, and then selected a kart that resembled a green baby carriage. He sat back, smug. “This time, you're going down,” he said confidently.

Yuri looked just as smug. “Just you fucking wait. Bowser’s Castle. Go.”

Yuuri felt the familiar tingle of competition. He grinned. They started on a dimly lit map dripping with lava, the path leading inside a castle. Yuuri dropped back slightly to be in last before hitting an item box. A blue shell appeared. He could feel his smile turn devilish. He screen peeked until Otabek and Yuri were neck and neck, closing the gap, and let it go, nailing them both.

“Vengeance!” he cheered as he rocketed past them.

The items flew, and it was vicious. Yuri wouldn't take the early-game blue shell lying down. Yuuri rocketed through the shortcut, drifting at the exact right moment to give him a much needed boost. Yuri slammed into the wall and lost precious speed.

“Holy- what the fuck was that?” Yuri yelled. Yuuri stuck his tongue out. Otabek missed the shortcut entirely. A red shell/blue shell combo knocked Yuuri out of first and into last. There was screaming. There was chaos. A chain chomp launched him back into second.

It was a grueling fight, right to the bitter end. Yuri hit a banana peel at the last moment and spun out, and he got third behind Yuuri and Otabek. They were all screaming.  

“That's it, the gloves are coming off,” Yuri said. “Rainbow Road. Let's go.”

“You mean my _favorite map?”_ Yuuri said slyly as the countdown started. “Come on, baby alpha. You can't beat me.”

“What's that, omega? I can't hear you over the sound of me winning!” Yuri yelled, rocketing into first immediately. They hit the first block of items. Yuuri got both of them as mushroom speed boosts.

Yuri cackled. “Ha, those things are a death sentence on this map-” he broke off as Yuuri rocketed past him, nimbly dodging past the banana peel Yuri had left and solidly cemented his position. He hit each turn with precision, drifting neatly with each one and boosting his speed.

Yuri bulled forward, boosting himself on the on-track boosts. The kart inched closer and closer to the edge and he suddenly went flying off the screen.

Yuri gaped. Beside him, Otabek was shrugging, having also fallen off.

“Come on,” Yuuri teased. “Get good.”

“Ohohoh, you asked for it,” Yuri said, smirking.

They spent the next twenty minutes racing until the hour changed over. Yuuri heard a clock chime from the direction of Yuri’s kitchen. They finished the last intense race, howling with laughter and screams as Yuuri was knocked off the bridge of DK Jungle’s map right before they crossed the finish line, and Otabek clenched the gold.

Otabek was much quieter than the other two, but even he let out wordless grunts of frustration when he fell, or small chuckles when he released an item.

They sat back, grinning when it was done. The rankings on the screen showed Yuuri solidly in first, Yuri in second, and Otabek bringing up the rear.

“I guess you're not bad at this,” Yuri said simply, nodding his head. Yuuri glowed.

“Not bad yourself.” Yuuri grinned at them both. “So what's next?”

“I was thinking Overwatch.”

The chat showed general approval, although there was some bitching about not getting to watch some other game, which was generally followed with graphics of spilling salt. Yuuri didn't get gaming at all.

Yuuri avoided looking at the chat as much as he could, which was easier than anticipated. The chat was so populated that new comments flushed out the old before they could be read. He could barely pick up the gist before the comment was whisked away, probably to the same mystical place where left socks and all the forks went.

For the best.

Yuuri strongly suspected he might have seen the word whore hidden in there once or twice. As long as he could attribute it to his overactive imagination, he could hold it together. Because he was paranoid, right? Recognition here meant being big enough to have people in other sections of the Internet recognize him. And that was just arrogance. Maybe it would be a thing for internet meme and mainstay, Aria, but not for Eros. A few could have gotten nosy enough to look him up, though…

Yuuri shivered and turned his attention to the laptop.

“You've got an account already, right?” Otabek asked.

Yuuri nodded. “One of my viewers bought the game for me. I've played it a few times on air with him. I'm not terrible, thankfully.”

“Right, so I'm gonna cover sponsors first while you two sign on, then we’ll probably play for two hours, take a quick break, run a giveaway, and then play for a while longer. Sound good?”

Otabek nodded, sliding into a spot on the couch with a very large laptop. Yuri perched on a desk chair that seemed to dwarf him. Yuuri signed on, glancing around the room while things loaded.

Viewers often bought him things. It seemed the same likely held true for IceTiger. The sheer volume of gaming memorabilia and paraphernalia had to cost more than the yearly rent on this apartment, and Yuuri sincerely doubted he bought all of it himself.

As they played, Yuri kept a running commentary that was occasionally supplemented by a comment from Otabek, or a command issued over the mike.

Frequently, it seemed, people recognized Yuri’s gamer tag. “Is that the real IceTiger?” was a common question. Sometimes people screamed over the mike calling him a troll who was using a soundboard.

The other players in the game were… bitter. The salt emoji cropped up a lot, especially whenever someone died, regardless of what team they were on.

Yuuri wasn't the best, but he pulled his weight at least, and he definitely wasn't the worst. By the end of it, the three had even worked out a system, and were quite efficient.

Between matches, Yuri rattled off gaming news off the top of his head. He was in his element. It was so strange. It was obvious that Yuri as a gamer and Yuri as a person were the same, but something in their natures seemed almost at odds.

Even when he was pissed, he was still respectful (to a degree) to other gamers. He would mercilessly, systematically destroy them, but he'd also make subtle digs that kind of worked as advice on how to prevent that kind of thing in the future. He yelled at Yuuri, but most of it was centered around Yuuri not being where he needed to be, and as soon as Yuuri got on position, they tended to start kicking serious ass.

It was hard to be mad at the little shit. He was devastatingly competent, he knew what he was doing, and he only ever seemed to really harp on the people who quit.

It was kind of fascinating.

Otabek, by comparison, was less experienced at the game than Yuri, likely because he spent so much time working on his own industry, but he wasn't bad, and he was better than Yuuri. He rarely commented, except to note someone’s position or ask for healing. But he didn't shy away from risks and he didn't get hot headed like Yuri.

They balanced each other out.

Yuuri wedged into the dynamic as a sort of exterior strike force. A stealth bomber, almost. He wasn't the most reliable shooter, but he had a knack for clever plays that resulted in wins, and he had a pretty good sense of the maps and where to go.

By the end of it all, when the soda and chips were gone, the giveaway winner decided, and the stream winding down, Yuuri had made some interesting realizations.

People in the game kind of recognized his username. Never to the extent of Yuri, but there were several people who made suggestive comments about yesterday's activities. More than he expected, frankly. Some were praise. Some were… a bit more condescending. Yuuri tended to mute them very quickly before he could find out either way.

People were very insistent that omegas couldn't be good at video games because they weren't competitive enough. That had almost brought Yuri and Yuuri to tears from laughing so hard, and then usually drove them to crush the other team in a competitive fury, Otabek tagging right along.

Playing video games with Yuri and Otabek was _fun_. Sure, they encountered the occasional shitty team of randoms, people could be assholes, and defeat was a constant worry, but they won more than they lost, and Yuuri was in the process of eagerly opening up a couple of new loot boxes while Yuri signed off his show, chattering almost amiably about something or other.

Yuri was a lot more civil on his stream. He still swore, but his rage targeted the opposition and anyone not pulling their weight. Instead of an aura of directionless anger, it was focused into a concentrated beam of drive.

They finished the sign off, and shut things down. Yuri swiveled in his desk chair.

“So.” Long, awkward silence.

“That was fun,” Yuuri said. “Thank you for inviting me. Oh, I have something for you!” Yuuri winced and stood, heading for the bag he had brought with him. He limped, still, but it was getting a little better as his body worked to undo the wreckage and tighten. Thank god for omega elasticity.

He dug through the bag until he found the yellow hoodie. He tossed it to Yuri. “I hope this fits, I guessed the size. I was shopping the other day and I thought you might like it.”

“Haaah? Why would you get me this?” Yuri scowled, unfolding the pile of fabric. He held it up.

“Oh, no reason,” Yuuri said with a smile. Yuri wouldn’t want a reminder of his good deed. “I got gifts for several people. Since I'm leaving tomorrow, I didn't know if I'd see you again, so I thought I'd give it to you now. Sorry, Otabek, I should have gotten you something. I didn't know you were Yuri’s friend.”

“Don't worry about it,” Otabek said. Yuuri still felt guilty.

Yuuri glanced back at Yuri. “Look at the hood.”

Yuri flipped it up, and his eyes went wide. “Wait,” he said. The hood was tipped by cat ears. Yuuri could see an unmistakable glitter in Yuri’s eyes. The look turned immediately suspicious.

“Did Victor tell you to get me this?”

“He doesn't know I did it,” Yuuri said with a shrug. “You mentioned you liked cats, you're always wearing cat prints, and you seemed to really love Sasha. So I thought, maybe you would like this. If you don't want it, I could return it and find something else-”

“Whatever,” Yuri huffed, looking away. He eyed the jacket with unmistakable joy. “Too much work.”

Otabek smiled. “Let's see it.”

Yuri hesitated, then pulled it over his shoulders. He popped the hood up. “How's it look?”

Yuuri beamed. It fit. And even if Yuri pretended that it was just okay, it seemed clear enough that he loved it. He glanced back at the laptops. The screens had gone to sleep by now. “Hey, Yuri, why did you invite me? And what would you have done if I didn't know how to play Overwatch?” It would have probably ruined the show to watch Yuuri drag the entire team down. Luckily Yuuri had at least enough experience to stay afloat.

Yuri scoffed. He was spinning in his chair. The hood, Yuuri noticed, was still up over his blond hair. “Like I wouldn't keep track of anyone playing games on a live stream. This is my livelihood. If I'm not reading about video games, playing video games, or talking about them, then I have to watch how others play them. So I watch lots of other people. I can't let others get ahead of me. So… yeah. I've seen you play once or twice before, okay? Which is why I told you to wear fucking clothes this time.” His cheeks were lightly pinked.

Yuuri blinked in surprise. “Wait, you mean…?” He remembered the last time he'd played Overwatch on stream. He'd been nude, save for a pair of lace panties and an unzipped jacket. He had gotten cold in just the panties.

Really, it wasn't his idea to start with, and the underwear had been a special request. Someone else just sent him the game, and when he revealed he had a Steam library with only a half a dozen games on it, he started to wake up and find people had gifted him things on his wishlist. That had been a strange feeling.

He didn't have anywhere to mail things, since he didn't even want people to have an idea about what state he was located out of, let alone know his home address, so it made sense that they bought him digital things. They wanted to see him doing the things they liked. They wanted to vicariously experience things through new eyes. Eros was just a pretty puppet who did what people asked of him because it was simple and easy.

But he didn't play them often, because the gaming stream wasn't his focus. His focus was on getting off, which was why he still masturbated on camera so much.

“So… you've seen…?” He trailed off delicately.

“No,” Yuri said sharply. “I only watch the gaming ones. Otabek shows me some dancing ones, too, but other than that, nope. I have better things to do.” He was blushing. He was embarrassed. Even if he didn't watch Yuuri's usual streams, payback was a bitch after that thrashing at Melee earlier.

“So you really didn't watch my stream yesterday? Aww, Yuri, I'm so insulted,” Yuuri teased, but he smiled warmly.

“Gross, like I'd want to watch my stupid cousin have sex, no thanks.” Yuri glanced at the sleeves of his jacket. “And… look, I know I said some shit when we first met. Victor just surprised me by bringing you out here, so… sorry I was an asshole.”

“You're always an asshole,” Otabek said, without any malice. It was just a statement of fact, and Yuri shrugged.

“Yeah. Kind of. But only because I'm pretty sure Victor does these things just to embarrass the shit out of me. That man has no shame!” Yuri hissed indignantly.

“No, he doesn't,” Yuuri laughed. “He walked out to breakfast this morning without clothes on and started to make breakfast. Phichit had to tell him to get dressed. He wasn't even sorry!”

“Sounds about right,” Yuri grumbled.

Otabek chuckled.

Yuuri hummed. “It's fine, I'm not upset. This was very fun. I'm glad you invited me.”

“We’ll have to play again sometime,” Otabek agreed. “You should let us know if you ever want to play a few matches. We don't even have to stream them, either.”

Yuuri smiled. “That would be fun. Ahh, but I don't ever check messages on my steam account?” he said. He paused. Was this a bad idea? Was offering to play again too presumptuous? Yuri was pretty famous on his corner of the Internet.

Would people be upset at Eros for playing with him? It was possible… but… if they didn't stream future matches… and it had been fun…

He could give them the burner number. But that changed so frequently. Yuuri growled internally. He'd been doing this all day. Being anxious. Being nervous. He took a deep breath. Yuri seemed like a good kid, and Otabek was probably the most chill person Yuuri had ever met. Playing with them had been almost as fun as laughing at stupid stories with Victor. And they probably wouldn't go off and do something stupid with it...

Yuuri nodded. “Um. Here, I can give you two my number. Just… ah… don't try and find me with it?”

“Like I care who you really are,” Yuri scoffed. “Or where you live. Just get better playing as Mei so we can keep mining the salt.”

Yuuri smiled. “I can do that.” He programmed his number into their phones. The odd, nervous, clenching energy was a bit distracting, but at the same time, no matter how scary it was, opening up just a little felt… good. Good, the way it had been to laugh at Victor's tales.

Yuuri smiled at his phone. “We should probably let Victor know we’re finished.”

“Honestly, I don't think there's a need,” Yuri said. He sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head. “I give it ten more seconds before he’s knocking on the doors. Maybe twenty, depending on the elevators.”

Like a stage cue, there was a soft knock. Yuri growled.

“Aaaand there he is.” He stepped around the couch and opened the door, revealing a beaming Victor. “Enjoy the show?” he snarked.

“Loved it,” Victor said, entirely unaffected by Yuri's brusque tone. “I had no idea what was going on but it was very nice!”

“I'm sure,” Yuri said. “Eros, your stupid alpha is here to pick you up.”

“He isn't- he’s not _my_ alpha,” Yuuri sputtered.

“Could have fooled me,” Yuri said. He jabbed his thumb at the ruined column of Victor’s neck. Yuuri flushed. Yuri scoffed at them both. “Ridiculous.”

Victor swept up behind Yuuri with the biggest smile Yuuri had ever seen. He wrapped Yuuri in a hug, surrounding him in a joyous smelling cloud of roses and wintergreen. Yuuri shivered. Why did Victor have to smell so damned good? It wasn't even his heat and that scent somehow still made him feel instantly more relaxed.

“I had no idea you were so competitive! Come on, you must be hungry, let's get dinner,” Victor chirped. His smile looked like a heart.

“Sure,” Yuuri said. “Are you two coming?” He glanced at the other two. Yuri was rolling his eyes. Otabek was looking at Victor with a curious look. Yuuri glanced back at Victor, but the man was smiling happily down at Yuuri.

Why was he so damn happy?

“I'm not hungry,” Otabek said with a shrug. “Too many chips.”

“I don't want to know, I don't want to hear about it,” Yuri said, shooing them out of his apartment. Yuuri looked at Victor in confusion. Victor smiled impossibly wider.

Yuuri blinked. “Oh, I guess it's just us, then,” he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine the salt when Victor finds out Yurio got Yuuri’s personal phone number first. Also. Try and guess my favorite scene. It might not be the one you expect.
> 
> If I got anything about the let’s play wrong, let me know. Stapler emojis are usually used in reference to innuendo or anything that would get referred to Human Resources (it's a dumb joke and I absolutely love it) while salt is for salt (obviously). Frame perfect in Melee means you can do the technical maneuvers that require exact frames to execute (and if you've never seen a professional SSBM player, shit is crazy) and it is basically really hard (Someone tried to teach me. They were not successful). The CRT TV is because HD TVs create input lag which, as you might guess, is bad when you're working on exact frames. A frame perfect player using a GameCube controller has a very distinctive sound. There's lots of specific, very rhythmic clattering. Kinda neat. Hopefully I picked games that were generally common enough for people to recognize.
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> **Super not sexy at all A/B/O info:**
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> During a heat/rut, if it's sex, it generally sounds like a good idea, with very few exceptions. Some people were annoyed with the switching. Which is fine, Yuuri in this fic does have a definite preference for receiving if it’s Victor doing the giving. And there's definitely going to be something made out of the events later. But I like switching, and the idea of Yuuri only ever being allowed to receive doesn't appeal to me. Damn right that boy wants to fuck Vic. Who doesn't? (Also I love bottom!Victor almost as much as I love hung!Victor). There won't be as much of it as I might usually be inclined toward, but it might happen again. I haven't exactly planned all the sex out. So. We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it!
> 
> Now the thing you guys were all so worried about: Yuuri’s butthole. Please, it's okay. Omegas have special back ends that are designed to withstand alphas, even particularly endowed ones like Victor. I mean, to be fair, normal assholes and vaginas are actually fairly forgiving. If you treat them right and prepare properly, you can stick big things in there without too much trouble afterward (please note I said carefully and properly, not going all willy-nilly about it, your body will thank you). But compared to betas and alphas, omegas are much more elastic, stretching farther, easier, and snapping back sooner, and they also self-lubricate. Basically, Yuuri is still wrecked, but far less wrecked than the average person would be. He just needs a little time to... recover. 
> 
> For omega males, I tend to subscribe to the ‘one hole’ cloaca concept, but calling the hole a cloaca, much like calling it a hamster hole (an aot abridged reference, yes), is not the most appealing to some people. Me included. I think of chickens, and chickens just aren't sexy to me. Sorry. But I'll try to keep it vague enough to float your boat whatever you think is most reasonable. I’m really not getting super in-depth into the science, because frankly there’s a reason I’m not getting an anatomy degree. 
> 
> Additionally, omega males tend to usually only be fertile during their heats, which happen 3 times a year and tend to last about a day, usually with an extra day of lead-up where hormones settle in. Alphas have a similar rut schedule. Suppressants for both are available but a bit costly, and are often subsidized to alphas because they get hella aggressive and people don't want to deal with that shit, let's face it. For omegas, there's a similar hormonal swing, you’ll notice grouchy Yuuri, but it's not quite as bad as with alphas, who tend to become hormonal assholes. Suppressants can often have annoying side effects, the way birth control does.  
> 
> Why is Yuuri not on suppressants even though he was always miserable during his heats? It does bad things with his anxiety. You ever see someone go from tears to rage to joy in an hour span? Medications that fuck with hormones can get crazy, lemme tell you. 6 or so days a year of heat related suck vs 365 days of crazy emotions? Hahahahaha no.
> 
> And since heats/ruts are an instinctive time to reproduce, talking about such matters during the do is extremely common.


	9. Date Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is oblivious and Eros is a ho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was never actually going to be spicy, but then Eros changed his mind and I'm just like haha ok Eros whatever you want.
> 
> I didn't think much about ages until just now. I wanted Victor to be his canon age, but Yuuri staying in college for so long didn't make sense when he doesn't have skating to distract him. So that's why I did this.
> 
> More beautiful fanart! ----> https://neoniichan.tumblr.com/post/160352204079/so-uhm-for-someone-who-wasnt-going-to-post <\---- is where to go to find a gorgeous Eros!Yuuri having some fun with Big Red from Chapter 1! I've got all of the art reblogged on my tumblr so feel free to poke around https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aurum-auri if you want to see the others! 
> 
> And, as always, thank you so much for your kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and your comments! I hope this answers some of the questions some of you had?

 

Victor took Yuuri by the hand and helped him to the car, moving slow enough to accommodate Yuuri’s remaining limp. 

“Did you have fun?” Victor asked. 

Yuuri nodded, smiling. “It was a nice change of pace. I don't play games often, so it was fun to take a break.”

Victor made a delighted sound. “Wonderful!” He opened the door for Yuuri. 

“Thank you. You really don't have to open the door for me, though,” Yuuri said.

Victor laughed a little. “I know I don't have to, but I want to!” His hands were fluttering, almost like they had a nervous energy. Yuuri took a seat, and Victor closed the door, darting back to the other side. He flashed another smile at Yuuri. It was stiffer than normal. 

Was something wrong? Oh god. Victor was upset with him, wasn't he?

Was it something Yuuri had done on stream? Was Yuuri too rude to Yuri on camera? He tended to shit talk when he got competitive. Maybe it upset Victor? Nonsense, Yuri talked more shit than Yuuri and Otabek combined, and Victor treated him the same. 

Damn. What if it was something about Yuri’s show? Yuuri avoided the chat, so he didn't know what people thought of it, but it had gotten significantly busier in the last hour or so. There was no way for Yuuri to even try to read any of the messages with how fast they raced past. Did something happen?

“What would you like for dinner?” Victor asked. He sounded calm enough. Yuuri tried to steady himself. He was just being anxious again. It was fine. There wasn't anything wrong. 

“Anything is fine,” Yuuri said. “I'm not picky. I can get it this time, too,” he added. Victor had been spouting nonsense the last week about how he could buy dinner for Phichit and Yuuri since he had flown them all the way out here on such short notice. Yuuri was feeling guilty. 

Victor shook his head. “No, no, let me get tonight,” he insisted. 

“You've gotten every night.”

“You’re my special guest, Eros, don’t worry about it. And besides, after everything I've put you through, surely this is the least I can do.”

Yuuri pinched his lips together. “I still think I should pay…”

Victor laughed. “I thought college students never turned down free food.”

“Well, I'm not exactly as broke as the average college student,” Yuuri said. 

“Ah, but neither was I when I was in school, and I still didn't turn down free food. It's not about money, it's opportunity,” Victor said, wagging his finger playfully. “Trust me.”

Yuuri felt himself smile. Victor’s grin was infectious.

“It's your last dinner here, our first dinner after a successful show, and Phichit is off with Chris and Masumi. Let me get it,” Victor said. 

Yuuri sighed. “I'm not going to win this argument, am I?”

Victor shook his head. “Not if I've got anything to say about it.” He winked. He paused. “Hey. Eros. Have you been online much today?”

Yuuri shook his head. “Not really, no. Why? Are people talking about the show? If they are, I don't think I want to know right now,” he sighed. 

Victor blinked, and then nodded. “Of course. Right.” His fingers drummed lightly at the wheel. With the top down, Victor looked more majestic than normal with his hair whipping around his face. He donned a pair of expensive looking sunglasses. 

Yuuri studied Victor out of the corner of his eye. He was still wearing that v-neck shirt from earlier, but he had added a sharp-looking jacket over the top to smarten up the look. It hid more of the hickeys, at the very least, although Yuuri hadn't quite decided if that was an improvement. As embarrassing as it was, Victor didn't seem remotely ashamed of them, and a quiet part of Yuuri was immensely satisfied. 

He tried to shut that part up. 

Victor wore dark pants. They were on the snug side, showing off his muscular, slender legs, although Yuuri did notice the wallet and cellphone in his front pockets were conspicuously located to disguise the front. Yuuri could make out only the faintest shadow of the line where Victor had tucked himself away. 

He was much smaller when soft. Yuuri had vaguely noticed that much during his heat, the way it grew under Yuuri’s fingers, fascinating and arousing at once. Yuuri bit his lip, a question springing to mind before he could quiet it.  Would asking be too invasive? Victor did say he wanted to be a resource, but that sounded more like camming-related information, and not something more personal. 

But Yuuri found himself achingly curious. “Um. Victor?” he said gently. 

“Mmm, yes?” Victor hummed. 

“I was wondering…” Yuuri broke off. Too personal. “Ah, nevermind. It doesn't matter.”

“Ask me anything!” Victor said. “I don't mind.”

Yuuri steeled his resolve. He knew how Eros would ask. “Well, Victor, how big are you? Not hard, of course, I know that. Soft, I mean.”

Victor grinned. “That was random. What brought this on?”

Yuuri glanced out the window. “Just wondering how you manage to buy pants,” he said as airily as he could. His eyes darted back to Victor’s crotch for a moment before skating pointedly away. 

Victor snorted with laughter. “It's not so bad. I haven't really measured, but I'm only about 8 or 9 inches when I'm not erect, thank god. It isn't so bad to just tuck myself down one pant leg or the other. I tend to prefer the right,” he added with a chuckle. “So sometimes I have a tailor let the leg out just a bit on that side.”

Yuuri glanced at Victor’s right leg. Yeah. Yeah, he could see that. The preference, not the bulge.  Victor wasn't being  _ too _ obvious about his endowment. 

“And if you're wondering about underwear, boxer briefs and compression shorts can make things easier, but I've got a distinct fondness for thongs.” He tipped up his shades and winked. “At a certain point, though, you accept that almost everyone is going to have a basic idea of what you've got.”

He slid a suggestive hand down his thigh, mapping out the line of his length through the jeans. He stuck his tongue out playfully.

“Dark pants work best. Sweatpants don't play as nicely, but khakis show the worst. Not much left to the imagination there.”

Yuuri could picture Victor in khakis. He probably shouldn't. But he did. His lips felt dry, so he swiped his tongue over them. He could almost hear Phichit teasing him for the dirty thoughts. 

“That's… interesting,” Yuuri said. “I… ah… don't really have that problem.”

“It's really not all it's cracked up to be,” Victor hummed. 

“But… doesn't everyone want a big dick? There's an entire industry built on it,” Yuuri said. He shifted uncomfortably. Omegas tended to be less endowed than alphas. In this particular circumstance… it was quite true. Yuuri didn't really want to feel emasculated, and he was average for male omegas, but it was a little hard not to be just a little envious. Especially next to Victor. 

“People are never happy with what they've got. I'm not complaining, but it's like I said before. You're the first person who's taken me all the way. And you have the list of the people I've been with,” Victor said. 

And Yuuri had seen a lot of them, too, playing out on screen. 

“It's a bit annoying, really,” Victor continued. “Do you know how many previous relationships ended in a heartbeat because they took one look at me without pants and ran out?”

“That's stupid,” Yuuri said. He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the thick feeling of Victor’s shaft sliding inside him, splitting him so deliciously open and going so mind numbingly deep. He shivered. His pants were feeling a little tight all of a sudden. He smacked his lips and tried to refocus. “They sound like they weren't worth your time anyway.”

Aria deserved the best. His fans (and Yuuri) agreed. Whoever he ended up with needed to be someone who was damned special. 

“You're so sweet, Eros,” Victor said. 

Victor removed his shades as they pulled up. The restaurant was a bit nicer than Yuuri had expected. 

“We’re eating here?” Yuuri said doubtfully. 

“Is that a problem?” Victor asked. “I can go somewhere nicer if you'd like-”

“No, that… that isn't necessary,” Yuuri said hastily, choking back the surprise. “Just… I don't know if I'm dressed well enough-”

“You look perfect,” Victor said. “You always do. Even when you're wearing your hair down.” His smile turned sweet. Yuuri hastily checked his reflection in the mirror. He didn't look bad. Eros always looked sharp even on his most casual days. And the cowl neck shirt was passably dressy. The makeup on his neck was faded, but at least it was still more decent than Victor’s. 

As long as he ordered something cheap, he'd probably be fine here tonight. 

It didn't hit him until they reached the table, the lights muted, the atmosphere soft with a low murmur of conversation, and the quiet clatter of silver against china. Victor pulled his chair out for him and sat opposite, looking into Yuuri’s eyes with a tender smile. 

Yuuri went very still. “Oh no.”

“Something wrong, Eros?” Victor asked. There was a flash of panic across his face. 

“Did Makkachin and Vicchan get dinner?” Yuuri asked. “Vicchan misbehaves if he's fed late and I really don't want him doing anything to your couch because he got upset.”

Victor let out a deep breath, looking relieved. “Oh, no, I fed them before I came to pick you up, don't worry,” he said. “Wow, you had me worried for a moment.”

“Ah, sorry,” Yuuri said. “I would just feel terrible if Vicchan did anything bad the last night we were here.”

“Dogs will be dogs,” Victor said. “Wouldn't be the first time a poodle messed with something at home and it probably wouldn't be the last.” He thumbed through his menu. Yuuri glanced inside and repressed a hiss. Oooh. It was pricier than he expected. The chicken dishes looked cheap. Or he could always get a salad… “The steak here is to die for,” Victor said. 

“Is it?” Yuuri said. He guiltily tried to keep from glancing at the steak menu, though he had made no secret of his preference for red meat and pork. It was too tempting, and steaks would cost much more than a salad. 

“Mmmhmm. The strip is delicious, but the porterhouse is divine. You'd love it, Eros. And leftover steak is the best midnight snack.”

Yuuri’s gaze skated to the page of the menu featuring the cuts of steak available. 

He muffled a wheeze inside of a soft cough. Damn those were expensive steaks. But he didn't want to offend Victor… “I… ah… don't really care either way,” he said delicately. “But I've eaten a bit heavily this last week, so maybe I’ll get something a bit… lighter?”

Victor nodded. “So the filet mignon, then? Less marbling, so it's less fatty, but still tender.” He set his menu aside with a smile. “Do you want wine?” Yuuri thought back to the party. Victor seemed to remember it as well. “Not to get drunk,” he added hastily. “Just to enjoy with dinner? I want to celebrate.”

“Oh,” Yuuri said, eyes going wide. “I see.” Celebration. Everything suddenly made so much more sense, and Yuuri let out a deep breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. Surely a celebration could justify… a small splurge. “So… I'm assuming the show went well?”

“Very,” Victor said with a grin. The waiter appeared, taking their orders. With his, Victor ordered a wine Yuuri probably couldn't pronounce if he tried. As soon as the waiter left once more, Victor continued. “Yes, the show was a big success. Your share of the profits is on its way, and let me just say that it's quite a nice amount. Ad revenue on our site for those two days alone summed almost eight grand.”

“What!?” Yuuri choked. $8,000 in a one and a half days from banner ads? 

“It all adds up,” Victor chirped. “A small fraction of a cent for each page view may not seem like much, especially since Adblock is so popular, but it works.”

Yuuri sat in stunned silence. This was the power of a legend. 

“Of course there are site hosting fees to handle the traffic, and there is paying the cameramen and women, the editors, the moderators, and so on and so forth,” Victor continued, “but all in all, this was a very successful run. And it's thanks to you, Eros.”

Yuuri watched his face carefully, but Victor looked genuine. 

“I was at a loss on what to do for my show. After five years of doing the same thing, you start to run short on ideas. But then Phichit messaged me. I watched your stream, and I felt inspired. The way you moved was beautiful, and I knew that there was something you could bring to the show that no one had ever brought before. But…”

He trailed off. The wine had arrived. Victor sniffed the small measure tipped into his glass and nodded, and both glasses were filled. 

Yuuri could barely breathe. 

“Eros. It's more than that,” Victor said. His eyes fell to the crimson wine in his glass. He swirled it thoughtlessly. “You're an amazing person. And… I'm very glad that I got this chance to meet you.”

Yuuri was shaking. He grasped the stem of the wine glass and held it a fraction tighter than necessary. Would it be poor taste to chug it in one go? Probably. 

“So, Eros, I just wanted to say… well. Thank you. For coming to LA, for being here with me… for giving me this chance.” He raised his glass toward Yuuri. “To you.”

Yuuri’s eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. Eros purred at the praise, the recognition, the only one conscious enough to muster a response. “No,” Eros hummed, settling his mouth into a smile. “To you.” Yuuri hesitated. But it was too late now. Roll with it. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be here. For this experience. I'll never forget it.” Eros, give him strength. “And I'll certainly never forget how you felt inside me,” he purred, sliding his free hand over his stomach. 

Victor’s eyes flashed in the low light. 

Maybe not that much strength. Yuuri nearly balked, until Victor spoke. 

“To us, then,” he said, a slow smile spreading over his face. Their glasses clinked together, shattering the tension like broken glass. Yuuri took a sip. It was nicer than he expected. He didn't know much of anything about wine, but it went down smooth and the flavor was excellent. 

“Wow, this is good,” he said. 

“Mmm, one of my favorites,” Victor said. 

“I don't drink much wine,” Yuuri confessed. “My family was fond of sake, and my friends developed a taste for rum since they started university, so I've never really had much else.”

“Really?” Victor asked. “What about champagne? You must have had it for New Years at least.” 

Yuuri shook his head. “Never. Phichit goes home for New Years, and I have no one to go with. A few other friends of ours are from Korea and China, and they tend to celebrate later in the year. And back home, we don't really drink champagne. I'm sure some people did, but… That's really more of a European thing.”

“I didn't know that,” Victor said. “I mean, we drank champagne back in Russia. Well, I didn't, but my parents did. And their friends. They always did throw the biggest parties. And they continued when we moved here.”

Yuuri’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket. Mari’s name was displayed on the screen in kanji. He did some quick math. It was midmorning back in Hasetsu, probably a lull in business hours.

He smiled. “Just my sister. I'll call her back later. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude,” he said, putting his phone away again. 

“Don't worry about it,” Victor said. “It's not rude at all. Half the time I go anywhere with people, they spend most of the time on their phones.”

“I don't get how anyone can spend so much time on their phones,” Yuuri said with a shrug. “Except for games, maybe.” 

They spent the rest of the night talking about anything and everything, down to the most inconsequential things. Skating, movies, music, camming techniques, even swapping pictures of their precious poodles. Victor flipped through his pictures. Yuuri was a little nervous to just pass his phone over, but the instinctive hesitation ended up overwhelmed by the eagerness to see Victor’s own pictures of Makkachin, of which he had over a thousand tucked in a folder on his phone. 

It didn't matter anyway. Everything was sorted into nice, neat digital albums, and Yuuri’s OS was still in Japanese. 

Yuuri sipped at the wine, feeling pleasantly light. They finished the bottle over the course of an hour and started a different bottle over desert. It was wonderful, and Yuuri felt giddy and light, not drunk, but happy, something fluttering in his stomach. 

Being with Victor was different from being with Phichit, and it was different from being with Chris or Yuri. There was a nervousness that met with a warmth. The conversation never felt stilted or awkward. If the topic died, another cropped up just as quickly, 

They brought the rest of the wine back with them so Victor would be able to drive, and they finished it by talking over a movie they didn't even try to watch, snuggled together with their dogs in their laps. 

They lost track of time completely, leaving Yuuri surprised when the dogs scrambled to the floor, tails wagging by the door. Phichit stumbled in, his hair a ruffled mess and his face streaked in glitter. He headed to the bathroom without a word to either of them. 

He looked drunk and completely out of it. 

“I should make sure he's okay,” Yuuri said reluctantly. 

Victor checked the time with a frown. “Oh. It's late,” he murmured. “Two.”

Yuuri sighed. “I guess I should get some sleep. I'll make sure Phichit gets to bed alright.”

“Alright…” Victor breathed. Yuuri stood unsteadily. He was feeling pretty good by now. A few painkillers, and he didn't even feel the last traces of soreness. 

“Um… goodnight,” Yuuri said gently, untangling himself. 

Victor’s expression was unreadable. “Yeah. Goodnight, Eros.”

Leaving the room was hellishly awkward, but Phichit was being unreasonably quiet in the bathroom, and it made Yuuri worried. 

He rapped on the door. “Hey Phichit? You okay in there?”

“I'm never drinking again,” Phichit groaned. The door wasn't locked. Yuuri pushed inside. Phichit was on his knees, hugging the toilet. 

“That bad?” Yuuri said. 

“That amazing,” Phichit corrected in an unsteady slur. His head bobbed. He was barely keeping his eyes open. “You would not  _ believe _ the things we did, Yuuri, oops, haha, Eros,” he giggled. “Ughhhh but I feel baaaad now.”

Yuuri fetched him a glass of water. Victor and Makkachin were already gone from the living room when Yuuri passed. Yuuri could smell his faint snow rose scent drifting from the master bedroom. Something inside Yuuri fluttered nervously again. He ignored it and brought Phichit water. 

“Here, see if you can keep this down,” Yuuri said. “Sober Phichit will thank you.”

“Sober Phichit’s a buzzzzz killll,” Phichit slurred. He petted Vicchan, who was sniffing his knee. “But probably right.” He muttered something in Thai. Yuuri was a little shaky on the language, but it sounded like it was either an insult directed at whoever invented liquor, or praise. “Feel gross.”

“I don't know if you can stand long enough to take a shower without drowning,” Yuuri said doubtfully. 

“Won't know until we try!” Phichit chirped blearily. He threw a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and wavered onto his feet, throwing far too much weight onto Yuuri without warning. They almost both hit the ground before Yuuri got enough support under him. Phichit found enough balance to stand. 

“I don't think this is a good idea,” Yuuri said. 

“Naaah, it’s fiiine,” Phichit said. “Sit on the toilet ‘nd wait. I'll be fassttt.”

Yuuri sighed, shaking his head. Phichit fumbled out of his clothes, tripping over the lip of the shower. Yuuri averted his gaze politely. Thankfully, despite the slick floors and severe inebriation, Phichit managed to avoid drowning or falling, though he did stumble enough to nearly give Yuuri a heart attack. 

Yuuri wrapped him in a towel and dragged him into the second guest bedroom. 

“Get some sleep,” he said. 

“Baaah, sober Yuuri is a buzz kill toooo,” Phichit said. “Eros. Sober Erooosss.” He rubbed his face. 

“And drink this, unless you want to get on a plane with a hangover,” Yuuri said, leaving the unfinished glass of water on the bedside table. 

Phichit scrunched up his nose. “Thanks mom. You sleep too.”

“I will. Goodnight, Phichit,” Yuuri said. 

“‘Night,” Phichit said. He turned over. Yuuri grabbed a trash can and dropped it beside the bed. Better safe than sorry. 

He closed the door behind himself, pausing in the hall. 

The guest bedroom was waiting, the door crooked open, the pillows back in their proper places and no longer arranged in a nest. His eyes flickered toward the master bedroom. 

There was an itch under his skin. Logically, he knew he needed to go back to his own bed. But something pulled him to Victor’s room. It was that same greedy, selfish thing that had seen people staring at them out of the corner of his eye during dinner. The thing that wanted to freshen the marks on Victor’s neck and leave new ones. 

The thing that fluttered in his chest when Victor smiled at him. 

Yuuri hurried to the guest bedroom. He was being ridiculous right now. Sure, he had a lot of fun celebrating tonight, but that didn't mean anything would come of it. Yuuri wasn't going to take advantage of Victor’s hospitality any longer, especially not now that the rut hormones had to have faded. 

And anyway. Yuuri was just being a horny omega slut, thinking with his dick instead of his head. He beat himself over the head with this fact until he calmed down.  Victor brought him out for his heat. That was it. This was over. Tomorrow, he would leave for Detroit, and this would be nothing but a memory. 

He changed into a tee shirt and the last pair of clean Eros booty shorts, took out his contacts, and climbed into bed. 

It made his skin crawl. 

All around him, he could smell faint traces of Victor’s scent, left over from the previous night. It was intoxicating, a drug shocking straight into his system. It lingered in the sheets, the pillows. Yuuri grabbed one, burying his face in it. He took a deep breath. 

This wasn't a good idea. He needed to wean himself off, not cling tighter. He winced, turning over. He didn't feel tired. Every nerve in his body was awake and alive. He laid still and tried to count to one hundred. Victor’s bed was comfier. Softer. Warmer. The fact that he knew that at all was a problem. He got to sixty before he had to turn again, testing his other side to see if it was more comfortable. 

He hugged the pillow tighter. 

No, it was making it worse. He rubbed it against his neck, scrubbing the glands on his wrists over it until his smell saturated the pillowcase and covered Victor’s completely. He huffed and squeezed it, satisfied. 

Victor’s scent was slightly more muffled now. Less of a distraction. He turned over again. The sheets were cold. 

Vicchan got fed up with the tossing and turning and settled in to sleep on a pile of discarded clothes. 

Yuuri turned over again. 

No. No no no, Yuuri was stronger than this. He winced again. Victor wasn't having these problems. Sure, he had been clingy during his pre-rut. He'd been extremely cuddly, and that had lasted even after the rut ended. They'd even cuddled on the couch while talking. Obviously Victor liked physical contact. But Victor understood that Yuuri wasn't worth wasting any time on. Right? 

He found himself suddenly on his feet, padding quietly out of the room. 

He stopped outside Victor’s door. 

He was weak. He was so weak. He hesitated, almost too scared to knock on the door. He almost turned back. But the restlessness was driving him crazy. 

He closed his eyes and tapped his knuckles softly against the door, so softly that Victor wouldn't be disturbed if he was sleeping. If he wasn't awake, Yuuri wasn't going to change that. But if he was awake… maybe… 

Yuuri waited. Like he thought. Victor was asleep. And Yuuri was just being ridiculous and irrational. He turned to leave. 

The door opened. 

Victor was slightly rumpled, his hair sticking up adorably in places, his eyes shiny but certainly not asleep. 

He slept in the buff. Of course he did. “Eros?” Victor whispered. “Is… something wrong?”

The words almost vanished from his mind. “Um… can I… sleep here?” Yuuri asked. He shifted his weight unsteadily. “I…”

Victor’s arms snaked around him, drawing him into a warm embrace. “Of course, zvezda.” Victor’s nose settled softly against his scent gland. Yuuri shivered, but he didn't move away as Victor’s scent fell over him. He was so weak. 

They shuffled back to the bed. Without the nest, it looked like any other bed. It was so strange how automatic it was for Yuuri to settle onto one side, clutching a pillow. Victor dragged him back into an octopus hug from behind, their scents curling together so sweetly. 

Yuuri just hugged the pillow tighter and let him, feeling more at ease than he had all night. He drifted off almost immediately.

* * *

 

The late morning light from the window was insistently bright against his eyelids. He buried his face in the pillows and snuggled deeper into the warmth, chasing the last touches of sleep. Something long and hard pressed against his legs. 

A shiver jolted down his spine. 

Fingers smoothed along the expanse of his thigh, stroking up and down with the softest touch, just barely trailing the fingertips over the skin. Yuuri sleepily wriggled back, slotting himself more firmly against Victor as he hummed softly. 

Ooooh, that felt good. Through the thin fabric of his shorts, he could feel Victor’s hips twitch lightly. 

“Morning,” Victor whispered. His voice was husky with sleep. Yuuri purred softly, so content. Victor was getting a little harder against his leg. Victor slid away a few inches, taking the hardness with him. “Oh. Eros, I'm sorry.”

“Don't be,” Yuuri whispered. He shimmied back into the warmth of Victor’s arms. “Not your fault. And I'm no better…” 

“Eros,” Victor sighed. It was throaty and thick with hints of longing that shivered through Yuuri like currents of electricity. 

Was Yuuri the cause of this? Morning wood was one thing. Totally natural. But Victor’s soft groan and the press of his erection growing steadily more insistent was telling. 

Yuuri felt a stirring in his belly, hot with longing. 

No one had ever taken Victor before. Not all the way. No one but Yuuri. And no matter what was wrong with Yuuri, that fact was at the very least true. But at the same time, no one had even given it to Yuuri so hard, so deep. Yuuri wondered if it was possible to be ruined forever, so enthralled by someone’s touch that it every touch thereafter was chasing a ghost of that feeling. Was it possible?

He slid his hand over his stomach. 

In a few hours, this would all be just another memory, one Yuuri never wanted to forget. He had souvenirs, little trinkets and baubles and gifts he had purchased, but it wouldn't be the same. Nothing would ever be the same. 

In a few more hours, he'd be on a flight out of here, and this would be the last they'd see of each other. The marks would fade, and maybe the memories would, too, eventually. 

A bad idea came to him, delicious and terrible and so very, very slutty that it made his skin crawl just to think. But then again, it was just sitting in his bag… and as risky as it was, Yuuri was suddenly hard as a rock. Oooh. It would be hard to forget that. 

Something like this… certainly it would be ingrained in his memory forever. 

A breathy sigh escaped him before he could stop it. “Aria…?” he whispered. 

Victor’s breath caught. He must have picked up on the want in Yuuri’s voice, the desperate need. 

It was different from his heat. When he was in that state, everything sounded like a good idea. Everything was a means to an end, a mindless chase to get off as many times as possible, to find satisfaction, fulfillment. Like this… Yuuri wanted only one thing, less outwardly demanding, less mindless, but no less necessary. 

Yuuri tipped back his hips, holding tighter to the pillow in his arms. He gasped when Victor’s fingers clenched around his hips. Oh fuck. Victor wanted it too. Yuuri wanted it so badly. 

And surely Victor… at the very least, Victor deserved to fuck someone one last time, as deep as he wanted. To make up for all those lost lovers who left him, the ones who puckered at the sight of his perfect cock, the ones who never even gave him a chance. 

“Eros… you're still sore, aren't you?” Victor said gently. 

“Barely,” Yuuri murmured. “If you were gentle… it would feel so good…”

“But you would be sore on the plane,” Victor said. His grip loosened, and he smoothed his palm back down Yuuri’s thigh. That wasn't a no. That was...

“Maybe I want to be…” Yuuri trailed off. Victor let out a long, slow groan, and his lips found the back of Yuuri’s neck. It was an oddly tender gesture, much more intimate than Yuuri expected. Victor shooed Makkachin off the bed just as one roaming hand slid across Yuuri’s body, sliding up under his shirt. 

Yuuri bit his lips to suppress the shallow gasp. “I want to remember,” he said, pitchy moans choking out of him as Victor’s hand settled on the line of his groin, pulling him that much closer. “I want to take something home with me.”

Victor stilled. Unsure. Not knowing where this was going. 

Yuuri hummed. “I have a plug... It’s in my bag. I was thinking… for the flight, maybe we could…?”

The reaction was more than Yuuri expected. Victor growled, deep and throaty, kissing at the open expanse of Yuuri’s neck with a sudden fervor. His hands went wild, one skidding eagerly over Yuuri’s chest, raking his fingernails deliciously, deliriously over his pectoral. The other hand seized a handful of Yuuri’s hip, rolling it under his fingers. 

“Fuck, Eros,” Victor gasped, thrusting his hips up so his cock rutted up against Yuuri’s spine, chasing the friction of his shirt and the skintight shorts. “You mean it?”

“Yes, yes,” Yuuri gasped. He tipped his head back, curling his fingers in Victor’s hair. Their lips met, and the kiss, while awkward, was no less satisfying. They broke apart with a gasp. “Aaah, fuck, please, Aria.” A knee pressed between his legs, splitting them apart. 

“Say my name,” Victor whispered. He slid a hand down Yuuri’s pants. His thumb skated over the rim of Yuuri’s entrance, mapping the sudden slickness. 

“Aria,” Yuuri cried. 

Two fingers pressed in without warning. There was a dull ache, a flash of pain, but a sudden eruption of pleasure, too. The sudden stretch was bliss. Yuuri let his grip on the pillow slacken, let it fall to the bed. It was so much. So good. 

“My name,” Victor purred. He curled his fingers, searching for something inside. 

Yuuri clawed at the sheets, gasping, “Aria, Aria, oh fuck, Aria.”

Another finger and he was going mad. Victor slid his fingers in and out with the most excruciating slowness, wet and slick, pulling him open with scissoring motions. He added another. Yuuri keened. He could feel the desperation building inside of him. 

“More, please,” Yuuri gasped. “Ooooh, I want to feel you, please, put it in, put it in.”

“What do you want, Eros? Be specific,” Victor murmured in his ear. He curled his fingers inside and slid them against Yuuri’s prostate, making him cry out. 

“Ariaaa, please, want your cock in me,” Yuuri whimpered. 

“Then say my name,” Victor said. He pulled the fingers out of Yuuri’s pants and Yuuri spasmed on the bed, feeling empty at the sudden loss. He could feel the head of Victor’s cock rubbing against his clothed ass, the pants soaked and ruined from the slick. 

“Nnggg,” Yuuri gasped. He finally understood. “V-Victor. Victor, please.” 

Victor let out a strangled sound, his head bowing to rest his forehead against Yuuri's shoulder. “Oh fuck, Eros. Say it again.”

“Victor,” Yuuri moaned. “Aaah, Victor, Victor!”

Victor’s hands wrenched at the tight pants, yanking them down to sit snugly beneath his ass cheeks. The hands smoothed over his skin, grabbing handfuls of flesh and gently opening him up. Yuuri wriggled onto his knees. 

“Eros, so beautiful,” Victor panted, rising up onto his knees behind Yuuri. Yuuri felt the soft press of the glans against his entrance, bearing in. They bent double and Victor pushed inside slowly. 

Yuuri closed his eyes, a rough, drawn out, ragged sound ripped deep from inside of him with every roll of Victor’s hips. A little more of the shaft was pushed in with each go. Deeper, deeper, past the reach of where the fingers had pulled him open.  Yuuri choked. Without the haze of his heat, every inch felt bigger. Victor felt thicker, harder, the stretch that much more intense. And it kept going, more and more, that ragged sound rattling in his chest as he clawed the sheets with one hand. 

His other hand he reached back, searching for Victor’s hip and grabbing hold as best he could. It was so far back. There was so much more. He was delirious with pleasure,  gasping for air when Victor was at last seated inside him. The position made it feel like it was so much deeper. 

“Aaaaah, Victor,” Yuuri breathed, “feels bigger.” Victor’s fingers rubbed at his stomach, touching the soft bulge of his head behind Yuuri’s navel. Yuuri could almost feel a smile pressed against the shoulder where Victor’s lips rested. “Feels, haaah, feels really good…”

“Mmmm, I'm glad. Aaah, ooh, Eros,” he sighed, mouthing gently against the skin of Yuuri’s shoulder. “So tight, all around me…”

“Yesss,” Yuuri gasped. He could feel the ache of his body struggling to accommodate the massive thickness thrust so deeply inside him, feel the sparks of pleasure from knowing Victor was claiming him so deeply, so wonderfully. He moaned with every small motion of their hips. 

“Such a naughty idea, Eros,” Victor purred. A hand snaked around Yuuri’s cock, beginning to make slow, leisurely strokes over it while Yuuri started to writhe. “You want my cum inside you while you fly home?”

Yuuri cried a shuddering, “yes! Ah, Victor, please!”

“All plugged up and filled the whole time, in front of  _ everyone? _ ” Victor murmured. “What if they can tell you're so full? What if they pat you down before your flight? What if they see your stomach heavy with my seed and decide to take a look? Mmmm, what would you do?”

Yuuri sobbed into the sheets as Victor pulled out a little and thrust shallowly into him. It started slow, but it felt so good. So massive inside him, Yuuri thought he could feel Victor fucking his way inside his very soul. 

“What would you tell them? What if they pull out the plug and alllll of it spills out?”

“Nooo,” Yuuri growled. He pitched his hips back, meeting each thrust with a catch in his breath. “No, Victor, aaaaah, oh fuck yes just like that,” he cried as Victor changed the angle. “Won't let them, ah!” His voice turned shrill for a moment as Victor found the exact angle to make every pull of his cock drag long and hard against Yuuri’s prostate, the head catching against it with each snap of their hips. 

Victor’s hand on his cock was torture, matching each thrust with a twitch of his hand.

“Eros, so perfect,” Victor gasped. “So good for me.”

“Victor, nnnggghh, aaah,” Yuuri moaned. His brain was turning to mush, everything that wasn't Victor bearing down inside of him, hot and heavy, fell away. Victor fucked him into the mattress until orgasm boiled up inside him, building and coiling in his stomach. Victor’s breath caught, and he groaned, long and heavy, hips rolling as he came inside. 

It pushed Yuuri over the edge. His body shuddered and jerked, lost in the throes of orgasm. Victor fucked him through until he was soft, panting and pulling out slowly, jerking his hand over Yuuri’s erection until it finally flagged. 

Yuuri’s head dropped weakly onto the bed, but his hips stayed up, pointed in the air. Victor patted his ass, breathless. 

“Still want that plug?” Victor panted. 

Yuuri groaned into the bed, unable to move or even think for a moment. Words. There were words somewhere in his head. “D-duffle bag, guest room. Front pouch. Package of three. Pick one.”

Victor was out of the room in a flash. Yuuri slowly caught his breath. He didn’t move, though he could feel the slow, liquid seep of Victor’s spend beginning to drip out of him. Victor stumbled back into the room, climbing back on the bed with the widest smile on his face. 

“How’s this one?” It was the biggest of the three, still smaller than Victor, but it would fill Yuuri up nicely and it would sit comfortably for several hours without issue. Yuuri hummed and smiled, dazed with post-coital bliss. Victor’s thumb swiped over the perineum, scooping up what spilled and pushing it back in. When he finished, he slowly eased the plug inside, settling it with the flared base flat against Yuuri’s rim. Victor tugged the sloppy, now somewhat cold, shorts back up over Yuuri’s ass.

Yuuri made soft, approving noises. “Good,” he gasped. He rubbed his stomach, almost imagining that he could still feel Victor inside of him. Victor leaned over him, pulling him into his arms and tipping them both back onto the bed. The plug shifted inside of him, and Yuuri gasped happily. 

He closed his eyes, smug. Victor was too perfect. And now Yuuri would get to savor the feeling just a little while longer. 

Victor cuddled him close. It was scarily intimate, and for a moment, Yuuri was confused. Then again, Victor was a touchy person. Not just to Yuuri. He wasn't afraid to sling an arm around Chris’s waist, throw back his head, and laugh. He hugged Yuuri from behind all the time. It made Yuuri feel a little bit less guilty about wandering in here last night, in fact.

He blinked slowly in realization. Now that he thought about it… this was the first time he'd had sex outside of his heat. It was one thing to fall under the pull of biology… but this…

This was for fun. For pleasure. 

Yuuri felt a little shiver run through him. Was it bad that he'd enjoyed it so much? Without the blazing blur of the heat, his mind had been more present, his senses sharper. Victor had felt different inside him. 

And then he felt the guilt. The regret. Not for himself, but for Victor. Because what was Yuuri, besides a hole to fuck? Victor deserved so much better than a little omega slut like Yuuri, who couldn't even sleep in his own goddamned bed like the adult he was supposed to be. 

“Eros,” Victor murmured, lips dangerously close to Yuuri’s scent gland. It sent sparks of desire through him. He could feel himself already getting hard again, and that was bad, so very bad. “I can practically hear you thinking. What's on your mind?”

“Nothing,” Yuuri lied. It was fine. Victor had sex with lots of people. And now Yuuri got the chance to be one of them, and he was happy, and Victor got a good show out of it and the chance to wet his dick fully for once, and Yuuri wasn't going to let his traitorous heart ruin this moment. 

He took a deep breath. 

“Thank you for the gift,” he cooed in his best Eros voice, rubbing his hands over his stomach with a lascivious grin. “I got you something, too. Just… something small to thank you for taking care of Phichit and I.”

“You got me a gift?” Victor asked, sounding deeply surprised and more than a little excited. 

“It's nothing special…” Yuuri said. His gaze made a quick pass over the room. Everything in here was probably much more expensive than anything Yuuri could afford, so trying to buy something nice was out of the question. “You don't have to use them if you don't want to.”

“What is it?” Victor asked. 

Yuuri smiled. “I'll show you. I got something for Chris, too. I wanted to give it to him in person, but… is he busy today?”

“He was going to make some time to see you two off. I'm sure you could give it to him then?” Victor suggested. 

Yuuri nodded. “That would be perfect.”

“Eros,” Victor said. Yuuri closed his eyes and didn't say anything, letting the change in topic serve suitably as a distraction. Victor’s tone turned lighter, more playful. “Eros, that tent in your shorts says you're not satisfied just yet. Is it true?”

Victor slid his hands slowly down the line where leg met torso, sliding his long fingers inside the shorts and loosely around Yuuri’s half chub. 

“Ignore it,” Yuuri sighed. “That happens.”

He'd probably be miserable on the flight over it, but if it got too bad, it wouldn't be the first time he jacked off on a plane. 

“Ah ah,” Victor tsked. “That won't do. I can't have the great InnocentEros leave my bed still wanting.”

The great InnocentEros?

“You don't… need to concern yourself. I'm always… ahhh, half hard again after most of my shows.”

“Why don't you keep going?” Victor asked. Words were muddling in Yuuri’s brain as the fingers started to stroke him again, lubed with the wetness off Yuuri’s thighs. Fuck, he'd soaked through the shorts. 

Yuuri sighed. “Aaah, oh, because…” Why? “I would take forever. You saw me during my heat. I’m pretty sure I came more than you did. I would want to… ahhh… keep going...”

“I found the counter,” Victor purred in Yuuri’s ear. Victor moved down, guiding Yuuri onto his back. He pulled his hands out of the shorts, and settled himself between Yuuri’s legs, kneeling there with the softest smile. “If you remember it from the show. The one that tracked how many times we both came?” 

Victor placed his hands on Yuuri’s knees, and began to move the fingers up Yuuri’s legs, mapping the soft, muscular thighs, gently easing them apart. 

Yuuri felt his breath come a little faster, breathing a little heavier. “Oh?” he managed. 

Victor pressed his cheek to Yuuri’s groin. The hands settled on Yuuri’s hips. Victor glancing up with a smile. “You know you tripled my number?” Victor said lightly. Yuuri blinked down in surprise. 

“What?”

“I would be offended, but mostly I'm impressed. I kept bringing you over the edge again and again and somehow you still wanted more of me,” Victor hummed. “You were so beautiful.” He pressed his lips softly against the fabric where Yuuri was tented, one hand coming up to cup him gently. A whimper escaped from Yuuri before he could stop it. 

The plug inside was a gentle reminder of the fullness, and the slow stimulation to his front was making this all too pleasant. 

“Eros needs much more attention here,” Victor decided to himself, smiling impishly. “You make me feel like an old man who can't keep up with his beautiful young lover.”

“You're… not old,” Yuuri managed. 

“Twenty seven,” Victor hummed. “I'm practically ancient.” Yuuri felt Victor’s nose press against the tent of the shorts. “Mmmm, Eros, do you have any idea how intoxicating you smell? I could get drunk off of your scent alone.”

“You're not old, and your scent is better,” Yuuri murmured crossly. Victor grinned devilishly. His tongue poked out from between his lips and he left short kitten licks against the bulge, teasing the worst against the wet spot dampened with precum, before rubbing his cheek against the fabric. Yuuri’s head fell back, losing track of the argument. “Aaah, ooh, that's… aaaah.”

“Is it?” Victor asked. His fingers were making distracting circles against Yuuri’s hips where the pants sat low and the shirt had ridden up. “And how old are you, zvezda? To say I am not an old man.”

“Twent- aaaah,” Yuuri gasped when Victor mouthed the head of his cock through the shorts. “Twenty-t-two.”

“So young.”

“You're teasing me,” Yuuri said, clenching his fingers in the sheets. He was not going to pull Victor’s hair. Even if Victor did keep delivering soft licks to the shorts, holding Yuuri’s hips still so he couldn't buck when Victor nuzzled against him. 

“And if I am?” Victor said, not even denying it. “What would you rather I do? Suck your cute little cock? You taste so sweet, Eros, you don't even need pineapple. I loved having you between my lips during your heat. Or I could fuck you again? I might be able to get it back up in a few minutes. I could just keep you on edge till then…”

Yuuri groaned. It all sounded so good. But waiting any longer felt like torture. 

“I want to make you feel good, Eros,” Victor hummed. “I want to see the look on your face when you come. What would you like? My mouth, or my cock? Or maybe my fingers?”

Yuuri shuddered on the bed. “M-mouth…”

“Mmm, good choice,” Victor said, peeling down the front of the shorts. Yuuri’s erection sprang free, and Victor wasted no time bowing over him and swallowing him down completely. 

Yuuri writhed. The sudden heat of Victor’s mouth around him left him clutching at air, making sounds he didn't even know he could make, gasping and crying out Victor’s name. 

Yuuri forced himself to open his eyes, and what he saw almost made him cum right there. A head of beautiful platinum hair was nestled between his thighs, Victor’s too-blue eyes watching his face with something like joy. 

But his mouth. Oooh, his mouth, the way his lips opened up around Yuuri’s erection, the way he effortlessly took Yuuri all the way down to the root and sucked like getting Yuuri off was his only goal in life. Yuuri’s hips twitched, and he was mewling helplessly, softly crying out Victor’s name with each glide of Victor’s tongue over his cock. 

Yuuri couldn't help himself, tangling his fingers in that soft, silver hair. Victor cradled Yuuri’s balls softly in his fingers, providing a desperate edge to the stimulation, feeling the weight of Victor’s measuring gaze as he was tipped closer and closer to the brink. 

It lasted only a few minutes before Yuuri was gasping, “Victor, nggghhh, aaah, I’m coming, I’m gonna-”

Victor mouthed at the head and swallowed him down again, and the heat seemed to burst within him, exploding out. Yuuri came, and Victor lapped it up happily, watching him as he came undone. 

“Vkusno,” Victor purred. His lips were swollen and reddened, his eyes a little glassy. 

“What… does that mean?” Yuuri mustered the will to keep his eyes open. 

“It means you're delicious,” Victor said. He tucked Yuuri's cock back into the pants and slowly prowled back up to the head of the bed, drawing a limp and boneless Yuuri into his arms once more. “How was that?”

“Amazing,” Yuuri breathed. He felt his stomach clench, heard the accompanying growl, and he repressed an unhappy groan. “Mm. I'm kind of getting hungry…”

“I could go for seconds,” Victor teased. At Yuuri’s giggle, he laughed. “There's a cafe a few blocks away. They allow dogs. We could take Vicchan for a walk before the flight and grab some brunch?”

“That would be nice…” Yuuri said, still slightly dazed. 

“We would probably have to find clothes, though. As ravishing as you look, zvezda, I am naked and you are far too beautiful to share with the world right now.”

Yuuri coughed, flushing a bright red. “I'm probably a mess.”

“Disheveled, perhaps. A mess, never. How do you feel right now?” He patted Yuuri’s tummy to get the meaning across. 

“Full,” Yuuri said. “The soreness is mostly gone. I might be a little stiff after that, but I'll take some painkillers before we leave.”

“Good, I don't want you in pain.” Victor sat up with a stretch. “I wonder how Phichit is doing.”

“He's probably hating his entire existence,” Yuuri said. “I imagine he's very hungover.”

“Would he rather us wake him, or bring something back?”

“I'll ask.” Yuuri stretched and yawned, feeling the delicious shift of the plug at the motion. He cringed at the wet slide of his booty shorts. “Ugh. I think I'll rinse off real fast before I get dressed.”

“Alright,” Victor said. Yuuri moaned softly when he stood, the thick plug inside of him settling into a new position that happened to glance against his sweet spot.

Yuuri passed a grumpy looking Makkachin who didn't seem happy to be put out of her spot on the bed. “I'm sorry, puppy,” he cooed as he passed. Her tail thumped a few times, so it seemed she wasn't completely upset with him. 

Yuuri rinsed the sweat and slick from his body. The plug he left sitting right where it was. He toweled off and dressed, scraping his damp hair back from his face and adding a swipe of eyeliner after putting his contacts in. He peeked inside Phichit’s room. 

Phichit was buried under a pile of blankets, face tucked away from the light and pretending it didn't exist. A hungover Phichit was substantially less fun than a drunk Phichit. 

“Hey, Peach, how you feeling?” Yuuri said softly. 

“Bleh,” was all Phichit managed, thick with sleep. He looked pretty out of it. 

“Do you want brunch?”

“Nnnuhhh.”

Yuuri grabbed the painkillers, took two, and brought the bottle to Phichit’s room, leaving it beside a bottle of water. He patted Phichit's hair. 

“Alright. I'll let you sleep. We’ll be back soon. Don't forget the flight. Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks mom,” Phichit muttered. Yuuri stifled a small laugh. 

He clipped a leash to Vicchan, grabbed Victor’s gift, and found Victor waiting on the couch with a leashed Makkachin flopped on his chest. Yuuri’s heart ached when Victor smiled at him. 

“Ready to go?”

Thinking only hurt. Yuuri smiled back. “I am.”

Victor spotted the colorful paper bag almost immediately. “Is that…?”

“Your gift. You could open it now, if you want, or wait until we get back.”

“Can I open it now?” he asked, brightening like a child on Christmas. His lips looked like a heart. How was that possible?

Yuuri nodded and passed it over. Victor shuffled the tissue paper around.

“Like I said, you don't have to use them if you don't want to, I just… thought they'd be useful,” Yuuri said as Victor drew two long, thin objects out. 

The skate guards might have been meant for women’s skates. They were pink, a little tacky, and they were covered in all sorts of fluffy poodles, but when Yuuri saw them, they jumped out at him. Some of the poodles vaguely resembled Makkachin, and the pink color was almost identical to the old pair of blade covers. 

“Your old ones looked worn down, and the color was chipped and faded, so I thought you'd like some new ones,” Yuuri said. 

Victor stared at the guards, mouth falling a little open. He hated them. Damn, Yuuri knew he should have bought him the other pair of guards, or maybe that vibrator that Mila had jokingly mentioned. He tried to backpedal. 

“It's… nothing special, I know, but-” 

Victor hugged him. Yuuri flinched in surprise. “It's great, Eros,” he said. “I love them. They're perfect. I never even mentioned I needed new ones, how did you know?”

“Well, I just… noticed the old ones looked worn when we were skating, and I saw you having troubles clipping them on. I know you're busy, so I thought these might work until you found replacements. There should be something else in the bag, too.” 

Victor nosed around until he pulled out a coffee mug. He burst into laughter, clutching his sides. 

The front of the mug had a stylized graphic reading, ‘I look like a movie star, I party like a rock star, I do it like a porn star’ across the front of it. 

Yuuri grinned. “I was hoping it would make you laugh. I will say, though, the looks I got from the woman at the register were almost funnier than the mug. We didn't get it in the live stream, but Mila says it's definitely going in a future video of hers.”

“Eros, I- just… Wow! Amazing! I can't believe you got me these!” Victor set the bag on the couch, glancing between the guards and the mug. He tackled Yuuri into another hug. “Really. I think this is the best gift I've ever gotten.”

Yuuri snorted. “I doubt that. They were just supposed to make you smile when you opened them.”

“That's why they're the best,” Victor said. “They're fun and functional. Fun-ctional!” He put a special emphasis on it to exaggerate the fun in function. 

Yuuri groaned, burying his face in his hands at the terrible pun. “I can't believe you just said that. I can't believe I ever thought you were cool.” His entire life was a lie. The legendary Aria was a dork. A complete and utter dork.

“Ahh, Eros thinks I'm cool!” Victor cheered, like it was some great accomplishment. 

Yuuri laughed. “Maybe not anymore!” he said indignantly. “But… if you like them, I'm glad.” He smiled. 

“I love them. I'll definitely use these, because they're from you,” Victor said. And… oh. That sudden clenching in Yuuri’s heart was doing bad things to him. “Let's grab some brunch.”

They walked the dogs to the cafe. Victor was humming a song under his breath. 

The panic was starting to rise again. 

What was this? What were they? This was twice now that they'd had sex. And this time, Yuuri didn't have the excuse of his heat for being so desperate, so needy. 

So why was Victor still treating him so nicely? Why the hell would he want to go to brunch with someone who basically told him they wanted to fly across the country with a plug shoved where the sun didn't shine? How fucked was this? 

Yuuri could feel it inside him with every step, and god if it wasn't turning his brain into pudding every time it brushed against his sweet spot. Every time it did, his breath would audibly catch, his cheeks warming by degrees. Victor would glance at him from the corner of his eye and smirk. 

If Victor could tell, could other people? Sometimes the people they walked past glanced at them a little longer than normal, their eyes lingering. Eros cocked his shoulders and swaggered, but that only made the plug abuse his prostate, and it left him chewing his lip into hamburger in the name of muffling the whimpers. 

What if they could tell? It made a warm feeling spread through him, something between intense pleasure and guilt. As arousing as it was, it was also a painful reminder of just how slutty Yuuri really was. He had another man’s semen up his ass, trapped inside with a vaguely phallic hunk of plastic, for crying out loud. And he liked it! If that didn't scream slut, then what did? 

He could feel his hands start to shake, his breath going faster, when a soft touch to his shoulder startled him. 

“Eros? Is everything alright?”

“Fine,” Yuuri said a bit too quickly. He took deep breaths and calmed himself as best he could. “Everything is fine.” Victor didn't look convinced. “Really, it's okay,” Yuuri insisted. Vicchan pawed at Yuuri’s leg. “There's just a lot that I have to do when I go back home…”

“I'm sure you're very busy with school,” Victor said. 

Yuuri nodded. He forced himself to calm down. Pretend nothing is wrong, and be calm. It was fine. 

They ate brunch outside, their dogs at their feet, and it was almost quiet. They didn't talk much. It was like the conversation had died on the walk over. Victor had stopped humming. The air was solemn. Yuuri didn't know why Victor had fallen so quiet, but Yuuri was already missing the sun-soaked streets of LA and he hadn't even left yet.

That was a lie. He wasn't going to miss the city, not really. The city was fine. But Yuuri wasn't possibly maybe in love with it like he was with his crush of countless years, a man who was the physical and emotional embodiment of perfection. 

Aria was someone Yuuri had never expected to even meet, let alone have sex with,  _ twice _ . And most of all, he never expected to feel anything like this. Not for the man behind the camera screen, Victor. 

But that was ridiculous. This wasn't love. They didn't know anything about each other. Not the important things. Yuuri couldn't actually be in love. 

Sure, Yuuri knew now that Victor loved rom coms and classical music. But he didn't know the man’s last name. He never asked, and he was never told.  In the same vein, maybe Victor now knew things about Yuuri that were painfully sappy, things he never talked about, like his love for the spring because he loved how the cherry blossoms back home looked when they fell. But he didn't even know Yuuri’s real name. He didn't know where Yuuri went to school, or where Yuuri and Phichit lived. 

They got along well. But that was surely just a natural element of hormones during the majority of their time together. 

Phichit was a little more alive when they got back. Vicchan was exhausted from their walk. Yuuri had carried him the last two blocks. Yuuri packed his things a little more slowly than he probably should have. He moved slowly over the guest room. He didn't want to forget anything. 

Chris drove over a few hours before the flight was set to leave. Yuuri gave him his gift, and then they left. 

It was quiet in the car. Yuuri found himself back in the passenger seat. Victor was smiling, but it almost seemed a little stiffer than normal. Maybe Yuuri was crazy. It was like it didn't quite reach his eyes. Chris and Phichit chatted, the both of them hungover, but Victor said nothing, and Yuuri couldn't bring himself to talk, either. 

His phone chirped. 

_ Sup. Its Yuri.  _

_ Lemme know when you land. Otabek still wants that gold Lucio gun _

Yuuri blinked. His smile felt sad, even to him. 

They worked their way inside the airport, the luggage split between them. Yuuri lagged behind. Victor fell into step beside him. Yuuri checked his grip on the kennel, fingers fluttering. 

He needed to say something. He didn't want to leave like this. Even if Victor didn't care, his smile placid, Yuuri couldn't feel right leaving things as they were. It was tearing him apart. 

“This was fun,” Yuuri said quietly. “I… I really enjoyed spending the week here. I think… I'll actually really miss being here.” The ‘with you’ was left unsaid. Because Yuuri had that much sense, at least.

“You know, you could always come back. It… it doesn't have to be a one-time thing,” Victor said. “If you wanted…”

“I could?” Yuuri asked, trying to temper the hopeful thing inside of him that was already thrilling at the thought. He shut that part up. 

“Y-yeah,” Victor said. He was unsteady. Victor was never unsteady. 

Yuuri’s heart raced. 

It was almost too much to hope for. Did Victor actually want Eros back? More shows meant more time with Victor. If they did that, though, what would that make them? Coworkers? Fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Yuuri didn't really know how these things worked. 

Were they even friends? Oh god, Yuuri didn't even know if they were friends. How could he dare assume he was friends with Aria? But… what if they were?

Victor set down the luggage and grabbed his wrist, halting them both in the middle of the busy airport. The plastic smile had faded. It was like he'd made a decision. “I can't do this. Eros, I have to tell you...” 

Victor broke off, looking helplessly at Yuuri. Yuuri could feel his heart start pounding in his chest. The change coming over Victor was so sudden. The quiet calm had fallen away. This… this was raw. 

“I don't want this to let this end just because you have to go back to school. I just can't. I really like you, Eros. When you're here, you make me feel more alive than I've felt in years.”

Yuuri choked. “W-what?” he sputtered. 

“Eros, Eros,” Victor said, stepping closer, cradling Yuuri’s face. His eyes were shining. “I-”

Where was this coming from? What was this about? “I don't- I don't understand,” Yuuri whispered. 

“I know you don't,” Victor growled, beating himself in the forehead with his palm and spinning away. “Damn. I'm so stupid sometimes. I thought this would be a good idea, but I was wrong and-”

“You don't… want me back?” Yuuri gathered. His eyes burned. “I mean, that's… that's fine-” he choked. He wasn't crying. He was Eros. Eros didn't cry unless he was being fucked. 

“No, no, Eros, no, please, I do want you back, I do, I- oh fuck. I'm messing this up. Eros,” Victor fretted. He was running his fingers anxiously through his perfect hair, mussing it. He cupped Yuuri’s face again. Yuuri wanted to fall back, scramble out of reach. He was paralyzed. He couldn't move. “Eros, I don't know how to say this. I know… sometimes, things aren't easy, and they don't make sense, but, I want to try.”

“Try what?” Yuuri asked, his voice trembling. 

“More,” Victor said breathlessly. “So much more. You are just… the most amazing person. I can never deserve you, but I want to try. I like you, Eros. Our date last night was-”

“Date?” Yuuri yelped. When did they-

Yuuri went very still. The dinner. Wasn't that just celebrating the show? Except… 

The car door thing, and the compliments, Victor insisting on paying. Wine and dessert. And… oh no. The toast. 

“T-that was a  _ date?"   _ Yuuri sputtered. “I- I didn't even-”

Victor’s expression fell, and he let out a long, deep breath, burying his face in his hands. He massaged the bridge of his nose quickly. He stared at his hands like someone who was lost. “I'm sorry, Eros. I should have made it clearer from the beginning. I thought you knew? This is my fault.”

“No!” Yuuri said quickly, still completely in shock. “No, of course it isn't your fault, it's mine- I mean, I didn’t-” He could feel his breath coming faster and faster, the confusion bringing with it waves of panic and anxiety. 

His mind whirled. Victor thought it was a date. Victor wanted to date Eros. He wanted… 

Yuuri clutched his chest. 

“Eros-” Victor said, looking worried. 

“It was a date,” he whispered in awe. He could feel the flutters in his chest. “You… wanted to take me on a date?”

Victor looked hopeful. “Yes? Why wouldn't I?”

“Because I'm just-” He broke off. Of course Victor would want to date Eros. 

Not Yuuri.

He claimed to like the messy hair that was Yuuri’s signature. He claimed not to mind Yuuri’s dorky blue glasses. But that was just being polite… wasn't it? No one actually liked Yuuri. Not in  _ that _ way.

Victor liked slutty, sex on legs Eros. Because everyone liked slutty, sex on legs Eros. They were supposed to. Eros was pleasant to talk to. Eros loved having sex, and he was good at it. Eros was the ultimate slutty boyfriend. Why wouldn't Victor like him? 

Victor shook his head, smiling. “Just nothing. You're extraordinary. Eros, does this mean…?” He hesitated, and Yuuri was astounded, because when had he ever seen Aria hesitate in any of his live streams, ever seen him doubt himself this last week?

It was almost like he was scared. His scent was softened by the suppressants he was taking once more, but suddenly Yuuri could smell it. So subtle, masked under the snow roses. Something anxious and afraid, something so distinctly un-alpha-like that Yuuri’s nose instantly wrinkled at the stench of it. It was hidden so carefully. 

Victor wanted to date Eros. He did. It was so outrageous. He deserved so much better. He deserved the best. The sourness curling in Yuuri’s gut rose to his throat, thick with the taste of bike. He blinked. 

“I… I need time,” Yuuri whispered. His hands were shaking. Poor Vicchan in his kennel, probably being jostled by Yuuri’s anxious twitching. “I need to think about it. Is… is that alright?” Yuuri had never before seen a man look simultaneously let down and relieved. 

Victor closed his eyes. He nodded. “Of course. Please. Take all the time you need. Just… Eros,” he breathed, stepping close again. He cradled Yuuri’s face in his hands like it was something precious. “Don't forget that I'm here for you. If anything happens, even if you say no, even if you don't want me, I can be there for you. I can help you.”

The sick feeling was getting worse. “Victor, I…” he murmured. He turned away. “Goodbye, Victor.” He turned to walk, and a soft moan slipped out when the plug shifted. He clapped a hand over his mouth, blushing. 

“Goodbye, Eros.”

Victor wore that same smile from the car ride, and suddenly Yuuri realized. Unlike the heart-shaped split of his lips last night, this one wasn't a smile at all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a penis museum in Iceland. What? Yes. Icelandic Phallological Museum. This is why I love research. Look at the crazy things that exist on this planet. There's also a subreddit for people with big dick problems. It's highly informative. (I have done extensive research for this fic.)
> 
> The plug, being non-metal and fairly unobtrusive, would probably not be that hard to get through airport security, depending on who was doing the searching and who was doing the butt-stuffing. I’m just going to assume Yuuri wasn’t randomly pulled aside for more thorough checks and that things went fine. It’s fiction. It’s fine.
> 
> Most of this was not originally in the plans. My plans literally said ‘dinner, sleep in the same bed, go to brunch, confuse the shit out of Yuuri’. There was nothing about butt plugs ANYWHERE. Dammit, Eros, you sex fiend, get your shit together. Also, before anyone asks, Yuuri was usually able to masturbate as long as Phichit was in the apartment somewhere. He doesn't have to be on camera, it just helps.
> 
> (My favorite scene from the last chapter, just if you were wondering, was the story telling. I have a powerful weakness for swapping stories)


	10. Rose Tinted Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri finds himself back in Detroit once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if its good or bad that a few of you have picked out some of my future plot things. I love that you guys can pick up the hints in my foreshadowing and I love all the theories, but I feel like I'm not surprising all of you! I must try harder.
> 
> There is some discussion in this chapter about certain tropes that exist in ABO fics. Some do apply to my universe, while others exist only as things in movies and stories. These are merely Phichit and Yuuri’s views on these matters, not mine.
> 
> And, as always, thanks so much for sticking with me!

“Oh Yuuri,” Phichit sighed, holding his head with his eyes closed. His hangover lingered. “I can _not_ believe you said that.”

They had said their last, slightly painful goodbyes before finally splitting away from Victor and Chris. Phichit had taken one look at the awkwardness that was Victor and Yuuri, and probably the smudged eye makeup on Yuuri, and asked for details as soon as they were past airport security.

“He doesn't actually want to date me,” Yuuri said when he was finished, convinced of this more than anything else. “He could have anyone. Literally anyone.”

“And he wants you,” Phichit said. “Because you're beautiful and smart and amazing.”

“Yeah, when I'm Eros, maybe. He likes Eros. And I almost said yes, because dating Victor would be-” Yuuri broke off, imagining a world where Eros lived off dorky puns and those sugar-sweet heart shaped smiles, and he could get fucked by Victor anytime he wanted. Where late night conversations encompassed more than just shallow talks about poodles and movies.

Yuuri sucked in a sharp breath.

“But it would be long distance, which never works, and it would mean him dating Yuuri, too. Don't you see? It's better if I just… don't.”

“Yuuri, dear, that answer is bullshit and you know it,” Phichit said. “The man is clearly infatuated with you. Both sides of you. You got pretty Yuuri during your preheat, and I thought he was going to fucking combust from cuteness overload.”

“Because people think hot messes are cute,” Yuuri snorted.

“You know it isn't like that,” Phichit said. “That's the anxiety talking, Yuuri.”

“I know! I know… That's just more proof about why it's a bad idea,” Yuuri said. He shook his head. “As much as I want to, it would be a bad idea. My anxiety would just ruin it. Even if… he does make me happy…”

“Yuuri,” Phichit groaned. Yuuri stifled a muffled gasp when the plug inside of him shifted once more. He could still feel Victor’s release inside of him, swishing in his stomach so pleasantly. Phichit's lips popped into a soft ‘O’. “Oh my god, Yuuri. I'm so proud of you.”

“What?” Yuuri grumbled.

“I just figured it out. When those TSA guys pulled your plugs out of your bag, I was wondering why you only had two in there. Daaaammmnn,” Phichit said. “When you two were going at it this morning, I didn't realize you were doing this!”

“Oh my god, you heard?” Yuuri groaned, burying his face in his hands, mortified. It was one thing when it was just for work, but this was something different. Phichit overhearing felt… almost intrusive.

“How could I not? I'm just laying there, half dead, head killing me, drinking the bottle of water my best bro left me because he's awesome like that, and then I hear you start screaming ‘Aria~ Aria~!’. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what you're doing. Well. Who you're doing. Of course, then you started moaning for _Victor.”_ Phichit said, wagging his eyebrows.

“He asked me to,” Yuuri sniffed. “And you can't tell anyone that I've got his-” Yuuri broke off. “-ah… you know, inside me.”

Phichit’s eyes widened again. “Oh my god, Yuuri, you've got his jizz inside you still? Yuuri, you kinky bastard, I love you.” Phichit tackled him into a rough hug and Yuuri wrestled him off.

“Don't say it so loud,” Yuuri hissed, eyeing the people around him. Some people were looking at them. Probably trying to figure out what the hell a dolled up omega was doing being assaulted by his asshole of a best friend. He glared at Phichit. “And I know it's… slutty. But… I really wanted…”

Yuuri broke off when Phichit grabbed him by the face. “Yuuri, I swear, you are not a slut. People have kinks. It doesn't make them a slut.”

“You say. But other people won't think like that.” Yuuri pointedly looked away.

“Yuuri, you are not a slut. And even if people try to say that, they're wrong, okay? They're just trying to be assholes and upset you. But Yuuri… If you didn’t want to date Victor… then why…?” Phichit gestured vaguely to Yuuri’s lower half. Yuuri flushed.

“It… was a little spur of the moment. And… I don’t… I don’t know if I really don’t want to date him. Because… I do. I want to. And… I can possibly understand if maybe he likes Eros. But I don’t feel right putting Victor through something like this when it could just as likely be… I don’t know… latent pheromones or something.”

“Okay, we both know that’s not how it works. If Victor likes you, it’s because he likes you. It’s not him being an alpha, it’s him having _excellent_ taste. And I’m really not joking. I’m positive that man is smitten. I’ve never seen anyone fall so hard so fast. Yuuri, I really think that he likes you.”

Yuuri snorted. “Yeah… but… this is the same man who told you he was in love the second he finished my show. Even if he likes Eros… what if… what if it’s only temporary? I don’t… I can’t,” Yuuri sniffled, unable to say the rest.

“You were fine leaving when it was just for the show, though,” Phichit said softly. “What makes this any different?”

“It’s… scary,” Yuuri whispered. “Leaving now… when nothing has come out of it… when it’s just sex. It’s… less scary. If I tried dating Aria… if he found out what I’m really like… he wouldn’t want to stay. And I don’t think I could take that, if I got a taste.” Yuuri’s hands were clenching and unclenching, frantically trying to keep his breath level.

He already had a taste of that. Leaving cut like a knife. But even this was easier than the alternative.

Phichit sighed. “Okay. Okay, Yuuri. Let’s… go get you cleaned up. How about that? Let’s just… not talk about it right now. We should do some work on your Instagram. Close out the trip. Finish the timeline, you know.”

Yuuri nodded numbly. They cleaned up in a bathroom, freshened up the makeup, and took the last selfie, saying goodbye to LA. The trip had opened on a plane, a selfie from first class and an excited look forward. Now it ended at the gate, waiting to board, unsure of the future and stuck on the past.

Yuuri whimpered when the plug moved inside him again. On the car ride, it had been a thrilling way to remember the trip. A way to take a little piece of Victor home with him. Now it was a painful reminder of what Yuuri knew he would never have, at least, not without feeling overwhelming guilt. But at the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to remove it early. It was the last thing he’d have of Victor’s inside him.

Slutty Eros wanted it to stay. Even if it made its presence known every single last time Yuuri shifted his weight, leaving him in a buzzy state of half-arousal just thinking about what he'd done.

Halfway through the flight, he remembered Mari’s call and cursed himself for forgetting to return it. It would be fine. It would be about midnight when they landed, and with the time difference, it would be a decent time to give Mari a call back.

The burner phone blew up when as soon as Phichit turned it on, once they had landed. Yuuri frowned. There were a surprising number of notifications. “What’s all that?”

Phichit tapped around on it and shrugged. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said. His own phone buzzed. “Oh hey, Guang-Hong is already here.”

Yuuri nodded. It was late, and he was feeling exhausted. He quickly soaked his hair in the sink of the bathroom, rinsing the gel out, before toweling away the makeup. He pulled a sweatshirt on to ward off the chill and nodded at Phichit, who was adding jackets to his outfit as well. After the warmth of LA, the chillier Detroit springtime weather was going to be a rude awakening.

It was dark and drizzling softly outside the airport, but Guang-Hong’s car was warm and dry when they loaded up.

“I'm so, so sorry you had to pick us up so late,” Yuuri apologized. “We weren't thinking about the time difference when we booked the flight.”

“Don't worry about it,” Guang-Hong said. “I would have been up listening to music anyway. Hey, have you guys heard of Leo de la Iglesia? He's this up and coming artist working with DJBek.”

“Really?” Phichit said, flashing Yuuri a look that said something to the effect of, ‘do we mention we met DJBek?’  Yuuri shook his head. Too much to explain away, even if Guang-Hong was Phichit’s friend. “Sounds neat.”

“Hey Yuuri, are you alright? You look a little off,” Guang-Hong said. Yuuri leaned to look at himself in the rear view mirror. He looked a little pale, a little flushed, his pupils a little dilated.

He looked aroused, or at the very least mildly sexed up. He still looked like _Eros_. It was less noticeable with his hair down, but Yuuri could see it all the same.

He flushed when he noticed a few hickeys were hanging out of the collar of the sweatshirt where the makeup had accidently washed away. He scrunched his neck to hide them and shook his head.

“I'm fine, I'm fine, don't worry about me,” he said hastily.

Shit shit shit. Yuuri hadn't even thought about that. Victor had left new hickeys on his neck this morning, and the old ones were still days out from fading. And the worst part was that Yuuri wasn't even mad.

That was a lie, he was furious, but more with himself than anything else. If they didn't stay hidden, it felt like people were sure to figure it out. If people saw them, saw the markings along his neck everywhere but the scent gland where a bond mark would sit, what would they think?

Yuuri _loved_ having Victor’s bites on his throat. It was a delicious satisfaction from being claimed by an actual legend. But these would quickly fade. A bond mark was permanent.

This whole matter was confusing. For as much as Yuuri liked Victor, he knew that being together was impossible. Victor deserved so much more.

“So how was the trip?” Guang-Hong asked as he drove to the main road. “Did you have fun?”

“Tons. We had a blast,” Phichit said. “I've _still_ got a headache from last night’s pub crawl.”

Guang-Hong giggled. “Ah, is that why Yuuri has a kiss mark on his neck?” He tapped his throat, and Yuuri turned twelve shades of red. Of course, Guang-Hong had seen drunk Yuuri before, and he had a decent idea of Yuuri’s behavior, but for him to notice…

Yuuri clapped a hand over it, stuttering. “I- no- I mean-”

“As long as you're being safe, it's no big deal,” Guang-Hong said sweetly. “We’re all adults here.”

“Yeah, Yuuri, it’s fine if you're being safe,” Phichit said, giving him a pointed look. “Which you totally were.”

Kind of. Safe usually implied the use of condoms and didn't end with Yuuri creampie’d and plugged before grabbing brunch and flying over 2,000 miles. Yuuri patted his middle, full of semen, with a nervous frown.

Safe. Right. Thank god for birth control, at least.

“So, Yuuri, what were they like?” Guang-Hong asked, smiling back. “I mean, if you don't mind me asking.”

“Handsome as sin and smooth as hell,” Phichit said. “Like, ‘holy shit, fuck me daddy’ hot.” Guang-Hong laughed.

“Phichit!” Yuuri gasped. Victor was a little bit older but-

“Yuuuuuri, tell me right now that it's a lie,” Phichit said. “I dare you.”

Yuuri deflated. “He was… very attractive. And very nice. And…” probably the nicest person Yuuri had ever met, and a gigantic dork when it came down to it… “Well, it was just a one time thing.”

“You look sad, Yuuri,” Guang-Hong said.

Yuuri shook his head. He could feel his throat clenching. “No, no, it's fine. I'm really… not sad.”

He was eternally thankful Guang-Hong switched some music on, passing his phone and an aux cable to Phichit. “Do you guys want to listen to some of Leo de la Iglesia’s songs? They're pretty great.”

* * *

 Yuuri stood in the entry of their apartment, his luggage in a pile by the door. The sound of rain against the window was soothing.

Yuuri closed his eyes. It was over. Spring break ended in less than a day. He trudged to the bathroom.

He needed a shower.

As the water cascaded down his back, nowhere near as hot as he'd like, he braced a hand against the wall. The other hand slid between his asscheeks, feeling out the smooth, flared base settled there.

He hesitated. His eyes closed as he let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding in. No time like the present. Get your shit together, Katsuki, he urged himself. He tugged, working the thickest part of it slowly out with a low groan.

Ugh, Victor’s cock had been so much bigger. So much better. But Victor’s cock couldn't sit inside of him for hours on end. Unless it was Yuuri’s heat of course.

He could feel the spill across his thighs when it came free at last. Victor’s cum trickled down his legs. The toy needed to be cleaned properly before he used it again. He rinsed it off under the spray and set it aside to be more thoroughly washed.

His muscles tensed, but stretching was enough to slightly ease the sudden tightening feeling. Everything felt hollow. The shower was so small and dingy, not the spotless tiled masterpiece of Victor’s apartment, but an off-white, prefab tub basin with a simple shower head. Cheap. Generic. Uninspired.

He cleaned himself out, watching the last, blurry traces of white swirl down the drain. Yuuri’s favorite souvenir. His chest hurt. Everything hurt.

He padded out of the shower with a towel around his hips, dressed in pajamas, and then called Mari.

It rang a few times before she answered.

“Hey Mari,” Yuuri said. He managed to sound cheerier than he felt.

“Hey little bro,” she said.

“Sorry I missed your call yesterday, I was pretty busy, and by the time I had a moment, it was too late to call.”

“Don't worry about it,” Mari said. Her tone was as deadpan as ever.

Yuuri paced slowly around his room, scratching the back of his neck. “So... what's up?” She was the one who called first.

Mari paused. “Hey... Yuuri. You know we can talk about anything, right? No judgement.”

“Huh?” Yuuri said.

“Just… if you ever… have any problems,” she said.

Yuuri paced his room slowly. Mari wasn't making sense tonight, apparently. “That's a bit out of the blue, Mari-nee. Is everything okay over there?”

“Fine,” she said. Although it almost didn't sound fine.

“Mom and dad?” he asked, trying to place what the problem might have been.

“Busy, but that's good. They like being busy around here. Minako and the Nishigoris are fine, too. Just… Yuuri, you're staying safe over there, right?”

“Are you worried about me?” Yuuri asked, smiling a little.

“Just making sure no knot-for-brains alphas are messing with my baby brother,” she replied. “We all worry about you, you know, being so far away.”

Yuuri chuckled. “Don't worry, Mari-nee. I'm fine. No knot-for-brains alphas. Just my beta friends.”

Mari was quiet for a moment. She and Yuuri were never ones for small talk. “So. Do anything fun over your break?”

Yuuri’s jaw twitched involuntarily. “Not really. Just my heat, but it wasn't so bad. Luckily I didn't have to miss any class.” He hoped he didn't sound as strained as he felt, lying to his sister.

“Sure, sure,” Mari said. “Listen, I have to get back to work. But… take care of yourself, alright?”

“I will,” Yuuri said. “Tell mom and dad and the others I said hi.”

“Will do,” Mari said. They said their goodbyes, and Yuuri tossed his phone aside. That was a weird call. Mari was rarely one to instigate phone conversations. It worked in Yuuri’s favor, because the less he talked to his family, the less he had to explain about this mysterious job of his that helped with his tuition and paid for his apartment and food. He loved his family dearly. They just… couldn't find out the truth.

But talking to his sister had been calming. At the very least, it had taken his mind off how Yuuri’s bedroom very noticeably did _not_ smell like Victor.

With a sudden pang in his chest, he headed to bed. It took a long while to fall asleep, Vicchan snuggled close in his arms.

The familiar, horny itch under his skin was back with a vengeance the next drizzly morning, so he pulled Phichit aside and asked if they could run a show tonight. With nothing better to do, Phichit agreed. All that was left was to kill a few hours until it was time.

He could feel himself getting more and more keyed up just thinking about it.

Yuri and Otabek were playing Overwatch again, so Yuuri hopped on for a few matches. He didn't turn his mic on, but neither did Otabek. Yuri shouted enough orders for the three of them.

Eventually Otabek had to leave, and Yuuri didn't know what to do with the rest of his day until his stream started.

He tried to calm himself with his normal Sunday routine of watching Victor’s skating stream. This week, it was just Chris and Victor sharing the ice with other rink-goers. Yuuri smiled to himself, even as it tore him up to watch.

Victor was so beautiful. He tucked his arms in and spun, then stepped out of it to build speed. Yuuri recognized the entry for a jump.

Victor flubbed it.

Yuuri blinked in surprise, but no one looked as surprised as Victor, who laughed it off and shooed Chris away, hopping back up to his blades. Yuuri sighed. Of course Victor was fine without him. Of course Victor could smile.

What did Yuuri expect? Just because Victor tried to ask him out didn't mean anything would change. The world didn't stop just because of Yuuri.

Victor tried again, his carefree smile straight and smooth over his lips. He popped it, barely staying upright. But the smile never wavered. He looked as bright and brilliant as always.

He heard Phichit knock on the door. “Come in,” Yuuri said. Phichit stepped inside, leaning against the back of the chair to watch Victor and Chris skate.

“It's strange watching them like this,” Phichit said.

Yuuri hummed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“They act a lot different in person, don't they?” Phichit said. “Well… Victor less so.”

“No, he's pretty different,” Yuuri said. Aria didn't make bad puns and talk about poodles all night. “Chris is mostly the same, though.”

“Oh, he missed that jump,” Phichit said, watching as Victor dusted ice off his pants once more. Yuuri could see the line of Victor’s cock through the front of his sweatpants and he shivered. “Anyway. I needed to talk to you about something.”

“Sure,” Yuuri said.

“The show tonight… It's probably going to be busier than usual, thanks to last week.”

“So I got good exposure?” Yuuri asked, still tracking Victor with his eyes. It hurt. Victor was perfect and everything Yuuri wanted and couldn't, shouldn't have. “That's… good, right?”

“Yeah, it definitely is. I just figured you'd like a warning. Umm.” Phichit fidgeted. “Also, Yuuri, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's… probably important.”

Yuuri nodded. On the screen, Victor was explaining how some days jumps just don't work. You can't explain it, but nothing feels right. Doing the same muscle memory motions doesn't bring the same results as usual. You can't explain it. But it doesn't last forever, and next week would be like nothing was ever wrong. Yuuri could only hope.

Phichit was tapping around on his phone. “It isn't as bad as you might think, Yuuri.”

It came with a sudden surge. Irrational panic clutched at his heart.

Those words never came before anything good. He tried to calm himself, despite the sudden jitteriness of his knee. He bounced his leg and told himself he was calm. “What isn't as bad as I think?”

“Yuuri, breathe,” Phichit said. Yuuri took visible deep breaths for his friend’s sake, but he didn't feel the panic subside. “Um. Well, when the show took off, it trended. But you know that. People started talking about it. Which means people posted ah… videos about it. Discussing it. Which isn't bad, except. Um. Your face might have been on daytime TV?”

“What?” The words broke through the creeping panic, startling enough to make him blink a few times in sheer confusion. Was this a joke?

“Like, okay, you know those shitty weekday morning talk shows that like to do segments about twitter trends because they're garbage TV and they like to use outdated Facebook memes? Some of them were… ah… discussing. You. And Victor, of course.”

The panic was instantly back. “Fuck,” he breathed. “W-what did they say?”

“Well it was just a twitter segment for most of them, they just read the tags, and the Extravaganza’s tag happened to be one of them. Some of them didn't even know why it trended.”

“Some of them. Not all?” Yuuri asked, voice starting to shake.

“Well… two of the shows dug around enough to figure out what was going on… But, Yuuri, it really isn't bad. Like, one of them mostly just explained laws and stuff for the viewers, you know, and that's really not that bad-”

“Phichit,” Yuuri gasped. “Please. How bad was it? For real?”

“Well you know nobody actually watches these things anyway-”

“ _Phichit_ ,” Yuuri said.

Phichit shrugged. “Okay, okay. Um. Some of them, it was… a bit more than they gave the other Twitter trends. One… um. Brought on a psychologist they had on staff. Another found an expert on secondary gender biology?”

“And?” Yuuri said a bit more sharply than he intended. Phichit was doing this deliberately, he had to be trying to make all this build up worse and worse in his head. Leaving things out didn't make it easier, it just meant Yuuri’s mind would plug in gaps with worst case scenarios and even if he knew, rationally, it couldn't be so bad, it all felt more real than anything imaginable.

“Well, people who watched you two were talking about how close you looked for an unmated pair. I guess usually only extremely happy mated omegas purr? So the biologist had to explain that fated pairs are just Hollywood bullshit-”

“People are talking fated pairs?” Yuuri hissed, almost falling out of his chair in shock. That was the most goddamned ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

“Not all of them. Just a select few. An… enthusiastic few. They thought you two looked cute together, to be fair. Which you two totally do, I'd never lie to you about that. So the biologist explained purring did happen sometimes, it just wasn't common.” Phichit cracked a smile. “Sounds like Victor went above and beyond, trying to satisfy your inner omega.”

“My omega likes big dicks,” Yuuri muttered. “I doubt it wouldn't have been very hard for Victor. I probably would have purred for anyone who fucked me like that.”

“Didn't purr for me,” Phichit said. “I feel like I should be personally offended.”

“What did the psychologist say?” Yuuri asked, because Phichit wasn't getting it, wasn't seeing that Yuuri was probably the kind of omega who didn't even need to be bonded to purr from satisfaction.

“Ah… that one explained… why someone would go into camming in the first place. Really, they were much more critical of Victor here than they were of you, actually, I promise. This was that one with all the bitchy, menopausing beta women sitting around the triangle table? Two of them were saying you'd been taken advantage of, and that Victor probably artificially induced your heat for the sake of profits, or so he could actually have sex with a male omega on his show, since you're the first omega he's had on.”

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard,” Yuuri said, feeling a little queasy, but better. If that was all... “Victor could easily get another male omega on if he wanted. I mean, we aren’t common, but neither is naturally red hair. And alphas can't mess up an omega's cycle that badly unless they're mated. Is that even physically possible, or are they just idiots?”

“Idiots, I think. They insisted there was some kind of drug or something they'd heard about that could do it.”

“That sounds horrific,” Yuuri said. “Oh god, I can't even imagine having four heats a year instead of three. Or more.” He shuddered at the thought.

“Plus it was complete BS. Like, did they not even see the beginning of the show? Victor treated you so carefully, like you were gonna break. It was so cute. Which is why another of the women said you were asking for it. Which you literally were. You signed informed consent forms before the heat, and we took good precautions to make sure your omega and his alpha had it figured out. So when you were heatlusted, it was basically what we all were expecting to happen.”

Phichit drummed his fingers against his leg.

“Basically, the only thing that you need to worry about is that your picture was put on display. I mean, it was a good one at least. Very Eros, not Yuuri at all. And they stuck it next to Aria’s while they talked about how bad for the children it would be if something like this became commonplace. Something something ‘lure children into a world of sin and debauchery’. And also, one of them might have… called yesterday?” Phichit squeaked.

“What? You're joking,” Yuuri said. “Why would they call us?”

“They were asking for an interview. I told them no. I'm assuming you want this to die and be forgotten.”

“Of course I do!” Yuuri said.

Phichit nodded. “So we just avoid feeding the flames. We keep our heads down until it calms, do what we've always done, and we’ll come out of this richer and possibly out of student debt completely if it stays popular like this. Really, Yuuri, I expected a bit of attention from this. I didn't think people would get so upset about a silly mating sex tape popping up online.”

Yuuri pursed his lips. “What did children have to do with this?” he asked, referencing Phichit’s previous comment.

“Oh, they were talking about how it puts, like, pressure on impressionable teenagers or something? Unsafe heat sex? I don't really get it. It's bullshit, we have an age restriction on our site for a reason. This isn't meant for kids, it's for adults to watch. We can't control it if kids circumvent our blocks, but we tried. One of your fans actually called in and pointed that out. Made them look like damned fools before they swung the conversation back around to what was addling Victor’s brain to make him put his rut online.”

“And what did the psychologist say about me? That I'm broken? Fucked in the head?” Yuuri asked. He could feel his body begin to shake.

Phichit pressed his lips together. He shrugged. “Well, it was a lot of really vague pseudoscience. I mean, you know how it is with the types they bring on those shows-” Yuuri glared. Phichit was avoiding answers again. “Fine, okay, okay. But it was dumb. Really dumb, Yuuri. Nothing at all to worry about. They said there might be, quote, ‘a few factors that commonly affect sex workers’. You know, child abuse, daddy issues, the whole run of it, nothing that actually applies to you. Someone said you might be a satyromaniac-”

“What the hell is that?” Yuuri asked.

“I looked it up. Apparently it's like a nymphomaniac, except for men. It's probably since you had vastly more stamina than any reasonable person could expect, even from a heated omega, and you and Victor really should have been punching similar numbers on your orgasm count.”

“I don't know what a nymphomaniac is either,” Yuuri said. His grip of English was good, his accent was thin, and his understanding of sex terms was improving. But damn, English had so many words for so many things, and they were all so subtly different from each other.

“If it makes you feel better, I had to look it up, too,” Phichit said. He flicked over to a dictionary app. “Nymphomaniac: a woman who has abnormally excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire.”

Yuuri blinked. That… kind of sounded a little like him. He shook his head, resting his fingertips against his forehead. “Damn, I can't believe this.”

“Someone suggested you might just like sex. Apparently the thought never occurred to them. And they liked your little comment about wanting Aria’s babies,” Phichit added with a wink, because he was the worst best friend ever. Yuuri flushed and glared. “Some wondered if you were doing this to have a child with Aria to trap him in a relationship with you.”

“I would never make him do that,” Yuuri said, shaking his head harder than necessary. 

“Nah, I know that. They also… ah… pointed out the exhibition thing?”

Yuuri flinched. “Oh fuck. You're joking. Please say you're joking. How did they even figure it out?”

Phichit shook his head, shrugging. “Well, Yuuri, you did cum immediately practically every time Victor showed you off for the cameras. I don't want to be a jerk, but… it was kind of obvious that your omega loves to be seen when getting screwed. And there were a few videos posted that mentioned the party. I guess you… ah… propositioned Victor in the middle of the club?” Phichit said delicately.

“I was drunk!” Yuuri said hastily.

“So you did?”

“Well… yeah. A little,” Yuuri said. He couldn't exactly deny that he'd ground against Victor and begged to be fucked in the middle of a crowded night club. Even if it sent little pricks of electricity down his skin. He scowled. “Great. Just great. So now the whole world knows I'm a slut.”

“You are not a slut. You were days out from your heat and everyone knows it. And, to be fair, the people who watch those daytime shows, which isn't many, aren't generally the people who watch you jerk off. Maybe they've seen your dance videos on YouTube, but I really doubt it would be more than that. And the stream only got a few million hits,” Phichit said.

“A few _million?_ ” Yuuri screeched. Oh god, did he always sound so much like a pterodactyl?

“That's really nothing, Yuuri. That was over 36 hours, the current viewer count didn't go above 30k except for maybe twice. You've got a couple million views on some of your dance videos to DJBek songs, even if it's a little different for a live stream versus a permalink video. And the videos people posted about it on YouTube don't have a hundred thousand views between them. It isn't the whole world.”

The world seemed to drop out from beneath him. “Fuck. Fuck. How big is this?” Yuuri sputtered.

“Really, it isn't that big!” Phichit insisted.

“It trended on twitter! That's pretty fucking big!” Yuuri hissed.

“Actually, it isn't _that_ impressive. It was a hashtag that hadn't been used in a while, which means it didn't take much to make it comparatively popular to how often it normally is used. And having it slightly popular around the world makes it trend easier than being more popular but in one country. It's basic Twitter logic. Calm down, Yuuri. It's really okay.”

Yeah it was okay. “They called me a sex worker,” Yuuri said in despair.

“Well, you're a camboy. You're like a live action porn star.”

“Yeah, who plays video games!”

“Some people think that's sexy!” Phichit said.

Yuuri glowered. “Really? You are not helping me at all right now.”

Phichit poked his shoulder, imploring. “Come on, Yuuri, I didn't tell you all this to upset you. I told you because it isn't that bad, and you need to know before your show starts now that you're getting more viewers. You know how many new subscribers we got in the last two days? A lot, that's stable income to add to the extremely sizable lump of dough we got from Aria. Which let me tell you is damned nice for one day of work, what I'm assuming was the best sex of your life, and a free vacation.”

Yuuri hesitated. Victor had mentioned a good profit, too. Eight grand in ads alone. “How much did we come out with?” he asked. He could probably check the bank statement, but this was faster.

Phichit grinned. “Around $4,500 between the two of us.

“What?!” Yuuri cried.

“You earned the lion's share, I just got a bit of a finders fee and some advertising kickbacks. Chris apparently usually gets a smaller cut than what you got when he's on the show, so I think we came out golden.” Phichit dragged his wallet out, fanning a few hundred dollar bills at Yuuri.

Yuuri sputtered for a minute before he reclaimed his grasp on the English language. “Wait, we got more than Chris would have? But that's not fair!”

“You did literally the entire show. No, you were the show this year. You think Chris can ride that monster dong of Victor’s like that without needing a new sphincter? Nah, man. This was all you.”

“Victor did a lot of the work. I was just sort of begging the whole time.” The realization soured very quickly. Yuuri clutched his chest.

This wasn't just a small thing anymore. It wasn't that his face had been on TV. No one would recognize him, he was Eros. Eros was so unlike Yuuri it might as well have been night and day.

The problem was that, suddenly, Yuuri could feel the immensity of the Internet. It was a thing he never put much thought into. Of course it was global. But never had he imagined leaving his tiny corner of it. Eros was a thing of sex and desire for a small cluster of followers who were interested in that sort of thing, not a thing that cropped up on TV.

And all his dirty laundry was now being aired for the world to see. The exhibitionism, the lack of control, the slutty behavior. It was there for anyone to watch. If it was on daytime television… where else was it?

“I.. I don't want to talk about this anymore,” Yuuri breathed. His body was still, but his hands were shaking.

Phichit patted him on the shoulder. “Hey, Yuuri, come on, it’s fine. You weren't just begging, I promise. It was great. I'll give you some time to calm down. Do you still want to cam tonight?”

Yuuri closed his eyes and nodded. Arousal sat in the back of his head like a low pressure system, tangible without being overwhelming. Satisfaction never lasted. Maybe he was a nymphomaniac. Or a satyromaniac. Maybe he was fucked up. Of course he was fucked up.

Might as well go on and put on a good show.

Yuuri glanced at the skating stream one last time as Victor landed a shaky waltz jump. Victor tutted himself and shared a small smile with the audience. Victor wasn't bothered by these events in the least.

He didn't get flustered from a little media exposure. He didn't lose control.

Yuuri shut the lid of his laptop a little harder than he intended. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I do.”

* * *

The camera was set up on its tripod, pointed at the bed. Phichit was cozy at his computer.

The instinctual pre-show panic was muffled by a small wave of familiarity. This was normal. This was what camming had been for an entire year. There was no small squad of cameramen and editors scurrying around, like there had been for some of Victor’s shows. Just Phichit, cozy at the computer, their one camera pointed at the bed.

Simplicity.

Phichit counted down, and Eros curled up on his bed with a lazy smile.

He was all dolled up once more, although the trail of hickeys down his neck were left visible where they traveled beneath his clothes. There would be no point in putting makeup on them. Not when they covered Yuuri’s entire body, blooming over his thighs and back like purple flowers.

His unbitten scent gland was left pointedly exposed, almost defiant amongst the hickeys. Eros was marked, but not claimed. Eros was free and beautiful, untamed despite his experience this last week. Eros was for his viewers’ pleasure.

“Hello,” Eros cooed. “Lovely night, isn't it? I know I normally do this on Saturdays. It's such a shame I was so busy. But I couldn't just forget about all of you.”

He watched the flurry of sign-ons. The subscriber count was significantly higher than he expected. Phichit hadn't been kidding. He was greeted by many of his regulars, and a large number of new usernames he didn't recognize.

He bit back the shock. He and Phichit anticipated this. This was the intended result. More people watching meant more eyes on him, heavy and sliding over his skin like glancing touches.

The memory of Victor’s hands lingered.

Yuuri bit it back, banishing the thought from his mind. “Looks a bit busier than normal tonight,” he continued. “Don't tell me, you're all here because of last week?”

Yuuri watched his chat briefly burst with a flurry of comments. It was nothing like Yuri’s Let’s Play, but it was busy all the same, and certainly busier than normal. The comments had a general theme. New faces came from all avenues. Many were from the Extravaganza, but others were from the Let’s Play, pole dancing with Chris, or from shopping with Mila.

Two messages were deleted before Yuuri could read them. Phichit tutted them from his computer. “Ah ah, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all,” he chuckled, sounding mildly evil as he did so. “I see all, even rule breakers.”

Yuuri blinked at the camera. Rude comments? But that was surely expected. And Yuuri was too desperate to be bothered by the possibility. He adopted an artificially innocent look.

“Don't tell me you're being mean on my show?” he said. “You might break my little heart.”

 **> >Thunderfuck:** Like Aria broke your ass?

 **> >Thunderfuck: **heyooo

 **> >dizzisik: **heeeey there omega, looking fiiinnee~~

There were a few more comments about his appearance and a few more people announcing their first time. Yuuri nodded, feeling himself settling into the Eros skin more comfortably than he had in a long time.

A week straight of wearing it like a coat had left it melting into him, combining in unpleasant ways with all of the Yuuri that had been creeping through. But Yuuri had taken the coat off, shaken it out, and put it on fresh. A bit of time as Yuuri had been good for him. A chance to chat with family and friends had been enough to help clean the slate and start anew.

Another comment winked out of sight before Yuuri could read it. It rattled him more than he'd like to admit.

“Since so many of you are popping your camboy cherry tonight, how about I explain how I like to run things?” Yuuri said with a wink.

He sat up a little more on the bed, rolling his shoulders.

“If you have a special request, make a mention of it in the chat box. My moderator can see both the general chat and the subscriber chat, but I only get to see the subscriber chat, so if there's something special you'd like to ask of me, consider subscribing. It's only 5 bucks a month, and I like to think it's a _very_ good deal,” Yuuri purred. “And if you like what you see, or want to convince me to do something a little more risqué, a few coins sent my way wouldn't go amiss.

“You'll notice that there is a poll in the description, which is available to everyone to vote on. On that poll, you'll find three options. The playboy, the most beautiful woman in town, and Eros’s choice. The full descriptions of the options are explained below. Playboy is if you'd rather I be a little seductive, a little dangerous. The Eros side, if you would. The beautiful woman is if you'd rather I take after the more innocent half of my name. If you're up for anything, try out my personal choice. I promise it's always fun,” he said with a wink.

He gave it a few seconds before nodding.

“I'll give about five minutes for voting to take place, and for people to sign in. After that, we can get started. How would you like that?”

**> OG-Dom has sent 100 coins**

**> >OG-Dom:** Glad to see you made it back alright!

Yuuri smiled. “Hey there, Dom, good to see you.”

 **> >OG-Dom: **Good to see you back in your apartment again ;) you looked good on Aria’s bed, but I think I like you better out here. Call me selfish.

“Don't tell me, you missed ordering me around,” Yuuri teased. “I know that's your thing.”

 **> >OG-Dom: **oh, no, I definitely do, baby. But as long as you're satisfied in the end, that's my fetish <3 Was your first time good? I only got to watch a bit of it.

Yuuri hummed, rubbing his stomach luxuriously. “Mmm, yesss. Definitely good. I couldn't walk for two days. I've never had anything like Aria inside of me before. It was absolutely magical. Are all alphas so big and wonderful like that?” he said, suppressing the frown at the thought. He knew well enough there was no one like Victor.

 **> >CandyMan: **I know I am, sugar ;)

 **> >CandyMan: **I could bend you over and give it to you hard and fast, just like you need it, make you forget all about Aria.

“Ah, very sorry CandyMan, I would love to, but I don't do in-person visits. I'm sure you'd do me very well, though,” he added indulgently. He cringed internally. Flirting with his viewers didn't usually feel so… repulsive. “Do you really think you could give me what I need?”

 **> >CandyMan: **I saw you screaming for babies like a good little omega. Mmm, what I wouldn't give to see you knocked up and begging on my knot just like that. I didn't know you could cry so pretty.

Yuuri snorted a little with laughter. “Sorry, CandyMan, that was just for my heat. I don't get aroused by that normally. But a nice try, I’ll give you that.”

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **fuckin roasted

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **you look a bit better today, Eros. How you feeling?

“I'm fine, you guys know there's no need to worry about little old me,” Yuuri said. “The shitstorm from the last few days has been _interesting_ ,” Yuuri added, shooting Phichit a pointed look, since someone could have mentioned it sooner, “but everything is fine.”

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **I didn't expect you back on so soon. My girlfriend’s an omega and she never wants sex after her heat.

Yuuri blamed Aria’s parting gift. Meaning he blamed himself for this poor life decision. He shrugged. “I just like to satisfy my fans. Aria was a very thorough lover. But I tend to the insatiable.” He winked. “Hmm, I see most of my regulars are here. But where is Cherriboyhunter? Usually they've chimed in by now.”

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **He's not coming back, I think

“Huh? Why is that?” Yuuri asked.

 **BigDickDaddy:** He said on a forum that you're not a virgin anymore, so he lost interest. I guess he thought you'd been ruined by Aria or something

“What?” Yuuri said. He was almost speechless. “That doesn't make sense. Did… did it really ruin me?” Hints of doubt we're creeping through.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **course not Eros bby ;) I thought you looked pretty on that big cock.

Yuuri’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. Cherriboyhunter was such a longtime fan, one of Yuuri’s first few regulars, even. Sure, he made lots of comments about Yuuri’s questionable virginity, especially since Yuuri never commented on it until now, but did having sex with Aria really change him enough to not be wanted?

His fingers skated over the marks on his neck.

 **> >alphalite: **meh fk him. Creepy bastrd.

 **> >actualburtreynolds: **true or false, are you and Aria a thing?

He pretended not so see the comment. A few other comments were quickly deleted before he could read them. Yuuri tried to ignore it.

Of course. It made sense. Some people didn't like to watch people whore around for any alpha with a big dick. Some people had standards.

 **> >AROSshipper: **omggg Eros r u nd Aria gonna do it again?????

 **> >AROSshipper: **u guys r goals AROS FOREVER OTP

 **> >arosfan36: **otp otp otp

A small flood of aros related usernames began to chime in with similar nonsensical comments. Yuuri blinked. What the hell was all that? Aros?

“Poll results in,” Phichit said. “Playboy.”

“Right,” Yuuri said. Back on track. The player, the seductor. Maybe they were bored of Yuuri lying back and taking it. He turned his expression into a smolder, refocusing. “The poll results are in, and the people have chosen the playboy. Tonight, I seduce you.”

Yuuri heard the distant rattle of coins being sent and he smiled. Ok, he could do this. He turned his attention away from the chat screen and he focused on the camera.

“You’ll have to let me know if you like it,” Yuuri crooned. He slid his hands down his chest. “I’ve never wanted anyone as badly as I've wanted you. I wouldn't want to scare you away.”

It sounded stupid and cheesy, even to him. He hated being the player. He regretted ever making it an option. He always felt so awkward about it, the lousy dirty talk, the generic techniques. He wasn't good at it.

There was never anyone he _actually_ wanted to seduce. Well. Except…

Yuuri closed his eyes. No, he couldn't afford to think like that. He fluttered his eyelashes, peering up at the camera with a brief, sultry wink.

“But I can't help myself. I want to do the most unspeakable things to you,” Yuuri continued. “How do I earn a spot in your bed? How do I make you want me?” He rose onto his hands and knees, prowling a little closer to the camera.

Fuck, this felt so ridiculous.

There were a few coins, but not many. It was fine. Tonight was less about the money and more about getting himself off. He tried to ignore it. He tried to focus on what he was feeling.

His eyes skated over to the chat.

 **> >BigDickDaddy: **you could start by taking off your shirt, cutie~

The request was accompanied by the familiar jingling tone of coins added to his account.

“Perhaps with my body?” Yuuri suggested. He teased his shirt, flirting with the hemline. His eyes caught on the hickeys. He had to tear his gaze away.

Aria obviously didn't miss him. Yuuri couldn't let it affect his show. He had to focus on what was real. What he knew. Victor merely had the same passing fancy for Eros as all of Yuuri’s other fans, and he'd satisfy them all the same.

Yuuri pushed his way through his show, going through the motions, pretty smiles hiding gritted teeth. He edged himself too long. But he couldn't find release.

He pulled the vibrator egg out of himself, which had kind of been his plan for tonight. His ass was back to its pre-fucked status, tight and desperate to be filled. Unfortunately for him, it seemed the egg simply wasn't enough to bring him over the edge. Yuuri needed the stretch of something more.

He looked at the camera, sucking his lip between his teeth. Was Victor watching? Could he see how pathetic Eros was?

Yuuri masked his flop onto the bed as a playful pomf. He reached under for his toys and pulled out Big Red.

“What about this?” he asked sweetly. He slid his fingers over it, feeling the familiar swell of the scarlet head, the thick shaft. Smaller than Aria, his mind automatically supplied.

Big Red always worked. There were even a few rare instances, back before he ever started camming, back when Yuuri was particularly desperate, where Big Red had managed to get him off alone. It had taken forever, and only when he was in particular need, but it had happened once or twice.

With a camera on him, it would be no trouble at all.

He laid back, propping a leg up and splaying his thighs for the camera. This was familiar. This was his old show, how it was meant to be. Yuuri let out a little sigh of relief as he worked the toy in.

He didn't need Aria at all.

He pictured his followers leaning forward, eyeing computer screens with hands down pants, if their pants weren't already shucked to the floor. Men and women, alphas, betas, and omegas alike touching themselves because Eros was laid back, opening up for the toy, his cock… practically soft.

Yuuri stroked himself, letting out a soft moan to hide the gesture. He wasn't trying to keep himself hard. Obviously he was overcome with the need to touch himself.

Big Red was a familiar stretch, once it was fully inside him. Not big enough. Not deep enough. There was no warmth, no hands sliding worshipfully along his thighs. In his mind, he could see Victor bowing over him, hitching his legs higher above his head. Yuuri’s eyes lingered on the bruises over his groin.

He scolded himself.

There were more people watching. That was supposed to be good. That wasn't supposed to make him more nervous, it was supposed to be arousing.

He started to fuck himself with the toy. “Nnngg,” he groaned. “Do you like that?” Fuck this was terrible. It wasn't working, not like it usually did. 

Victor would have made him scream. Victor would have flipped Eros over and drove inside, making him writhe.

Damn, that made him whimper. He clenched his teeth and threw back his head. He could pretend that didn't arouse him. Pretend that it wasn't the first rush of excitement he'd felt all night.

Or he could get this over with. Because he was useless and horrible and ruined.

He guiltily finished himself to thoughts of Victor. He came, but it wasn't satisfying the way he had expected from such a long session. It was underwhelming.

He lay back, breathing heavily. “Well. You know,” he muttered evasively, already imagining the disappointed comments that would be filling the chat box. “Omegas don't tend to like sex after heats…”

He didn't look at the chat window. He could imagine well enough what they were saying.

* * *

 

Yuuri trudged to class in his sloppiest sweatshirt and sweatpants, foundation caked over his neck, and his hair barely better than bed head against his forehead. It felt like a Monday. Oh god, did it feel like a Monday.

Strangely, the sweats helped. It felt like the expectations were gone, or at least deflected. No one looked at stuttering, wallflower Yuuri and thought, hey, maybe that guy is a giant slut. He hoped.

He had two lectures and time in the dance studio today, nothing unmanageable. He sat along the edge of the room, dead center between front and back. He wanted to sit in the front where he could see the board, but he also wanted to sit in the back where no one could see him. This was his compromise.

It wasn't so bad. He could see pretty well, and the small group of chatty betas and alphas beside him usually quieted down as soon as the lecture started.

He could hear the excited conversations about the break, the ‘what did you do’ and the ‘where did you go’ bubbling through the room. Yuuri listened with half an ear. He doubted anyone in here had a week quite like his. He was early enough that people slowly streamed into the room, filling open seats, joining in with conversations.

“-was super boring. You guys get to go to all the cool places,” one person was complaining. The guy’s alpha friend (Yuuri had overheard many stories of this kid’s foreign romantic entanglements) grinned.

“Yeah, but you had all the time in the world to watch the rut stream! My girlfriend dragged me to surfing lessons for the day so I couldn't watch it when it happened,” the alpha said.

Yuuri froze.

“Dude, I would kill to go surfing,” a third complained. “Especially in another country like you. There's nothing special about watching porn, even if it is live.”

“Nothing special!” the alpha gasped. “Did you even see it?”

“See what?” the first asked.

“Just some over-endowed online prostitute posting his rut online,” the third scoffed. “It's ridiculous.”

Yuuri could feel his entire body seize. College students were one of the bigger markets, so it shouldn't have been unexpected for at least some students to have seen the show, but even so. Yuuri had never in his life heard people discussing it in public.

And it was never supposed to show up in Detroit.

“You're joking,” the first said, chuckling. “I don't believe you.”

The alpha got an excited glint in his eye. “No joke, totally a thing. There's this alpha who goes by the username Aria, right? Posts a lot of videos online of him having sex with people. Well, five years ago, the crazy bastard decides to put his rut live on the internet for anyone to watch. You can still find memes about it ‘cause 4chan thought it was a fucking riot.

“But he keeps doing it year after year. And _this_ year, he found the prettiest, horniest, sluttiest male omega I've ever seen to come on his show for his heat and treat him like a literal sex god.”

Yuuri flinched. He slowly lowered his head, eyes wide with horror.

What.

“Wait, and all this was _live?”_ the first said incredulously. The alpha grinned. The first person paused. “Jesus, and he convinced an omega to go into heat with him? ... Is he actually a sex god?”

“Man if you just listened to the way that omega was moaning, you'd think he was,” the alpha hummed, looking a little aroused at the thought of it. “I know the omega does other cam shows, but he was really getting into this.”

Yuuri clutched his stomach. Breakfast was threatening to come up, but like a train crash, Yuuri couldn't stop it, couldn't stop listening, couldn't move. He was a deer in the headlights, and even his own imminent demise couldn't convince him to move from his seat.

Where was the professor? Fuck, fuck… he couldn't breathe. His legs were jolting under the table, his hands clenching and unclenching furiously. This was what people were actually saying?

He'd always had an idea that Phichit was censoring things to protect him, to shelter him from the world. It was impossible to miss the deleted comments. There was always a dismissive way to how Phichit mentioned any new developments. How far did it really go? How much did Phichit really hide?

Yuuri couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe at all. Because Phichit would never say it, even if he thought it. Because Yuuri was fragile and unstable and needed to be protected. Because Yuuri obviously couldn't cope with the truth.

Because the truth was exactly what he'd suspected for a very long time.

“Wait, hold on, you said male omega?” the third said.

“Oh, now you're interested, you fucking horndog,” the alpha laughed.

“Hey fuck you. I was just going to say I've seen a camshow with a male omega before. It wasn't… fuck. I forget the name. Some Greek bullshit. Eris, was it?”

“Eros,” the alpha said. “The sex god. I think Eris was the chaos one. Pretty and Japanese?”

“Fuuuuckkk,” the third groaned. “Yeah, I know him. Damn, if I'd known he was doing it, I would have totally watched. Holy shit, that guy is beautiful.”

“Well of course. Aren't omegas usually beautiful? And male omegas, sweet Jesus,” the alpha groaned, raking his fingers through his hair.

“Damn,” the third sighed. “I would just love to fuck Eros.”

The first chuckled. “He's that special? Like, five minutes ago you were calling Aria an online prostitute.”

“Yeah, but Eros,” the third said. “Who doesn't want to tap that? Or, okay, maybe Eros could fuck me. I'm flexible, if that's what he likes.”

“Seriously,” the alpha sighed. “The amount of attitude in that guy. I would love for him to push me down and then ride me just like he did to Aria. That pretty boy is not shy at all. And the Internet says that it was his first time. So if that's true, then goddamn, I want that alpha’s sloppy seconds.”

A newcomer dropped into a chair beside them. “What's that about sloppy seconds?”

“Oh, that omega from the Internet,” the alpha said.

“Haha, oh right. My brother kept sending me gifs from that show all last week. He didn't even have a thing for dudes until he saw that omega.” The newcomer dragged his phone out. “Seriously, look at these.”

The first one’s eyes went wide. “Oh, damn! You guys weren't kidding!”

“Haha, look, this is the first time Eros rides Aria, you can see the exact moment when he realized he took too much,” the newcomer said, pointing.

“Ahh, fuck. This shit makes me wish I was an alpha. Eros would never want a guy like me.” The first person sighed sadly.

“Well of course not. He's been wrecked by Aria,” the alpha said. “Although I watched his show last night, all I can say is damn, that boy’s tight and horny again already. I bet he's forgotten all about Aria by now!”

“Hmm, maybe I could help the poor thing out. Don't omegas love to be fucked?” the third suggested, offering his friends a suggestive leer and a chuckle.

“He says he doesn't do in-person meetups,” the alpha sighed. “Such a shame, really. I'd pay good money to have his ass just for the night.”

“He hooked up with Aria, didn't he? Obviously he wants more.” The others laughed. “Maybe you've got a chance!”

Yuuri almost didn't notice the professor walk on and take her place at the front of the lecture hall. He had his notebook in front of him, his pen ready to the side.

But he didn't write a single page of notes. He didn't hear a word she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, you don't talk about your porn habits with your friends?
> 
> What is wrong with me. This entire chapter is so meta it hurts my soul. But basically, rose-tinted glasses are like a filter that colors everything pink and rosy, like love and good things and happiness. Phichit works very hard to maintain the illusion that there is no one talking badly about Yuuri, but it does exist. And this is the first time that something has disturbed those rosy glasses he's been wearing. 
> 
>  
> 
> THIS IS ALL MONEY AND FINANCIAL BS. FEEL FREE TO SKIP IT IF IT DOESN'T INTEREST YOU.
> 
> Victor normally has a very sizable cut of the profits (profits, not the entire income) and near complete control over the show since it's his show and planning it isn't easy. However, Yuuri got a larger chunk than most guests would normally get, as it was just the two of them for the entire time, and Victor's really in love. He previously outlined some of his expenses, and Victor and Yuuri’s cuts were both calculated as a percentage of the remains.
> 
> So, as far as money goes, I had a bunch of calculations and then I lost them. So the exact numbers are gone, but the basics I generally remember, if you're curious about how Yuuri’s total was calculated. I ran a basic ‘earnings minus expenses equals profit’ system, with profits divided according to pre approved percentages.
> 
> 1.33 million page views (assuming this is the number of people who logged on without Adblock turned on, a rough guesstimate in relation to the real number of viewers. ~30% of internet users are said to use Adblock, but I believe that the demographic watching the show are more tech savvy, at the very least, driving that percentage up) at $0.006 per page view (the average earnings per ad per page view) gives us $8k for ads. Subscriptions are an excellent way of making ends meet for streams. Assume Victor charges $5 a month, same as Yuuri does (because that's a pretty good price point as far as streams go imo), and he gets around 30k people a month subscribed (chosen because it's about how many people are subscribed to critical role right now and I like the size of the fandom for something niche like cam sex), and then divide that by the number of days in April, and you've got $5k for one day of subscriptions. Technically it would actually probably be $7.5k because of the delayed reairing. Then there’s the tips provided by users who are watching but I can't remember how much I calculated that out to be or how I figured that, or I would have a number for you. It was a couple grand as well.
> 
> Then I subtracted labor costs, assuming four people were working at any given time, (and they were making much more than minimum wage, lemme tell you), the cost of the site (which isn't exactly cheap), a bit for advertising (although it was mostly through Twitter and word of mouth), the cost of equipment, catering for the crew, paying Yurio to dogsit (very important), and a few other things.
> 
> Yuuri earned around $3500 for his share, and Phichit got $500 for his help in advertising plus a $500 finders fee that Victor made up because Phichit set him up with the future love of his life. What a bro. 
> 
> Victor came out with about $6000 and the most mindblowing sex of his life. He considers this extremely fair, considering Yuuri’s cut was enlarged by taking from his own share.


	11. Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor brings news, and Yuuri faces an important decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are references to an anxiety attack that took place between the end of the previous chapter and the start of this one, but it is not written out except as the aftermath.
> 
> Sorry the updates have slowed way down. My computer isn't working right now and it's really limiting how fast I can write, much more than I expected it to. This may be a problem until it is finally fixed.
> 
> There will never come a day where I don't appreciate every last comment and kudos. They really helped me push through this chapter and get it done, so thank you!
> 
> And a big thank you to all the people who created fan works inspired by this fic. You guys are amazing and talanted and sooo creative. There has been fan art, Pinterest aesthetic boards, and fanmixes and I just think that's all so cool. I had a list on my computer but I don't have my computer so I had to hunt these down. If I forgot some, I'm sorry! 
> 
> shikiamondo.tumblr.com/post/160246960606/fanfic-by-aurum-auri-put-it-in-damn-you 
> 
> shikiamondo.tumblr.com/post/159925942036/from-all-eyes-on-me-ch06-by-kizunaauri
> 
> kittyfujoshi.tumblr.com/post/160928480429/nsfw-art-work-xx
> 
> 8tracks.com/leonardo-m-15143/all-eyes-on-me
> 
> pin.it/7b7frHL

The first day back in class had been one of the hardest in recent memory.

Yuuri stared unblinkingly at the wall, numb, a plate of homemade pad thai on the table before him. Phichit poked at his own dinner with a quiet frown.

Fishing Yuuri out of the bathroom, his hiding place after he had bolted from class halfway through, hadn't exactly been easy on either of them. Phichit couldn't convince Yuuri to go to his second class. He did manage to talk Yuuri into making it to the studio later that day, though, and for that, Yuuri was glad, looking back.

And it was almost funny. No one had looked twice at him. The things he'd dreaded, recognition or shame, more discussions of Eros, anything at all, never materialized. It was almost possible to forget what those boys from earlier had said.

Almost.

“I could blow them up if you want. I know a guy in the chem department who says he can make a bomb out of anything," Phichit joked weakly.

“We’re not blowing anyone up,” Yuuri said dully, but he almost felt the corners of his mouts twitch. His shoulders dropped again. Nope. He couldn't even pretend right now.

“Yuuri…” Phichit said. He pressed his lips tightly together. “I know those guys said some things, but…”

“How bad is it. Really?” Yuuri said quietly. “How much do you hide from me?”

“I don't, not as much as you're probably thinking, Yuuri. I delete some comments occasionally, but most people, what you see is what you get. It's gotten a little busier, there might be a few more of them, but it's pretty much still just the same jerks and self righteous bigots as before, the kinds of people who harass literally everyone. Those guys in your class just happened to be assholes. And they still thought you were damned amazing. They said so, right?”

Yuuri forced himself to take a bite. He wasn't hungry, the food mealy and tasteless on his tongue, but starving himself because of stress wasn't a good idea.

“I mean… yeah,” Yuuri said. “They said that. But they also called me… you know.” He stirred the noodles in circles over his plate. He stood up. “Aria’s stream starts in a few minutes. I think I'm going to finish eating in my room. Don't worry, I'll wash dishes after it's over.”

Phichit sighed. Yuuri took his plate to his room and sat at his computer, opening stream.

He watched with an unhappy set to his mouth, slowly picking at his dinner as Victor explained the ins and outs of making something called syrniki. In the comments, his fans discussed how delicious they looked, how perfect they were. How badly they wanted to eat the food Aria had made. How amazing he looked in that apron.

He wasn't bad at cooking, Yuuri had to admit. Their breakfasts had been amazing. Yuuri had never seen anyone make such a flawless omelet. Victor was perfect. He really was.

When Yuuri closed his eyes, it was almost like Victor was there, speaking to him personally. And yet… it wasn't quite the same. There was a soft edge to his voice that wasn't present when he talked about Makkachin or his last trip to a vineyard with Chris, something that made him sound less interested in food prep than he had been during his late night conversation with Yuuri.

It was true, of course, that everyone loved talking about things they were passionate about. But why did he think Yuuri was worthy to share these things with?

Oh, that was right.

That date. Yuuri set his plate aside suddenly with a sick feeling in his stomach. Victor had taken him on a date. Someone like Victor, thinking Eros was dateable material? Ridiculous. Eros was a hot mess. So was Yuuri. Eros just happened to have shiny, eye-catching packaging to distract from the chaos within.

If they dated, all the messy bits would come out. He couldn't date Victor and not tell him his real name. It wasn't fair. Victor would hate him for certain.

But… even if it did work out… which was impossible, of course… Yuuri’s eyes fluttered tiredly. What would their fans think? Aria was golden and glorious. Eros was just… Eros, the omega fuck hole.

The thought soured in his stomach.

He needed to tell Victor that it just wouldn't work. There were so many reasons. Yuuri thought he was going to throw up. But it needed to be done.

Tomorrow. He could do it tomorrow.

* * *

He didn't overhear any more conversations about himself being a whore online, but it sat in his brain all the next day.

Phichit had bodily dragged him out of bed, and Yuuri grumbled from the floor for a few minutes before shambling into the shower. Not that he was usually much of a morning person.

In class, thoughts would crop into his head. Dread about the phone call, what Victor’s reaction would be. Relief, most likely. Relief that he didn't have to worry about broken, fucked up Eros ruining his show the way Aria had completely ruined Yuuri’s.

It was better this way. Victor was going to be doing one of his rare erotic streams on Friday, a collaborative work with some Chinese beta Yuuri couldn't recall the name of. Yuuri felt a certain sort of way about that, and he wasn't exactly sure what it was.

Excitement, maybe? Yuuri had always loved Aria’s occasional explicit shows, especially as they became less and less commonplace. They became a rare treasure. And he'd get to watch Aria bend someone over, thrust between their thighs, occasionally growl something softly in Russian, something that never failed to send shivers down Yuuri’s spine.

Except the thought of Victor being with someone else made him feel sick. It was ridiculous. Yuuri had no claim to the man. But the same part of Yuuri that loved having Victor inside him, wanted to be filled with his cum on the flight home, also despised the idea of Victor being with someone else. It was something possessive and greedy and overwhelmingly omega.

Which made Yuuri feel worse. Because he was so far out of bounds right now. He needed to cut Victor loose.

He was sick with anxiety.

It was Yuuri’s turn to cook dinner, and he had chicken already defrosted. When Phichit came home, Yuuri knew he needed to ask him for the burner phone.

But at the same time, his mind had started snowballing ideas. If he asked Phichit for the phone, Phichit would ask what it was for, and Yuuri would have to explain what he was doing and why he was doing it, and then if Yuuri chickened out, Phichit would know that Yuuri didn't do it, and it just became a huge mess.

Yuuri focused on cooking up the vegetables and chicken, keeping his head down, his motions rote and robotic. Tomorrow for sure.

He ran a private stream for BigDickDaddy that night. It was something they did once a month. He thought of nothing but Victor the entire time, and he ended up marginally more satisfied than he had been on Sunday, though that was a pitiful accomplishment. It kept him awake for hours when he was done, feeling something close to satisfied but guilty as hell. 

On Wednesday, he couldn't bring himself to face the class with that group of betas and alphas again. There was no deliberate moment where he decided to skip his first class. He just couldn't leave the bed until it was already too late. However, with as guilty as the thought of missing another class left him, he made it to the second lecture.

He needed to talk to Victor today. He needed to end this. For both of their sakes.

They ate leftovers for dinner. Yuuri stared at his food, willing himself to say anything to Phichit. He opened his mouth, then closed it. After dinner. He would ask for the phone when dishes were done.

The phone chirped at them as they were washing up, calling out with all the goodwill of a harbinger of doom.

Yuuri frowned. The phone had been nearly silent the last day or two, which was a relief. It was like everything was back to normal. Normalcy was good. Yuuri tried to tell himself that normal was perfectly fine.

Phichit dried his hands off and leaned against the counter, thumbing at the phone. He blinked in surprise. “Eh? Victor wants to Skype. He says its urgent.”

Yuuri dropped the plate he was holding. It clattered noisily into the sink. “What?” No no no. His heart was lurching into his throat.

“He says he found something, but he doesn't want to explain over text.”

“C-couldn't he just call?” Yuuri sputtered, anxiously checking over the plate to make sure it hadn't chipped in the sudden fall. “Wouldn't that be easier?”

“I mean, who calls anyone these days?” Phichit said. “I don't even text anyone besides from the Eros phone.”

Yuuri frowned. On his regular phone, Phichit used GroupMe, LINE, Telegram, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, WhatsApp, kik, and who knew what all else. The only person Phichit still texted was his mom.

“Maybe he needs to share his screen…” Phichit said. “I can tell him we need a few minutes.”

The stress spiked. “Wait, no-” He broke off. He wanted to say he couldn't do it. But that wasn't fully true, was it?

This was urgent. This was probably related to Eros. Yuuri wasn't sure if he could handle more surprises, but finding out second hand would just hurt more. And worse, Yuuri had put Victor off for three days already. It was irrational to have waited even this long. He was being cowardly, hiding every time instead of confronting the issue.

There were no more excuses. Yuuri wanted to see this for himself. No, he needed to. “... No, it's okay. Tell him it's fine.”

“You're sure?” Phichit asked. “Really, I can just call him.”

Yuuri shook his head. “I should be there. I… I can do this. And if it's urgent, I want to know.”

Phichit hesitated, but nodded. He grabbed his laptop and signed into a Skype account connected to the same email address they used for the Eros twitter and everything else. They sat on the couch beside each other.

Phichit made the call, keying in the username Victor must have texted to him. Victor answered immediately.

His image on the screen hit Yuuri like a physical blow.

He looked completely unlike the put-together face that had been making syrniki yesterday and Yuuri was _reeling_. Victor’s hair was uncombed and mussed, skimming limply over one eye. He looked exhausted. Still effortlessly flawless, nearly perfect, but the faint violet shadows under his eyes were so out of place that it was like the cataclysm.

He was also shirtless, with pants being a virtual unknown. That didn't help. Not with the hickeys still faint and yellowing on his skin.

Yuuri didn't even have time to be shocked. “Bad news,” Victor said immediately, his voice rasping. He clicked around on his computer. Suddenly the screen was mirroring what must have been his own desktop, showing what looked like a sketchy, forum-type website. The screen flipped briefly back to Victor’s face, and he smiled softly, looking worn but pleased. “Hi Eros.”

Yuuri felt his cheeks warm. “Oh… hi, Victor,” he said, barely above a choked whisper. God that sad smile cut like a knife.

“What's going on?” Phichit said. “What's the bad news?”

Victor’s expression turned serious again. Yuuri’s fear was back like a match strike, burning hot and bright. “They're trying to find Eros.”

Phichit’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh, is that all? They started that months ago and gave up. I even increased precautions since then.”

Yuuri let out a small breath. Hiding his location had always been a top priority, and the passing months had only led to more and better countermeasures. Phichit was a master at this. No one was tracing the streams back to Michigan, of that, Phichit had assured him.

“No, that's just the thing,” Victor said, and the screen suddenly mirrored his desktop once more.

The sketchy forum site showed a handful of purple links, each one previously clicked and supposedly read through. Victor’s cursor landed on one and clicked, bringing up a string of replies.

“If you look here, the discussion starts with them trying to find out where Eros is based out of, since they know where I live and wondered about you two. Someone else explains exactly what you just mentioned.”

Yuuri leaned closer to the screen, skimming it over. The gist of it was that the anonymous user had previously tried to locate Eros. But Eros always kept his blinds tightly shut and his curtains drawn, never made any mentions of things happening around him, and was careful not to reveal anything that would stand out as being in any one specific place. Not concerts, not weather, nothing.

As far as this anon was concerned, Eros lived in a bubble. He could be anywhere.

“Thanks for the warning, but this isn't an issue,” Phichit said. He patted Yuuri’s shoulder. “I've got it under control.”

“Are you sure?” Victor asked, scrolling down.

Another anon had replied to the first few. “ _Ok. You got me interested. An impossible to find omega? Sounds fun. I'll find him.”_

A few other comments said similar things.

“They think it's a game now,” Victor said. “Some of these people haven't even seen either of our shows. They do this because they think it's fun and because they're good at it. To them, this is a sport, like capture the flag. Except this time, the flag is you, Eros.”

Yuuri’s eyes went wide. “No…” He could feel himself starting to shake.

They couldn't find him. They couldn't trace this back to Detroit. It would mean the end of everything.

In the same way that certain countries naturally had higher proportions of certain hair and skin colors, so too did countries have tendencies towards certain secondary genders.

In America, everything mixed and mingled until it was about on par with the global averages. Betas in general were the most common, followed by alpha males. After them came omega females, then alpha females, with omega males being the least common.

But in Japan, the frequency of omegas was even lower than the global average. Not only had Yuuri been the only omega male in his hometown, he was almost certain he was one of the only male omegas from Japan at his university.

If Eros was tied to Michigan, it wouldn't be enough for Yuuri to play the Clark Kent to Eros’s Superman. If he was connected to Michigan, anyone he went to school with was certain to put two and two together.

“They're stepping up their efforts. That's why I needed to tell you this,” Victor said. “This wasn't an issue for Chris and I so I don't know how to stop them.”

“Misinformation, lies,” Phichit said. “I don't want to sound overconfident, but they won't get anywhere. They're operating on nothing. The clues all give false information. I've been incredibly careful.”

Victor scrolled. “I don't know if that's enough.” The posters looked thrilled by their challenge. They already tried and failed, tried and failed, and each failure spurred them on. It was so like the way defeat turned so sour in Yuuri’s mind. The hatred of losing. It was making this into a mountain to be conquered.

Phichit shook his head. “The stream comes out of a different location every time, according to the internet. The mics aren't strong enough to pick up rain, so weather shouldn't help them locate us. They can't look out windows for landmarks. And we don't leave school logos and local merchandise laying around. They don't have anything solid. And now that I know about this, I can make it worse, feed them false info. Confuse the leads.”

“Will it work?” Victor asked. “They look determined.”

“It has to,” Phichit growled. “I can't let them find Eros. Doing this was my idea in the first place. I'm not going to let him be found.”

Victor’s screen flipped back to his face. He nodded solemnly, then glanced toward Yuuri. “Eros. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't realize that bringing you on my show would bring this much attention to you.”

“Why are they doing this?” Yuuri asked. His voice cracked. Fear mixed with desire and remorse and a thousand other emotions in his mind. He couldn't stop trembling. Victor was here, in front of him, no less beautiful in his disarray, bearing the worst news all week.

“Curiosity, I would imagine. Why does anyone do anything? Because they want to,” Victor spat. “But I feel responsible for doing this to you when I brought you onto my show. I will do everything in my power to help fix this. You deserve your privacy.”

“Call them off,” Phichit said. “Some of them might be fans of yours. You might be able to convince some of them to give up if you tell them to respect Eros’s privacy. I don't know how many of them are motivated by the Extravaganza, but at least a few of them might be your viewers. It doesn't have to be a mention in your streams, I can't ask for that much. But a tweet about respecting privacy might help. I'll do the same over here.”

“I can do that. Please, Phichit, there must be something more I can do. Chris already mentioned we should tread carefully, but it feels like this isn't enough to stop them,” Victor begged.

“It isn't. But if we push too hard, it will only make it seem like more of a challenge. That's how the internet works. As soon as you make it a challenge, it's all over. The internet always wins.”

“And that's about what Masumi said,” Victor sighed, rubbing his temples anxiously. He pushed his hair back from his face. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't think this would happen when I brought you on, Eros.” He glanced at Yuuri.

“Send me the link to that site, I'm going to keep an eye on it in case they announce what they plan to try. Do they have any guesses yet?” Phichit said. He was already pulling up a browser.

Victor shook his head. “Not as far as I can tell, thankfully. You haven't made it easy on them.”

“You're damn right, I haven't,” Phichit said. “I've got some ideas, but it comes down to what they've found. I'll need to watch this to decide what I release. In all your experience, though, how does this usually turn out?”

Victor looked grim. “Well, doxxing isn't unheard of, especially in this industry. It could be something as simple as them wanting to send Eros sex toys and lingerie. God knows fans send me enough of that. But they could have other motives as well, and trust me when I say that it isn't pretty. As long as Eros keeps his name and location private, they don't have anything on him. They can't touch him. Not his private life, anyway. But it just takes one key piece of identifying information and they can find almost anyone.”

Yuuri clutched at the sofa. He couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening. Victor turned to him.

“Eros, they haven't found you yet. Just keep your private information secret and they can't touch you,” he said. “It will be alright. I can't imagine they'll be interested in this too long. Something will come along and distract them eventually.”

“But how do you know?” Yuuri choked.

“I don't,” Victor said. He looked visibly distressed at the thought. “I don't know anything about these kinds of people or why they do this.”

Yuuri could feel his hands moving through his hair, anxious and fluttering, but he didn't remember when he'd started.

“They can't find me,” he gasped. “This was supposed to stay a secret. If it gets out, I'm ruined. No dance company in the world would want someone who cams as a performer. I- I’ll never get a job, my family would- oh god, my family could find out-”

Phichit pulled his face around. “Breathe, deep breaths, come on.”

Yuuri closed his eyes and gasped like a fish.

“Eros. Please don't take this the wrong way,” Victor said. “You have a show tonight, yes? Cancel it.”

“But… but they're expecting me- I can't- I have to-” he babbled.

“Please, Eros, please. You're in no state to stream. And I don't want them to find you. Take tonight for yourself,” Victor begged, staring into the camera with wide eyes. “Your fans will have to understand that things come up. Phichit, can you think of an excuse?”

“I've got dozens. Eros, please, Victor’s right. If they're trying to find you, it might be smart to not do this tonight. I can take some time to put more precautions in place before Saturday, if you still want to do it then.”

Phichit looked at him imploringly. Yuuri’s lower lip trembled. He could feel himself getting slightly more in control of his emotions, the sharp shuddering breaths. Victor's soft, pleading expression was tearing at his gut. “... fine,” he said quietly.

Everyone kept saying it would be fine. Phichit continually assured him that things were alright. Victor was telling him this would blow over. But it wasn't getting better. The situation was only going to get worse. There was no question about that.

If this was a game, if people wanted his location, then they wanted his identity. They wanted his name. They wanted to find Yuuri. And they would find that Yuuri was tissue paper beneath them, easily crumpled and ruined at a few words.

Yuuri had heard stories of cam models getting doxxed. One girl had her nudes sent to everyone on her Facebook friends list. They harassed her, her family, her friends, even called her personal cellphone just to listen to her cry and beg them to stop.

If they turned their attention to Eros, tried to find his real name…

Yuuri took a shaky breath. He was so scared he'd gone right past panic and into disbelief. If they hadn't been alerted by Victor, they never would have known about this. Phichit wouldn't be thinking of counterattacks and ways to strengthen the walls. And if that hadn't happened, his information would be discovered and released. It still might. But they had a fighting chance now. Phichit was the best. Phichit could figure this out.

His next few breaths were slightly steadier.

He glanced at Victor. “You don't you want to know my name?” he said, a little harder than he meant to. “Everyone else seems to.”

Victor smiled sadly. “Truthfully? I would love to know your name. But this isn't right. I don't want to find it out like this. I would much rather you tell me in person, Eros, if you ever felt ready to share it with me.”

If he ever felt ready? Not when?

“Ah… Phichit? Can I speak with Eros in private for a moment?” Victor asked lightly. Yuuri froze.

Phichit nodded. He gave Victor a hard look that must have meant something, because Victor put his hands up in a show of innocence.

“A little faith?” he said.

“Control yourself,” Phichit grumbled. He plopped the laptop into Yuuri’s lap. To Yuuri, he said, “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Yuuri nodded woodenly. Shit. He needed to tell Victor now. But the news made everything so much more confusing. Yuuri screwed his eyes shut, wincing. No. Nothing had changed. Not enough. The plan was the same.

“Eros,” Victor breathed. He said it like it was something special, and it made Yuuri feel like crying. What would Yuuri’s own name sound like in that tone? 

They stared at each other for a long time. It was quiet. Everything else was going to shit anyway. Yuuri just needed to say it.

“We need to talk,” both of them said, approximately at the same time. Yuuri snapped his jaw shut. Victor blinked at him.

“Y-you first,” Yuuri said automatically. He regretted the courtesy almost as soon as he said it. He could already feel his nerve wavering.

Victor dipped his head, eyes closing. “Eros. I want you to know, I didn't call tonight to pressure you into a decision. I… I'm trying to give you space. I really am. But… please, can I say one thing? Just… something else for you to think about?” His eyes opened, so painfully blue they cut like knives of ice.

No, Yuuri wanted to say. He gave a small nod, unsure of his ability to speak. As if he could deny that pleading look.

Victor cleared his throat softly. “I really did enjoy having you around, even if nothing else, then as a friend. I like being around you. And if you only want to be friends, that's fine, Eros. You’ll always be welcome on any of my shows. But I really would love to get the chance to take you out to dinner on a real date, one we both know is happening. I can be better, I can. I know… I gather that you have… reservations, but-”

“Reservations?” Yuuri blurted, confused.

Victor nodded. “... yes? I know I'm a little clingy, I'm sorry, Eros, I- well, I’m really trying not to be like that. People have told me I come on too strong so I-”

“Victor.” Victor broke off, watching Yuuri’s blank expression with something inscrutable on his face.

Yuuri couldn't believe it. Victor thought he was the problem. He was… trying to impress Eros. Trying to be something Eros would want.

The realization came with a rush of a thousand emotions Yuuri couldn't even begin to comprehend, not with his nerves ripped as ragged as they were now. He felt exhausted after the week he'd just had, and it was getting fucking worse, and now suddenly Victor was insisting that the reason Yuuri would turn him down was not because Yuuri was a raging dumpster fire with a human face, but because Victor was clingy.

Clingy.

Sure, Victor had been a bit overly fond of physical contact. But that was nothing. Nothing at all. But even more baffling than the thought that Victor considered being clingy something unforgivable, something terrible enough to drive Eros away, was the idea that Victor thought he needed to change at all, let alone change for Yuuri.

Yuuri was at a loss. “You don't have to be someone else to impress me, if that's what you think,” he said softly.

He curled his fingers tighter around Phichit’s laptop. The image in the screen was a little blurry. Victor’s webcam wasn't as nice as his professional grade cameras.

Victor’s pale hair had a slightly greasy wave to it, the kind that came from someone running their fingers through it again and again, pushing it back from their face, just like Victor was doing now. He wondered what Victor's scent was right now, if it would smell as anxious as Yuuri's, or if it would just be Yuuri's overactive imagination. 

“Victor, I-” Yuuri broke off. If he was better at fooling himself, he could pretend that the loss of words was because he didn't know how to arrange them in English. But the truth was that he couldn't bear to say them in any language he knew. Instead, he said, “You shouldn't have to be someone you aren't for the sake of someone else.”

Victor’s expression was soft, shocked, his lips slightly parted. His mouth closed.

Yuuri could almost hear Phichit calling him a filthy hypocrite.

Vicchan butted against Yuuri’s hands, and Yuuri scooped him up, cradling the toy poodle close to his chest for comfort. Vicchan licked his cheek.

“Hi there, puppy,” Victor murmured, wagging his finger at the screen. “Makkachin misses you, you know. Both of you.” Vicchan’s tail wagged as a fluffy head poked into the frame, boofing happily at the mention of her name. Victor scratched Makkachin’s ears.

Nothing made sense anymore. Yuuri’s insides were being run through a wringer of emotional torment, and all he could do was hold back the sudden wave of tears. He thought he knew what was best, what he wanted, and then Victor had to tug at his heart and make him doubt everything again. He had to lose his nerve. Lose his resolve.

Everything would be so much better for both of them if this ended right now. Damn Victor for making Yuuri’s heart race with just a few words. Damn Yuuri for being so weak.

He glanced at the corner of his screen.

He couldn't bite back the sour laugh. “Oh. I look horrible,” he realized, because if he didn't laugh, he'd cry instead, because fuck if everything wasn't going absolutely to shit right now enough already. Twenty minutes into the Skype call and finally Yuuri realized he hadn't even combed his damn hair, let alone pushed it back from his face. His dorky blue glasses were perched on his nose.

He looked like Yuuri, except worse. This was Yuuri after an absolute shitshow of a week, dressed in leggings and a ridiculous floral sweater Mari had mailed him as a joke after he'd complained about missing hanami one too many times. This was Yuuri with the sweat from his studio time still salty on his face because he didn't shower before dinner. Yuuri, who was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and as far from Eros as possible.

And still Victor said, “I think you're beautiful. Stressed, but beautiful.”

Yuuri choked on air before he scoffed quietly. “You don't have to lie. I wasn't kidding when I said you don't have to pretend to be something you're not. I know I'm not a whole lot to look at without the eyeliner and hair gel.” He pushed his hair back from his face, but it flopped tiredly back over his forehead. He took the glasses off. He squinted at the screen. It was marginally better.

“Who says I was lying?” Victor said. His expression was impossible to make out between the camera and the lack of glasses. “Hmm. Eros, you look tired. Is everything alright?”

“Fine,” Yuuri said. “Class is just… busy.”

Victor nodded. “I remember uni. Never enough hours in the day, unreasonably difficult classes, and the strangest mix of people you'll ever meet. Anything I can help with?”

Yuuri shook his head. “No.” Victor couldn't do a thing about the group of guys in his lecture, and Yuuri didn't expect him to. “But… thank you.”

Victor nodded, scratching Makkachin behind the ears. “No problem. Oh, Eros, was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Of course there was.

“Not really,” Yuuri murmured. “Just… ah… that I… I'm sorry, I need a little more time.” Coward. He was such a coward. But he couldn't help the fact that every fiber in his body was crying out for him to say ‘yes’ except his brain, which knew better and screamed ‘no’. It was tearing him apart.

Victor dipped his head. “I understand. I'm sorry to bother you, Eros.”

“No, not at all!” Yuuri said quickly.

It was awkwardly quiet for a long moment before Victor let out a soft sigh. “I should let you get back to your evening. Goodnight, Eros. And I am sorry about your show tonight, and about the news. Are you sure you'll be alright?”

Yuuri nodded. “It’ll be fine. Um. Thank you for letting us know. I know you didn't have to do that. And… goodnight, Victor.”

Victor offered him one last smile, so painfully beautiful even in his state of disarray, before the call finally disconnected.

Yuuri’s face fell into his hands and he broke down. He felt Phichit pat him on the shoulder before slowly lifting the laptop, setting it aside. Yuuri hadn't even heard him leave his room.

“Fuck,” Yuuri choked.

“Agreed,” Phichit said simply.

He sat beside Yuuri, folding him into his arms, and Yuuri went limp, soaking the shoulder of Phichit’s shirt with tears. His whole body shook. Phichit rubbed small circles into his back.

“If it makes you feel better, I did some digging on my phone while you were talking. An hour on my computer and I think I can ruin most of their methods. Two and I can probably lead them breadcrumbs steering them in entirely the wrong direction.”

Yuuri nodded. “It helps a little,” he murmured. “Phichit… I'm so confused. What do I do?”

“About the show? Trust me, I can take care of everything. This isn't good, but it's workable,” Phichit soothed. “Victor’s heads up means I can make sure you’re harder to find. It’ll be okay.”

Yuuri shook his head. “Not just that… Phichit… I can’t date Victor. I _can’t_. There's so many reasons I shouldn't. But... “ His whole body shuddered. “Phichit, I think I want to.”

It was terrifying to admit even that much. Maybe Phichit could see it, the raw horror and maybe even the slightly masochistic thrill that came from saying it. Because it was scary. It was raw. But damn if it didn’t make his heart race like he’d just finished the hardest performance of his life.

Yuuri had been so certain before tonight. He never expected it to be easy to tell Victor that this wouldn’t work, but he hadn’t expected his own feelings to make it so absolutely impossible to say this wouldn't work. Victor’s soft expression, the warmth in his eyes… Even if it was just for Eros, it made Yuuri feel like he was something better than what he knew he was.

And if Victor could make him feel like this, even now, from 2000 miles away, it was even scarier to think how much it could impact him if this went any further.

Maybe it was just a stupid omega thing. Maybe he liked feeling like an alpha like Victor was looking out for him. But a part of Yuuri said that wasn't it. It was because Victor didn't have to do this at all. If he was like the others, if all he wanted was Yuuri's name, he could have just left this a secret. He could have said nothing. But he didn't. 

Even more surprising, he didn't automatically expect to get Yuuri's name just from dating him, either. 

“I don't know what to tell you, Yuuri,” Phichit said, shaking his head. “When you talk to him, you light up. You look so happy. And he looks really happy when he sees you, too. Is it really so scary to give it a shot?”

“But what happens when it doesn't work?” Yuuri buried his face in Vicchan’s fur. He hugged the poodle a little tighter.

Phichit sighed. “No one goes into a relationship expecting it to fail. Either it works or it doesn't. But people still try, and that’s all you can do. If you like each other, you try.”

Yuuri almost wanted to ask what Phichit would do in his situation. But the truth was that Yuuri already had a pretty good idea. Phichit wouldn't hesitate. He wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him. And he certainly wouldn't be afraid of things going awry, not like Yuuri.

“But…” Yuuri said softly. “But that's just Eros. He likes Eros. What if he hates Yuuri?”

“Then he's a fool. Yuuri is pretty damn great, in my opinion. The only problem as far as I can see is that Yuuri might be a little bit of a hypocrite.” Phichit gave him a pointed look.

Yuuri shook his head. “It's different.”

“Is it?” Phichit said. “I'm not saying it would be easy. And I think Victor already knows it won't be simple. But don't be so afraid to be happy, Yuuri. You deserve it. Say it. You deserve happiness.”

“I-” He choked. “I deserve… happiness…” he muttered. It was hard to say the words and harder to believe them. He shuddered. “I deserve happiness.”

“Yes you do. Hey. You know, it's the first time in a while we've had a Wednesday night open. We could always invite Lee and Ji over. Watch a horror movie like old times?”

Yuuri sniffled. Did he even want to see other people right now? The answer was a big fat no, but of course, that was Yuuri’s default reaction. But horror movies were fun. And Guang Hong and Seung Gil were the easiest of Phichit’s friends for Yuuri to get along with. The pair of betas were closer to Yuuri in personality than to Phichit, and it was a comforting thing to be around them. 

“That... might be nice,” he said after a moment’s consideration.

Wednesday nights were always spent in front of a cam anymore. It had been so long since they'd just hung out for the fun of it. It sounded nice. Really nice, the more he considered it. At the very least, it would be something to take his mind off the world crashing down around him.

It wasn't like there was anything Yuuri could do. He just had to trust Phichit. The helplessness of the situation was the worst part, but it also had a strange feeling of relief with it. If Yuuri’s future was entirely left in his own hands, it would have crashed and burned long ago.

Phichit nodded. “Alright. We both know Seung Gil isn’t doing anything fun right now, so I’ll see if Guang Hong is free. Now gimme my laptop. I’m going to get started as soon as I tell them to bring their asses over here.”

Phichit snagged his computer, grabbing his phone, and dialed Seung Gil first, pacing around the room as he tried to convince him to come over. He was always the harder sell of the two. It wasn't that he didn't like them, he just didn't see the need to do things he didn't want to do. Sometimes Yuuri wished he had Seung Gil's ability to say 'no'.

Yuuri stress-petted Vicchan and tried to calm his racing thoughts about Victor and everything else.

An hour later, after Seung Gil had been persuaded and Guang Hong cheerily announced he wasn't busy, after Phichit had gotten a solid head start on his preventative measures for previous and future streams, the four were together at last in the apartment living room.

Yuuri had evolved into a burrito, a warm blanket wrapped tightly around him, his feet tucked under him, and Phichit was tossing pillows around the room to make the sitting room more cozy. “So, Seung Gil said he'd only come over if we watched A Tale of Two Sisters, does anyone have objections?” Phichit announced. Yuuri was quiet off to the side, and he shook his head.

Swing Gil didn't usually enjoy scary movies, but the Korean flick was one of his favorites. Yuuri didn't care. Scary was scary, and nothing supernatural would ever be as frightening as real life.

“Nooo,” Guang Hong protested. “I wanted to watch a thriller.”

“I mean, it's kind of a thriller,” Phichit said. He had Yuuri’s laptop open to a sketchy movie site, an hdmi cable stretching from the computer to the television.

“Not like a crime movie,” Guang Hong said. Seung Gil shot him a withering look. “Oh fine. I guess it's alright.”

“Is there popcorn?” Seung Gil said. “I was under the impression there would be popcorn, too.”

“Sure sure,” Phichit said. “Pantry. Help yourself.”

Seung Gil headed to the kitchen. Phichit and Guang Hong chatted for a while. Yuuri sat quietly, stewing over the new information while the distant pops echoed. Seung Gil returned with a bowl and they sat to watch their movie.

It was fun. Yuuri wasn't talkative, but the distraction helped more than words could describe.

Yuuri caught Guang Hong staring at him more than once. But it wasn't until close to the end of the night, when they had cracked open a bottle of cheap spiced rum they mixed with coke, that Guang Hong finally said anything.

“Yuuri, is everything alright?” Guang Hong asked. He smiled softly over his drink. “You still seem sad.”

“Ah, I'm fine,” Yuuri said. His eyes flicked around the room. Was it so obvious? “It's nothing to worry about.”

Guang Hong hummed. “I'm sure it's nothing, but even so. Have you ever tried talking to the campus counselors? Not that I think you need to. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone to talk to.”

“I talk to Phichit,” Yuuri said, blinking, confused.

“Yeah, Yuuri tells me everything,” Phichit said.

“Oh, of course. Sorry,” Guang Hong said. “It's just where I like to go when I'm feeling stressed. And I'm sorry, Yuuri, but you look stressed right now.”

Seung Gil glanced at him, appraising with a quick glance. “Hmm. He's right. You look tired.”

“I'm fine,” Yuuri insisted. He resisted the urge to find a mirror to find out just how 'tired' he really looked.

Guang Hong gave him a worried look. “If you're sure…” Yuuri offered him a weak smile and a nod.

They turned another movie on, watching it until it was late enough that they would all likely regret it in class the next morning. But Yuuri was glad for the distraction, because the moment they'd left, as soon as he'd dressed down in pajamas, the quiet crept up on him.

It sent his mind racing in that way he always despised. At first, it had been the horror of looking like a gremlin in front of Victor. Then it became a procession of thoughts about why Victor could have looked so disheveled. And when his imagination reached the end of its list of scenarios he could imagine where the legendary Aria himself could ever look less than 100% perfect, Yuuri started to circle back to the real issues.

Morning was slow to come.

Yuuri did get a little sleep, but it was restless and only served to make things worse.

At breakfast, Phichit rattled off the new safeguards he had implemented. He had an old Facebook page that he fixed up to look like the lightly used page of a reclusive but still sexy omega, a third identity Phichit had made up to play the role of Eros’s secret identity.

This identity was named Touma Itō, a quiet Japanese omega from Hokkaido who was in Colorado at the moment, and who liked to keep his location private, though he did an exceedingly poor job of it. Phichit even threw some older Eros pictures on there that had never been released elsewhere to give it more realism. The older iterations of Eros were a little more slovenly dressed, and so they almost passed for casual wear for someone like the ever-stylish, sophisticated Eros.

Phichit had made a fake account for MemeLord as well, having a good laugh as he made him a Texas citizen named Kiet Chaiprasit whose parents moved them all to the states a few years previous. He grabbed some photos of one of his distant cousins he knew wouldn't know or care and added filters and drawings over the top until they were almost unrecognizable.

He had gone all out on these, and it certainly explained why he had been chuckling to himself throughout both horror movies, if he had built these fake identities from the ground up. He had dotted them with reviews of restaurants local to the area of Colorado where the pair supposedly lived, likes for local businesses, and other such information that would look like careless suggestions of where they lived.

The hope was that these wouldn't be found at all, but if they were, it was still better than people finding Yuuri and Phichit. People could mess with Touma and Kiet all they liked, it would never affect Yuuri and Phichit.

Meanwhile, among other things, Phichit had upgraded to a better, slightly more expensive VPN that would supposedly be harder to pin down. Yuuri had only the fuzziest of ideas about what this entailed thanks to the crime dramas that were all over American television, but it seemed that it was possible for hackers to identify your IP address and from there discover the general area of your internet service provider. Whatever it meant, it meant that hackers could pinpoint them to Detroit, and it was critical that it didn't happen.

Phichit also put a flat ban on Skype calls with anyone they didn't know personally, not that Yuuri did that to begin with. “It's like saying fuck you to the proxies, Skype basically hands over your IP address regardless of where your internet is supposedly coming from,” he grumbled.

Yuuri nodded, pretending he understood.

What was easier to understand was Phichit explaining which excuse he'd gone with last night. On both twitter and the Eros website, he'd posted that Vicchan had swallowed something he shouldn't have and was at the vet. This morning, he'd posted another tweet to say that Vicchan would be fine, and to thank their followers for the outpouring of support that had come through last night.

As he'd explained this to Yuuri, Phichit had scooped up Vicchan and scuffed his curly fur with a grin. “Who's a good boy, giving Eros the perfect excuse? No one can be angry for Eros taking care of his puppy like a responsible dog owner. And if they do, his own fans will chew them out for being animal hating assholes. It's perfect.”

And knowing that his identity was a little bit safer was a load off his shoulders. His heart still ached for Victor, but the general anxiety was less of a rolling boil now and more of an agitated simmer, not quite as prone to bubbling over.

He was tired, distracted, and he was sure his attention in class suffered for it. By now, most of his own hickeys had faded to faint yellow. He didn't know if it was relieving or upsetting.

More and more of his time in LA was fading away. Not that Victor didn't offer.

In class, Yuuri thought back to Victor’s offer in the airport, right before his confession. He did say Yuuri could come back…

The idea curled pleasantly in his gut. Yuuri would of course have to pay his own airfare, he wouldn't want to make Victor pay out of pocket to fly him out. But the thought of Victor’s scent around him again made his heartbeat skitter erratically.

Maybe it didn't even have to be for a show. Maybe he could fly back and Victor could bend him over that marble countertop in the kitchen, take him on the couch, or lay him out on that wonderful bed of his, just to fuck him until he couldn't walk again. To have Victor so deep, reaching places even his favorite toys couldn't touch…

Yuuri’s cheeks were red. He banished the thoughts quickly. He was in public. These were not decent thoughts to have while sitting in a lecture hall. It wasn't just the fact that his normal routine of masturbating on Wednesday nights for his audience had been interrupted.

Things felt different around Victor. It wasn't something Yuuri could really put into words. It wasn't just that having sex with him was probably one of the highlights of Yuuri’s entire existence. Yuuri had fantasized about being screwed by Aria long before he'd ever met him.

It was the easy conversations, the way Victor made him feel when that sweet, heart-shaped smile crept into his face.

It was a bit of a heady feeling, making someone smile. The good times from that week had been so good. And maybe the bad times were just forgotten, but all Yuuri could find himself falling back on were the memories of having fun. It did things to him, it really did.

Entertaining the idea of them dating was… strange. Not entirely in a bad way, anymore, either. Just in the kind of way where a nervous excitement built inside of him at the thought, in a way Yuuri had never felt before.

Maybe he wasn't okay. Maybe he wasn't doing as well as he once thought he was. Because maybe, just maybe, he'd left his heart with Victor, and he didn't even know if he really wanted it back.

* * *

 “Victor wants to know if you're doing alright,” Phichit said.

“Really?” Yuuri asked, surprised.

Phichit nodded, tossing the burner phone to Yuuri. The screen showed a pair of text messages from the man himself.

 **Received:** Phichit, can you ask Eros if he's doing alright? I feel so bad asking him to skip his show last night.

 **Received:** Also, Vicchan isn't really hurt, is he?? D:

Yuuri sighed, curling his fingers around the phone. Fuck, it hurt. The ache in his chest, the longing.

“I… I can answer,” Yuuri said, surprising himself almost as much as he surprised Phichit.

Phichit blinked a few times. “Are you sure?”

Yuuri paused, considered it, then nodded. “Yeah. I think I am.”

He carried the phone to his room, staring at the messages until the words were burned into his memory.

He didn't know where to begin, what to say. Yuuri was definitely not alright. His skin was buzzing and he'd probably have to jerk off tonight or tomorrow. His identity was at risk of being exposed. He might like Victor more than he should.

He read his reply a dozen times before he realized he had no idea what else to say, or how to make it sound better.

 **Sent:** It's Eros. I'm alright, but thank you. And Vicchan is just fine. That was Phichit’s excuse.

He circled the send button and finally hit it, closing his eyes. This was a test. Just a little test. A reply came back almost instantly.

 **Received:** Eros! Hi hi! I'm so glad you and Vicchan are okay!

Yuuri stared at the message in disbelief. It was so much faster than he'd expected. Another followed it almost immediately.

 **Received:** Did Phichit get things sorted out???

Yuuri hummed and sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his phone. His heart was beating a little faster.

 **Sent:** I think so. He's made a few changes to how he runs things. It should be more secure now. And he's keeping an eye on the site

 **Received:** That's good! ^-^

 **Sent:** It is. Thanks again for letting us know, Victor, really.

 **Received:** No problem, Eros  <3 If you two need anything else, let me know.

 **Received:** I'm always happy to help.

Without more than a moment’s delay, another message came through.

 **Received:** Oh, Eros! By the way! Makkachin was just the cutest thing today!! <333

A picture was sent, showing Makkachin covered in pink flowers, panting happily at the camera as Mila and a dark-haired woman braided more into Makkachin’s fur. A surly-looking man glowered at the camera in the distance, a blond man with scruffy facial hair beaming beside him.

Yuuri cooed. It was adorable. He didn't recognize most of the people in the picture, but Makkachin looked pleased enough.

 **Sent:** She’s precious!

Yuuri hesitated, then snapped a quick picture of Vicchan curled up and snoozing beside Yuuri’s pillow, sending it before he could second guess himself.

 **Sent:** Vicchan is sad he missed the fun (´∩｀。)

 **Received:** D: That’s such a sad face!! How did you make it???

Which led to Yuuri explaining kaomoji to Victor. It turned out that Victor was fascinated by the little faces. Yuuri regretted explaining them almost as soon as he’d finished- Victor went slightly overboard with them. And by slightly, Yuuri quickly meant completely. It was kind of adorable, how excited he got.

Victor had even picked a favorite already. The main drawback of all of this was that he kept sending ones with hearts for mouths. As if Victor wasn't making this hard enough for him already. As if Yuuri needed another reminder of Victor’s smile.

They texted for awhile, and Yuuri couldn't quite wipe the small smile off his face. It was hard to believe how nice it was just to talk with Victor. And with texting, there was even less pressure than talking in person. Which was why Victor’s message took him by surprise an hour into their conversation.

 **Received:** Oh no ( ; _ ; ) Yuri is yelling at me to put my phone down.

 **Received:** I mean, we’re at dinner, but he says he's going to take my phone away from me.

 **Sent:** ( ´△｀)  you're not ignoring Yuri just to text me, are you?

 **Received:** … maybe? (　˙-˙　) But I always spend time with Yuri. I never get to text you </3

 **Sent:** But weren't you the one who said being on their phone during dinner was rude?

 **Received:** … maybe.

 **Received:** I just told him I was texting you, so it's fine (´♡`ʃƪ)

Immediately, Yuuri's own phone buzzed. He glanced away from the burner to his own phone.

 **Yuri:** What did you do to Victor

Yuuri frowned.

 **Me:** what do you mean?

 **Yuri:** whatever

 **Yuri:** never mind

Yuuri tried to figure out what Yuri meant by this when Victor sent him another message.

 **Received:** I'm so sorry, Eros, I really should pay attention to Yuri (;´д｀) But I really would rather talk to you right now. Can I text you again after dinner?

 **Received:** please?

Yuuri wasn't sure which was more surprising, that Victor sounded regretful that he had to pay attention during dinner, or that he wanted to keep talking afterward. Yuuri bit his lip.

 **Sent:** sure

Was it too much? Too little? Should he have added punctuation or would it have made it too formal? Would capitalizing it have made it seem to excited? Did leaving it lower case like that make him look disinterested?

The reply was instantaneous.

 **Received:** (´♡`) Yay! I'll text you again in a few hours, then, Eros <333

 **Sent:** but you'd better pay attention to Yuri!

 **Sent:** it's not fair to him to ignore him!

 **Received:** okay <3

Yuuri set the two phones aside at last, a little dazed. Phichit was fiddling with his computer when Yuuri finally stepped out of his room.

“Hey Phichit…?” Yuuri said. Phichit glanced up. “Do you mind if I hold on to the burner for a little while longer?”

“I mean, that's fine. But why?”

Yuuri sat beside him, trying to think of what to say. “Well, Victor is eating with Yuri right now, so he wanted to text more later.”

Phichit lit up. “Wait, Yuuri? Have you been texting him this whole time?”

“Um. Yeah. Kind of,” Yuuri said sheepishly. “Is that bad? I feel like that might be bad.”

“Why would it be bad?” Phichit asked. He set his computer aside.

Yuuri scuffed his foot on the floor. “I don't know… just… I haven't given him an answer yet.”

But truthfully, Yuuri had his answer already. The test had been more than he could have ever expected. It had told him a lot, and he had only a few questions left now.

“Well, I mean, if you're leading him on by doing this, it is a bit of a dick move, I'm not gonna lie to you, Yuuri. But I know you're not doing that, and you're allowed to figure it out at your own pace,” Phichit said. “And rushing a decision isn't going to help.”

“I know that,” Yuuri muttered. “I do. But… it's like… when I talk to him, it feels like he's talking to Yuuri, even when he's talking to Eros. It's not like dealing with viewers. He treats me like a person, but he still thinks I'm beautiful. He says I'm beautiful, Phichit. And every time he does, it feels like I can't breathe anymore, it's like my heart is going to explode. And even when I know he's just being nice, you know, at least he's nice enough to say it.”

Yuuri turned the phone end over end in his hands. Guang Hong had been right about one thing. Getting it all off his chest was so freeing.

“My viewers are nice, but… they always sound like they want something from me. From Eros. And that's fine, that's what Eros is for. But… with Victor… I don't have much to offer him. He's got everything. But for some reason, he likes me anyway.”

All those people that let Victor down in the past suddenly stood out so clearly in Yuuri’s mind, the ones Victor said ran from him just because he was substantially endowed, or because he was ‘clingy’ or whatever stupid reason Victor gave for people being too foolish to see the amazing man in front of them. Yuuri wasn't going to be one of them. Even when Victor grew bored of him, Yuuri had already made up his mind.

For as long as this lasted, no matter how much it hurt, Yuuri wanted this. He wanted a taste of this.

“Wow, Yuuri,” Phichit said, grinning. He leaned forward, a knowing look on his face. “If I didn't know better, I'd think you were psyching yourself up for something.”

Yuuri smiled a little to himself. “Really?”

He leaned back into the couch, turning his smile to the ceiling. He couldn't wait for Victor to text back.  

* * *

Phichit glared at his computer. It was late, closer to dawn than midnight. But there was work to do. His eyes went wide.

“Oh, you little shits,” he muttered, clicking the thread.

Using his own region blocks against him. Passably clever. The brute force method would be slow, but effective. They were using the cities where the site would and wouldn't load to map out where the region blocks were, planning on using that to narrow the search area. 

Good thing Phichit had left a few extra laying around just in case. There was a reason Hokkaido, some areas of Colorado, spans of Canada near the border, a few counties of Texas, and several other places randomly dotted mostly around the United States were all blocked like they were.

As if Detroit would be the only city within the region block. That was like painting a huge target on their backs.

Phichit smirked. “Well, that's an idea…” He hammered out a quick post and submitted it. “Let’s see how you like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cam girls and cam boys make most of their money through private cam sessions, but I didn't realize that until recently so whoops. Everyone messes up sometimes haha. Private cam sessions charge by the minute, so that's pretty damn lucrative. Plus, Yuuri’s dedicated fans would totally want private sessions.
> 
> I didn't go into detail on this particular cam session for two reasons: length of the chapter, and kinks. I know daddy kink is really hit or miss for some people, and someone with the name BigDickDaddy is clearly going to involve some daddy kink into their sessions. But mostly I left it out for length reasons, because my chapters are already 10k words each thereabouts. Don't worry, I'll get some more smut in here soon :) and I will include private cams if people want them. Does anyone have any requests of which users should get one? 
> 
>  
> 
> Doxxing is horrific, but your average case won't get anywhere without a few key pieces of info. As long as you are extremely careful with the information you provide, most of it can be prevented. One camgirl took a picture with a prescription bottle. By using just her name and her doctor’s name, they found her location, her Facebook, her identity, and that led to them making her life a living nightmare.
> 
> However, be warned. Some enterprising people can use even the smallest clues. 4Chan found Shia Lebouf’s live stream of a flag against the sky by using the contrails of the passing airplanes to figure out where he was. That's fucking ridiculous to think about. A bedroom is a much more controlled environment, at the very least. 
> 
> And about the chem student at the start of the chapter? I've absolutely got a friend like that. Two, actually. But one prefers to make shape charges out of wine bottles and the other would rather make homemade thermite. I have dangerous friends.


	12. But Too Much Makes it Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri faces a decision that has been a long time coming, and confronts an issue he never would have considered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for all the amazing comments and kudos and support! You guys are the best. Thanks for being so patient. I'll probably edit this note in like 12 hours to say more but for now, this is it! Enjoy Chapter 12!

The fluttering pressure in his chest built with every passing minute. He could see the slight tremble in his hands. 

“So he's at dinner right now?” Phichit said, filling the quiet. 

“Yeah. With Yuri, I guess. Maybe other people, too, but I don't know for sure.”

“It's so weird that his cousin has the same name as you,” Phichit said. He leaned back in the couch, his feet kicked up on the coffee table. 

Yuuri shrugged. Whether Phichit was aware of it or not, the distraction was just the thing he needed. “My name has a longer ‘u’ sound. But you're right, it is a little weird. We could give him a nickname or something when we talk about him here, maybe?”

“Like the little asshole?” Phichit suggested. 

Yuuri cracked a little smile. “He's really not so bad,” he said. He still remembered what Yuri had done for him when he'd gotten lost. It felt like it had been so long ago, but it had barely been a week since then. Yuuri’s hands stopped shaking. 

What had Yuri said? Something about Victor not being a god just because he had a big dick. But Victor wasn't a god, Yuuri knew that, and it wasn't just because of his thick cock that Yuuri felt so nervous about this. Victor wasn't a god. And yet even so, he was still far above where Eros was. He'd worked hard to get where he was, at the top of the camming world. 

“I'll believe it when I see it,” Phichit said. He was scowling a little. “Ok, not little asshole then. How about ‘that one blond shit I don't like’?”

Yuuri thumbed his chin. “He reminds me of Mari’s favorite idol.” 

Phichit laughed. “Mari follows idols?” 

Yuuri rolled his eyes. “Not really, but there's this one boy band she likes. I forget the singer’s name… Takao, maybe?”

“Taka-ooohh,” Phichit sang, off key. “Haha, I really can't see your sister liking boy bands.”

Yuuri laughed. “Yeah, I know. But she doesn't care what people think. She's always done whatever she's wanted. She even bleached her hair blond a while back, just to match Takao’s.” 

The more Yuuri thought about it, the more he realized the resemblance between Takao and Yuri was slightly uncanny. Yes, Takao dyed his hair and wore contact lenses, but they had a similar sense of innocence to their looks that seemed innate, even if Yuri’s personality was completely different from mild-mannered Takao. 

“Hmm. How about Yurio? Since he looks so much like him,” Yuuri suggested with a grin. “He would hate it, if he knew.”

Phichit roared with laughter. “I love it. Yurio. He'd get so salty. It's perfect.” He grinned down at his screen before scoffing. “Ugh. Idiots everywhere. I'm headed to my room to work. Don't stay up too late, Yuuri. I really think you should try to go to class tomorrow. Most of this has blown over by now. I really doubt anyone is going to bring the Eros thing up again.”

Yuuri made a face. Tell that to the lingering doubts in the back of his mind. Believing that was easier said than done. But today hadn't been so bad, all things considered. Maybe tomorrow would be manageable as well. “Yeah… You're right,” he said eventually. “I'll try.”

“Good.” Phichit smiled. “Night, Yuuri.”

“Goodnight,” Yuuri said, watching Phichit gather up his laptop and charger and head for his room. Yuuri sat back on the couch. At least he didn't have homework due tomorrow, as far as he knew. He turned on his console and tried to distract himself with an rpg. It still seemed like hours later when another message finally cropped up on his phone. He paused the game, set the controller down, and grabbed his phone. 

**Received:** I'm free to talk! (´♡`)

**Received:** Yuri is quite the handful sometimes 

**Sent:** did something happen?

**Received:** He said his meal was fit for the gods because it was all burnt offerings, threw a napkin at the waiter, and demanded something that wasn't quote ‘burnt to shit’. 

**Sent:** was it?

**Received:** I think it was supposed to look like that. I mean, isn't that what blackened chicken is? 

Yuuri couldn't help but laugh. It seemed so outrageous. 

**Sent** : Was yours burnt too?

**Received:** nope (^_-) my shrimp pasta was perfect  <3 what did you have?

**Sent:** takeout (ｰ ｰ;) Phichit was supposed to cook tonight but he forgot

**Sent:** he's been so busy though that I can't be upset

**Received:** you haven't been having issues, have you?

**Sent:** No, it's been about the same. Phichit says that they haven't given up yet, but they haven't gotten anything on me yet. 

Yuuri wrapped his arms around himself. It was terrifying to think of. He just had to trust Phichit. 

**Received:** I posted a tweet. Would you like me to mention it before or after my show as well? I can

**Sent:** I’ll ask Phichit what he thinks. He would know better

Yuuri stared at the phone. He would start small, he decided, with just a few tentative questions to feel the situation out. His thumbs hovered lightly over the keyboard. What to say? Where to start? 

**Sent:** Are you excited for your stream tomorrow? 

He winced as soon as he hit the send button. He didn't really want to talk about the beta Victor would be having sex with tomorrow. The reply took a few minutes to show up, and Yuuri had a thousand thoughts about whether Victor was just busy or purposely not responding before it popped up on his phone. 

**Received:** Yeah! Cao Bin is an old friend. He helped me get started, so being on his farewell show is pretty special. 

**Received:** will you be watching? (^_−) 

Yuuri felt a wave of guilt for being so irrationally jealous. He closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, trying to set aside a bit of pettiness that flared up. 

**Sent:** I wouldn't miss it 

**Received:** Good <3 

**Received:** It won't be as amazing as our show, of course, but I hope I can do him some justice ;) 

Yuuri smiled. It set his heart happily fluttering. Satisfying Victor was Yuuri’s goal, bringing that pretty, heart-shaped smile to the surface as much as he could. His own feelings were secondary compared to that. He closed his eyes. He had to bite the bullet now, while he was still feeling a little more sure of himself. 

**Sent:** I was wondering 

**Sent:** If we did go out…

He hesitated, working his lower lip to a pulp between his teeth. 

**Sent:** I've never done long distance before

**Sent:** How does something like that work? 

Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to say he'd never been in any committed relationship before, but this was a tame enough way to phrase the question. 

A fear lodged in his heart before he could stop it. What if Victor only liked him for the sex? The problem wasn't that Eros’s primary redeeming quality was that he could take Victor’s cock all the way, ride him until Victor was flushing to his chest and moaning the way Yuuri had only ever seen him when he was especially turned on during his shows. 

The problem was that, if this was for sex, how could he satisfy Victor from afar? Didn’t a relationship usually mean kissing and holding hands? What about Victor’s shows? And Yuuri’s shows as well, to that extent. Victor seemed to be a naturally touchy person. It didn't quite add up. 

It was an excruciating wait. He felt like he couldn't breathe until the message finally appeared.

**Received:** Erossss!!! <3333 

**Received:** We could call, skype, text, send videos, anything. As much as you want. It sounds hard, but I promise it's possible! I have all kinds of ideas. 

It would be less pressure if that was how things played out, to be sure. It would mean easing into the idea of it. They wouldn't be near each other constantly, as it had been during the week in LA, and the distance settled his nerves in small ways. But Yuuri wondered about Victor. 

**Sent:** I have classes for another month…

**Sent:** Would you really be okay with doing this for so long before I could visit again? 

**Received:** A month is a long time, but for you, I can wait <3 It will make holding you so much more special when we finally meet again!

**Received:** Please, my beautiful Eros, can I be your boyfriend? 

Yuuri was a madman. This was a terrible idea, really, and he knew that. This was impulsive and stupid and went against everything Yuuri stood for. This was Eros. But then, wasn't that exactly who Victor wanted? 

The fire in his stomach flared up, hot and possessive, and Yuuri wanted so badly he could scream. The fear was nothing compared to his desires. This had gone on long enough. The emptiness after LA was too much. 

Aria was more than Yuuri had ever expected, and he wanted it all. 

**Sent:** okay 

He flushed red as he sent the message. 

**Received:** !!!!! Eros you make me so happy!!! Can I call? 

Yuuri glanced down at the burner phone. He closed his eyes and sent an affirmative, and it started to ring. His hands were shaking as he answered. 

“H-hello?” 

“Eros!” Victor blurted. Yuuri could almost hear the heart-shaped smile in the breathlessness. “You mean it?”

The words almost refused to come out. “... yes, I… I mean it.”

Victor quieted. “You don't sound sure.”

“No, no!” Yuuri said quickly. “I just…” His heart wouldn't stop racing. “I don't know what I'm doing,” he confessed. “This is all so new to me. I don't think I've ever done anything like this before.”

“Does it make you feel better if I say I haven't either?” Victor said quickly. “I’ve never done long distance before either. But it's a little exciting, isn't it? We can find out together!” 

“Yes,” Yuuri breathed, unable to fully believe himself. “I- I guess we can,” he managed. “I… wow.” 

“Wow,” Victor agreed. They both fell silent. 

Dating the legendary Aria. Even long distance, the thought of Victor being so excited to try this was more than a little heady. It was unbelievable, wholly and completely. And even though Yuuri knew this wouldn't last, knew that Victor fell in and out of relationships all the time, the thought that for a short time, he would be with Yuuri, no, with Eros, was absolutely astounding. 

And if it lasted the month, somehow, if it didn't crash and burn before then, Yuuri could save up the money to fly out there once more and see him again, see that beautiful smile and feel that deliciously thick cock inside him. 

Victor laughed softly, a nervous sort of thing that seemed tremulous even to Yuuri. “Eros, will you tell me one thing?”

A sudden surge of anxiety ripped through him. “Uhh,” Yuuri managed. 

“I'm not pushing you too far too fast, am I? I said I'd give you space. It isn't fair of me to have just asked you outright when I promised I'd let you have time to think.”

Yuuri almost wanted to laugh at the incredulity of it all. “I think… if you hadn't…” he murmured. “I might not have had the courage to say it myself.” 

It was true that Victor pushed him, but not in the way Phichit did. It was more the kind of push that came from within, something in the way Victor left things open and available, an offered hand outstretched between them, meeting him halfway, allowing Yuuri the choice to reach out and take it if he wanted, with gentle reassurance all the while to give him the strength he needed. 

Even when Yuuri reached out with tentative fingers, settling the tips featherlight on Victor’s palm, it was still a step forward. He could almost hear the soft catch of Victor’s breath, the way a smile sounded as it spread. It was like Victor clasping their hands together. It made his chest seem to clench and suddenly soar. 

“You meet me where I am,” Yuuri said softly. 

“I'll meet you anywhere, my beautiful Eros,” Victor said, “if it means I get to see you smile for me again.”

“Skype me,” Yuuri blurted, before he could overthink it. “Uh, tomorrow, I mean. Before your show. I… I want to see you. I mean, only if you want to, that is, you don't have to if you don't have time-”

“Nothing would make me happier,” Victor said. “My show starts at 7. My time, I mean. I don't know what that is for you. How about an hour before?”

“Yes, of course,” Yuuri said, hardly breathing. “Um. I… I can do that.” Boyfriends. He was Victor’s boyfriend. He felt a wave of nausea. He didn't know what to do. What was he supposed to do? He'd never done this before. What did people in movies do? He blinked. “If we’re… boyfriends now…” He stumbled over the word, hardly able to believe that he could say it at all. He glanced sideways at his own cellphone sitting in his lap. He picked it up. 

He was scared. He was so scared. 

But what was there to lose? Victor had more than proved himself, time and time again. Yuuri’s name was on their contract, but Victor hadn’t looked, simply because Yuuri had requested it. He could have left things alone and let people find Eros and reveal him, and his city would have been found. 

What was an area code compared to that? 

He sputtered out a string of numbers in a sort of word-vomit before he could fully consider every last result of the action and send himself spiraling into a pattern of overthinking it. Victor chuckled, confused. “What was that?”

“Ahh, my… my phone number,” Yuuri said. “My actual phone number. I have to give this phone back to Phichit eventually, but…”

“Eros!” Victor gasped, sounding elated. “Really?”

“Y-yeah,” Yuuri said. He repeated the number, a bit slower, and a text message appeared on his phone. Yuuri recognized the number. But even if he hadn’t, the message made it clear enough. He saved the contact info into his phone. 

“Did you get it?” Victor asked eagerly. 

Yuuri smiled, heart fluttering. 

**Victor <3:** \\(´♡`)/ Hello my beautiful boyfriend!

“I think you're more beautiful,” Yuuri confided. 

Victor made a delighted sound. “How often can I text you?” he asked. 

Yuuri furrowed his brows, confused. “As much as you like? I can't guarantee I'll text back immediately, especially if I'm in class, but… I don't know why you can't text.”

“Ah… sure. Right,” Victor said hastily. “If I get annoying though, please let me know.”

As if. If anything, Yuuri worried about being the annoying one. He scoffed quietly. “Only if you do the same.”

“You will never annoy me, solnyshko,” Victor assured him. 

He said that now. Either way, Yuuri took a deep breath and smiled to himself. For now, for this moment, for as long as it lasted, this was how things were going to be. 

It was a funny feeling. On one hand, nothing felt different at all. Phichit was still sitting in his room, his favorite mechanical keyboard clattering noisily. Vicchan had yet to stir in Yuuri’s lap. He could still hear the soft music of the rpg game he'd been playing before Victor texted. 

And yet the air felt subtly different. It was an awareness that someone somewhere called Yuuri  _ boyfriend _ , which was simultaneously terrifying and thrilling and Yuuri almost couldn't breathe considering that person was  _ Victor _ , the great legend Aria. 

At least, if he was going to be in a relationship, he wasn't doing it by half measures. If his first boyfriend was going to ruin him for anyone who came after, at least it could be someone Yuuri idolized. If this was how things would play out, Yuuri could be happy with this. And who knew? Maybe this was the best thing for him. A fun, sexy, beautiful boyfriend was something anyone would be envious of. 

Even better than that, though, was knowing that Eros was the one Victor wanted. Eros was the one Victor was dating. Not his other costars. Not that Cao Bin he'd be fucking tomorrow. 

Yuuri giggled in spite of himself. 

“Something funny?” Victor asked. 

Yuuri fell back into the couch, laying across it with one arm thrown over the back. He couldn’t stop smiling. “Nothing. Just… we’re dating,” he said breathlessly. 

“We are,” Victor hummed. The omega part of Yuuri curled up happily, delighted by how pleased Victor sounded. “So, what are you doing right now?” 

“Playing a game,” Yuuri said. The menu screen was still waiting for Yuuri to continue playing. He slid the phone onto his shoulder, pinning it to his ear, and he grabbed the controller. If they were talking on the phone, Yuuri could at least turn in a few quest objectives. It wasn't like texting, which demanded use of his thumbs. The familiar tones signaled the game resuming. “What about you?”

“Listening to your beautiful voice,” Victor purred. 

Yuuri flushed. “And what if you weren't talking to me? What would you be doing? Something with Chris?”

Victor sighed. “Probably not. I imagine I'd read or something. I'm afraid I'm a bit boring with my free time.”

Yuuri thought back to the apartment. While it was true that the living room had floor to ceiling shelving along one wall, Yuuri had simply assumed that the books were a decoration that had come with the house. He'd seen fake books at furniture stores before.

Not to say that Victor didn't seem like the kind of person who read. It was just that it was decidedly unglamourous compared to the image he had in his mind of Aria, the kind of person living an exciting lifestyle that entailed nonstop parties and thrills. But, save for the DJBek party that Saturday, it was like Victor hadn't done much exciting at all. 

Thinking back, Victor had spent most of his precious time in his apartment. A lot of it had been for his pre-rut, of course, but even then, when they weren't napping or making out, they had been curled together watching a movie, or Victor had flipped through a magazine while Yuuri had played a game on his phone. 

If this was Yuuri’s first glimpse into Victor as a boyfriend, he was going to try to do this right. 

“That doesn’t sound boring to me. What sorts of books do you like?” Yuuri asked tentatively. 

“Depends on the day, really,” Victor said. “Sometimes I love the classics. Other times I like to read newer books. I’m reading a crime novel right now, but it isn’t very good.” 

“Then why are you reading it?” Yuuri laughed. 

“Because I heard the next book is much better!” Victor said. “And the first one isn't terrible.”

“Couldn't you read a summary online?” Yuuri asked, grinning as he dropped off another quest to an npc. 12 magical ferns in exchange for a map to an enchanted sword. How generic. The npc thanked him. 

“I could, but I'm almost finished with it so I might as well,” Victor said. “And I hate skipping around. I always forget things if I jump around in the story.”

“So then-” Yuuri yelped as he was suddenly ambushed in-game. 

“What? What's wrong?” Victor said.

“Ack, enemies attacking- higher level- hold on,” Yuuri sputtered, trying to dodge the attacks before his health bar was fully depleted. He healed himself and went on the offensive. After a brief moment of furious jabbing at the controller, eventually he let out a deep breath. “Sorry. I should have paused. So if you don't like the crime book, what was the last book you read that you did like?”

“That's easy,” Victor said, sounding amused, and he began to explain the plot of some historical romance which had captured his attention. 

The pressure on Yuuri’s chest meant he never fully forgot the change between them, but he also found himself falling into Victor’s words the same way he had back in LA. Talking over the phone didn't diminish the conversation much. If anything, Yuuri found himself imagining Victor’s expressions and wondering what they really were.

Yuuri shut his game down eventually and fell back out the couch, staring at the ceiling with a dopey grin as he and Victor just talked about books, sometimes lapsing into comfortable silences where Yuuri contemplated just how strange this all felt. He felt like he was soaring. Victor made him feel this way. No, his  _ boyfriend  _ made him feel this way.  

It was bliss.

* * *

He made his way to his classes in a bit of a daze.

**Victor <3:** Good morning beautiful <3

The message had been waiting for him when he woke up. He fired back a good morning of his own. If this was all there was to long distance, he could manage that. It didn't seem so hard. 

He settled into his seat, smiling still at his phone. 

He felt a wash of panic, but the group of alphas and betas who had been discussing Eros on Monday didn't look twice at him, and they didn't talk about anything more than some sports game they had watched the previous night. The edge slowly faded with every text Victor sent. Yuuri paid half attention to his class, jotting down a few notes, and smiling sideways at his phone every time another silly kaomoji appeared. 

Texting Victor on his own phone was better than texting on the burner phone. Every time Victor’s name flashed on the screen, it sent a wave of satisfaction through him. He was on Victor’s mind. It made his omega side want to purr. It feared the thought of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ that could happen. 

He’d left the burner on the kitchen table last night for Phichit and kept his own phone close. Phichit no doubt had seen the messages they had sent, but Yuuri didn't care. He felt lighter than air. He felt accepted, if only for a short while. 

In the studio, he danced like he never had before, his steps quick, his jumps higher, his performance more evocative. It felt right. He sputtered and flushed when he noticed a few of his fellow students staring at him, their mouths open. 

“S-sorry, sorry, I'll move out of your way,” he said quickly.  But for a time, he had flown. 

After dancing, he showered. A familiar, horny buzz had been running under his skin like a low voltage current, pestering him endlessly these last few days. Without his show on Wednesday, he was feeling a need that was getting worse by the hour. 

He stroked his hand over himself a few times, a little curious. He'd had sex with Victor outside of his heat, and he'd gotten off so easily back then, cumming so fantastically hard under Victor’s heavy gaze. Victor’s words, Victor’s touch, all of it was effortlessly erotic to its core 

He thought of the way it felt to have Victor touching him, how Victor’s mouth felt around his cock when the plug was holding Victor’s cum inside him. His breath caught. 

_ Oh _ . 

Maybe this would work. Phichit wasn't around, but Yuuri was feeling desperate for release. One orgasm now, if he could pull this off, and then another one during the show, and he'd be feeling a little better. A little lighter. 

He curled his fingers a little tighter around his cock, sighing into the wall of his shower as he stroked himself. He rubbed his thumb over his slit. His breath came in a shaky huff. “Aaah,” he hissed. He jerked himself off leisurely, bringing his hand around to his back. 

During his shows, he had often pictured what it would be like to have sex with Victor. Now he knew. Now Victor was his  _ boyfriend _ , and they'd been intimate, and Yuuri knew how it felt to be bent double and fucked until he cried out for Victor. How it felt to have those hands sliding over his skin. 

He dropped his fingers into the cleft of his ass. The friction caught, until he touched the tips of his fingers against his rim and gasped, finding slickness just within. He pressed a little against himself, eyes fluttering, the hot water beating against his skin. He gathered a bit of the slick over his fingers. Victor would circle his rim once, twice, and then slowly push his fingers in, wouldn't he? 

Victor was so much more affectionate than Yuuri anticipated, so much more attentive. He had slid his fingers inside so gently, giving Yuuri more than enough time to settle into the stretch of it, waiting until Yuuri was squirming and begging for more. 

Yuuri slipped a finger inside himself, pressing his index finger flat against his entrance and slowly pushing in, feeling the slight stretch. He groaned low. “Ahh, Victor,” he breathed, trying the words out. 

It felt a little strange to say the words in the silence of the shower, alone. Different from calling out where he knew Victor could hear. It made him more conscious of the fact that Victor wasn't here. Feeling a rush of irritation at himself, he jabbed a second finger in beside the first, hissing a little in surprise. He closed his eyes, pretending. When they had showered together back in LA, how had the water looked, beading up on his skin? How did Victor's hair feel under Yuuri’s fingers when it was sudsy with Victor’s expensive shampoo?

He thought of the way Victor’s eyes had closed when Yuuri raked his fingers over the scalp, and the soft noises the alpha had made when Yuuri accidentally brushed his neck. Victor hadn't even seemed aware of them. But Yuuri remembered them now, palming his cock with a whimpering groan, scissoring his fingers inside himself. The stretch felt delicious, pulling him open, but not enough. Not nearly enough. He worked himself open a little more. 

Three fingers, then four. He fucked himself open slowly, picturing Victor pulling him down onto his waiting cock and pumping up into him, thrusting leisurely and slow. His hand worked over his cock at a feverish pace, chasing his orgasm. 

It burned, hot and bright and close, but just out of reach. He pictured Victor grunting out his name.  _ Eros, Eros.  _ Yuuri loved it, the soft purr of his voice, lilting sweetly with just a hint of an accent. His growl. The sounds the alpha made when Yuuri whimpered beneath him, delirious with pleasure, aching for more, more, more. 

Yuuri leaned hard against the shower wall, picturing the tiled walls of Victor’s bathroom. He imagined his legs spread, a knee braced on the ledge to keep his ass presented to his alpha, his alpha-

Yuuri groaned. It was just out of reach. This was taking too long. His cock was starting to feel like he'd rubbed sandpaper over it a few times, and the water was chilly on his skin. The hot water had run out. Release was too far away at the moment. 

He growled under his breath. Fuck. Empty, desperate, and hungry for release, and it was just too far away for him to reach alone. His eyes landed on the plug he'd cleaned a week ago. It was still sitting on the counter. Phichit had been making jokes about it, but Yuuri just kept forgetting to put it away. 

He bit his lip. No. No, bad idea. 

His hand scrabbled out for it, and he bent over, sliding the plug inside him with a low groan. The stretch was so different from fingers, unlike Victor’s cock as well, but the stretch was so good. He'd never again be able to forget how this plug was used. He shut off the water and grabbed for a towel. 

Apparently Yuuri was just full of terribly wonderful ideas lately. He worked his lower lip between his teeth as he walked back to his room, holding back the soft hum under his breath at the feeling of the plug inside him. 

Victor wanted him to call at 6 his time, which was 9 Yuuri’s time. After his shower, he changed into something Eros and slicked back his hair, determined to look nice for the first Skype call they'd have between themselves as a couple. It was so strange to think. 

It was Yuuri’s turn again to fix dinner. He hummed to himself as he worked, eventually turning some music on, setting it to a Spotify playlist full of old love songs. He swayed in place, feeling the gentle shift inside him like a fond reminder. 

“Wow, someone's in a good mood,” Phichit teased, grinning as he stepped into the kitchen. 

Yuuri smiled obliquely. “I don't know what you're talking about.” His little stereo system crooned sweet words of passion. Phichit looked positively impish. He slid the burner phone on the counter with a projected casual air, slyly smirking. 

“What did I tell you? Man is head over heels for you,” Phichit said. “And I just knew you felt the same. Doing a show tonight?”

“Skyping Victor before his,” Yuuri said. “I wanted to look nice.”

Phichit nodded. He nabbed a spoon from the drawer and dipped it into the sauce concoction Yuuri was making on the stove. Yuuri tried to swat him away, but was too slow. Phichit slurped noisily. 

“Mmm, damn, that's good,” Phichit said. “So you’re really watching his show tonight? Even though he's got a guest on? That doesn't bother you?”

Yuuri glanced at the stove. He hadn't thought that much about it. He'd sort of been avoiding the idea. “... no.”

“You hesitated,” Phichit said. 

“It's fine,” Yuuri said quickly. “Really, it is. Cao Bin is just one of Victor’s friends. It… it isn't like it means anything. And we’re so new, I just…” 

“Yuuri, I doubt he'd be upset if you didn't want to watch him having sex with someone else after deciding to go out with you. I mean, have you guys talked at all about this?”

“Really, Phichit, it's fine,” Yuuri said icily. “I'm watching his show tonight, the same way I've watched it for years. Just because we’re going out now doesn't mean anything is going to change.”

Phichit nodded. “Well, if you're sure.”

Homework and dinner were dealt with easily enough. Yuuri anxiously played games on his computer until a few minutes before, and then he stared at his Skype page, willing his nerves away and doing a poor job of it. 

He'd signed into the Eros account that already had Victor saved as a friend. His fingers drummed against the desk. The anticipation was killing him. He couldn't even hardly breathe until, at last, the symbol changed to indicate that Victor had signed on. He held his breath and clicked. 

Victor answered the call quickly. He looked beautiful. Yuuri lost his words in the face of Victor’s stunning smile. 

“Hi there, handsome,” Victor said. The tension snapped, leaving Yuuri flushed. 

“Hi, Victor. You look amazing.” And he did. His hair was perfectly styled, his skin seemingly glowing. 

Victor winked. “It's Aria for now.” He tilted the screen, showing a set already made up for filming. A cluster of betas were carrying out the usual preshow rituals. 

“I'm so sorry,” Yuuri gasped. 

Victor laughed. “Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal either way. Hey, Eros, meet Cao Bin.” He walked over to a Chinese man in his mid thirties, tipping the phone screen so that he could see Yuuri. The man dipped his head. 

“You must be Eros. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, as well,” Yuuri said as politely as he could. He felt a sudden wave of burning jealousy rise up inside him, dark and possessive, and he struggled to bite it back, more than a little shocked with himself. 

He braced his fingers on his laptop, taking it with him back to his bed. He almost gasped at the shifting of the plug inside him. He hid it under a cough. Victor giggled indulgently. “Getting cozy already?”

“Mmm,” Yuuri hummed. He gave an Eros smirk to stifle the urge to glare at Cao Bin. He was being ridiculous right now and he knew it. It was petty and childish and so far out of line. “How’s your day been?”

“Good! Great! How was yours?” Victor chirped back. 

“It felt good. I felt… really light today when I was dancing. Like everything was easier. I can't quite explain it…” Yuuri murmured. 

Victor cooed happily. “I've been feeling the same! It must be fate! I loved your tweet this morning, by the way. Was that Phichit?”

“What tweet?” Yuuri asked, blinking. 

Victor frowned. “You didn't know?” When Yuuri shook his head, Victor made an ‘o’ with this lips. He smiled. “Well, I retweeted it.”

Yuuri grabbed his phone and pulled up Twitter. He pulled up Aria’s, finding two relevant tweets on the page easily enough. 

Aria’s was a selfie from their week together that Yuuri didn't remember taking. Maybe it was a vague memory from his preheat, but it didn't seem particularly clear. It was from when they had attempted to watch movies and had ended up with their legs tangled, their arms looped around one another, Yuuri’s head tucked against Victor’s chest. 

Aria was sleepily grinning at the camera, chin resting on Eros’s hair and his fingers combing it back, and Eros was very much out of it. His glasses were pulled off, probably set aside, and he was squinting at the camera. 

Yuuri felt his cheeks grow warm in embarrassment. He looked terrible. His face in the picture was a little flushed, his eyes were dark, and he peered up through his lashes. His fingers were curled possessively into Victor’s shirt. 

Surprisingly enough, it had a lot of likes. 

To be fair, Victor looked cute smiling the way he did. It just wasn't fair how effortlessly handsome Victor was, even when he was half-asleep and boiling with the hormones of his rut closing in. Yuuri could see that people had replied to it, but he didn't click to see what they had said. He scrolled to where Victor had retweeted Phichit’s post as Eros. 

**InnocentEros** Make sure to catch my sexy @AlphaAria on his show today! #cantwait #toobeautifulforwords 

Yuuri must have been blushing, because Victor hummed, pleased. “Phichit is right,” Yuuri said. “You are too beautiful for words.”

“Ah, my boyfriend is too sweet!” Victor chirped. “Oh, hey, Cao, did you hear the news? Eros and I are dating!”

“Is that right?” Cao Bin said. “Congrats, Aria. You two seem happy. How long have you been going out?”

“21 hours and… 12 minutes!” Victor said, glancing at the time. Cao Bin looked confused. 

“So… your rut…?” Cao Bin trailed off. “Well. I could have sworn you two were a thing before.” He shrugged. 

Yuuri watched him with a measured expression. “What do you mean?”

“I caught some of the show. Just a bit of personal curiosity, I'll admit. But you two seemed quite close. And with all the discourse online at the moment, I simply assumed-”

“Discourse?” Yuuri said. 

Victor made a vague gesture. “A few of our fans are being a bit ridiculous at the moment. Some like the idea of us together, while a couple others are… hmm, against it, I suppose? It's all mindless tedium, like usual, it will die down soon. They've been at it since the extravaganza aired, so I can't say it's unexpected that it flared up again today.”

“When you say against it, do you mean my fans, or yours?” Yuuri asked, blinking. 

Victor shrugged. “A handful of both I'd say.” He smiled like the cat with the cream. “But a much larger number call us Aros. They already have a couple name for us, isn't it cute?”

Yuuri’s jaw dropped. “Wait, so  _ that's  _ what Aros is?” The crazy fans weren't just babbling nonsense? They were, for some reason that escaped Yuuri, enjoying the idea of Yuuri and Victor together enough to come up with a portmanteau of their names?

“Yep! There's fan pages,” Victor said happily. “I can send you links if you'd like!”

“No, no, that's okay,” Yuuri wheezed. He didn't understand. 

“You look surprised,” Victor observed. 

Surprised didn't begin to cover it. “A bit,” he said weakly. “I'm sorry, I just… I’m not used to this. I'm still getting used to the idea that you would want to go out with me. It seems… a bit weird for strangers to agree.”

“You say that like I'd have any reason in the world  _ not _ to want to go out with you, Eros,” Victor said. “But even so.” Victor smiled so sweetly at the camera, his expression achingly soft. It made Yuuri’s heart do silly flips in his chest, his pulse racing. “I don't care what they think. Not one bit.”

The possibility occurred to him that Victor might have been just as in love with the idea of Eros as Yuuri was with Aria. He felt a surge of panic rush through him, unbidden, before he could stop it. It wasn't love, too soon to call it that, especially when this was so new and different for both of them. But there was a pull. It was vague and indescribable and Victor must have felt it to. He had to, or he never would have tried to take Eros out on a date in the first place. 

Why he would still want to try after Eros fucked that up was a mystery, of course, why he would put up with the fringe effects of Yuuri’s anxieties influencing Eros. But if the party hadn't scared him away, if their discussion of kinks had managed to go relatively without a problem…

Maybe this could at least last through the end of semester. Yuuri would have to save up a bit of cash to fly to LA of course, but he would make the same money thereafter wherever he was. Of course, that was dependent on whether or not Phichit wanted to tag along. Yuuri really couldn't imagine doing his show without Phichit there, but asking Phichit to give up his summer like that...

Yuuri clenched his fist and tried to muffle the wave of panic. No, best not to think about that now. There was still a full month until he had to worry about that. He had final exams first and a thousand other things to devote his attention to. 

He chatted with Victor and Cao Bin until it was almost time for the show. Every little motion reminded him of feeling a little more full than usual. God, he was horny right now, and he wanted to say something. But he hesitated around Cao Bin. He didn't trust himself. 

Victor looked regretful when it came time to sign off. “Sorry Eros, but the show’s about to start.” Behind him, Cao Bin was straightening out his button-up shirt.

“It was nice talking to you,” Cao Bin said pleasantly, offering a gentle smile. “You and Aria seem really happy together.”

“Thank you, it was nice talking to you too,” Yuuri managed. 

Cao Bin was a friendly guy. He really was, simultaneously pleasant to chat with and so painfully civil at all times that it made Yuuri feel so much worse that his mind instantly jumped to hating him. He didn't want to hate Cao Bin. 

But oh god, did he want to, at the same time. As Yuuri finished his goodbyes and switched over to the stream, a strange tightness in his throat clenched his airways, making it hard to breathe. His heart hammered. 

Victor, no, now he was Aria, looked beautiful within the frame of his show. 

Yuuri was signed in under his own username. He set the video to fullscreen. Everything was ready now as it ever would be. 

He watched introductions play out like something from a horror film. There was nothing outwardly wrong, nothing to explain the dark feeling curling in Yuuri’s gut. But the same way that the soft swell of a movie score could bring a sudden chill to his spine, so too did the sight of Aria and Cao Bin starting to strip one another. 

They kissed. 

The thought was coiling in the back of his mind like a vicious animal. It circled, agitated, digging claws of jealousy into his mind. Every soft moan, every touch, as the heavy petting over clothes became creeping touches beneath. 

Yuuri was breathing fast, and not from arousal. 

Objectively, he knew that this was a one time thing. That this meant nothing to Victor. It was work. 

Additionally, they'd barely been dating for 22 hours, as Victor so helpfully mentioned. It left him in a position he felt acutely. 

Yuuri couldn't say anything. 

He wasn't going to stop camming because he was dating Victor, so it wouldn't be fair to expect Victor to cancel his show either. Even if the thought of seeing them slowly fall back into the bed felt to Yuuri like the call of the apocalypse, the jealous omega part of him screaming and howling in blind rage. 

It was instincts and biology and nothing that mattered. Victor could do his job. Yuuri wasn't going to dare ask him to stop. 

And yet inside he was raging, his fingers white knuckling the laptop, the plastic casing protesting from how hard he was clenching his hands around it. His breath was catching. 22 hours and already his petty omega nature had decided it couldn't stand the thought of his alpha touching another, not this beta, not anyone. 

He jerked at the lid of the laptop. He was wrong. He couldn't do this. And yet, almost as soon as he’d closed the lid of the screen, he was opening it again, unable to miss seeing Victor push his cock into the slicked up thighs waiting for him. Yuuri was being torn apart, watching everything play out like a car accident where he couldn't stand to see this and yet couldn't avert his gaze. 

Victor’s hips tilted back, and that long, long cock slowly drew out, shining under the lights from the lubricant that painted his length. The whole of it seemed immense, even on camera. Yuuri sucked his lower lip between his teeth and bit down. The plug in his ass made him want to sob. 

Hips snapped, and Victor thrust back into the waiting thighs, a foreign moan echoing beneath the unnaturally loud, breathy gasps Yuuri was fixated on. Pleasure, his alpha’s pleasure, a biological imperative, rivaled with the heady feeling of jealousy and aimless hatred. Yuuri clutched his head. His scalp screamed where his hands ripped at his hair, pulling it too tight so strands of it came away tangled between his fingers. 

This wasn't arousing. This wasn’t pleasurable. Yuuri was being torn apart and yet Victor’s gentle moan had him aching between his legs, his cock hard and desperate for a touch, and he was so confused. Watching Victor, his Victor, take pleasure from another’s thighs, it all smelled of deep betrayal. 

And more surprising came the thought that he could do better.  _ He could do better _ . 

Cao Bin probably couldn't even take Victor's cock head inside him, let alone feel the thick swell of Victor’s hard shaft fucking him open like the most delirious dream come true. Cao Bin couldn't bottom out like Yuuri could. 

Victor’s cheeks weren't even pinked, his eyes barely dark under the lights. He wasn't satisfied yet. But Yuuri could do it, he thought wildly, if he was there. Yuuri could satisfy him. He’d be the only one to do it, the only one to take everything Victor had to give and still cry out for more. The plug was only the beginning of what Yuuri could take. Yuuri could feel all of him, thick and heavy and 

“Yes, yes, ahh, fuck yes,” Victor grunted, and it sounded authentic. It sounded so real. But it was fake. It had to be. Unless his alpha didn't really need his omega after all. Yuuri watched in horror as Victor’s eyes clouded with lust. 

Before, Victor had seemed almost like he was going through the motions, and a passing fantasy of him wanting Yuuri there crossed Yuuri’s mind before he could have stopped it. But even that was falling away. Victor was flushing now, pretty and pink across his cheeks, eyes going a little darker. 

Every snap of his hips seemed to have a little more enthusiasm behind them, a hunger. “Ahh, oh yes, just like that,” Victor sighed, head falling back, eyes closing.  

No no no, Yuuri wanted to scream. This was all wrong, for Victor to have sex with another, but also for Yuuri to be so incapable of letting Victor do his damned job. His head flared with pain. Distantly, Yuuri knew he was still wrenching at his hair, but he almost couldn't even feel that. Everything was out of body. 

“Aaah,” Victor gasped. “Ahh, yes, yes,  _ Eros.” _

Yuuri froze. 

Cao Bin gave no indication he'd heard, just kept throwing his head back, the “fuck, yes, ahh,” coming at the same regular beat, with every pulse of Victor’s cock inside his clenched legs, every jolt of his hand along his cock. But Yuuri was paralyzed. 

“Fuck, ahh, yes,” Victor breathed, face screwed up, eyes clenched tight. The hard line of his mouth had fallen open. 

Yuuri couldn't breathe. Had he imagined it? 

Victor’s body moved so beautifully, maintaining that same steady pace. Nothing was happening. Outside of the intercrural, there was nothing interesting to see. 

And yet Yuuri was set adrift. Out of body and suddenly the last tether was snapped. He slammed the laptop shut, eyes wide, breathing hard. 

“Fuck,” he whispered. 

* * *

It might have been minutes or hours. Yuuri was motionless on his bed, staring at his ceiling with a vacant expression and his thoughts whirling at a thousand miles per hour. 

The chirp of his phone seemed so far away. He was feeling something, dark and light and paradoxically confusing to its core, something he couldn't even form into a coherent thought, let alone shape into words. The phone chirped again. It sounded quieter. More distant. Another tone followed. Then another. 

He didn't even know what was going on. The thoughts were spinning too wildly through his mind, conflicting to their core. 

His fingers curled into the bedsheets, head falling back. Everything had a distant, dreamlike quality to it, a softness that felt unreal. He closed his eyes and waited for the maddening spinning thoughts to end. 

When he opened them once more, it was after his breath came a little steadier, his pulse a little more even, his racing thoughts beginning to slow by degrees and giving way to exhaustion. He put his glasses on, vision sharpening. His mind felt blank and his mouth was dry as he looked around the room. 

His light was still on, just as he had left it. It felt too bright now. His eyes were gross and crusty. When he rubbed them, his fingers came away smudged with smears of sparkly black kohl. He rose like a zombie, shambling to his bathroom in a sleepy daze. Everything had a slightly detached nature to it. 

His hair was half slicked back in the mirror, disheveled and in every direction, some still held back by gel, some falling messily in his face. He looked like a panda. His eyes were ringed by thick smears of black that streaked down his cheeks. He cleaned the mess away slowly until his skin was clean and a little red from the scrubbing. 

Feeling more than a little disgusted with himself, he yanked his pants down, feeling between his legs for the base of the plug. It was a terrible idea to begin with. All it had done was make him long for Victor to replace it with something a little more sizable. He pulled it out with a gasp, feeling a little empty at the loss. He threw it in the sink with a glare 

He padded back to his room wondering after the time. His phone was discarded on the pillow. 

His throat seized up the moment he lit the screen up. 

It was almost midnight. Below the time, there were more messages than could fit on his lockscreen, ticking down in the reverse order he'd received them. He unlocked his phone to clear them before he could even see who they were from. 

The memory of the stream hit him in a sour rush, sending him to his bed in the fetal position for long moments until his breath evened out and the world felt real again. 

The guilt was bad enough, but even worse was the knowledge of one thing above all else: there was no way he could ever watch Victor's cam show like this again. Never with guests. Maybe his solo videos would be different, but this was absolutely, beyond all shadow of a doubt, not something Yuuri could handle. 

And he hated it. He hated being weak more than he hated anything else in the world, and the fact that he couldn’t enjoy the same old things he once had because of this weakness made him downright furious. 

He was pathetic. 

Jealous, petty, weak, and pathetic.

Even now, his hands were shaking as he stared at his phone, trying to will himself to read the texts that he'd been sent since the show started. The notification bubble wouldn't go away until he did. He knew that. He knew that whoever texted him probably needed to be answered. 

Because everything was so confusing. Because Yuuri had been overwhelmed and sick with some crashing cocktail of emotions that had left him feeling drained and a little lethargic on the bed. Because Yuuri had somehow managed to lose so much time to this. 

And it was all because of the stream. Because Yuuri was so intensely jealous and he had no right to be, and he couldn't even begin to understand why he felt like this. 

He gritted his teeth, and with a wave of distaste, jabbed his finger at the text messages. 

The most recent was from Phichit. There were several from him, spanning over a few hours. Yuuri felt sick reading over them. 

**Phichit Chulanont:** sooo how was the show ;)

**Phichit Chulanont:** U haven't left your room in a while. Everything okay?

**Phichit Chulanont:** I'm getting kinda worried about you

**Phichit Chulanont:** Yuuuuri don't make me come in there

**Phichit Chulanont:** Was it the show? Did something happen???

The last one had been sent not more than a few minutes ago. 

He sent back a quick ‘I'm fine’ because it was easier to lie through text while he sorted through this. 

The other messages were waiting for him. 

Victor. Guilt rose up higher. He closed his eyes. Who said he had to reply tonight? Who said he had to read them now? He could just as easily wait until morning, delay the inevitable for that much longer. 

Because he was weak. 

A surge of anger at himself drove him to tap the screen, wincing. 

**Victor <3: ** So what did you think, my sweet Eros? A good last show or what? 

**Victor <3: ** Cao Bin says we should grab dinner with him the next time you're in LA! What do you think?

**Victor <3: ** Hey are you there? 

**Victor <3: ** I guess it might be getting late there

**Victor <3: ** Goodnight Eros! Sweet dreams! 

Victor didn't have the slightest clue, the effect he had on Yuuri. He made Yuuri feel things he had never even imagined. 

That was  _ terrifying  _ to think about. 

Yuuri didn't get jealous. He had no right to be jealous, and it wasn't fair to Victor either. So why, then, was he so damned relieved to hear Victor moaning out his name when he was sliding between Cao Bin’s thighs? That was the question. 

He felt shellshocked. All that turmoil, and at the end of it, Victor was moaning out for Eros. He hated how gratified it left him, how utterly pleased. It was validation. He knew it. 

He stumbled to his feet, his knuckles rapping against Phichit’s door before he even fully realized where he was going. 

“Come in!” Phichit called. Yuuri opened the door and found Phichit on the floor with his laptop, his hamsters crawling over his shoulders and Netflix paused. Yuuri sank to his knees into Phichit’s immediate hug. He was sniffling.

“I can't,” he sobbed. “I can't, I can't watch it, I'm a terrible person.”

“Wh- Yuuri, no you're not! Why would you say that?” Phichit set his computer aside. 

“I- I got so jealous,” Yuuri managed, wiping away the dampness from his eyes, only for it to be quickly replaced with fresh tears. “I can't- Phichit, I  _ hate  _ Cao Bin but he's so nice, and I shouldn't- I know I can't-

“Shhh,” Phichit soothed, patting Yuuri’s head. He dropped a hamster onto Yuuri’s shoulder and Yuuri stroked it with the tip of his finger, trying to hold back the tears. “What's going on?”

“I thought- I thought I could handle it, I thought it would be nothing-” Yuuri said. “But I was wrong, I can't, and I feel so bad because that… that makes me a terrible person, right?”

“No, no, of course not!” Phichit soothed. 

“But Phichit, I just… I was so jealous. I couldn't stand seeing him with someone else. But that's his whole job. I can't- I shouldn't-” Yuuri broke down. 

“Talk to him,” Phichit said firmly, grabbing Yuuri’s face so he had no choice but to look Phichit in the eyes. “You need to talk to him about this.”

“But it's not- not fair,” Yuuri choked. He swiped his eyes again, trying to dry them as hastily as he could. He shook his head free of Phichit’s hands. “It's his job, Peach, I can't just- no reasonable person would expect-”

“Then don't watch them?” Phichit suggested. Yuuri must have looked stricken. He felt stricken. 

“But I- I've always watched them, and I… he's, we’re dating now. That's… Phichit, what do I do? I don't know what I'm doing, I'm ruining everything,” Yuuri sobbed. “I can't even do this for a single day. I should just end this now before I make it worse.”

“Yuuri, oh, come on, don't cry,” Phichit soothed. “You are not ruining everything, not by a long shot. Just… give it a little more time before you make any decisions, okay? Don't rush into things.”

“But I-” Yuuri croaked. He shut his mouth. 

“Obviously you like him.”

“Yes,” Yuuri said simply. There was no question about that. 

“And I know for a fact he likes you.”

Yuuri thought of the stream of text messages. The conversations. The smiles. For some reason, it was true. Victor did like him, at least for now. “I guess so.”

“So why would you end this after just one day? Without trying to figure this out?”

“He deserves better,” Yuuri murmured. 

“What's better than you?” Phichit said, trying to crack a smile. He jabbed Yuuri with his elbow. “Come on, you're smart, sexy, and good with your mouth. Triple threat.”

“And I'm a raging dumpster fire of a human being,” Yuuri ground out. 

“You are a little over anxious. You aren't a dumpster fire.” Yuuri eyed him through the tears. “I'm serious,” Phichit insisted. “Come on, dry your eyes. Do you need ice cream? I think we need ice cream. Come on, Arthur, Vicchan,” Phichit said, scooping up one of the hamsters and the poodle that had come snuffling into the room through the open door. “Ice cream.”

“I shouldn’t,” Yuuri said, patting his stomach. He remembered when Victor had patted it. Victor would probably prefer him with the shadows of abs that he had now. Eating ice cream would bring back the pudge. That wouldn't be good at all. He was attractive at this weight. Any more and he'd be less desirable, both to Victor and to his fans. 

Phichit shook his head. “Nope, I'm not hearing it. You worked out enough today. One bowl of sherbet isn't going to kill you.”

Yuuri flopped onto the floor. Phichit sighed and padded out of the room, returning a few minutes later with a pair of bowls and spoons.

He turned his movie back on and passed the bowl to Yuuri. “Come on, eat up. Good for the soul.”  Yuuri reluctantly took it, poking at the sherbet with his spoon. His eyes flickered toward the laptop. It was playing one of Phichit’s musicals.  “Please say you’ll talk to him about this,” Phichit said. Yuuri glared at the carpet. He didn't say anything. “Yuuri.”

“It doesn't matter. It isn't important at all. I'm not ending it like this, you're right. It's only been a day.”

Phichit looked at him for a long time, before at last, he sighed. “It's your life. But really, just focus on the things that make you happy, okay? That's all I'm gonna say.”

Yuuri stared at the slowly melting sherbet running down the edge of his spoon. His mouth pressed into a thin line as he glanced at his phone. “I'll try,” he murmured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to mention that the fun and jokes will come back. Yuuri just needs to resolve his shit first. I want nothing more than for the fun and jokes to come back asap so it'll be here once the current plot thread is resolved. 
> 
> Also, I don't plan to be gone for a month again. Things were... ah... hectic. It was a much-needed break, I assure you.


	13. Bringing Out The Big Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Victor's show, Yuuri has one of his own to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Quietly memes into oblivion*
> 
> Anyway, here's some trivia:  
> 1\. This chapter was beta'd by the amazing Merigold and Linisy (thank you so much both for providing moral support and for catching all my repeated words and mistakes)  
> 2\. You have Cleardye and Captain.britt to thank for the usernames and a couple of the posts in this chapter. Thanks for the help!  
> 3\. It was rewritten 6 times before I settled on this  
> 4\. There is enough fan art out there of hung!Victor that I no longer know what is and what isn't drawn for this fanfic, but I reblog it all the same at tumblr.com/blog/aurum-auri. Feel free to scream at me! I'll scream back if I have the time.  
> 5\. I have a twitter now! AurumAuri14 is what I go by (apparently AurumAuri was already taken??????? Curse you aurelio)
> 
> 6\. I love you all! Thanks for being so patient with me <3 And, as always, thank you for your kudos, reviews, and your support!!! It's more than I ever could have asked for. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Victor knew he'd fucked up the moment he woke up. 

To be fair, he realized he'd fucked up very shortly after his show last night. But Eros didn't text him back, and Victor had crawled into bed hoping he'd wake up to some kind of word on the situation. 

He hadn't. 

“My life is ruined,” he mumbled into his phone, rolling over in his bed. He had one arm draped perfectly dramatically over his face. 

Chris was always a sympathetic ear. “Yep. You messed up. Your twitter is a disaster zone right now. Cao Bin’s fans are unfollowing you en masse, and they're starting a few flame wars with Eros fans on the way out. I wonder how many are getting suspended over this…”

“That's not exactly helpful right now,” Victor said. 

“Well there’s nothing I can do,” Chris said. “This is worse than that time someone accused you of using some kind of penis enlargement system. You're the one moaning for cute omegas when you're supposed to be dicking your celebrity guest. My hands are tied, Victor. Eros isn't mad at you, is he?”

Victor groaned into his phone. “I don't even know! That's the worst part. He didn’t text me all night. I know it was unprofessional. I wasn't thinking. I couldn't help it.” He grimaced at the ceiling.

To say he hadn’t thought the show through beforehand would a lie. He had considered it, turning the matter over and over endlessly in his head until he was sick. But Victor was a professional. No matter what his personal feelings were, he would see this much through to the end. At least, that was what he had thought. 

The rest of it, however… 

He’d thought that he’d do the show the same way he’d always done, with rote professionalism and thoughts of pretty bodies writhing with lust. His partner’s satisfaction was often enough for him. It wasn’t the most satisfying, perhaps, but it got the job done efficiently and kept him from firing off too quickly. 

But then thoughts of Eros crept into his mind. Eros, his pretty Eroska, took the place of faceless nobodies stroking themselves off behind his eyelids. He saw Eros lost in pleasure, eyes rolling back in his head, his hand jerking over his cock and his legs splayed open, begging for more, more, more of Victor in wordless cries and breathy whispers. It had taken over his mind while he’d been slicking his cock between Cao Bin’s thighs, picturing how Eros’s thighs would feel around him. 

And then thoughts of that led to memories of Eros on a lazy Saturday morning moaning out for Aria, then parting those pretty pink lips and screaming Victor’s own name. It haunted his dreams in the worst kind of way. 

So to say he hadn’t been thinking when he’d moaned out for Eros instead of Cao Bin like he was supposed to? Perhaps not so much a stretch of the imagination. 

But then again, Eros had such a funny way of getting into Victor’s head. It was an animal kind of attraction. Eros just sang to him. The wet slapping of skin went from lewd to musical when it was Eros jerking himself off. The sight of his fingers plunging into his body was more than erotic, it was visionary, a work of art better suited to a museum than the shadowy depths of the internet. 

Eros was enticing, interesting, and fun. “I can't let this end before it barely even starts, Chris,” Victor said. Of that, he was absolutely certain. Too many relationships had slipped through his fingers in the past for a multitude of reasons. 

Victor heard a long sigh over the line. “I don't know what to tell you,” Chris said. “I don't like him jerking your feelings around like this. He should at least tell you what's wrong.”

“He's probably still asleep,” Victor said quickly. “That would be why he isn't answering. I think he's a couple of time zones away, from the cost of the tickets. I- would it be too clingy to send a good morning text again today after what happened? I don't know when he wakes up. I don't want him mad at me, Chris, I really don't!” Victor fretted. 

His hair was going to fall out at this rate. 

“Just text him. He didn't mind you texting him yesterday, did he?”

Yesterday they'd texted most of the morning, Victor smiling at his phone like a giddy schoolgirl while he set up the day’s show. And when he finally saw Eros in his webcam, saw the way his eyes lit up, the small flush in his cheeks, and the cute little way his eyes kept glancing at Cao Bin with something almost like envy in his gaze… Victor smiled. It had been more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen in his life. 

It should have been a sign, the way Victor’s heart had begun to race just from seeing Eros there. 

“I don't think so…” Victor said, trying to think back. He tapped his chin. “He told me he was happy. He said he just wasn’t used to it. But long distance relationships are a new thing for me, too. I just don't want to mess it up.” Victor groaned and rubbed his eyes. 

He'd been agonizing about this for days, but the day before last had been the brightest spot in his entire week. 

It had been torture, watching Eros walk away from him in that airport. Victor still remembered the anxious, terrified scent retreating, left as only a distant memory clinging to his clothes. He'd found himself on the cusp and lost, not knowing where they stood. 

But none of that mattered now. Nothing at all. Eros wanted him, supposedly. As long as Eros wasn't angry over Victor’s minor screw up last night, everything would go smoothly. 

“I'll just text him,” Victor decided. “And send a picture of Makkachin.” No one could stay mad at Makkachin’s cute face, Victor included, and Victor was widely regarded as the pettiest man alive by Yurio and various others. “I'm sure it'll work out. People moan the wrong name during sex all the time. Out of all the names to get wrong, there are worse names. Right…?”

Chris was quiet for a long time. After a long pause, he sighed. “Good luck, Victor,” he said. 

“Chris, don't be like that,” Victor said. “This is sure to work.” Victor was already whistling for Makkachin, who came bounding into the room with her tongue lolling out. “I'll talk to you later.”

“Let me know what loverboy says,” Chris said lightly. Victor hung up the phone and set to work snapping a picture of Makkachin looking her absolute cutest. He sent a good morning text, a picture of Makkachin, and a string of heart-mouthed kaomoji. 

Then, Victor sat back and waited for a reply. He didn't get one for a very long time. 

It was hours before his phone rang. 

He distracted himself with other things, pitching himself into work the same way he had all last week. Cao Bin’s retirement was just another reminder of his own imminent retirement someday. Every camgirl and camboy knew their lifestyle came with a built-in expiration date. You only lasted as long as people were interested in you. People were only interested when they stayed surprised.

Victor knew that better than anyone. It was why he made his shows so varied. It was why he branched out into other ventures on other sites, until he was drawing as many people in with his videos about Makkachin’s cute face and his own made-up skating routines as he once did with the novelty of his large penis and broad approach to kinks. He didn’t want to be a novelty. He didn’t want to be tired and uninspired. 

What he wanted… Well, it wasn’t this. 

Victor looked away from his computer, rubbing his eyes. He’d been trying to type notes for a new series he could run on one of his many shows, but they just didn’t form up coherently. Something about the plans felt lackluster and bland. It had been weeks since he’d even thought up the idea, and fleshing it out now made the idea feel less than appealing. 

It wasn't working. 

His phone rang, and his heart leapt into his throat at the sight of Eros smiling from his lock screen. 

“Hello!” he said brightly. “Eros, good morning! Oh, well, I suppose it’s afternoon, isn’t it?” Victor glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 2. “Almost afternoon. Anyway, how are you?”

“Fine, fine,” Eros said softly. He glanced away from the screen and then back again. “I uh… I wanted to congratulate you on another successful show. Sorry I… didn’t get a chance to text after the show. Something came up.”

“Is Vicchan alright?” Victor asked, suddenly worried.

“Yes, Vicchan’s fine,” Eros said quickly, looking a little surprised by the idea. He waved the thought away. “It wasn’t important. Anyway, I uh… I just wanted to ask what you thought of it.”

Victor bit his lip. Shit. “I thought it went fine,” he said, trying to keep his thoughts off his face. “You know, always trying to please my fans!” He laughed awkwardly. He couldn’t explain the sudden rush of guilt he felt. Eros didn’t sound upset, at least, and that was comfort enough for him. Victor took a quick breath and forced himself to smile. It made it easier to slip into that old, familiar skin. “What did you think?”

“It was good,” Eros said softly. “Your shows are always good.”

Victor felt his cheeks warm a little. Compliments always came hard and fast online, effusive in all his social media. But from Eros’s lips, the words sounded more genuine than a thousand praises any of the faceless masses could ever sing. He could almost feel his pulse speed up. 

“I’m glad you liked it… I’ll be sure to catch your show tonight,” Victor said quickly. “That is, if you’re doing one?”

“Oh- ah… sure?” It almost sounded like a question. “I… Yes. I’m doing a show tonight,” Eros said more firmly this time. Victor smiled. 

“Ah, wonderful! I can’t wait to see you. Can I make any requests?” he purred, dropping his voice a little lower.

Eros seemed to pick up on the change, because he grinned, fluttering his eyes and smirking into the little camera. “You know the drill,  _ Aria _ ,” he said, lilting on the name, teasing and light. “If you want something special, you’re going to have to pay like everyone else.”

Victor pretended to look offended. “You mean there’s no discount for boyfriends?” he gasped. 

Eros couldn’t stifle the surprised little giggle. He tried to put on a serious face, but it was a half-hearted attempt because Victor could see right through it to the genuine joy beneath it. “There might be. We can discuss your options.”

Victor smiled so warmly into the phone, Eros blushed and looked away. He had a cute little smile on his face. Everything was okay. Victor couldn’t remember ever feeling so relieved. 

“Did you know that the segments from last week’s event are already some of the most popular clips on my site?” Victor asked. 

Eros looked genuinely surprised. “You posted those?”

“Of course I did!” he said brightly. Eros acted like Victor would have any reason not to do so. “All the better for the world to see just how beautiful you are.” Eros shivered visibly.

“All the better for them to watch you,” Eros replied, lowering his eyelids until he was peering up through his lashes, sultry and beautiful. He was beautifully made up, dressed in a loose, flowy shirt that exposed a deep swath of chest and a tight band of black around his throat. His hair was slicked back, and his eyes glittered. He looked ready for a show.

They talked for a while longer, until Phichit said something in the background and Eros sputtered a fumbled excuse. “Sorry, Victor,” he said. “I would love to keep talking to you, but Phichit needs me to help with some things.” 

“It’s fine,” Victor said airily. “We can always talk later!” 

Eros smiled and nodded. “Sure. Bye, Victor!” 

“Bye, Eroska!” Victor said sweetly, catching him just before Eros hung up. Eros had just enough time to look baffled before the call cut off. 

Victor fell back into his armchair. Eros wasn’t mad. Eros was doing his show tonight. Things couldn’t possibly get any better. 

He glanced at his notes. Still shit. He deleted them and opened a fresh document. A dreamy little smile crossed his lips as he started to type. The words came easily, easier than they had in weeks and months and years. In an outpouring, he found himself with page upon page of ideas.

Before he closed it, he made sure to save it “ArosShow.doc” with a little laugh of delight. Eros would return to LA before too long, Victor was certain of it, and if he didn’t, Victor could always go to him. He would have hopped on a plane already, chasing after Eros and seducing him as thoroughly as Eros had done to him, but that was impossible. 

He didn’t have an address. Technically, he didn’t have a name, either. 

Well, Eros would tell him these things in due time, surely. And even if he didn’t, Eros could always come visit. Victor spun around in his desk chair a few times.

Makkachin trotted up to him, placing her head on his lap, and Victor cooed happily at her. “Who’s my good girl? You are, yes you are. I know you miss Vicchan as much as I miss Eros. Don’t you worry, my sweet girl, he’s going to come back, I just know it. He’s my soulmate, Makka.”

* * *

Yuuri stared at his phone. The screen had long since gone dark, and Phichit was waiting for him to join him in his room so they could set things up for later tonight. Yuuri had been debating it all day. Phichit had told him there had been a small bit of discussion online about his name being moaned out by Victor, but it wasn’t much.

A little part of Yuuri was starting to wonder why they cared. His own fans often felt a little entitled over Eros, often expected things of him that he wasn’t willing to do, and when he didn’t do them, sometimes they complained. Victor was a distant goal to reach for, something to aspire to. So if he was so far above Yuuri, then his own fans might have had their own set of expectations of Victor.

Yuuri sincerely doubted those expectations included some “upstart omega” catching Victor’s attention, however briefly. It was a little worrying, what they thought of him. Their lofty expectations seemed unreachable, and all the same, he bristled at the thought of not measuring up. Which left him at a curious impasse of feelings that he hadn’t been able to sort out until Victor had asked him the very question he’d been wondering about most of the morning.

If he ran the show, he would have to confront all the people he’d been avoiding. But at the same time…

Yuuri had woken up that morning, half-erect and horny from a dream where Victor had pushed him down onto the bed and sat in his lap, kissing Yuuri senseless while Victor fingered himself open and sat himself on Yuuri’s cock, riding him until Yuuri snapped his eyes open and realized he’d been grinding his hips sleepily against the bed. 

It was getting a little ridiculous, and Yuuri knew it was just a function of his lack of release in recent days. He was used to long periods between jerking off, but this was starting to border on the absurd. He’d never needed it this badly before, and any normal human being would have taken matters into their own hands long ago, before it had gotten to this point. 

But then Victor had asked about the show, and it felt like there was only one correct answer. Victor wouldn’t stop a show because of something as silly as his own performance anxiety, if he had ever felt the slightest trace of nerves to begin with. Victor was unshakable and professional, and if Yuuri wanted to be near that level, he would have to step up his game. 

There was only one correct answer: yes, he would do the show. Yuuri would find his release, and maybe even put on a good enough show to hopefully remind Victor why he would ever consider waiting as long as he would have to just to fuck Yuuri again. 

And it definitely had nothing to do with Yuuri wanting to finally come for the first time since Sunday. 

Yuuri shoved his phone into his pocket and stood up. It was time to get to work, then. He was bringing out the big guns tonight. 

* * *

Eros laid back in the bed. 

Yuuri’s butterflies were swallowed under the burning desires of Eros’s flagrant need. He was feeling impulsive, more than a little rash, and completely, utterly desperate. He couldn't put a stop to this any more than he could have stopped a runaway train, even when every logical part of his brain was screaming at him to abandon ship and end this now. 

Phichit waved his hand in front of his face, scrunching his nose. “Yuuri, I hate to be that person, but can you tone back the pheromones? You're giving me a boner and it's making this a little awkward.” 

Yuuri flushed from embarrassment. Phichit was making last-minute adjustments on the camera position, and his pants looked uncomfortably tight even from here. “Sorry, Phichit,” Yuuri murmured. He clapped a hand over his scent glands and found them slick with oils that threw off the scent of desperate omega. 

“It’s alright,” Phichit said, waving him off. “We should find a way to sell that stuff. You know how much people would pay for something that smells that good? It’s devastatingly erotic. Just rub some pillows or lacy panties on your neck. We could make rent several times over, easy.”

“And how would we send it out?” Yuuri scoffed. “Even if it does smell good, the scent fades quickly.” Phichit shrugged. Yuuri eyed a little scrap of cloth on the edge of the bed. 

A week ago, Yuuri had wondered why Victor had helped him pack his things, and his scent had naturally laced everything Victor had touched.

But this morning, Yuuri had caught a whiff of something familiar and faint from his closet. He riffled through his suitcase, searching the side pockets until he found the source, and he found it soon enough. Stashed in a pocket was a silk scarf Victor must have thoroughly scented. The smell was faint, fading after a week’s time, but being put away had meant that the smell lingered on it. 

It wouldn’t last more than a few more days now that it was out of the suitcase. 

He’d buried his nose in it the moment he found it, inhaling deeply and feeling a rush somewhere far in his body, a bright burble of light that made him feel almost dizzy. It was a musky mix of florals and winter sharpness, something indescribably Victor. He’d felt turned on almost immediately, and he’d thrown it across the room in shock. 

It had given Yuuri a reason to call, a reason to answer Victor’s good morning message with something face to face. But he’d frozen up. He’d held the scarf in his fingers, just out of sight of the camera, still smelling Victor’s rich alpha scent like a waking dream. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask. He’d chickened out. 

But the temptation was too great. 

Yuuri couldn’t afford another incident like Sunday, and after missing Wednesday, another failed show would mean more lost regulars. He didn’t have the same raw, natural talent as other camworkers, the same innate sensuality. He had to work for it, and even if it always felt fumbling and awkward, it seemed like he used to do something right because people kept paying. So today he’d focus on the money earners. The things that made people come back time and time again. 

The show needed to be a success. He needed to look like he was enjoying it. And if that meant giving himself this little indulgence? Well, they were dating now, weren’t they? Yuuri didn’t deserve this gift, but it was too late to throw it out now, and Yuuri knew he couldn’t even if he wanted to. 

The scrap of cloth, thoroughly scented and fading fast, was Yuuri’s indulgence, and it was driving him crazy. 

Phichit finished the last-minute adjustments and signed on. Yuuri tugged at the choker around his neck. It sat an inch or so above the scent glands, framing them between the silvery black drape of fabric over his shoulders. The shirt was long, flowy and a little glittery, and it looked nice with the tight black leggings he’d thrown on purely for the way they hugged his thighs. The pair of spiky heels and silver, jingling bracelets completed the look. 

Phichit said he looked sexy. He felt like he was going to be sick.

He hadn’t been able to make himself orgasm since Sunday, and that had been a close thing, barely brought about with Big Red and desperate thoughts of Victor. Another failed performance would spell the end of his career for certain. He needed the money, needed the exposure. 

He started breathing fast, heart hammering in his chest. He couldn’t do this. He could feel his precious threads of control shaking and threatening to snap. He was going to mess up again, or worse, find himself on the cusp of release and unable to cross that edge. Would people watching him be enough? 

Or would it be more of the same, desperate, needy, keening and begging for that last push and finding himself unable to come? His hands were trembling. “What if I mess up?” he gasped.

“You won’t mess up,” Phichit said. “You brought out the  _ heels _ , Yuuri, they’re gonna love it no matter what. Okay, two minutes till we’re live. You can do this, Yuuri.”

“But what if I can’t? What if no one signs on, what if I can’t finish, what if- what if-” Yuuri sputtered. He was grabbing for his phone. The scent of the scarf was driving him mad and he needed Victor’s voice like a drug. Phichit was saying something, but Yuuri couldn’t hear a word of it as he thumbed to the contact info and dialed.

“Eros?” came Victor’s surprised voice almost immediately. A disgusting amount of relief washed over him. 

“Victor,” he breathed, shaky. “Victor, I-” He blinked, and things felt a little more centered, a little more grounded. Victor’s voice in his ear and his scent on his nose, and Yuuri could almost pretend like Aria was here. His libido liked the thought. “Please, watch me.” 

There was a long, breathless pause where Yuuri wondered if Victor had heard him, if he had somehow just thought the words instead of saying them aloud. But then he heard it. 

“Of course I will,” Victor said softly. Yuuri’s breath caught, and he nodded, eyes closing. He slowed his breath. This was it. 

Phichit looked worried. Yuuri waved his concern away. 

“Give me a show,” Aria said. Eros made a small, affirmative sound, and he hung up the phone. It was time. 

“I’m ready,” he said, straightening to face the camera. He saw Phichit’s fingers tick down to two, then one, and then they were gone. The light blinked on. They were live. Yuuri cocked his chin at the camera and smirked. Aria was watching him. They all were. He wouldn’t give them a reason to ever look away. 

Yuuri laid down on the bed, cocking his hip up sweetly, folding his arms under his chin. He crossed his ankles in the air, showing off the slope of his calves and ankles, the fluid lines created by the black patent heels.  

“Good evening,” he said sweetly, masking the tremor under a wash of attempted seduction. Time would tell how successful he was. “You know how this goes, don’t you?” He rattled off his regular spiel. Pointed at the bed where he could see it, the screen was blossoming to life with strings of names and text.

**> >Nyekook:** CHOKER KINK FUCK YE

**> LewdLimix has sent 69 coins**

**> BigDickDaddy has sent 500 coins**

**> >BigDickDaddy:** Hey there cutie ;) good to see you again <3 

**> >Deadbyabeatifulman: ** aklsdgnkalsd he’s in heels I can’t

More names and messages flashed across the screen, and Yuuri watched patiently as they rolled past, smiling as he read a few. He was waiting, expectant and watching. 

**> >AlphaAria: ** Hello, my beautiful Eroska

Yuuri’s eyes lingered, and he remembered Victor’s words this morning, when he had finished his call with the endearment as well. “Eroska?” Yuuri said. 

**> >AlphaAria: ** Just a nickname for you, do you not like it? 

**> >AlphaAria: ** I could call you Rosya as well if you prefer -_^ 

He let his lip curl. The rush of butterflies in his stomach was muffling the clenching, anxious feeling in his chest. “Will you be moaning one of those nicknames out when you’re touching yourself tonight?” Phichit’s jaw dropped, and he muffled a shocked giggle behind his hand. 

The Playboy won the vote, and Yuuri nodded, accepting the outcome easily enough. It suited his current mood well. Eros lifted his chin, giving the camera a lingering smile.

“That goes for all of you. I want you watching me tonight. Thinking only of me, watching only me. Don’t you dare look away. Think you can do that for me? Tonight, I’m the playboy, and I’m stealing your hearts.” 

**> >OG-Dom: ** Eros is spicy tonight! 

**> >CandyMan:** Mmmm he looks good enough to eat

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** Loving the attitude and the heels, Eros! Welcome back!

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** Is Vicchan alright?

“He’s fine, thank you for asking,” Yuuri said. He uncrossed his ankles and recrossed them over again, toying his fingers lightly along the edge of his bedsheets. He licked his lips and pressed the tip of his thumb to his mouth. He was already aroused, and every little movement was making it worse. He rutted his hips against the bed once or twice, chasing hints of friction. 

**> >69B4N4N4M4N69: ** fck fck fck ur in heels omg omg hold me

**> >69B4N4N4M4N69: ** Im dead fuk i”m dead

**> >alphalite:** I s2g

**> alphalite has sent 200 coins**

**> >alphalite: ** Stck ur ass out more.

**> >CandyMan: ** What are you planning tonight bby ;DDD

**> >CandyMan: ** Wanna suck on a nice big dildo and pretend it’s my cock?

**> >Linisy:** I CAN’T AFFORD THIS BUT WHATEVER TAKE MY MONEY EROS

**> >Nyekook:** RIGHT??? 

**> >alphalite: ** fck u guys r wrs thn fkn banana nd candyman is fkn gross too

Eros chuckled quietly. “Don’t fight, don’t fight, there’s plenty of Eros to go around. What do you say we get things started the same way we always do? I can start with this shirt,” he said, pushing himself onto his knees. He gave it a little tug along the collar, slowly running his fingers over the hem from the neck down to the mid-pectoral, where the bottom of the ‘V’ neck fell. “Or I could always start with these?”

He ran his hands down his body, drawing attention down to the tight pants around his slender waist and ample ass. 

“I’ve got a few things ready for tonight, but I think I’m a little overdressed, wouldn’t you agree?”

A stream of coins flowed in, musical and chiming. It settled his nerves almost as well as Victor’s voice had. His eyes were drawn to the little scarf at the edge of the bed, just close enough for Yuuri to catch a faint whiff of it when a draft caught the air. He looked back at the camera, drawing one more shaky breath to steady his nerves.

**BittyBetaBoy:** hey eros are you gonna stay like that all night or are you gonna strip? 

Yuuri pretended not to see it. He fluttered his eyes at the camera, already feeling more confident. Out there was Aria, and Eros had something to prove. 

The pants were a deliberate choice, and though they looked painted on, they were loose enough that he wouldn’t struggle to get out of them. He popped the button with a little flick of his fingers, pulling the zip down to reveal a hint of scarlet peeking out. Inch by inch, he revealed the pair of underwear he had chosen for the evening. He shed them with a slow roll of his hips. 

When they were gone, he laid back in the long shirt, a pair of lacy red and black panties peeking out from beneath the hem, and his bare legs leading to the shiny black heels. He spread his legs to give a nice view to the camera of the slowly stiffening bulge between his legs

**> >BigDickDaddy:** haven't seen those before, they new?

“First time wearing them,” Eros confirmed, snapping the waistband so the lace audibly struck his skin. He ran a hand down the line of his groin, already feeling the warm, familiar stirrings of arousal creeping up once more. He’d been turned on for days, and he was finally getting the chance to do something about it. “Do you like them?” His voice was barely a whisper, seductive and low. 

Phichit started to hastily click, typing quickly and quietly in the background. Yuuri ignored him. 

He continued through his routine as usual, shedding the shirt next, flirtatious and slow. Left in the choker, heels, and panties now, he felt like he was buzzing under his skin. He drew out his toys of choice for tonight: a set of vibrating anal beads and a fleshlight. A change from his usual fare, to be sure, but if he wanted to be like Victor, like Aria, he needed to maintain that element of surprise. 

He waited until the coins had reached a crescendo, and he turned his back to the camera, sliding a hand down his spine and settling it on the swell of his ass, right over the underwear. “Now this?” He teased at the hem for a moment before bowing forward, arching his spine so his chest was pressed flush to the bed. He slid the underwear down to his knees with a smile.

He wondered if Victor recognized the thick plug settled inside of him. He gave the camera a few moments to catch the base flaring out of his asshole, stroking his cock as he waited patiently. He was hard between his fingers. He was breathing heavily already, turned on, raring to go. “I need you,” he panted. “I’ve needed you all day.”

He clutched at the base of the plug and yanked it out, letting it fall onto the sheets. A little trickle of slick trailed out behind it. He slid two fingers inside himself and scissored, moaning into the bedsheets. His other hand jerked over his cock. “Aaaah, fuck, fuck,” he gasped. “Ah yes.” He grabbed for the beads.

His body was empty, and while the beads were smaller than the plug, they reached deeper inside him. He pushed the first bead inside, taking it in easily enough. The first one was the smallest of the string of spheres, and they got progressively wider the closer to the base they were, though none were that large alone. He took a deep breath and gave the toy another push. He opened up for the second bead, and then the third, feeling them shift inside him as it worked further and further within him. 

He closed his eyes and pushed the toy in all the way to the hilt, bottoming it out inside him with the thickest bead just within his body. Two of the beads were right there on the edge of his prostate, tantalizingly out of reach and yet so close it was driving him mad. 

“Mmmnn,” he groaned. “Mod has the remote. It’s all yours.” Phichit was still hammering away at the computer. Yuuri glanced up and saw strings of text flying across the screen. He still heard the chime of coins, so it seemed there wasn’t much the matter. “That’s all yours to control tonight,” Eros continued. “Everything else is mine. Ahhhhh, oh yes, I know just what to do tonight.”

He felt the vibration come to life and he gasped into the sheets, arching his spine. It was a higher setting right off the bat, before immediately toning back to something a little less aggressive. Yuuri missed the intensity almost as soon as it had faded. He forced his muscles to relax as he grew more accustomed to the low buzz inside him. 

It settled into a sweet hum within him, vibrating just close enough to that sweet spot that he was dragged closer and closer to the edge, but not so close that it would be overwhelming. He smiled into the sheets. He was feeling closer to his release already than he’d been all week. 

He reached for the fleshlight and the bottle of lubricant. This might have been the only real need he had for it, since his own body tended to slick itself up enough not to need any help, but it was still nice to have on hand.

He left the beads to buzz inside him, humming to himself as he slicked up his cock. He made sure to take it slow for the audience so they could see his hard cock bobbing between his thighs, aching with want and need, flushed red from base to tip. 

He took the fleshlight and held it to the head of his cock, slowly pushing in. It wasn’t like fucking Victor, Yuuri immediately thought. The vibration changed once again and Yuuri muffled a startled gasp. 

He’d used the fleshlight a few times in the past, each time finding it a strange combination of pleasure and artificiality. Yuuri knew a real person would never feel like that, but it had served him well enough in the past. Still, having experienced the tight heat of Victor during the mind-numbing haze of heat, he realized just how different it was. 

Again, Yuuri was struck with the realization that Victor had ruined him, and he couldn’t even bring himself to mind as he chases his pleasure. Instead, he embraced it. If he didn’t, he’d be too paralyzed to move. So he pictured Victor below him as he fucked down into the cocksleeve, holding it in his hands as he pumped his hips. The pace of the vibrator switched again and Yuuri gasped, stalling out as the buzzing suddenly kicked up in intensity.

It was mind-numbing and delicious, a feeling that coursed right through his body and coiled in his gut. His cock twitched inside the sleeve. “Nggghh aaah, more, please,” he gasped, tipping back his hips. He splayed his knees a little wider apart, tilting his ankles to show off the shiny heels he was wearing and the length of his cock vanishing into the fleshlight. 

Victor had been so lovely riding his cock in his dream, and Yuuri couldn’t imagine anything more erotic than the sight of Victor’s faint flush. He wondered what it would feel like, to have the alpha astride his thighs, bobbing up and down on his cock like a dream. Yuuri flipped onto his back, kicking his legs wide apart, jerking the fleshlight furiously over his cock.

God he wanted more inside of him. He wanted something bigger than the beads, something more stimulating than the maddening buzz within his body. He wanted what only Victor could give to him. He wanted the heat, the power, the liquid spill. 

He groaned and gasped, imagining it all so clearly, holding one hand on the cocksleeve and throwing the other out to balance him as he tipped up his hips, pushing into a crab-like position. It was hard in heels, but the feeling of holding his body so open reminded him of the desperation of his heat, and the thought made his cock twitch.

He worked himself over, crying out and gasping in pleasure. The vibrator dialed up and stayed there. It was building up at last, the edge tipping closer and closer with each brush of a vibrating bead against his prostate, each jerk of his hips into the fleshlight. He was close, so desperately close, right there on the edge of falling and needing that one last push to bring himself over. 

He kept one hand on the toy and used the other to pick up the scarf Victor had scented, bringing it up to his nose. He inhaled deeply. His whole body jerked, and he felt his orgasm hit, at first airy and distant, and then crash over him. It was longer than it should have been as Yuuri came undone. He tossed the sleeve aside and stroked himself off so everyone could see it, the white spurts of come as his hips jerked, spattering over his chest and his hips. 

He was crying out for an alpha, just like he knew his chat loved, but in his mind, there was only one alpha he needed. Whether the wait had made it worse or better, it was hard to say. His orgasm was heady and intense. The musky mix of roses and winter in his nose was one that his mind associated with satisfaction and comfort, of orgasm and release. He gave a few shuddering thrusts into his fist, slowing until he finally came to a stop, coming down from the rush of the feeling. 

For a moment, he just laid there, the beads buzzing away inside him still. He glanced at the discarded cocksleeve with a little murmur of complaint, watching come spill out of the soft, puckered entrance. He let the scarf fall from his fingers. 

“Mod,” he groaned. “Beads.” They were too much. When they didn’t shut off, Yuuri blearily yanked them out of his body, shuddering at the sudden vacant feeling. “Ooooohh, fuck fuck,” he gasped. His knees came back together, and he could feel his body wanting something back inside. He eyed the discarded plug, but left it out. He had more self control than that. He tossed the toy beside the sleeve.

Phichit was frantically working at the computer. Puzzled, Yuuri glanced at the monitor, half aware. 

People were fighting. It was chaos. Mod alerts reminding people of the rules interspersed capslocked messages and walls of text. Yuuri had never seen his chat flying so fast. It was like being back on Yurio’s show, watching the gaming stream’s madness unfolding in his own bedroom. People were being kicked, some banned, some simply booted out of the stream. 

The lingering waves of pleasure evaporated. His whole body clenched up. “W-what?” he sputtered in shock. “What's going on?” The chat seemed to speed up. Yuuri sat up. “Whoa whoa, too fast. Mod, what's going on?”

Phichit didn't look away from the computer. When he spoke, his voice was light with panic. “Just getting things under control,” he said hastily. His eyes were racing over the screen, and Yuuri could see the chat visibly slow as the problematic people were booted. 

“What happened?” Yuuri asked. 

“There was a disagreement, people took sides,” Phichit said. “But it's done now. Isn't it?” he added pointedly. 

Yuuri frowned at the camera. He started mopping his stomach off with a towel, all forced nonchalance. The heels caught on the bedsheets, and he tried to arrange his legs attractively. The chat had slowed considerably. New people kept signing on, and Yuuri had the sick feeling that people hadn't been paying attention at all. 

“What was the disagreement over?” he said carefully, trying to keep his voice from shaking. 

**> >OG-Dom: ** you're not actually dating Aria right?

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** of course he is you saw Aria talking about him. 

**> >AlphaAria: ** Of course we’re dating!!

**> >AriasGirl:** but why??? You can do so much better 

Yuuri sucked in a sharp breath. He felt like he'd been slapped. 

**> >CandyMan: ** better than Eros? I don't think so

**> >TwinkInTheSheets:** Yeah but you're a creepy motherfucker what do you know 

**> >AriasGirl: ** Exactly

**> >AriasGirl: ** god all these Eros fans here are psychos 

**> >OG-Dom: ** then why the fuck are you subscribed?

**> >Hoe4AlphaAria: ** obv to tell you idiots the cold hard truth about the little slut you guys love

The message was deleted almost immediately, but it was too late. The damage was done. Yuuri couldn't move. He couldn't even breathe, eyes wide with horror. 

**> >AlphaAria: ** I will not stand for anyone insulting Eros! An insult to him is an insult to me and I am disgusted by this behavior

**> >ProtectAria2k17** : but u deserve so much better 

**> >ProtectAria2k17: ** he's a whore and he knows it, why else is his mod kicking everyone who says it

They were kicked, but it didn't matter because more were taking the place left behind. Yuuri’s eyes skated from one to the next, growing more and more horrified with each new message. His site was bombarded, and the regulars were overwhelmed. 

**> >StepOnMeAria467** : Eros is problematic because he perpetuates stereotypes about slutty omegas and is seducing our beloved Aria when we know he deserves better 

**> >StepOnMeEros: ** tbh I liked it better before Eros got fucked by Aria 

**> >SizeeQueeeen: ** Agreed, eros betrayed his viewers and brand when he stopped doing only solo stuff. His show tonight wasn't even good.

**> >Alpha4Alphas: ** Eros is clearly just using Aria for the attention

**> >Alpha4Alphas:** I bet that scarf had some alpha’s scent on it to help him get off

Phichit was frantically clicking, but even he couldn't quite keep up with the mad surge of posts overwhelming the site. “Shut it down,” Yuuri whispered. His eyes were burning, hot and wet, unable to look away from the screen. 

“I'm trying, I'm sorry, I'm trying!” Phichit cried, redoubling his pace. “This isn't- it's not-” Phichit froze in place. “Sorry Eros,” he whispered, and he hit one more key. The light on the camera went dark. The chat froze, and the thumbnail of Yuuri in the corner blinked out into a black square. 

Yuuri’s cheeks were wet, his body shaking and shuddering with sobs. “Fuck,” he gasped, before he doubled over on the bed. “Fuck fuck fuck, they're right, what am I doing?”

“No no no,” Phichit said. “Don't listen to them. Don't you dare listen to them. They don't know the first thing they're talking about.”

“Well it's working!” Yuuri hissed. “I- I don't even know why I did this.” He broke down on the bed. It didn't matter if they were being mean for the sake of the thing. It still said something that these people were taking time out of their lives just to confirm to Yuuri that Eros was a whore after all. That was all he was. He wasn't good enough for Aria and everyone could tell. Victor’s own fans could certainly see it: the inequality, the dramatic imbalance in levels between Eros and Aria. 

This had been a bad idea. Not just doing the show tonight, but everything: leaving Detroit, being on Victor’s show, and agreeing to go out with Victor. 

How stupid of him, to think he could ever measure up. He was just a cute omega face with a body that could take a big cock. There wasn't anything else special about him. He had let his fans down, and worse, he had let Victor down. 

Phichit tried to comfort him, even bringing Vicchan into the room, but Yuuri just wanted to be alone. 

He sobbed into his pillow, the scarf pressed to his nose.  _ Slut slut, what a slut _ . Only getting off with Victor’s touch, Victor’s scent. He couldn't masturbate without being on camera, where other people were watching. He couldn't come alone. 

He still remembered his heat, the whirlwind of one orgasm after another, pulled out of him under Victor’s expert touch. And now he couldn't even please a few people on the other side of a camera. 

What was there to even like? His embarrassing moans? His failed attempts at dirty talk? It wasn't sexy, not like Victor’s. Even the high heels didn't work, he thought mutinously, kicking them off and rubbing the sore backs of his ankles where they had started to rub. He grabbed a tissue off his desk to blow his nose, and then brought his phone back to the bed. 

On Aria’s site, he found the videos easily enough. He frowned. Look at him, he thought. Look at the slutty way he arched into Victor’s touch like it was the only thing in the world. He skipped to the next video. Look at how he moaned, like some kind of whore out of a porn video when Victor bent him double, legs bent around him like a frog while Victor pushed his cock in and out, driving Yuuri visibly out of his mind. Next video. The two of them on their sides, when Victor had made it his mission to fill Yuuri as full of come as he could. 

Yuuri touched his stomach with a shaky hand, remembering the swishy, almost crampy feeling that came from so much held within his body. In the video, Victor’s cock was knotted inside him. This might have been the second knot in a row, because his stomach was swollen and bulging under Victor’s hand, inflated with the sheer volume of semen Victor had filled him with. Yuuri shuddered at the thought, whimpering and pleased at the memory. 

God it had been so nice. Everything about it had driven him right out of his mind. He smiled, remembering it now. 

It made him want to cry again. Phichit always said to focus on what made him happy. What made him happy was spending time with Victor. 

He wasn't a slut. He couldn't be. He clutched his head in agony. Maybe he was? Or maybe he wasn't. It didn't matter. Slut or not, those people were wrong about one thing: Victor wanted him. For now, for this short period of time, Victor was paying him attention. And he was going to prove to the world why he was the best, and why he was the one to earn Victor’s attentions. 

He threw the phone aside and pressed the scarf to his nose, inhaling deeply. His own scent was suffusing with Victor’s, making it almost sweeter. 

If they were going to hate him, he was going to give them a reason to. 


	14. Just Like Poison

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality strikes, and a package arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!!! Well, happy Chapter 14 on 1/4/18 anyway ;)

He had missed two calls from Victor. There were also a handful of texts from Phichit that assured him that if he needed anything at all, Phichit was waiting in the kitchen with ice cream. Yuuri ignored them.

He dried his eyes and was fixing the panda-like smudges left from his makeup just as his phone rang again. There was no contact photo for Victor yet in his phone. None of the ones online seemed right, and an image of Aria wouldn't have necessarily been appropriate. But the name was still there on the screen, waiting.

This time, Yuuri accepted the call. “Hello?” he said softly. His voice was a bit scratchy, but level enough that he didn't sound like he was being emotional. That was the important part. He didn't look like more of an emotional wreck than he had when the show had cut out.

“Eros,” Victor breathed. His eyes widened in relief. “Oh thank god you're okay. When your show cut out and you weren't answering I thought- Well, I assumed the worst.”

“It's fine. I'm fine,” Yuuri said quickly. And the more he considered it, the truer those words felt. He clenched his fist around the scarf. The clouds of Victor’s scent steadied him. He would show Victor why Yuuri deserved this just for now, and he would show the rest of them, too.

In the little window in the corner, Yuuri could see himself, his eyes bright and only a little glassy, staring with a bit of concern. Victor dominated the display. He was as beautiful as always, shirtless and frowning.

“I would understand if you aren't,” Victor said. His expression was cold. “What those ‘fans’ of mine said was disgusting and unacceptable. They are not fans of mine. For them to-”

“Victor,” Yuuri said softly.

The ice in his eyes melted into something sad, something lost and almost childlike, and it cut Yuuri to the core. “I tried to stop them,” Victor breathed. “I tried, Eros, the whole time your show was running they were saying the most horrible things, and then it got worse when it ended-”

“Did you get off?” Yuuri interrupted.

“How could I?” Victor sounded insulted, and maybe he was. “Like I could get off when I’m watching your fans and people who call themselves my fans tear themselves apart over this.”

This was exactly what Yuuri didn’t want: Victor suffering because of this, Victor dealing with a drama that was entirely Yuuri’s fault. A flare of frustration ripped through him. His eyes fluttered in the little window in the corner of the screen, and a dark impulsiveness seized him. With Victor’s voice on the line, Victor’s scent in his nose, it had an almost Pavlovian response to begin with. “This was supposed to be for you,” Yuuri said.

“Eros?” Victor breathed. Yuuri pressed the scarf to his nose and took a long, deep breath. It was heady and rich, making his body curl inward down to his toes, a little shiver visibly shaking him. He let out an audible whimper. He glanced at the camera and saw a visible flush on Victor’s cheeks. He looked far more interested here and now than he had with Cao Bin, and it made Yuuri feel that desperate, dark pride. The urge to please and satisfy and possess was so implicitly omega, but it was something he couldn’t bring himself to deny.

He wanted Victor, and he wanted him to want Yuuri right back, at least for the five weeks standing between Yuri and another flight back to LA, when he could give Victor that payoff for waiting all that time.

“I found this,” Yuuri said. “It smelled like you, and I had to have it.” Victor’s cheeks were an even brighter red, and he was covering his mouth with his hand, like he was visibly restraining himself.

“... Oh.” Victor’s voice was steadier than Yuuri’s. “Did you know your scent is almost gone?” Victor murmured. “The pillows don’t smell like you anymore. The carpet doesn’t hold your scent.”

The scent of a desperate omega tended to linger around a place. It had stunk up the onsen for a week after Yuuri’s first heat, and it had plunged him into aftershocks of arousal from the cocktail of his own pheromones clinging to the clothes in his closet, the towels he’d padded his bed with. Only deep cleaning his room had cleared it away. But Victor had a maid to clean in the wake of the rut, which must have been useful when an alpha’s scent could be just as persistent.

Yuuri bit his lip. “What would you do? If you were here right now?” Yuuri licked his lips. Concern seemed to be warring with Victor’s arousal.

“Eros, are you sure-” Victor broke off when Yuuri brought his hand down and stroked his cock a few times. Maybe he couldn’t see the slow motion of Yuuri’s hand slicking along his length, but the way Yuuri’s head tipped back was unmistakable, the way his eyelids fluttered. “My Eroska…” Victor breathed.

Yuuri peeked through his lashes, studying the screen. “I’d want to touch you, if I could,” Yuuri murmured. The images played in his mind, lurid and hotter than any porn Yuuri could remember. “I’d want to suck you, feel your cock get hard in my mouth.”

The flush on Victor’s cheeks deepened. “Is that all you want?” he asked. His voice was rough.

“I’d want your fingers opening me up, getting me ready to take you inside me,” Yuuri continued. His voice sounded cracked even in his own ears, husky and thick with desire. “And…” he hesitated, wondering if this was sexy at all.

The way Victor reacted seemed proof enough, a flush on his face and his arm jerking furiously in the edge of the display. He was jerking off to Yuuri, masturbating to Eros’s voice and his words. Yuuri tilted the phone to get more of his body in the frame, showing off the spill of come across his belly from earlier, his hard cock standing erect between his thighs.

“I could fuck myself on your cock, aaah!” He gasped when he pushed his fingers inside himself. “Aaah, Victor, oh god, I want… I want you in me,” Yuuri gasped. He buried his face in the scarf beside him, breathing deeply. Victor’s scent filled his lungs, filled him entirely, the way Victor’s cock did.

It seemed like it was over so quickly, breathy words punctuated by sharp gasps until they’d dissolved into simply moaning the other’s name. At last, Yuuri lifted his head and looked back at the little phone screen. Victor was breathing heavily. Yuuri mopped up his own release with the discarded rag. The dried semen on his stomach from earlier was tacky and starting to itch on his skin.

“Eros,” Victor murmured. His eyes were half open. A bit of his release painted his chest. “Are you okay? Really, the things those people said on your show-”

“I’m fine, Victor,” Yuuri said quickly. “Really, it’s fine. You don’t need to worry. I…” He paused, feeling the swell in his heart just looking at the come splattered on Victor’s skin. “I know what I’m doing. I have ideas. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Victor said. “Please do! So you’ve got ideas for your next show?”

“Uh… yeah,” Yuuri said. He made himself smile, letting his lips pull into a seductive curve. He could feel the flood of Eros through him, irresistible and strong. “I have to figure a few things out first, but trust me. I think you’re going to like it.”

Victor smiled. “I can’t wait,” he said softly.

When they had said their goodbyes, Yuuri hung up and stared at the screen. From the corner of his eye, he could still see the camera set up on the tripod, right where Phichit had left it.

He had to surprise them. He had to show them all. He didn’t know the name for the feeling inside him right now: jealousy, or desire, or the blooming warmth he felt when he thought about Victor’s smile. He slipped on a pair of underwear and gathered Vicchan up in his arms, feeling the little tail thump against his chest.

Phichit was on his laptop when Yuuri came out. “How many people were banned?” Yuuri asked.

Phichit looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“People who called me a… well, you know,” Yuuri said, stumbling over the word. “How many did you kick and how many did you permaban?

The baffled expression deepened. “I… I don’t know. I’d have to check the numbers. But why would you-” He seemed to notice the determined expression on Yuuri’s face because his jaw snapped shut. “Right. I’ll figure that out. But what do you need it for?”

“Let’s just say that I’ve got an idea for Wednesday’s show,” Yuuri said. “Let me know when you figure it out.” He had other things to take care of in that time.

He brought Vicchan with him back to his room and sat at his laptop. He was already getting dangerous ideas. When Phichit knocked on his door twenty minutes later, Yuuri answered it with a little hop in his step.

“I kicked 56 temporarily. 28 people permabanned,” Phichit reported. “7 of them were long-term fans of yours I had to kick for their behavior. The rest… well…”

“Thank you, Phichit,” Yuuri said, and he meant it, truly and deeply. “This helps. I’ll let you know the plan tomorrow morning, alright?”

Phichit pursed his lips. “Yuuri, we need to talk about this, I think.”

Yuuri paused. “... Do we?”

“I saw how you looked at the end of your show. You look okay now, Yuuri, but are you really?”

“I’m fine,” Yuuri said. Phichit didn’t look like he quite believed Yuuri. Yuuri glared. “Really, Phichit, I’m fine.”

“But what if it happens again?” Phichit said. “I can't hold them off. I need help, Yuuri. I think we need more people-”

“No,” Yuuri said quickly. He shook his head. Help would mean bringing more people into this, more people they'd have to tell.

Who would Phichit even ask? Guang-Hong? No way could they ask that sweet, innocent beta to bear witness to Yuuri slutting it up on camera. Seung Gil could probably keep a secret and do the job efficiently, but the last thing Yuuri wanted was to try and convince Seung Gil to get involved. He'd take one look at Yuuri and ask “Why?” and Yuuri didn't know the answer to that any better than Seung Gil did.

“Please, do you think we can keep it just the two of us?”

Phichit pursed his lips. “Yuuri… I don't know… I wouldn't be able to guarantee that it wouldn't happen again-”

“If it happens again, we kick them,” Yuuri said, staring intently at his feet. He glanced up, trying to look steadier than he felt. “Right? Just like always. It… It'll be fine.”

“If you're sure… Good night, I guess?” Phichit said.

Yuuri nodded. “Good night. I’ll probably stay up a bit longer.” He returned to his computer with Vicchan happily sitting in his lap as he scrolled through website after website. 28 people permabanned. That was 28 subscriptions for this month that had been thrown away in the name of tonight’s conflict. And at five bucks a pop, that gave him $140 bucks to work with. And if he added a dollar for every person who was kicked…

It was time to go shopping.

He placed the order and selected the speediest shipping. He was a little short, but the splurge was worth it. It would be a good investment overall. He just had to dip into the money he'd saved from his heat, and Yuuri couldn't see a better use for it than now.

He clicked the final order button a little harder than necessary. He would show them all.

* * *

When Sunday dawned bright and far too early for Yuuri’s tastes, he rolled out of bed, feeling a fire in his gut and determination searing through his veins. He glanced at his package tracking, but it wouldn’t ship out for a while. Even so, he checked it obsessively for most of the morning until Phichit plopped a plate of food in front of him with a capital ‘L’ Look.

“Seriously, Yuuri, are you alright?” he asked.

“Never better,” Yuuri replied cheerily.

Victor called later, equally concerned, but Yuuri brushed the concerns away. Victor didn’t need to be worrying about Eros. Eros was supposed to be fierce, powerful, and beautiful. He was an unstoppable monster who didn’t get shaken by a few comments. And Victor was Aria, a creature above such earthly concerns as Yuuri’s status as a cam whore.

Yuuri’s fist clenched, and he redirected his attention, trying to ignore the clenching in his chest. “Phichit, did that studio ever return our calls?”

“Not yet,” Phichit said. Yuuri nodded. He knew where he was going next.

He made for the studio, speaking with an employee to find out when the owner might be available.

Phichit couldn’t handle all of this by himself, last night had proved that. But they couldn't bring someone else in, either.  Even if Yuuri wasn’t knowledgeable with the technical side of things, he could still do things as simple as this.

He was fortunate, and found out that he could meet with her as soon as she got back from her lunch, provided she had time before her beginners class to speak with him. He waited for her to arrive, and they discussed the possibilities of filming a few videos there. She was friendly enough, and more than willing to allow it, provided he reserved the time slots through the proper channels.

He set reservations for Friday evening, right before they closed for the night, and updated the calendar on his website.

All there was to do was wait now. He texted Victor, but he was careful to avoid any mention of his plans, and any time the topic of Saturday night came up, he was quick to dismiss it. He couldn't bear to consider it. It alternately sent him spiraling and fired him up at the same time and it was too confusing to bear.

He texted Yurio as well, and they played a few rounds of Overwatch to work off some of the nervous energy Yuuri had simmering under his skin.

Yurio was quiet before the first game, but they broke into their usual banter quickly enough. Something was distracting Yurio, too. “Get your head in the game, Yurio!” Yuuri laughed. “Don't tell me you're sleeping when you should be shooting.”

“I’m not- hey, what did you call me?” Yurio snapped.

Yuuri blinked. “Oh. I called you Yurio, didn't I?” he realized.

“What the hell kind of nickname is that,” Yurio hissed.

Yuuri laughed. “I thought it was cute. You don't mind, do you?”

“Mind? Of course I mind! I'm not a child, Eros.”

“I know you're not,” Yuuri said. “If a cutesy nickname makes you a child, maybe I should be more concerned with Victor calling me Eroska,” Yuuri added thoughtfully. “I guess I don't have to…”

Yurio was silent for a long second on the headset, and he coughed slightly. “As long as you don't say it in front of Victor.” He snorted as another game queued up. “Speaking of. You and Victor.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri agreed gently.

“Can't say I'm that surprised,” Yurio said grudgingly.

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked, wondering if his blind adoration of Victor had been that visible. Yes, was the answer, most likely it was.

“I have fucking eyes,” Yurio scoffed, and Yuuri bit back a long sigh. Right. Yuuri was pathetically obsessed, following Victor like a lost puppy chasing a bone. “Even if I don’t get it, I’m not surprised.” The disparity was obvious, even to Yurio.

In class on Monday, a part of him wondered if people could smell the reek of anxious omega under the scent blockers. He texted Victor and tried to calm himself.

Tuesday passed. On Wednesday, it finally arrived.

Yuuri had been panicking all day, wondering if it would show up on his doorstep on time. When he saw the package sitting in mail collection, unassumingly marked and in a plain brown box, Yuuri suddenly found himself almost unable to breathe once more. He carried the box upstairs with a certain trepidation.

Only once he was behind the closed doors of his bedroom did he grab a pair of scissors and set to work unboxing.

It was _beautiful._

Better than he could have even imagined it, Yuuri laid all the parts and pieces of his order out beside one another.

It was big. Bigger than Big Red, almost as big as Victor. It was long and thick and had a delicious swell in the middle that would press so nicely against everything inside him. The material was pitch black and flecked with cobalt glitter, shimmery in the afternoon light leaking through the closed blinds.

Yuuri was entranced by the sight of it. It was more beautiful than a dildo had any right to be. Beside it, he found the come tubes, plunger, and the bottle of specialty lubricant. He popped the cap on the bottle, eyes widening. It was thick and milky white, like some sort of cross between lube and semen.

He quickly washed all the parts, making sure they all connected properly. His hands were shaking. Was it anticipation, or nerves? Didn’t matter. He couldn’t back out now, it was simply too late for that.

The plunger connected to the tubes, which in turn led to the thick dildo toy. He could pour the come lube into the large plunger-style syringe and use it to make the toy appear to ejaculate inside of him.

He didn’t need the lubricant as much for when he was trying to work the toy inside himself, his own slick did the job well enough, but it would be there in case Yuuri found himself struggling to stay aroused. It would be easier to pretend if he didn’t have to worry about drying up.  

Yuuri left it on the bed and continued with his plan. The rest of the pieces were already waiting in his closet.

Phichit came in with the camera shortly before time. “I don’t know about this, Yuuri,” he admitted. “I can’t kick them all out if they do that again.”

Yuuri could feel the panic. It settled over him like a cold chill, clenching tight in his chest just from looking at the camera. Yuuri shook it away. “I have to do this tonight. I have to, Phichit. I’m going to see this through. Victor said they probably wouldn’t, anyway, but even so. I won’t let them stop me.”

“I really don’t want you to get hurt because of this,” Phichit said. Yuuri set the cardboard box on the bed. He’d placed all his gear inside, and he had dressed up once again. This time, it was a strappy lingerie number.

A viewer had sent him the funds and the link, begging for Yuuri to order it. Well Yuuri had, and when it was delivered, he’d immediately blushed himself silly and threw it into the back of his closet. It wasn’t like the skimpy panties he sometimes wore. It wasn’t like being suggestive.

He couldn’t remember who it was who had requested it, but he thanked them for their taste now. He had it on under a robe, paired with the same heels as last time. Yuuri stepped away, pulling the robe open to study himself in the body mirror, checking himself over one last time.

The bands crisscrossed over his skin, some in lacy mesh patterns and some showing off swathes of exposed skin. It hugged his body like a dream, following the contours of his figure and highlighting it too an indecent effect. It pulled at his hips, lashed over his nipples, and clung tight to his groin. It took forever to figure out how the straps were arranged, and he’d needed to consult the included picture multiple times to confirm the fit.

Phichit was frozen behind him, the camera motionless in his hands. His eyes were like saucers, widened in shock. “Holy shit, Yuuri.”

Yuuri checked his hair and kissed his teeth. If he didn’t start this soon, he’d die of a heart attack. “How long until we’re on?”

“Five minutes, give or take,” Phichit sputtered. “Yuuri, that’s-”

“I know,” Yuuri muttered, flushing red. He had already texted Victor and told him to please watch the show tonight. Victor had replied with an ‘of course’ and some other sort of message that made him sound worried and concerned. But Yuuri didn’t want Victor worrying after him. He didn’t want the internet to see him weak.

Yuuri was going to show them all, even if it killed him inside.

He tugged the straps, snapping them against his skin. His ass hung out the back, caressed by the embrace of the strings, but open for any sort of fun he might be interested in.

“I think I’m ready,” Yuuri said. His voice was only a little shakier than he’d like. Phichit jarred into motion, finishing his last minute adjustments to the position of the camera and the lights. Yuuri laid out the new toy on the bed and knelt beside it, adopting a sweet, submissive position.

How did he look right now? Pristine as he once had seemingly so long ago, his neck unmarked and unblemished, unbitten by any alphas? Did he look corrupted still, spoiled goods from Victor’s lips on his neck and his cock in Yuuri’s body, filling him and driving into him until he screamed and begged?

Or was he something else, something uniquely Eros, something able to claim and possess the great Aria’s attention?

The little red light turning on made everything else fall away. Yuuri narrowed his eyes, letting his head fall back to expose his neck. He brought his knees together, striving for a pretty, vulnerable look. Maybe he looked silly. Maybe he didn’t. But he pulled the robe closed a little tighter around him.

“Good evening, everyone,” Eros murmured, peering through his lashes. “I hope you’re doing well. Let’s make sure we all play by the rules tonight, shall we?”

There were rapid-fire strings of messages crossing the screen. Yuuri could barely pick out Victor’s before it was buried under the other messages flying past.

 **> >AlphaAria: **You look beautiful tonight like always

 **> >CandyMan: **Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen

 **> >MissMeri: **AAAH your waist looks so tiny in that!

 **> >Mallinish: **What’s under the robe?

Yuuri felt a lazy smile cross his face.

“Oh, do you want to know? You’ll have to be patient a little longer,” Yuuri murmured. He ran through his usual pre-show routine, making a small show of sliding his box of toys in front of him. The robe fell softly over his thighs. His eyes widened as he saw Phichit immediately kick someone.

The fear crept back over him. He had to remember what was important. What mattered. Arousal sang through his blood, the thoughts of Victor’s attentions, of everyone’s attentions, and he felt the lacy front of the strappy panties grow tight. He could do this.

“I made a little investment recently,” Yuuri said lightly. He pulled himself to his knees, trailing his fingers over the box. “I think you might like it. I hope you do, anyway.”

Yuuri eased the robe off one shoulder, showing off a hint of the black lace beneath. “I know some of you are a little disappointed that there’s no poll. I wanted to make sure that I could show off my new little treat to the full extent. I hope that’s alright?”

Yuuri didn’t even look at the chat. They’d like this next part well enough. The sounds of ringing coins were answer enough for him, anyway. Yuuri rolled his shoulders.

He turned his back to the camera, placing his palms on the bed sheets. He tilted his ass out. The box fell to the floor with a sharp sound of jostling silicone and things spilling out. He ignored, it, swinging his hips slowly left, then right, swaying to an imagined song.

He settled on his knees on the bed, kneeling with his back to the camera. He grinned over his shoulder. He waited a moment, feeling a rhythm inside him he couldn’t hear, before teasing the robe off his shoulders to bare the straps crisscrossing at the base of his neck. He yanked it back into place. It was just a taste of what was to come.

Yuuri let the strip tease continue, patient and unhurried. If there was anything to be proud of, Yuuri knew that when he looked like this, when he worked himself over the pole until he dripped with sweat and stayed out of the katsudon, he looked irresistible.

Time to use that.

The lingerie seemed inspired by bondage. At least, that’s what the description of it online had said. When the sleeves of the robes fell back with careless sweeps of his arms, Yuuri knew there was a glimpse of the fabric peeking out, the black lace and fabric particularly thin and delicate around his wrists but suggestive of cuffs. The neckline was similar.

He let his hands roam over his body, sliding up his hips and waist, letting the friction from his palms catch the robe and drag it up, showing a tantalizing peek of thigh. Up and up, the hands wandered, touching like a curious lover, exploring the contours of his figure. A satisfied sigh slipped from his lips.

“Do you want to touch?” he asked, breaking the silent spell that had fallen over the bedroom. He took the ringing chorus of coins as a yes. “Should I take off the robe?”

He eased the shoulders down with a roll of his hips, baring the breadth of his back, the sleeves caught loosely in the crooks of his elbows. He let the robe drop, rolling his body forward.

Yuuri was a beautiful omega. A dancer. He knew how to make his body work for him. He knew how to use it to his advantage. And so he did now, teasing himself around to face the camera with eyes closed.

His cock was hard in the lingerie, swelling with a little bulge that threw off the silhouette. Or perhaps it enhanced it. He made a show of fingering himself open wide, taking himself apart with his fingers until he was rutting into the bed, moaning and panting. He opened himself up as much as he would for Big Red, and then continued, letting the open back of the outfit frame his fingers disappearing inside himself.

“The real surprise is about to begin, my lovely viewers,” Yuuri murmured. His eye caught on the screen and he had to forcibly tear himself away before he could read anything on it. Chat was racing.

Yuuri’s heart started to pound for a different reason. He let his body twitch, open and ready, the passage winking and aching to have something back inside.

“I've got a new toy, something I'm sure you'll all appreciate.” He kept the tubes hidden between the sheets and his own body, drawing out the length of the toy from the tangle of untucked blankets. “I definitely will,” he added, giving the length of it a gentle stroke.

The dildo was stark against his skin, dwarfing his hands. He gave an eager little wiggle of of his hips.

“Mmnn, want it in me so bad,” he murmured. “What do you think? Can I have it? Can I put it in?” He didn't hear enough coins so he let out a soft moan. “Please…” he breathed, getting a little more excited. “More… Please, I need you… need it in me…”

Were they going to make him work for it? It did have such a lovely appeal. He found his wandering mind pulled to the chat, but the ringing of coins was enough to satiate his curiosity for now.

He let out a pleased sigh. His body was slick and open and ready, dripping like a good little omega, so wet for the viewers watching him. And somewhere out there, watching as well, was Victor. Aria.

“Need, I need…” he panted, hamming it up just a bit. He rolled his body until he was positioned perfectly, knees and chest to the bed, hips turned up. He curled his finger, beckoning Phichit closer with the camera to offer a POV shot from above. His cock was heavy and hard, the tip dragging teasingly against the bed. He gave it a few short strokes as he laid the fat, blunt head of the dildo along the crease of his ass. He let it sit there a moment, letting viewers get a tantalizing look at it before it went inside. He started to push it in.

It didn't want to go. He adjusted his hips again, trying to play it off and keep pushing, putting more force behind it. It took a few more tries before the thick head breached him, a little gasp slipping through his lips. His eyes were wide. _Oh damn_ , that was big. He knew Victor was bigger. But heats had a way of making little things like limits disappear, had a way of helping him push the pinch and stretch from his mind. And he'd been opened so much, so far, back then. It had been awhile since he'd been so full.

So with just the head pushing inside of him, he was curling his fingers into the sheets, taking slow breaths to get ready to push the rest of it in. He reached around and gave it a little push. It eased inside, inch by girthy inch. He let the little breathy moans bubble past his lips, not quite able to muffle them fully. He could feel the thicker swell of it, larger than Big Red by a noticeable margin. He was panting when he reached the thickest part of the middle.

“Big,” he gasped, fluttering his eyes at the camera. “It’s so big, I can’t, I don’t think I can-” He gave a little push, and the whole thing slid inside him, leaving him groaning softly into the bed at the heavy feeling in his belly, the thick swell holding him so very, very open. Still not as big as Victor, but he wondered if he pressed on it, if he bent backwards, if he could see the same shadow of a bulge on his stomach. His lips twitched into a grin.

His body laid splayed out, vulnerable and open, the thick base of the toy stretching him deliciously wide. “Aria,” he breathed.

He rocked back, pulling it out of him a little and letting it slide itself back in, huffing a little as he worked himself up to actually fucking himself with it. His head rolled back, free hand clutching for the sheets near where the plunger was hidden.

“Aria please,” Yuuri moaned. “Need you, ah, fuck, please, harder.” The images crept into his head unbidden, but it only made it better.

There weren't many people in this world Yuuri would drop to his knees for. But if Victor said the word, Yuuri thought he might. He might do it without a thought. Kneeling was such a nice position for lots of fun things. Yuuri imagined sucking Victor’s cock, feeling it grow heavy and hard on his tongue until it no longer fit easily between his lips.

Yuuri loved sucking cock, loved pulling off to drag the flat of his tongue over it, working it in his hands and feathering teasing kisses along the length of the shaft. He wanted the chance to taste that cock again. He wanted to worship the heavy length, the thickness, so big he could barely get his lips around it.

He wanted to be in a place where Victor could bury his fingers in Yuuri’s hair, pull him down as far as he could until Yuuri’s whole world was that cock.

And when Victor got bored with Yuuri’s mouth, he could slide right between Yuuri’s legs, into the twitching, eager little hole waiting to be filled to the brim with come. Yuuri melted into bliss, fucking himself open, letting the camera see the long length of it slipping in and out, so thick, reaching so deep.

The sounds of coins slowed as a Yuuri worked himself over. Phichit was clicking frantically again.

Don’t look. Don’t look, looking will only hurt. Yuuri could feel the toy drag inside him. He tried to hide the wince. He palmed the plunger, depressing it a little with his thumb until he felt a little gush of come lube spill into him. Slicked again, he fucked himself, letting his head fall back so he wouldn’t be tempted to look.

More clicking. More typing.

Yuuri rolled onto his back with a catlike stretch, letting his legs fall open. He bit his lip and arched his back up until he could see the shadow the head of the toy pushing at his stomach with each thrust inside him. He let out an obscene moan. “So big, Aria, harder, more,” he begged, shooting more of the cum lube.

His eye cracked open.

The screen was racing with wave after wave of comments, spiteful and vicious. They flicked from sight like fireflies, popping into existence before vanishing again, almost faster than Yuuri could read them.

Not fast enough.

 **> >asdfghk: **look ur boy is overrated get tf over it

 **> >aarriiaa:** HE IS NOT!!!! AT LEAST ARIA ISN’T A FUCKBOI LIKE EROS

 **> >asdfghk: **wtf is a fuckboi

 **> >trickydicks: **god so fucking gordgeous wanna see that slut riding me like that

 **> >Paparazzombie:** This is it? I wasted five dollars and ten minutes of my life for this?

 **> >midknight:** bet im bigger than that fukin aria he’s screaming for

 **> >xxSweetxAsxCandyxx: ** HA you wish your cock was that big [ https://goo.gl/9UudC6 ](https://goo.gl/9UudC6)

**> >midknight: **binch u aint shit

 **> >AMIGOD4398: **ok, just… eros, or whatever your name is, why?

 **> >AlphaAria: **Eros please, please ignore them

 **> >Coyotea: **Do you fantasize that your childish insults could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them?

 **> >alphalite: **FCK OFF U FCKNG FCKRS FND SMTH BETTR 2 DO W/ UR LIVES

 **> >AMIGOD4398: **how broke or attentionstarved do you have to be to go online and let people watch you ufck yourself for money.

 **> >alphalite:** IF U DNT LYKE IT GET TF OUT

 **> >OG_Dom: **hey alphalite, please don’t get yourself kicked again.

 **> >Stargirlxxx: **Fucking hell chat is a war zone

 **> >alphalite: **PISS OFF DOM

 **> >CESSPOOLE: **you piss off twatlite

 **> >Stargirlxxx:** You people should be fucking ashamed of yourselves, you’re all acting like children.

 **> >twinkielover: **i’m just find a new whore to watch. too much drama here. theyre all the same anyway

 **> >Thunderfuck:** I miss the good old days

 **> >BunBunny:** not aaariaaaa <3 <3 <3 <3

 **> >93numbat:** aria’s shit too these days. dropping my sub

 **> >EBEL4LULS:** same, and this sub too. Just not worth the $$$

Yuuri looked away, but he could still see comments racing past. His body clenched down on the toy. He dried up, breath rasping faster and faster as his eyes rolled back in his head. He could feel the panic creeping up on him. Irrational and wild, his breath wheezing out of his control. He clutched at the plunger in his hand, not depressing it, but holding it so tightly the plastic bit into his hand.

He knew this would happen. They were wrong. They were all wrong, wrong, wrong, stirring shit up for the express purpose of upsetting him. It was all lies.

But what if they were right?

Yuuri clutched the plunger tighter, all air escaping his lungs in a sudden wheeze. Oh god, they were right. Thinking otherwise was just a stupid game. He was a whore, a slut. What was he even doing right now? He enjoyed their eyes, thrived on being seen. He worshipped Victor’s cock like a devout at an altar. Claiming he wasn’t a slut was a lie, it was a filthy lie. Yuuri was the liar, not them.

But it was too late. He had to finish his show. He fucked himself with the thick toy, feeling it drag inside himself, dry as a bone. He rolled back onto his knees. A quick shot of the come lube, and he felt the friction begin to ease. He closed his eyes. As long as he could force himself from seeing the screen, there was deniability. As long as his face was buried in the sheets, ass up, he could pretend the fat toy splitting his ass open was Aria.

He could imagine Victor bending over him, caressing the skin of his thighs, parting his legs to just the right distance apart. Victor… Victor thought he was beautiful, at least, didn’t he? Victor didn’t seem to care what they thought. Yuuri twisted with a soft cry, the ridged tip dragging perfectly across his prostate.

His eyes cracked open, and he found himself facing the comments again. He closed them once more. There was no fight without an opponent. Since the fight raged on, someone had to think he wasn’t a slut. Deluded and wrong though they might be, they still found him beautiful, he realized. He had Victor, and he had his few fans, too.

How blind of Yuuri. How stupid. He had support all along, and he’d been too blind to see it, too stupid to acknowledge it was even there. Victor couldn’t have been the only person fighting them off. Misplaced and misguided, they still followed him.

And why were those others mad?

Yuuri splayed his knees wider apart, a little moan escaping him as he rocked the toy deeper, shooting another gush of lube inside himself. It was dripping down his thighs, soaking into the lace of the lingerie and making the skin gleam in the lights. Yuuri grinned.

They were mad because Victor was his boyfriend. They were jealous that a slut like Yuuri could have Victor moaning his name without even being there. They were jealous of Eros.

Eros didn’t give a damn what people thought, and Yuuri didn’t want their pity either. He wanted to be seen as the best. He wanted to be the one who stole Aria from them. He stroked his cock through the fabric. The lingerie on his skin was divine, like the touch of a lover, like Victor’s warm hands against him.

Everyone could see him laid out on his bed, a vision in dark silk and lace, the glittering black toy peeking between his cheeks. “Aria, fill me up,” he begged. “Wanna be so full of your come.” He held the toy’s base flat against the bed, rocking his hips a few more times, so close to the edge. He depressed the plunger the rest of the way, and he wheezed at the sudden flood of the come lube inside him, imagining it was Victor coming inside him.

He spilled into the lingerie, coming with the pretty little sounds he knew his long-time viewers would love. And for a long moment, he stayed there on his knees, panting. His stomach puffed slightly from the volume of lube inside him.

He locked eyes with the camera, letting his head fall back. His scent glands, pure and unmarked once more, were fully exposed. He cradled his hands around his full stomach. He could feel the dildo still lodged deep inside him, and he moaned gently. “Mmm, so good,” he groaned. He crooked his legs a little bit apart, leaning forward just enough to perfectly expose his hole.

He reached back to work the end of the toy out. The fat head caught briefly on his rim, and Yuuri had to adjust the toy to pull it out. The head popped out of him, and with it came a thick gush of the lube spilling out of him, pouring out of him in a stream that painted the entirety of the huge toy in slick and puddled on the bed. The stream slowed, and it trickled out of his fluttering hole and down his thighs.

Yuuri panted. The camera got an alluring smile for its troubles. Yuuri stretched, working another short gush of lube loose. “I hope you liked that little surprise,” he murmured. “Did you have as good a time as I did?”

 **> >rogit:** I expected more tbh, really plain for an omega

 **> >wulfsbane:** trying to hard

 **> >riu:** @rogit ya he's not just plain but his eyebrows are actually weird. youd think someone who is involved in something that involves showmanship would invest in his appearance a little more

 **> >Shigglegit:** He wants that dick back, can you blame him? Can’t forget that alpha cock inside him

 **> >gildergrunt: **Aria’s the gold standard for alpha dicks and everyone he’s fucked can agree

 **> >rogit: **@riu yes exactly, it’s really underwhelming

 **> >HiHoSilver: **i liked it better when he fucked Jack Off Metti they had more fun

 **> >riu:** also like i don't know what he's trying to do with his hair. like people usually do that when they have good faces b/c it emphasizes their face.

 **> >ErosIsASluuuutt:** STOP FUCKING KICKING ME AND ACKNOWLEDGE ME LIKE A MAN

 **> >riu**: his face is the last thing i would be confident about. even his like body. It’s not nice and toned like Aria’s.

 **> >wulfsbane: **theyre boht boring I’m done with these sluts

 **> >riu: **ya me too if they keep doing stupid shit like this

Yuuri had glanced at the screen out of habit. He didn’t make any sudden moves. Nothing so dramatic as his breath catching in his throat, or cliche as a gasp of shock.

He simply blinked at the comments still coursing over the screen, feeling a stone-cold void settle in his chest like a yawning emptiness. A bland smile stretched his lips, as fake as every other one of Eros’s grins.

He was quiet as he answered questions. His eyes glazed over derogatory comments.

“Yuuri. Yuuri, are you okay?” Phichit’s voice drifted, so far away.

Yuuri nodded.

“Yuuri, the show is over. Do you want to… clean up?”

Yuuri blinked a few times, and he nodded again. Phichit snapped into focus. “Uh, yeah,” Yuuri said. He glanced around. Phichit was halfway through taking things down. Vicchan was pawing frantically at the door. “Yeah I’ll just-” He rose onto his knees, wincing at the gaping, fluttering feeling left behind by the toy, the filthy slide of clammy lingerie on come-soaked skin.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Yuuri said. “Can… I have a few minutes alone?”

Phichit nodded. “Yeah, yeah I can… uhm. I can get the mail.”

Yuuri closed his eyes, and opened them to stare at the wall. The door opened and closed. A long pause. Another door. Yuuri could hear Phichit tossing the mail in a pile by the door, like always. Phichit paused in the entry.

“I’m fine,” Yuuri said to himself. “This is fine. Everything is fine.” His breath caught, and he repeated the words over and over, until they felt empty. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” His body trembled, and he moved to the shower, barely sparing Phichit a glance.

The mail was going into two piles, sorted neatly between them. Left for Phichit, right for Yuuri, as usual. Yuuri’s pile had a few letters. A small-ish box. Yuuri closed the bathroom door, blocking it all out.

He pulled up his phone, suspecting the worst. He wondered if people would follow through on what they said.

Victor had noticeably fewer followers now.

Yuuri muttered to himself in the shower, rubbing his hands down his arms to stop the shaking. His fault. This wasn't just affecting Yuuri.

It spilled out, gross sobs he muffled under the stream of the water. The truth was right there, staring him in the face.

Victor was going to call him when he got out of the shower, and he'd talk to Yuuri like Yuuri was something worthwhile. Like Yuuri was _Eros_.

But he wasn't. He wasn't Eros at all. It was just a mask he wore to pretend he was someone more confident than himself, someone bold enough to try and ignore the truth. Someone Victor would like better than slutty, boring, unconfident Yuuri.

And in the meanwhile, people would be abandoning them both, leaving Victor’s streams and unfollowing his accounts, while things went nowhere special. This was only ever going to be a short thing, something Yuuri could enjoy until Victor was tired of it.

This lie… this farce. It was sickening. And the truth was sitting heavy on his chest, just like poison in his heart.

Yuuri toweled off and dressed in a daze. He knew what needed to happen.

He called Victor first, not willing to wait. “Eroska!” Victor sounded so excited. “You were gorgeous. I'm so glad you-”

“We can't do this,” Yuuri said. He sat on the counter, face in his hand. With the other, he pressed the phone a little harder against his ear, as though it would keep Victor from hearing the tremors.

“What?”

“This… it isn't fair to you. I made a mistake. I never should have done any of this from the beginning, and every time I try to fix it, I just make it worse. I'm sorry I'm putting you through this nightmare. I'm sorry I'm dragging you down.”

“What? Eroska, no, you know it's not your fault this is happening,” Victor said. He sounded shocked. “You're definitely not dragging me down. Where is this coming from?”

“It isn't coming from anywhere. It's just the truth. And it's not fair for your career to suffer because of my actions.”

“You aren't saying what I think you're saying,” Victor breathed. His voice cracked.

“I'm saying we can't do this. We’re just not going to work. It's all been a lie. All along, I've been the wrong person for you, and you deserve better than me. So we're done, Victor.”

“Ero-”

Yuuri hung up the phone. It rang again, immediately, and a second time, and a third. He turned it off, closing his eyes. His head fell back against the foggy mirror, a pain clenching and unclenching in his chest.

This was better, because Victor was free. Victor didn't have to live the lie anymore.

Yuuri dressed slowly. The hollow feeling was just getting worse, the longer it sat on his chest. But Yuuri could be patient. Once Victor’s career recovered, that feeling would go away. He left the room when he was finally dressed, picking up the package. Phichit was in the kitchen, digging in the fridge, but looked out into the living room with concern on his face. Yuuri forced a smile.

“It's fine. Hey, what's this?” He picked up the box with his name. It was smaller than his splayed hand, and a little thicker than his thumb. It wasn't very heavy.

“Package for you,” Phichit said.

Yuuri frowned. He gave it a cautious shake. Silent. “I didn't order anything.”

Phichit kicked the fridge shut. He had a can of flavored sparkling water in hand. He popped the tab and walked over. “Had your name on it. Family send it?”

“It doesn't have a return address,” Yuuri said. He grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen and sliced the tape open on the top, pulling back the flaps. He spotted a glimpse of red inside, a little card sitting on top of it.

He heard a horrible, distant noise. It scraped up his throat and burned white hot in his eyes. His vision blurred, his breath came sharp and hard in his chest. The scratching in his throat cut off, and Yuuri realized the sound had stopped too.

Him. The screaming was him. The box hit the floor. Out spilled a puddle of crimson fabric, lingerie of some kind, and Phichit was shaking him. “Yuuri, Yuuri, what’s wrong! Oh my god, Yuuri, fuck, Yuuri-”

“How,” Yuuri croaked. His voice shattered. He was shaking violently, eyes blurring over with tears. “It’s- You said it was impossible. You said they wouldn’t find me.”

“What do you mean-” Phichit broke off, slowly turning his gaze to the package on the floor.

The card had fallen out beside it, where Phichit could see it: handwritten and signed with a heart.

 _To the beautiful Eros_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does Yuuri make Bad Decisions (tm)


	15. Before the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darkness draws closer. Yuuri hides, and Victor longs. Yuri gets fed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings in the end notes. Contain spoilers. 
> 
> Special thanks to Nyerus for her medical knowledge and helping make this so much ~~worse~~ better  <3

 Yuuri felt the scream trying to bubble past his lips once more. He barely held it back, leaving the sound like an aborted wheeze. He scraped the lingerie back into the box, the card and the fabric giving off small clouds of scent from an unknown alpha. Yuuri shoved the whole package into the garbage, his body shaking hard.

“Phichit,” Yuuri said unsteadily. “We can't post anything.”

“Yuuri, what's going on?” Phichit asked. His voice was shaking. “What can I do?”

It started with the website.

Yuuri couldn't breathe, the haze of heat and tears burning in his eyes as he jerked open his laptop and started to shut the site down. He took everything offline with a few clicks. He purged the video stores, deleted the accounts, did everything he could think of to wipe the site away and send it into oblivion.

He then threw every sex toy he owned into the box with the others, shoved his meager collection of lingerie over the top, and wedged it far under his bed.

“We should go on vacation,” Yuuri said with a mildly hysterical laugh. “How about backpacking through Europe? I hear the weather’s lovely this time of year. Let’s leave our cell phones behind and go on a trip.”

“Yuuri, we have finals in three weeks,” Phichit said. “And you know I can't leave my phone-” Yuuri clutched Phichit’s wrist, and the panic must have shown in his eyes, because Phichit paused. “Yuuri, calm down. This doesn't mean anything-”

“Doesn't mean anything? _Doesn't mean anything?_ ” Yuuri hissed. His voice was an octave higher than normal. “You're right, it doesn't mean anything, my secret identity is just compromised and someone knows where Eros lives. You know, you're right, it's no big deal-”

“Yuuri!” Phichit yelled. His voice cracked. He was shaking, too. “I know, okay. This is bad. But we can just call Victor, I'm sure he’ll know what to do-”

“No.” He broke away from Phichit and started to shove things into a bag. “No, we can't do that.”

Phichit circled around him. “He'd know how to deal with something like this, or at least maybe he'd know someone who-”

“We broke up!” Yuuri blurted. Shame burned in his cheeks. Phichit was speechless. “You heard me. We're done. It wasn't going to work. I couldn't… I thought I could keep him until he was done with me, but I was wrong. I'm not that strong. I had to let him go.” The sobs built deep in his chest, like a shaky, shuddery feeling. “I couldn't- I had to-”

Yuuri whipped his head away, not able to look Phichit in the eyes.

“Anyway,” he coughed. “You can't bother him with this. It… it doesn't matter to him. We can handle it. It's not his job to fix my problems.”

“Well we can't backpack through Europe,” Phichit said. “We have classes. And running isn't going to solve this. Give it time. All this person has got is a name and an address. You've got fans all over the world. They must be a million miles from here. I can ask Seung Gil if he's got any ideas how to dig around and maybe we can find out who sent it.”

Yuuri reluctantly nodded. His suitcase was open on his bed, with three shirts and some jeans sitting inside. Yuuri pulled them out and set them aside.

“Okay,” he said after a moment. He was still shaking badly, but a lot of the edge was starting to settle. Yuuri glanced at the clock. Five hours had passed since his show. Where had time gone? “Class… we have to be up tomorrow,” Yuuri said slowly.

Phichit nodded. “How about you get some sleep? We can go to class and think about this more when we both get home, alright?”

Yuuri took several long, shaky breaths before agreeing.

Sleep was hard to come by. Every time he'd get close to nodding off, another wave of panic would strike him, leaving him reeling well into the night. He was still a wreck by morning. He forced himself to class, looking like absolute horse shit. When he got back, it took all his force of will to turn his cell phone back on.

There were so many missed calls from Victor. So many text messages, all wondering what happened and begging Eros to call him. Yuuri felt the pit in his stomach grow heavier. He just wanted Eros. Not Yuuri. There was also a number he didn't recognize in his voice mail. Panic clutched at him. What if it was the stalker? What if the stalker knew more than just his name and address?

Yuuri deleted the message without listening.

They called again, and again the next day. YuurI, in a fit of nerves, finally pressed the voice mail, wondering just how fucked he really was. A female voice, vaguely familiar, came over the line. All his fears wiped away like a wave of a hand. It was just the dance studio checking on his reservation for Friday. He couldn't bring himself to admit he wouldn't be making it. It was too much like admitting defeat, and defeat disgusted him. Yuuri deleted the message.

He turned on one of Victor’s old shows, and reminded himself of why he was doing this. Because returning Aria to his old glory was worth the pain.

Thursday’s classes passed, and Friday’s. Leaving the house made a shudder of nerves rip through him, had him glancing behind his back. Paranoia kept him on edge. Any one of these people could know his identity. “It could be some creepy alpha in Hoboken,” Phichit said as they walked home.

“Or they could be in Detroit right now,” Yuuri hissed. “We have no idea and I just have to sit here waiting for something to happen.”

“Seung Gil inspected everything. No one got into our system. We could always take this to the police.”

“And tell them what? I got a package in the mail addressed to my secret porn star name?”

“That you're receiving unsolicited mail and fear for your safety,” Phichit said firmly.

“They won't take us seriously,” Yuuri said. “It's fine. We can handle it. Just us. No outside involvement. No one else needs to be bothered by this.”

Phichit pressed his lips tight together and finally nodded, though he looked pained. “Okay, Yuuri.”

On Friday, Yuuri sat down with his laptop in his lap, Victor’s site pulled up, and his breath caught on his lips. The viewer count was so low. It ticked up slowly, but not fast enough for Yuuri’s taste. His knuckles were white as he waited. His phone rang.

Yuuri hesitated, finger hovering over the answer button. Victor still had no profile picture. He never would. Yuuri hit ‘reject’.

The show came online.

Victor greeted his viewers, as easy as breathing. That familiar pang struck his chest, knocking the air from Yuuri’s lungs. Yuuri watched as Victor smiled. Victor was beautiful, truly, heartbreakingly beautiful in a way that Yuuri could never be, or even hope to attain.

Everything played out like normal: Victor teased his fans warmly, his eyes sparkling and blue. He slowly stripped, like a tease for a lover. He took his heavy cock in hand and started to stroke, leaning back against the headboard. Yuuri was transfixed at the sight, a little trail of drool slicking out the corner of his lips.

His hand stuffed down his joggers and started to jerk himself slowly, matching the little rolls of Victor’s thrusts with the downstroke of his palm. He closed his eyes. Victor’s breathy moans filled the air, artificial through the speakers. He’d heard the real thing once. Nothing else would ever compare. But he’d never hear its like again.

And the proof was right there. Victor was fine, smiling like always. Victor was better off alone, better off free as Aria. The comments agreed, blinking on the side, more than a few noticing the lack of response to Eros’s previous show.

Something hot and wet leaked down Yuuri’s cheek. He slipped a finger inside himself. The sound from his lips might have been a choked sob or a moan. It didn’t matter. Victor was free. Victor was free at last and no longer tied down to Eros, and Victor was letting the pleasure roll over him with every one of those distorted moans.

It took longer than Yuuri could remember it ever taking, but Victor’s smile when he came was exquisite. Those blue eyes were boring holes into the camera, like they could see Yuuri through them. Yuuri’s sobs built louder in his chest at that beautiful smile, and his hand went wild, palming frantically over his length while his fingers scissored himself open.

He was crying while he came, remembering Victor inside him, his lips on his skin, as Victor smiled into the camera, looking so perfect and tragic. Yuuri felt broken.

Of course Victor was fine.

He fell back onto his bed with the come drying tacky on his stomach and let his eyes fall closed. Everything felt numb now. Maybe one day he’d even be okay with this.

* * *

Two weeks later, another package waited for Yuuri in the mailbox: addressed to ‘Yuuri Katsuki’, no return address in sight.

Yuuri wanted to scream. He ripped at the box, clawing it open with his nails. A noxious stench poured out. A scent rag, stained with come, was joined by a letter asking if he planned to return to his show again.

Yuuri threw it all into the sink and burned it in a panic.

Phichit asked what the burnt smell was when he came home. Yuuri didn’t mind blaming it on a cooking mishap. Phichit was too distracted by his exams to think about it much beyond that. Yuuri was perfectly okay with that. He threw himself into his studies, preparing for finals next week.

It came with a hollow feeling.

He was almost done, a week from being finished. After this, he’d be one semester from graduation. Summer felt like a hollow promise. Yuuri buried his nose in his textbooks and tried to pretend he had better things to do when he was finally free.

* * *

It started while sitting a final. He’d forgotten to turn his ringer off, so it buzzed loudly in the middle of the test. Frantic, Yuuri fumbled to silence it and finish the final questions. Time ticked out, and Yuuri was so close to finished. 

Time ran out seconds before he could make the last marks on his paper. Ugh. Seconds too late. He huffed as he turned in his exam, feeling irritable at whoever had distracted him those precious seconds. He started to dig his phone out as he walked home. It rang again before he could look. Yuuri flinched. Yurio. He tried to shove his phone back in his pocket but it just kept ringing. A rapidfire series of texts popped up.

**Received:** HEY

**Received:** DONT IGNORE ME

**Received:** ANSWER UR PHONE

It rang again. Then again immediately after. Yuuri massaged his temples.

**Received:** FUCKING

**Received:** FUCKING FUCKER

**Received:** ANSWER

**Received:** THE FUCKING

**Received:** PHONE

“What?” Yuuri snapped into the phone.

“This is your fault,” Yurio hissed. “What the fuck have you done? Where the fuck are you, and why are your shows off, and why aren’t you answering your fucking phone?” Without taking a breath, he pressed on. “And why the everloving FUCK is Victor passed out on my couch, it’s fucking noon and I had to find him stumbling drunk down the street ready to get mugged and _why the fuck is he so fucking insistent it’s not your fault?_  What the FUCK is going on?”

Yuuri recovered quickly, and cleared his throat. “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to Victor in almost a month. We broke up.”

Yurio was speechless. Yuuri could almost hear his mouth opening and closing in shock. “What- what the FUCKING FUCK, EROS. You idiots were fucking happy for some godforsaken reason what the fuck even happened?”

Yuuri felt himself getting shaky. “We barely know each other. And Victor deserves better than this.”

“You think that idiot deserves better? Shit, maybe you two do deserve each other. Whatever. Victor is not my problem. Neither are you. Care to explain why the fuck you decided to up and vanish?” Yurio snapped.

“I can disappear if I want to-”

“The fuck you can. From everyone else maybe. But you're not disappearing from me-”

Yuuri paused with his keys in hand. The apartment door was unlocked already. Phichit wasn't supposed to be home for hours. His blood ran ice cold as he slowly opened the door.

A noxious, horrible scent poured out of the apartment, aroused alpha coming off every surface inside. Everything was scent marked, thoroughly and deeply. On the entry table was a bouquet flowers, bright red and dusky black tulips, nestled in baby’s breath.

Yuuri’s phone fell from his hand, clattering to the floor. He ran.

* * *

Yuri screamed into the phone, but there was nothing on the other end. No response, not even breathing, no indication that anyone was on the other line. “Did you fucking mute me Eros, I swear I'll end your fucking life-”

“What's with all the screaming?” Victor mumbled. His eyes were bloodshot and he held his head like he was hungover. Fucker better be hungover.

“What the fuck, Victor,” Yuri said. He jabbed his thumb on the end call button. He'd deal with Eros later.

“Can you shut your mouth for five minutes,” Victor bit out.

“Sorry, princess, you're not the one who's had to deal with your sorry ass crying in their apartment till 5 AM. First you act like, I don't know, Eros never existed, and then I find you stumbling through the streets crying about how no one loves you except your dog. Which by the way is true, good job figuring that one out by yourself. Gold star. And then I find out Eros vanished off the face of the earth the exact same time you started pretending he isn't on the same planet.” Yuri jabbed a finger into Victor’s chest. “I want fucking answers.”

Victor blinked at him. He fell back onto the couch and rolled over. “I don't know what you're talking about,” he said.

Yuri dropped his head into his hands and growled. He could smell lovesick alpha all over his fucking apartment thanks to Victor. The longing was going to make him throw up, if he didn't die from the stench first.

“Is this why you've been acting funny?” Yuri spat. Victor ignored him. “You're disgusting. No wonder that pig doesn't want you. Whatever you did, you've ruined camming for him and you're acting just like every other stupid, greedy, entitled alpha out there thirsting after his ass. No wonder he's hiding.”

Victor still said nothing. Yuuri noticed his fist clench tightly. Victor’s arm was trembling with the force of it. Smelling weakness, Yuri picked at the chink in Victor’s perfect ass armor.

“You thought you were special, didn't you? But obviously you don't care about him as much as you like to think. God knows if my boyfriend up and vanished on me I'd make some kind of attempt to find him-”

“Eros doesn't want that,” Victor breathed. His voice cracked. “You think I haven't considered it?” Victor sat up. His eyes were bloodshot and Yuri almost took a step back. Victor looked like _shit_.

“It's not _suspicious_ to you? Dropping off the face of the earth? Ignoring us?”

“What do you care?” Victor said.

Yuri’s lip curled angrily. “I care when it ends with you on my fucking sofa. Sort your shit out and go home to your stupid ass dog.”

“What, not even coffee before I leave?” Victor asked, forcing himself to his feet. He stumbled. “Eggs?” He clutched his head, probably suffering a wicked hangover. He reeked of booze still. Yuri was never going to get the smell out of his couch.

“Fuck off,” Yuri said. He hid the coffee behind a stack of games. Victor didn't fucking deserve it.

Yuri stomped off, settling in front of his computer with a huff. Something was fucking going on. Eros wasn't going to just get away with shit like this. Thought he could bail on everyone? Fat chance.

Yuri waited until Victor finally left to pull up his email and sign out. He hit the login button. The first blank, he keyed in Victor’s email. The second, he stared at for long seconds.

“What would that idiot make his password,” Yuri muttered. “Hm. Let me guess.” He typed in ‘Makkachin’. “Idiot,” Yuri muttered, as the page quickly loaded. He scrolled quickly through the inbox. Most of the messages were flagged as read, carefully sorted into filtered sub boxes.

Yuri did a quick search. Bingo. An airline email, same company Eros had arrived on. Unopened. Yuri double clicked it. It was all laid out: the flight information, the destination, and, most importantly, where the flight was coming from.

A non-stop flight from Detroit. That was where Yuri needed to go. He slid his mouse to the ‘X’ and paused.

His eyes skated down past where the booking info was stored, just a few scrolls down. Curiosity burned. It was right there, right underneath the “Passenger Information” header.

Eros’s real legal name.

It was sitting there, so tempting, like the apple of Eden. Eros’s deepest, darkest secret. Something he didn't even tell Victor. Something he protected as closely as his own life.

Yuri scrolled.

He force closed the page before he could read anything. “Fuck,” he hissed. Guilt was eating him alive. Eros was a conceited asshole but Yurio was better than that.

He huffed, clicking over to the booking website. He didn't need a handicap. He'd find Eros without it. Couldn't be that fucking hard to find a male omega in Detroit who stood out as much as Eros. Cheapest flight was two days away. Yuri clicked buy, and folded his arms across his chest.

Eros was going to regret blowing him off.  

* * *

The police had already taken his statement and those of his neighbors. There wasn’t much else they could do.

They took a few fingerprints, asked a few questions, but there wasn’t anything missing as far as Yuuri could see. The TV had been left on the wall, their laptops undisturbed. Aside from the heavy scent painting the couches and walls, sinking into the carpet, it was exactly as they left it. Phichit was talking to the police now. Seung Gil and Guang Hong stood beside Yuuri, watching as the cops finished their business. Yuuri was trembling faintly. 

“It’s so scary,” Guang Hong said, shivering. “At least they didn’t take anything.”

“But why would they break in and not take anything? Are you sure you looked thoroughly?” Seung Gil said. “Maybe they took something else. It doesn’t add up.”

“What would they have taken?” Guang Hong asked. “Everything valuable is still here.”

“I haven’t checked my room very well,” Yuuri said with a sinking heart.

He had known it. He'd suspected all along, but being right felt so much worse than Yuuri could have ever imagined. The stalker was here, in Detroit, and Phichit was wrong, Phichit was completely wrong, he wasn’t on the other side of the world at all. Yuuri was shaking so hard he almost couldn’t stand. If someone wanted to make him miserable, they didn’t have to take his laptop or his television. There were much worse things they could take. 

He took a step, then paused. “I need to check my room. Alone, please,” he added, when Guang Hong started to follow.

Yuuri crept past the police, covering his nose. It made him want to throw up, so potent that even the betas in the room could smell the stench. It only got worse, the closer he got to his bedroom. His stomach tried to revolt.

It was like walking on glass, passing the familiar hallways. Someone had violated the sanctity of the apartment and painted it with the sour stench of lust and dominance. Everything felt so subtly different from before, like some dark mirror reflecting everything back just a shade off or a music box just a bit out of key.

His eyes burned. He fell to his knees beside the bed, shaken.

The floor was never that dirty. Yuuri wasn't really a messy person, but he still wasn’t always 100% on top of the laundry on his floors. Often a stray shirt or pair of boxers might litter the floor. It certainly had been a little cluttery when he'd left. 

Except now, the floor was spotless, picked clean of all the dirty laundry. The joggers Yuuri had worn while watching Victor’s show had been tossed in the corner to be thrown into the next load of laundry. Gone, now. The worn briefs, gone. The sweats, the t-shirts. 

Nowhere was safe.

The broken locks could be replaced, but the feeling of security never could. Yuuri wasn’t just found, the stalker was here, and nowhere would ever be safe again, least of all the one place Yuuri thought he could always depend on. 

“Yuuri, was anything taken from- hey, Yuuri, you alright?” Phichit asked, kneeling beside Yuuri. He was shaken up too, but he wasn’t Yuuri. He wasn’t the one so rattled by this that he couldn’t even form two words, that he couldn’t pull himself out of his own head.

Everything was like listening through cotton, looking through fog. “He’s here,” Yuuri rasped. He licked his lips and tried to center himself. “Oh god, Phichit, we can’t- it’s not safe here-” Yuuri crumpled inwards, staring at his floors. He felt untethered. 

“It’s not,” he agreed. “I talked to the landlord, they’ll be putting in new locks and checking the security cameras, and the police are going to try and catch this guy. Okay, Yuuri? But until then, Seung Gil and Guang Hong said we could steal their couches for a few nights.”

“And if they don’t find him?” Yuuri snapped, suddenly mad. “We can’t stay with Seung Gil and Guang Hong forever. Even if the locks are replaced, who’s to say this monster doesn’t do it again while we’re here? What’s going to happen then?”

“Yuuri, calm down, we-”

“I can’t calm down!” Yuuri said. “I’m _terrified_. What more does he want from us? What more could he want from _me?_ ” Yuuri clutched his head and staggered back. It was the cruelest joke. Yuuri wanted the attention, craved it, needed it, but the idea of someone going to these lengths for him was so repulsive.

It felt fake. Except the reek of horny alpha was unmistakable, and there was no nightmare that could ever have as deep a spine-chilling feeling as seeing his clothing stolen, replaced by the mockery that was the bouquet.

Yuuri spotted another scent rag on his desk beside a few more tulips.

He sprinted to the bathroom and emptied his stomach into the toilet. 

* * *

Yuri peered left and right, pulling the facemask up over his face with a little scowl. His fans were everywhere. Some were like dogs, yipping loudly and chasing his heels, never giving him a chance to breathe, while others were notorious vultures who stayed back and circled, waiting for something they could photograph and post online.

He couldn't afford to deal with either of them today. He wasn't going to tip off Victor. He grabbed his leopard print suitcase and stalked toward the gate, grumbling under his breath.

Eros thought he could piss off like that? They were supposed to do another gaming stream. Instead, he was ignoring Yuri’s calls and pretending all of them didn't exist. Yuri was going to kick some sense into that damned omega's skull.

Yuri crashed.

“What the fuck?” he spat, glancing up at the person who couldn't fucking pay attention to where they were going. “Fucking- Victor?” he sputtered.

A head of white hair was hidden under a shitty beany and Victor had on a large pair of sunglasses to match the incognito disguise.

“Yuri? What are you doing here?”

“What am I- what the fuck are you doing here?” he hissed.

Victor waved a scrap of paper. It looked like packaging with a shipping label on it. “You're right. Eros… I know he wanted to keep his hometown quiet, but this is… suspicious. His twitter, his Instagram, they haven't been touched in weeks. His site is down. If something is going on…”

“What, you're going to fix it?” Yuri said snidely.

“At least try and be there for him,” Victor fired back. “Eros gets trapped in his own head. He's too proud to admit something is wrong.”

Yuri narrowed his eyes. “Again, what are you going to do, fix him? It's not like you to care about other people. You don't care. You've never cared. It's always the all-about-Victor show. And you always give up when it's hard and people don't do things right.”

“Eros is different,” Victor said.

Yuri snorted. “Forgive me if I don't believe you're not still thinking with your dick.”

“I don't see why it should matter to you. Why _do_ you care Yuri? You never said why you were here.”

“I can book a fucking flight if I want to, and I don't need the third degree from you of all people”

Victor slowly smirked. God, Yuri _hated_ that fucking grin. “Oh, is that so? All right. Then what flight are you getting on, at least? What gate are you headed to? Maybe we can walk together.”

Same gate, if Yuri had to hazard a guess. He growled under his breath. What were the fucking odds. Yuri turned and stalked off, yanking his suitcase behind him.

Predictably, Victor followed him. Yuri let out an irritated sigh. At least Victor never flew anything less than first class, so their odds of seating anywhere near each other was slim.

He glared over his shoulder, expecting Victor’s sly smile. He was surprised to see Victor’s face was sullen and serious. “What’s wrong with you?”

“You found Eros?” Victor asked.

No sense in lying. "Yeah.”

“I had the only copy of his home address,” Victor said. He held up the shipping label, showing an address in Michigan. There was no name on it.

“You need a better password on your email.”

Victor stopped dead in his tracks. He looked scared. “You- you opened the email?” he breathed.

“Yeah. So? I needed a location. Only thing I could think of,” Yuri said.

“Did you…” Victor paused, the words catching on his tongue. “Did you see his name?”

Yuri narrowed his eyes. The sudden hollow look on Victor’s face was actually a little terrifying. His eyes were wide and lost, scared. Yuri looked away quickly. “I didn’t look, okay. I don’t need a handicap to find Eros. Plus I don’t give a shit what his name is,” he added quickly. “That asshole owes me a let’s play. His legal name doesn’t factor into that.”

Victor still looked sick.

“Moron,” Yuri muttered.

Eros was an irritating flake who couldn’t even share his name with his boyfriend, let alone deal with shit. No wonder he and Victor were so perfect for each other.

Whatever. They had a flight to catch, and Yuri was going to ditch Victor at the soonest possibility.

* * *

Two days had passed like pulling teeth.

Yuuri was going _crazy._ The only time he'd left the house was to take his last final exam, and he spent the entire time jittering so badly he probably bombed the entire thing.

But staying trapped in a two-bedroom apartment with the three betas was driving him mad. There was never a moment of being alone, never a free second not spent with Seung Gil muttering to himself while he played EVE or Guang Hong playing Leo De La Iglesia’s music a shade too loudly, reminding Yuri painfully of that night he spent in the dance club with Victor.

But leaving wasn't an option either. Every step he took outside the door made him feel uneasy, unsettled, like someone was watching him. Every second was spent looking over his shoulder, wondering if he was being followed. Wondering if his stalker, whoever it was, was breathing down his neck at this very moment.

There was nothing for him to do but pace anxiously up and down the length of the hallway, folding his hands nervously over and over again and dwelling on every last possibility while his stomach churned. The nervous energy was too much.

“Got any chips?" he asked suddenly. "I'm hungry for some chips, I think."

“No,” Seung Gil said.

Yuuri grabbed his wallet. "I'm going to go get some, be back soon.”

Seung Gil waved him off. He was too engrossed in his game to care either way, not that Yuuri fully understood exactly what was going on. The game looks more like spreadsheets than anything meaningful, but who was he to judge?

He felt that sick feeling inside of him as he walked the whole way to the store, but he knew he was just being irrational. He knew it was all in his head. He wasn't going to be found this easily. No one knew the connection between Eros and these two betas.

Still. It didn't hurt to be safe. He glanced at the time as he left. A bit past three in the afternoon. Maybe he should make sure he walked quickly and got back before four, when things started to pick up.

He frowned at his phone. Low battery. He put it on airplane mode to conserve what little was left and walked a bit faster.

He was already out here. He wasn't turning back now.

He purchased a few different flavors. Indecision lingered for all of ten seconds before he realized anyone could be looking for him. Suddenly grabbing a bag, he decided the flavor didn’t matter. Seung Gil wouldn’t eat them anyway, and Guang Hong and Phichit ate anything.

He felt eyes on him. He buried his attention in his phone, trying to mask his eyes skating back the way he’d come. He didn’t see anyone, didn’t smell a sudden rush of alpha scent. The light on his screen winked out.

“Shit,” he breathed.

His heart pounded loudly in his ears. He practically threw the money at the cashier, abandoning the change and hurrying out the doors. He couldn’t breathe. Air was trapped in his throat, lodged tight like a rock against his windpipe. He was wheezing. Everything was spinning.

Home, he needed to get home, needed to get out of public, someone was going to see him, someone would smell terrified omega thick in the air and know he was Eros, they'd put two and two together and someone would figure things out.

His breath was harsh through his teeth as he pounded at the apartment door, frantic and looking back. Was he followed? He wasn't followed was he?

“Let me in, let me in,” he muttered.

The door opened. Seung Gil narrowed his eyes and turned back without a word. Yuuri hung his head, trying to hide how badly he was shaken.

What a failure, panicking just from being outside. Fuck, this was getting to him. He threw his phone on the charger, locked himself in the bathroom, and buried his head in his hands as he tried to forget.

But he wasn’t home. Home was unsafe. The new locks would be installed within the next few days, more cameras put up. The videos weren’t much use, but the local news had aired them anyway.

But that wouldn’t stop the stalker from coming back. It wouldn’t stop the stalker from sending him packages. It wouldn’t take back his secret, because someone out there _knew_. Someone Yuuri didn’t know and didn’t trust knew his worst secret and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

It was destroying him.

* * *

 Yuuri was hiding in the bathroom again.

He’d been doing it more and more since yesterday. Going outside didn’t satisfy his need to escape. It only made him feel more trapped than before. Yuuri suspected it was how animals in a zoo felt.

The sick feeling refused to abate. He’d dry heaved more than once since coming home from the store. Too much stress, he knew. But there was nothing on his stomach right now, so there was nothing to come up.

It left him dizzy and tired.

He hadn’t told Phichit what had happened, though he suspected Phichit knew anyway. Still, Yuuri knew Phichit didn’t feel the same way as Yuuri, and he didn’t expect Phichit to try and stay cooped up the way Yuuri kept himself.

It was just Yuuri and Guang Hong at the moment. Seung Gil was buying groceries and Phichit was studying with a few other friends. Guang Hong had a test tomorrow morning too, but he was sprawled out on the couch, buried under a pile of books as tall as himself and plugged into a pair of headphones blaring Leo’s music.

Yuuri took a long, deep breath. He heard something heavy drop and sighed. Guang Hong kept knocking the tower of his books over. This had to be the third time today. He stood and stretched. He couldn’t hide in here any longer. He needed to grab some food or something. Starving himself wasn’t going to fix anything, even if his stomach felt like rioting.

He stepped out of the bathroom. The room was dark. “Guang Hong?” he called out. He moved into the living room. There was a faint chemical smell in the room. Yuuri wrinkled his nose. The tower of books was still standing tall, undisturbed. Guang Hong was passed out on the couch. Yuuri smiled a little.

He looked so young in his sleep. Guang Hong was just a sophomore this year, but he looked younger, especially while napping. “Guang Hong,” he whispered. He crouched beside him and shook his shoulder gently. “You said to wake you up if you passed out.”

Guang Hong didn’t stir. Yuuri tilted his head. Guang Hong was a feather-light sleeper. He always wore earplugs to sleep.

“Guang Hong?” Yuuri asked. “Are you- mmph!” Something came down around his head, slipping between his lips and pulling tight. A rubber ball held his mouth open and gagged, tight to his head. Hands caught his wrists, wrenching them back behind him painfully. Yuuri screamed into the gag and fought. Something struck the back of his knee hard, a foot or a knee, making his legs crumple under his own weight.

Yuuri wasn’t weak. He was actually quite strong, though he didn’t look it. He could lift Phichit without issue and had gotten more than one appreciative nod at the gym when he was in the weights area.

But the alpha made him feel like nothing, especially when the world was swirling around him and his stomach revolted. A bit of the alpha’s disgustingly familiar scent leaked through the heavy dose of scent blockers. Yuuri retched, blindly throwing elbows back.

Hunger made him weak. He was manhandled to the floor, a knee between his shoulders. He flailed wildly, trying to free his mouth. Swears spilled freely from his lips, and he tried to scream. A needle slid into the side of his neck.

“Shhhh,” a voice soothed, and the alpha scent deepened through the chemical haze. Tears slipped down Yuuri’s cheeks. “Relax, you’ll be asleep soon enough.” The alpha held him there, trapped, as he depressed the plunger on the needle.

Yuuri screamed. Three seconds passed like three hours, but he couldn't jerk free from the man’s knee on his spine, couldn't wrench his arms loose. The carpet was rough on his cheek. His back hurt from the pressure on it.

The needle was pulled from his neck. It took only a few seconds for a strange, sluggish feeling to start to creep over him.

“Let's give that a minute or two to kick in, shall we?” the alpha said, stepping off Yuuri and straightening up. Yuuri rose up, but the world was growing hazier, dizziness overtaking him.

He tried to stand, but his legs fell out from underneath him. He didn't realize he'd crashed to the floor until he saw everything was sideways. His hands clawed uselessly at the gag. The masked alpha stood above him, and Yuuri could only stare, feeling dazed, his mind working so slowly. Everything was dreamlike and distant.

“Just a tranquilizer, hopefully not too much. I had to guess the amount,” the alpha explained with a cruelly patient smile. It was curiously muffled. The voice drifted away. Yuuri felt hands under his knees and back, hefting him up. He pushed feebly, but his body wouldn't respond.

Everything shuddered. Then there was only darkness.

* * *

The flight was draining, but Yuri didn’t feel like stopping. He rushed off the plane, bulling past people to grab his shit and go. Victor was leaning beside baggage claim.

“You,” Yuri hissed.

“Yuri, how did you get ahold of Eros?”

“Why?” Yuri asked with narrowed eyes. He took in the exhausted, rumpled look, Victor’s messy hair and wrinkled clothes. He had his phone out.

Yuri grumbled a little. “I called him a shit ton of times in a row. Eventually he picked up. Didn’t really work though. He hung up on me.”

“I don’t feel right being here without at least telling Eros.”

“Put that away. Let’s just hunt him down. You have the address, right? Tell him when you see him. I know I’m going to be giving him a piece of my mind,” Yuri growled, cracking his knuckles. He saw his bag pass by, and he snatched it up.

Victor shook his head, looking wary. “We can at least give Phichit a heads up, make sure they’re home before we drop by unannounced.”

“Ugh,” Yuri spat. “Sure, give them a heads up so Eros can run. Then we’ll never talk to him.”

Victor’s lips pressed into a thin line, but he was already pressing the phone to his ear. He paused, then gestured Yuri away from the baggage claim. He put it on speaker in a slightly quieter area.

“Victor?” Phichit’s voice sounded surprised. “What’s up? Kind of busy right now.”

“We need to talk to Eros. Please, can you tell him to answer his phone?” Victor asked.

“I don’t know,” Phichit said. “I don’t think he really wants-”

“I don’t give a shit what he wants, we’re fucking here in Detroit and we’re going to talk to him,” Yuri hissed into the phone. “If he doesn’t want to give us his name, fucking- fucking, whatever. I don’t care about that. I don’t know about Victor, but I’m not leaving until I slap some sense into that idiot. I flew for fucking hours to get here. I’ve come too far to turn back. So either tell me where to find him, or I’m asking around about where to find the only fucking japanese male omega in this fucking city.”

Phichit was quiet.

“I’m sorry about him,” Victor said. “We weren’t going to do that-”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll call him. Where are you at? I’ll meet up with you at least,” Phichit said.

Victor let out a breath of air and smiled. “Thanks, Phichit. I know this is sudden.”

“You’re going to explain to me why you’re here, though,” Phichit said, and he sounded almost dangerous. Yuri squinted at the phone. He could respect that. “How and why.”

“Of course,” Victor said.

“Whipped,” Yuri hissed.

Victor waved him off. “Thank you, really.”

Phichit gave them an address. They found an uber to get them there, sitting in silence for much of the way. Their driver put on music. It didn't help the awkward atmosphere in the back of the car, and Yuri didn't feel like making it better. This was probably Victor's fault anyway. Not that Eros was totally innocent in the situation, either. 

“He’s not going to want to talk to us,” Yuri said. “Let’s be real, he’s probably booking it to the Canadian border right now. Coward.”

“Have some faith, Yuri,” Victor said. He was wringing the end of his shirt through his hands. It made him look a lot less confident than he sounded.

Victor’s phone rang. He launched himself at it pathetically, pausing when he saw it was just Phichit. “Hello? Hold on, putting you on speaker,” he said. “Did you get ahold of Eros?”

There was a muffled sob. Yuri sat up straighter, confused as Phichit sucked in a breath. “He’s gone.”

Yuri swore. “I fucking told you he was gonna run-”

“He didn’t run!” Phichit shouted. The sobs grew worse, broken and shattered over the tinny speaker. Yuri shifted uneasily in the seat. “Someone _took_ him. He’s _gone_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: stalking, abductions, involuntary tranquilization


	16. The Longest Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the longest night of their lives...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to say a huuuuge thank you to everyone who commented, kudos'ed, bookmarked, and everything else. I really appreciate everyone sticking with me over nearly an entire year. Thank you, everyone, so so much.
> 
> I also want to thank Doctor vampire space princess Nyerus for helping me with all the medical-related info. You're the beesssttttt. 
> 
> **Trigger Warning: please be aware that this chapter may contain potentially upsetting material relating to abduction. Please read the tags and proceed with caution.**

Phichit gave them a new address.

Yuri was stunned into silence, for once in his life. It had taken Victor to choke out the new destination to their driver, almost stunned to silence himself.

Taken. Abducted. Kidnapped. None of the words felt real. Victor was trapped in a daze. He sat back and let them roll over him. They all meant the same thing, in the end. Victor was too late and Eros was gone.

They pulled up to a cozy-looking apartment complex. The place was swarming with the police, giving a cold, painful reality to their arrival. An alpha officer with dark eyes motioned for them to pause before they could get close. “Sorry, this area is closed off. Do you live here?”

“No, but I'm supposed to meet someone. Is there-”

“Victor!” Phichit yelled. He was running down the sidewalk, close to out of breath, and turned to the cop. “He’s with us. He might be able to help us. Let him upstairs. He's the boyfriend I told you about.”

The officer eyed him, but stepped aside.

Victor walked past, and Yuri hurried after him.

“Boyfriend?” Victor whispered, unable to deny the way his heart began to race a little just at the thought. Phichit led them to the elevator up.

“I said you'd know his scent better than I could. All of us here are betas. If there's something that could help, we can't smell it... He's had a stalker for a few weeks,” Phichit admitted, halting and choked. “We thought… I thought… that at least it would be someone far away. We only got things in the mail… at first.”

“At first?” Yuri said, the first thing Victor had heard from his mouth in ages.

“Yeah…” Phichit dropped his head into his hands. He sounded like a broken man. “Then someone broke into our apartment and covered everything in their scent. Even I could smell it... it was horrible. Eros almost passed out from it, he said it was on everything we owned. And I thought… maybe we could hide him. Even if Eros didn’t want the police involved, maybe we could at least keep him somewhere people wouldn’t mess with him.”

“You should have gone somewhere else,” Yuri hissed. “Why did you stay in town?”

“We had finals!” Phichit said. “What did you want me to do? Eros didn’t want to miss his tests any more than I do, and we agreed that we’d keep a low profile until the week was over. And our friends were willing to help us out and give us a place to stay until the week ended. We thought…”

Phichit shook his head. His eyes were glittering.

“It doesn’t matter. This one, over here.”

He gestured towards an open door. The stench rolled out, chemically laced with scent neutralizing sprays. Under the artificiality, Victor could smell the fear. It made up a thick undercurrent, rotten and mingling sourly with something like satisfaction.

A low growl built in the back of his throat before he could stop it, his jaw clenching. “I smell it,” Victor hissed. The hairs on the back of his neck rose.

“It reeks,” Yuri agreed, making a sour face.

There was satisfaction, so much of it that Victor wanted to punch a wall. Foreign anger surged through him. He was mad, so furious that his body was shaking with it. “How long?” he said. “How long was this bastard following Eros?” He sniffed the air, following the scent to the living room. There was a bit of blood on the couch, not the stalker’s or Eros’s. Fresh, though, barely dried.

“A few weeks is all,” Phichit whispered. “Three, maybe?”

“What’s this?”

“Guang Hong’s blood. A friend of ours. He lives here, let us stay. The stalker hit him pretty hard over the head. Police said they think the stalker expected Eros to be alone and panicked. He’s got a pretty nasty concussion, but he’ll be okay. Do you smell anything?”

Victor closed his eyes and tried to focus. He heard a faint scratching against one of the bedroom doors. A small whimper. Victor winced. It sounded like Vicchan.

“Mostly, I just smell cheap scent blockers, and a lot of them. Other than that… Eros was scared. Angry. He probably tried to fight. He’s strong, how come he didn’t get away? Surely he couldn’t have been overpowered so easily,” Victor said.

“I don’t think he was eating well the last few days. Wasn’t drinking much either. He looked really pale. I was going to try and bring him katsudon tonight, hoping maybe he’d eat _something_ , he never turns down katsudon.”

Phichit was shaking. He shook his head.

“Sorry I just… I’ll go tell the cops what you smelled. Maybe it’ll help…” Phichit vanished out the door, slouched and curling inwards on himself as he walked.

“Fuck, he looks like shit,” Yuri said. His voice was a little rough and raspy.

He was right, though. Phichit’s eyeliner was smudged, his hair a mess from being run through so many times. Victor had never seen Phichit looking less than perfect, even when nursing a wicked hangover.

“They should have called,” Victor muttered. “Maybe we could have figured something out. They should have at least gone to the police sooner. Now Eros is…”

Victor straightened his shoulders up, unwilling to show just how deeply the sudden thought cut him.

“Eros is such an idiot,” Yuri hissed. “He should have fought harder, he could have gotten away. Eros could fucking bench me, how could he not escape from some shithead alpha who probably sits on his laptop all day jerking off to porn?”

“We don’t know anything,” Victor said, shaking his head. He had to keep his head up, keep his voice steady. He couldn’t afford to think about how alone Eros was right now, how scared, how completely at the mercy of the fucker that took him he might be.

Eros was prideful and anxious, stubborn and strong. He could very well get himself killed if he wasn’t careful. All it would take was one wrong word, something to piss the kidnapper off, and Eros could… he could…

Victor touched his cheeks and found them wet. He quickly swiped the moisture away, shaking his head. He couldn’t show weakness, especially not now, when things were at their worst. He forced a facade of calm.

The scratching at the door got worse, and Victor glanced left and right before opening the door. It led to a bedroom, neat as a pin, with an elaborate multi-monitor computer setup. A large husky looked up from the bed, while a small, brown poodle came bolting out through the gap.

Vicchan.

He whimpered and barked, circling Victor’s legs. “I’m sorry, boy,” Victor murmured. His eyes burned as he scooped the toy poodle up into his arms. Vicchan licked Victor’s hand, agitated. Victor pet the poodle, feeling it shake in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Eros will come back, I know he will.”

He heard someone approach behind him, a beta without pheromones dripping from their scent.

“Who are you?” Yuri spat.

“Who are you?” the man replied coolly. He was pale. His hair was black with the slightest wave to it, his eyes cold and dark as he studied Victor.

“I’m with Phichit. I’m-” Victor broke off. “A friend,” he finished lamely. “Are you one of the people who lives here?”

“Yes. Now leave. Phichit may have invited you in, but I haven’t, and I’ve had enough of strangers going in and out of my apartment today,” the man said, plucking Vicchan out of Victor’s arms. Victor and Yuri had barely stepped through the doorway when it slammed shut behind them.

“Well he was pleasant,” Yuri grumbled.

“Let’s… find Phichit again,” Victor said. They headed back downstairs, eventually finding Phichit deep in conference with a couple of police officers who remained behind. All but one of the cars had cleared out since Victor had arrived.

Yuri was about to charge forward, when Victor grabbed his sleeve. “What?” Yuri snapped.

“I was thinking… While we're here, what if someone says Eros’s name in front of us? Someone who doesn't know we don't know?” Victor rubbed his thumbs anxiously over his knuckles, and tried to force himself to stop the second he noticed.

“Fuck,” Yuri breathed. His shoulders visibly dropped. “Look, whatever happens, happens. Eros should have told us sooner, and not now that shit is going down. So if we find out this way, that's his fault.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “The only ones who would say it are the police, right?”

“And if they have to take Eros to the hospital?”

Yuri visibly paled. “It won't come to that… will it?” he asked. He huffed, and the soft look on his face hardened. “Then I won't fuckin look, it's not that hard. It's usually written down somewhere right? Just don't look. You've got at least a shred of self control somewhere in that fat head of yours, right?”

Victor smiled. His chest hurt. Phichit came over to them a few minutes later. His head was hanging low. “They've got more cameras here. That's part of why Seung Gil and Guang Hong offered to let us stay here.”

“Is one of them that absolutely _charming_ bastard upstairs?” Yuri growled.

Phichit smiled, but it was one of those pained things done when someone didn't want to really smile at all. “Seung Gil isn't the friendliest of people on a good day. And he's had a really long night. That fucker that took Yu- Eros, he hit Guang Hong over the the head.”

“You said he had a concussion, right? Is he okay?” Victor asked.

Phichit shrugged. “I'm going to visit him now. They took him to the hospital to get looked at. He said he woke up alone with the door open. Splitting headache, threw up in the sink. Couldn't remember how he got there. Seung Gil actually was the one to find him. He was out walking the dogs. Then they found Eros’s wallet and phone in the bathroom. He'd never go anywhere without at least bringing them along. And then Guang Hong remembered someone breaking the lock on the door, and-”

Phichit broke off. He cleared his throat.

“They called the police, called me. And then I called you. Come on, we can borrow Guang Hong’s car.”

“We’re coming along?” Yuri asked. One eyebrow rose.

“The police are checking the cameras. They said they found a license plate number. The video… they got one showing a man carrying Eros into a van and driving away. He was unconscious, so probably why he wasn't fighting.”

“So they know who did it?” Yuri asked. He punched the air. “Fuck yes! Make that bastard pay-”

“Well, they have an idea of who did it,” Phichit said. “They said-” his voice caught and he tried again. “They said they still have to check a few things and run it past a judge to get a warrant. If Eros isn't at the man’s house… well, there's no guarantee they'll find him tonight. But if they don’t, well... The first 24 hours are the most crucial. The officers said...” Phichit was staring at his shoes, his voice barely a whisper. “Well. Most don’t make it past then.”

Victor felt chilled. His eyes closed, and he took a long, shaky breath. “I want to make that bastard pay as much as you do,” he said uneasily. “I can’t just wait here. And if we go with Phichit, we can find out information sooner than if we go off alone.”

Phichit nodded.

“I hate this,” Yuri said. His fists were trembling.

Victor turned away. His head fell into his hands, a little sob building in his chest. He carefully bit it back, shaking slightly.  

God, what a mess he was. He couldn't think, he was so scared. He'd never been so helpless, so unable to do anything productive. There was nothing he could do to help Eros right now except sit and wait.

He'd never felt so useless in his life.

* * *

 

It was dark and hazy. Yuuri’s tongue felt thick in his mouth. His jaw ached, but the gag was gone at least. Nausea worsened, and Yuuri tried to rise up to dry heave.

He couldn’t move.

He blinked in the darkness. His arms wouldn’t move, and neither would his legs. They didn’t budge. He was paralyzed. He tried to thrash, but his body laid limp on the floor, unresponsive. The hazy, sleepy sluggishness washed away like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head.

Fingers. Could he even move his fingers? He tried to twist, at least enough to see his arm. It was slow and awkward, his muscles reluctant to even respond that much. He couldn’t even move his arm enough to tell if his attempts to make a fist amounted to anything more than small twitches.

A low whimper built in his throat. He could taste the fear, the stream of “fuck, fuck, oh my god, fuck,” on his tongue, but his lips couldn’t shape the words.

The scent poured over him, acutely familiar. He heard a door open, and a shaft of light spilled over him. A light flicked on. His hand twitched, and he could smell the scent flood with pleasure.

“Ah, wonderful, you’re awake,” the voice said brightly, a low, deep rumble. In the light, Yuuri could see his surroundings more clearly than before. He was in a bedroom, though the sheets smelled clean and fresh like detergent.

He felt hands slide over his skin. He was lying on his side on the bed, head facing away from the door. Yuuri managed a hiss.

“Shhh,” the bastard soothed. “Don’t worry, beautiful Eros, my beautiful omega, it’ll all be alright soon.”

A hand came into sight above Yuuri’s head, and Yuuri’s mouth was suddenly wrenched open, the other hand fisting a large handful of hair to tip back his head. A set of tablets were forced into his mouth.

Yuuri tried to spit them out, but they were pushed down his throat, fingers pinching his tongue and pulling it out of the way to force them deeper. Yuuri bit, trying to get the fingers out, but all he could taste was a bitter explosion over the back of his tongue. Yuuri gagged and swallowed reflexively, unable to stop them as they slipped down. He tried to retch.

“There we go. Soon you’ll be begging for my alpha cock like the perfect little slut you are, and I’ll make you mine in a way that fucking Aria wishes he could.” The voice took a dark edge.

“N-no,” Yuuri forced. His tongue was thick in his mouth, but the simple shape of the word was something he could almost manage. “No-”

“Shh, I know what you need,” the alpha said. He let his hands trail lightly over Yuuri’s hip. Yuuri winced and shuddered. “You’ll start to feel those soon. Give it a few hours.”

Yuuri blinked. The light was so bright, it was stabbing his eyes, piercing deep down into his head. He felt sick.“What- who-”

“I’ve wanted you for so long… so much longer than anyone else, I’m sure… Don’t worry, I’ll be back to check on you soon.”

Yuuri let out an angry scream, thrashing. He could feel his limbs start to stir, though they still were so sluggish to respond, giving every movement a hopeless desperation. He heard the door close. He screamed louder.

Within minutes his voice felt grating in his throat, and it hurt to keep yelling. He let himself slip into a furious silence, steaming mad. The man was familiar. Something about him was so distantly familiar. It had been at the back of his mind for the last few weeks, but something about the sweat and the scent and the voice rang bells in the back of his head.

Yuuri groaned to himself. It was so hard to think. His mind felt like it was running at half speed, sluggish and slow, as thick and unresponsive as his limbs. Still, the pills he’d been made to swallow were there at the front of his attention.

He’d been dosed with something.

A sedative to keep him pliant and helpless? Poison? No, the stalker bastard had said he wanted Yuuri. He wanted _Eros,_ most likely alive.

A muffled sob built in his chest. Fuck. Of course he wanted Eros.

But the pills. They were something. Something. Yuuri’s mind lazily circled the thought. The air was so cold on his skin and he shivered. His fingers twitched and curled tighter into the sheets. Time seemed to drag slowly, and Yuuri felt himself spacing off. He had to force his attention back.

Sedative. Likely, but he’d been injected with something once already. The tranquilizer, but even so. If the man had tranquilizers, he likely had sedatives. But then why would he insist on coming back?

Yuuri couldn’t think. His mind was so hard to work through. Every last train of thought had to be dragged through thick sludge, turned over and over through his head as he thought it over.

He was so tired, and the sheets felt so harsh on his skin.

Time felt like a hazy thing. Yuuri knew he needed to move, escape, but it was so hard to sit up. He rolled over. His muscles worked, but they had a weight to them that made it agonizing. The lethargy settled deep. Yuuri slid himself right up to the edge of the bed, breathing heavily.

He needed to stand up. He needed to get out of this bed, out of this room, and escape.

He hit the floor.

“Shit,” he whispered. His legs were jello beneath him, and he’d collapsed before he could take even a step. Angry tears burned in the corners of his eyes. That fucking bastard. What had he given him?

Yuuri’s skin felt feverishly warm, and his clothes crawled on his skin. The jacket felt constricting. He pulled weakly at it. He needed to pull it off before he died of heat stroke. He yanked and jerked and gasped when it sent him sprawling back onto the floor, his arms awkwardly tangled up.

The door opened once more.

Yuuri looked up. He wished he could say the man’s face rang some kind of bell in his mind, but it didn’t. Vaguely familiar, maybe, but nothing standout. Another face in the crowd. The horrible alpha stench was like a corrupted protectiveness, a disgusting warmth.

“Feeling a little toasty?” he said, and his voice was so sickeningly sweet it set Yuuri’s nerves alight. “Poor, poor thing.”

“Fuck you,” Yuuri growled. It came out slowly, but clear enough. He thrashed. The jacket caught on his arms took all the teeth out of his threat.

The alpha circled him, making a little pitying noise. “Here, I’ll help you.”

“No, no no-” Yuuri protested, but hands were already pulling at the clothes, taking first the jacket, then his shirt from him as well. Yuuri batted at the alpha, trying to push him away, trying to fight, but his blows were weak, and the alpha bulled past. He grabbed Yuuri up and laid him back on the bed. “Give me my shirt,” Yuuri hissed, glaring.

“You won’t need it,” the alpha replied. He turned, setting the shirt aside on a side table. Yuuri saw muscles flexing under the alpha’s short-sleeved t-shirt. Yuuri narrowed his eyes.

As long as the drugs were in his system, he wasn’t going to be overpowering the fucker. Maybe not even when they were out of his system. The alpha was big. Not just muscular, but bulky. Somewhere between weightlifter and bodybuilder, probably, if Yuuri had to guess. Someone who spent a lot of time in the gym.

“Who are you?” Yuuri managed to get out. His head was swirling under the waves of scent. He had to lay back to catch his breath. “How do you know me?”

The alpha’s lips quirked. “I doubt you know my name. You were so quick to kick me off you show for no reason, even though I gave you so many coins for weeks and weeks and weeks. Still, always a chance it was a mistake.”

He was trying to think as hard as he could. So many people had been kicked, and the sedatives were making his head spin. Maybe he could find out who it was. “Username?” Yuuri asked.

“You think you know it? It’s nothing remarkable, not really. JizzJazz. When your moderator kicked me, I was so upset, my beautiful little whore.”

Yuuri’s whole body jerked. He felt tears on his cheeks. The name was distantly familiar, but only skimming the edges of his memory. 

“I was so angry,” the alpha continued. “I just wanted to watch you fuck yourself open so sweetly for me, was that so wrong? But I knew it wasn’t your fault. So I made a new account and I kept my mouth shut. I always knew you were perfect, ever since I first saw you, and I wanted you. Then I saw how much of a slut you were, and I knew I had to make you mine. The truth is, that innocent little college student thing isn't the real you, is it? Isn’t the only you.”

Yuuri wheezed. “H-how do you know that?”

“I know lots of things about you, Eros. I've watched you for years. The first time I saw you was the gym, and you were so beautiful then, just like you are now. Such a tease. I had to find some sort of outlet. But you know it's so hard to find decent male omega porn, especially ones with any sort of Asian heritage. Then one day, I found you.

“It took me so long to put the two together, the you at the gym and the you online, I'm almost ashamed. But when I did, oh I knew you were the one, easy on the eyes and so hungry for an alpha cock inside you.”

“No!” Yuuri screamed. “You're wrong, I don't-” Fingers pushed inside his mouth. He bit down and the alpha forced his jaw open, sliding the gag back inside. Yuuri screamed into it. His throat ached, scraped raw.

“Shhhh. I know, it's hard to admit the truth. I'm scared, too,” the alpha purred. “Hmm. I'll give you a little more time to warm up. I'm sure you'll be a lot more honest with yourself when your heat finally starts. Alphas and omegas are so much purer in their basest forms. We can bond, then. The first one is the most exhilarating, I hear.” 

His fingers, spitslick and wet, trailed down Yuuri's cheek, dragging his nails over Yuuri's scent gland near the base of his throat. It stung like fire. Yuuri screamed louder, trying to pull the gag off his face, his fingers fumbling drunkenly with the straps around the back of his head, trying at the same time to push the hand away from the glands. 

The alpha watched, vaguely amused. “Leave that in, please. If you remove it, I’ll have to tie you up, and I don’t want to do that. Rope burn is so easy to get, and I don’t want to chafe your pretty skin.”

When Yuuri fixed him with a glare and continued to try, he found his arms ripped away, the alpha growling. Yuuri recoiled.

“I said don't touch,” he hissed. The warmth in the pit of his stomach spread, responding to the sudden rush of alpha pheromones being poured into the air. Yuuri whimpered, trying to pull away. His body was responding to the pheromones so strangely. Alpha scents rarely affected him this badly except…

Yuuri’s eyes went wide and he stilled. Except during his heats.

“There's a good omega,” the bastard breathed, and he wrenched Yuuri’s wrists around behind his back, forcing Yuuri onto his stomach. Yuuri struggled until his head grew light and his breath short.

He should have eaten something earlier, he thought blearily. Preheat was definitely building in his veins, and his appetite was even more fucked than before. But Yuuri had no doubts or illusions anymore: the tablets were heat inducers, and the man intended to bond with Yuuri if he got even half the chance.

A bond needed two willing participants, midcoitus. And in a heat, overwhelmed and desperate for sex, Yuuri didn’t like his odds of holding back.

So this was what real fear felt like.

Everything before felt like a pale imitation of the cold sweat running down his spine, the chilling stillness creeping over him, the distant apathy as he realized he couldn’t stop this and couldn’t even bother to try.

Yuuri distantly heard the drag of rope, felt it taut against his skin as his wrists were crossed and bound. Yuuri tugged at it. The ties were too tight to budge, almost tight enough to cut off circulation to his hands.

“I’m locking the door,” the alpha said lightly. “I should be back soon. Wait for me, my pretty little slut, I’ll be back for you soon.” The distant click of the lock felt so final.

He was left there on his stomach. He didn’t want to move.

Of course he did. It took ages, and it was a horrible struggle to manage, but he dragged himself onto the floor, slowly inching over the carpet until he’d found himself curled by the door, trying to force it open with his hands bound behind his back.

Locked, of course. He sprawled forward onto his knees when his legs gave out. The air was ice against his flushed skin. He was sweating hard, breathing heavily through his nose. He tried to reach his arms up to the back of his head, straining to free himself of the gag. It wouldn’t come off.

He turned to the window. It was boarded up, the curtains pinned under thick blocks of two by fours nailed to the walls. Yuuri couldn’t even peek outside. He curled by the bed, struggling to breathe, the panic bubbling over. And the hours slowly passed.

Everything reeked of alpha. The familiar feeling of preheat built faster and faster inside him, a nauseating warmth and a feeling of his skin itching and crawling everywhere the fabric touched him. He crawled back into the bed, squirmed in the sheets.

His pants were horrible and constricting and uncomfortable, but the last rational part of his mind knew those were better left where they were. Everything was artificial and unnatural, taking him over too quickly. He could feel every shift in his body, the burning need to nest, the spasms of heat and the cramps as his body tried to ready itself too suddenly.

Yuuri sprawled over the sheets and shuddered. Don't nest. Don't nest. The second he started nesting, it would feel real. Everything felt wrong and out of place: the scent, the arrangement of everything. The impulse to shift things around had him twitching.

He buried his face in the clean sheets, trying to drown out the alpha’s scent. Yuuri never wanted to smell another alpha again, just the thought made him dry heave against the gag. He carefully swallowed back the feeling.

His skin crawled, desperate for a touch. Lava flowed under his skin, burning bright and hot. He needed an alpha, needed _his_ alpha. He shuddered. Just the thought of Victor’s light touch, his blue eyes, had Yuuri spilling a sudden rush of slick, feeling the sickening slide between his cheeks.

He squirmed and whimpered. He clawed out, straining at the binds. His wrists felt raw, his mewls muffled by the thick rubber ball between his lips. The saliva running down his jaw was coating the sheets below him. It was cold and slimy. His head hurt like fire.

Victor… Victor… He felt the tears flowing again. He wanted Victor. He didn’t want to go into heat here, he didn’t feel safe. It was tearing him apart inside, the fears that he’d bond, trapped for months as the omega of that slimy alpha bastard and everyone would see it until it finally began to heal.

Even when it healed, he’d be scarred, forever sullied.

He writhed on the bed, flushed and heated, restless and uneasy as his heat drew closer and closer. He almost didn’t notice the alpha reappear, except the sudden wash of scent had Yuuri simultaneously recoiling and whimpering for a touch. His body ached for it, for an alpha, worse than any heat Yuuri could remember ever before.

“Thirsty?” the alpha asked cheerily. He had a bottle of water in his hands, already open. Yuuri eyed it warily, but he was parched. Dehydration was doing a number on his head. It felt like knives were driving themselves into his temples and twisting. But he could have also added just about anything to it. “Don’t be like that.”

He set the bottle aside and undid the gag. Yuuri coughed and worked his jaw, feeling the dull ache of having it stretched open for far, far too long.

“What are you going to do?” Yuuri rasped. His voice sounded like shit. Too much useless screaming into the gag. “Bond me? Rape me? Then what? Reveal my identity?”

“Oh no no no, of course not! You misunderstand. I know my precious Eros likes his privacy. And we don’t want the truth getting out, no no no. They’ll want you for themselves. That scary Candyman, for instance. He says the most _terrible_ things about you on the forums. If he had half the chance, well, it’s not a very nice thing to think about! I’m not surprised you hid away from them.”

“Said… what?” Yuuri asked, remembering the slightly off-kilter comments. He didn’t feel relieved in the least.

“Hmm. I don't recall. But he's obsessed with your pretty little ass. I can't say I blame him, it's quite perfect.” He pressed the bottle to Yuuri’s lips. Cool, sweet water dribbled across his cracked lips. He took a few hasty swallows. “It’s like it’s made to hold a big alpha cock, so greedy and hungry.”

Yuuri shuddered, but drained as much as he could before the bottle was pulled from his mouth.

He was going into heat soon, he could feel it inches away, threatening to break within an hour at the most. If he didn’t drink now, he likely wouldn’t for another day or two. Then again, maybe death would be preferable to this.

The alpha checked his temperature with a hand to his forehead. “Getting warmer,” he said, sounding pleased. “You should feel it very soon.”

“Fuck you,” Yuuri hissed.

The alpha tsked him. “Now now, that’s not very nice.” He checked the nice watch on his wrist and nodded. “It’s been about four hours now, I’d say. Maybe a half an hour more, and we can get started. You’ll be singing a different tune, then, I’m quite sure.”

“You’ll pay for this. You definitely won’t get away with it. I have an alpha. He’ll tear you apart,” Yuuri lied.

“Aria?” the alpha asked, waving the comment away. “He’s in California, isn’t he? Not much good he can do from there, I’m afraid. And he hasn’t bonded you yet. Clearly he doesn’t care about you as much as you think he does. Well, no matter. I’ll be back soon. Think it over, why don’t you. I promise I can give it to you much better than that knot-headed idiot in LA. It’s not the size, you know, it’s how you use it.”

The alpha winked and waved as he left the room. The door shut loudly. The lock clicked with a resolute little sound.

Yuuri laid back, stunned into silence. It had been a long shot from the beginning, but hearing the words aloud…

Yuuri rolled over, his body wracked with thick sobs. Of course. It was true, and Yuuri knew it. And it was Yuuri’s fault. If Victor didn’t care, it would boil down to one thing: Victor knew nothing. He didn’t know where Yuuri lived, he didn’t know Yuuri’s true name. He didn’t know the first thing about Yuuri.

He didn’t know that Yuuri was a hot mess beneath the Eros exterior, just like he didn’t know that Eros was just a piece of Yuuri’s true self, like a side of a coin Yuuri could never publicly acknowledge or accept.

Victor deserved so much better. And though Yuuri missed him now more than he ever had in the last few weeks, Yuuri had never felt more sure of one thing: at least Victor could be happy.

* * *

 

Guang Hong was a cute little beta with scruffy hair and bright eyes, though a little unfocused. His head was bandaged. He sat up a little more when Phichit walked in, and greeted him with a sad, if slightly dazed, smile.

He'd be alright, the nurse said, especially since the nausea had passed and the scans looked good. The hit to his head had been harsh, but not likely to cause lasting damage. He’d be fine to go home the next morning.

Introductions were a little awkward, to say the least, but Victor was fairly sure they survived with the bare minimum awkwardness. Victor was more than happy to give the two of them a few minutes alone. The second he stepped outside, he started to walk up and down the length of the hall, rubbing at his temple and trying to keep from showing just how stressed he was.

Nothing. It had been an hour already, and they’d heard nothing. Victor couldn’t take this. His heart was ready to leap from his chest. Everything felt wound a turn too tight.

He leaned against the wall, head in his hands, and slid to the floor, crumpling.

He could hear Yuri swear in the distance and stomp over. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Sitting,” Victor said. “Just for a minute, I just-”

“How the fuck can you sit there, you useless-”

Victor whipped his head up, barely containing his anger. He kept the tremors limited to just his clenched fist. “What do you want me to do? I want to go after him. I want to tear that alpha’s head from his shoulders. But I don’t know where Eros is,” he said.

Victor fought to keep his tone level and even, unshaken by the stress. Someone had to keep their shit together, and Yuri clearly wasn’t going to be the one to do it.

“I don’t know where Eros went. I don’t know that I could keep him safe even if I did. I don’t- I don’t want to fail him. And I can’t help but think that… if he was running away from me, he probably doesn’t want to see me now.”

“Coward. That kind of attitude won’t get him back.”

“Well, neither will yours,” Victor said. He pushed himself back to his feet. Phichit emerged from the hospital room. He looked dead on his feet.

“He needs sleep. I can drive you to a hotel, but I'll probably stay here tonight,” he said.

“I don't mind staying here,” Victor said. “You should stay with your friend. If Yuri and I need to go anywhere, we can get an Uber or something.”

Relief was painted over his face. “Thanks. I think there's a waiting area over here. I think I need coffee. Even shitty hospital coffee.”

It was getting late. The exhaustion was starting to hit. Victor was pretty well versed in hiding it, but Yuri was blinking too quickly and too slowly in alternate turns, his eyes drooping every now and again.

Victor grabbed a cup. It tasted like shit. But it was warm and caffeinated, and he held it close. He didn't think he could sleep if he wanted.

“So your friend is okay?”

“Yeah, fine, just a few gaps in his memory about what happened. A few rough spots. It might come back to him. I don't know if that's good or bad,” Phichit said.

He chugged the coffee and grimaced, going back for more. He added a heavy dose of sugar and creamer. He still grimaced on the next sip.

“He thinks it's his fault. It's not, though. He was just in the wrong place.” Phichit sighed. “I know it's my fault. There was more I could have done.”

“You think?” Yuri hissed. Phichit glared over his coffee.

“I knew people were crazy. You think I haven't seen it? I've seen… all this crazy bullshit, you guys have no idea. And Eros doesn't go on the forums or anything so he hasn't seen some of the things people say. But I thought he'd be safe. I thought… you know, there's no way someone would come _here_.”

Phichit shuddered and took a deep breath.

“People are obsessed. They are, I know, but to take it that far… well, people always exaggerate on the internet you know? I can't… I just can't do this. I can't stand the thought that I could have prevented this if I had just done more.”

“You couldn't stop someone from coming here,” Victor said. “You said it yourself. People are crazy. No matter what lengths you took, someone was going to find a place where they could get in. You can't be perfect all the time, no one expects that.”

“I know Eros didn't want to but… I could have gone to the police anyway! I could have told them people were making threats online! I could have done more to protect him-”

_Smack._

The sound of the slap rang in the air. Yuri’s eyes were burning, his hand red and Phichit’s cheek stinging. “Get yourself together. They're going to find Eros, and when they do, you're the one they'll want to talk to. So get your shit together!” Yuri spat. “You can't stop this, it's too late for that now!”

Phichit blinked, and then something human came back into his eyes, a little more grounded now.

Yuri jammed his hand into his pocket. “Feeling sorry for yourself won't get Eros back.”

Phichit slowly nodded, touching his cheek. “You're right, Yurio. It won't get him back. But I still feel personally responsible for what happened. I can't pretend there wasn't more I could have done.”

“Oh, there's definitely more you could have done,” Yuri said. He dropped into a chair opposite Phichit. “A lot more. But too little, too late. We need Eros home safe, first. Then we can castrate the alpha that took him. Everything else comes after.”

The following silence was almost unbearable. Victor could hear every squeak of the chairs as the occupants shifted. The antiseptic smell was overwhelming. Victor wrung his hands.

“Yurio?” he said lightly, turning to Phichit.

“That's not my name,” Yuri hissed.

Phichit smiled slightly. “You told Eros he could use it.”

“Yeah! Eros! Not you,” Yuri spat.

Victor found his own lips pulling up at the corners. “Yurio. It's kind of cute.”

“It's not cute! You're not allowed to use it!”

“Can I, Yurio?” Phichit teased. “I helped come up with it.”

“If it's not cute, then I don't see why it bothers you,” Victor said. Yurio looked ready to kill.

But the moment of levity quickly passed, and the painful silence fell back over the room again.

Victor’s mind wouldn't shut up. He refused to entertain the idea that Eros wouldn't be found. But if Eros was found, Victor wasn't sure of so many things.

He opened his mouth, then closed it. Sat a while longer, letting the thoughts stew in his head.

“… What if he doesn't want to see me after all this?” Victor finally said.

Phichit looked startled to hear Victor talk again. “What do you mean?”

“I can't stop thinking about how scared he must be, how horrible it will be for him even after he's free. I want to help him. But I don't want to make things worse than they already are. Everything will be overwhelming even without me around. And… I betrayed his trust by coming here.”

Victor paused, and the realization washed over him, sour on his tongue.

“Yuri’s right. I'm just… a stupid greedy alpha, assuming I could do something no one else could for him. I can't go charging in and save him, and I don't know if he'd forgive me if I could. Probably not. I wouldn't be surprised, and I couldn't even blame him.”

“What do you want? Honestly. Why did you come here?” Phichit said.

Victor shook his head. “I don't know anymore. I just… right now, all I want is for him to be safe and happy. I should just go home. Pretend I never came here. I don't need to bother him with this. He wanted away from me for a reason. I should respect that.”

Phichit put his foot down. “Really? _Really?”_ he hissed. “You two motherfuckers are going to put me in an early grave, I swear. You know that's the same excuse Eros gave me? The exact same excuse. Look, I'm not gonna meddle where I shouldn't, but Eros did the same fucking thing for you. Ugh!” Phichit dragged his hands through his hair. “I'm going grey. Look, you two are stressing me out too much.”

Yurio groaned. “Oh my god, they're both idiots. I swear as soon as we get Eros back I'm killing him and Victor both.”

The phone rang. Phichit scrambled to answer. His eyes lit up. “Hello? Yes, that's me. Yes I am.” He listened for a very long time. The play of his expressions was unbearable. He'd beam, frown, let out a little sigh, and then the worry would return again. It was torture to watch.

At last, Phichit looked confused. He looked at Victor. “Yes, I know someone by that name. He's right beside me, actually, why? Uh… oh. What do you mean?” Phichit’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, of course, we can be there in a few minutes. We're already here, actually. Ok. Thank you so much,” Phichit said. He looked choked up, close to crying. “Really, thank you. We’ll be right there.”

“What's going on?” Victor asked. His heart was hammering.

“Eros is safe,” Phichit breathed. “They got there in time. He's being brought here to be checked over. They said he's not seriously injured, but… well, it's complicated.”

“Well, what the fuck are we doing standing here? Where is he?” Yuri asked.

“What do you mean, complicated?” Victor asked, and that fiery pit of anger curled inside him. His voice was cold and level, but inside he could feel it building.

“The nurse… can explain it better,” Phichit said. “He was given something. A lot of something, I guess. He… well, he was asking for you. I don't know how aware of it he'll be.”

“We should go,” Victor said. Phichit nodded, sprinting down the hallway. Eros would be in another ward completely. Phichit couldn't run fast enough. Victor wanted to sprint faster, but only Phichit knew exactly where to go.

He seemed to share their urgency, however. They burst through to their destination, out of breath. “Wait here,” Phichit said, hurrying up to the desk. He spoke quickly with a nurse waiting for them at the front desk.

He looked Victor up and down, his lips pursed. “You're Victor?” he said curtly.

Victor wondered if it was the bedraggled just-got-off-a-plane thing or the stressing-over-a-missing-ex-boyfriend-he's-definitely-probably-in-love-with that made him look the most terrible, at least enough to earn judging looks from the nurse. He nodded all the same.

“He's going to be delirious for a while. Be patient with him, please. Just having your scent in the room should be enough to calm him down, but the emergency heat suppressant we gave him has some major side effects that we need to neutralize if he wants a positive recovery.”

“What sort of side effects?” Phichit asked, at the same time as Victor reeled and sputtered.

“Hold on, emergency heat suppressants?”

“He was given a form of heat inducer. It was slow enough we were able to neutralize it before a full heat could be brought upon, but it will still take a few hours for his hormones to balance out. Omegas pulled from their nests face a great deal of stress, even if the heat is artificially induced. His emotions might be volatile until his hormones even out, and he will feel nauseous.”

Victor felt his heart crashing more with every word.

“Other effects include severe headaches, dizziness or fainting, difficulties with self-regulating body temperature, and sudden vomiting. He had a poorly mixed cocktail of sedatives and tranquilizers in his system at the time as well, and they aren't helping with his lucidity. He is also fairly dehydrated. We have him on an IV, but for what the IV can't take care of, scenting him should alleviate. Mr. Chulanont said you'd be willing and able to help?”

Victor almost couldn't answer. He choked on his words. “Yes, god yes, if it'll help. I'll do anything.”

The nurse nodded once more. “Then come this way.”

Victor could smell him long before they reached the room. The scent crept beneath the antiseptic blanket that seemed to lay over every inch of the hospital, sweet and heavy. His breath rushed faster. He could smell the heavy vanilla, the sweet fertile citrus smell Victor remembered from Eros’s heat.

Only worry, anxiety, and fear kept him from popping a boner then and there, the irresistible scent pouring out of one of the nearby rooms. It was slightly off, but it was _Eros._ The door was opened, and there he was.

Eros was curled in a pile of blankets, shivering and sweating, writhing and gasping. His hair stuck to his face. He looked so small, attached to so many wires and monitors, drowning in the blankets they'd given him as a sort of temporary nest. His glasses looked too big for his face. He looked so vulnerable.

“Eros,” Victor breathed, pushing his way inside. “I'm so glad you're okay, I was so scared-”

“Victor,” Eros breathed, opening his arms. His eyes were huge, dilated and open wide, hazy with lust.  Victor hesitated, and Eros made a little sound of protest, softer, drawing him in. His voice was thick. “Please, Victor, please-”

Victor crushed him in a hug, as hard as he dared, and Eros squeezed him back, so weakly it broke Victor’s heart. Eros frantically rubbed against him, scenting him fiercely.

Victor smelled another alpha on Eros’s heat-flushed skin, and his mind went ballistic. He let his scent flood the room. It poured over them until everything was buried, save for the distant antiseptic smell and the mingling scents of Eros and Victor, Victor and Eros, so perfect and sweet and desperate together.

Victor nuzzled him, dragging his wrists and the points on his neck over whatever he could reach and listening to the sweet sound of Eros’s purring beneath him. Eros pulled, and Victor followed, bracing a knee against the bed and leaning over his warm body. Eros’s arms came up around his neck, dragging him down, burying his face in Victor’s neck and inhaling deeply.

“Missed you,” Eros said in his ear. Victor's cheeks were wet.

“I missed you, too,” Victor whispered, feeling choked up.

The nurse cleared his throat behind them. Victor pulled back slightly, but Eros clutched at his shirt and tugged. Victor fell awkwardly beside him, sheepishly smiling at the grouchy nurse. Eros clung to him, breathing his scent deeply.

Eros wasn't mad.

Or, if he was, at least it was so buried under the haze of his heat that, for at least a few more minutes, Victor could pretend that everything was fine, and that Eros hadn’t dumped him unceremoniously like last week’s garbage.

And that was fine, of course, but it made all this hurt even more, because now Victor had to deal with the conflicting sides all warring in his head for dominance.

Eros, beautiful, proud, stubborn Eros, more glorious than words could ever hope to describe, had dumped Victor. Eros, who had his choice of any alpha in the world, who had, for that beautiful blissful time, entertained the idea of _them together._

And when it was gone…

Victor would have crawled on his knees and begged forgiveness, if he thought it would have fixed this. He’d prostrate himself on the ground and kiss Eros’s feet.

And now here Eros was, cuddled up to Victor’s side, clutching tight. Victor never wanted to let him go. But this moment was as precious as it would be brief. Once the supressant finished its job, once Eros was back to his senses, things would return to they way they were before, and Victor would let them, if it made Eros happy.

Until then, Victor would be here, feeling his heart break in two.

Phichit moved to stand on Eros’s other side, smiling fondly. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Eros mumbled something back, and Phichit shook his head, laughing softy. “I’ll let you sleep.”

Yuri glared at the nurse. “So what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“He smells wrong. Like chemicals. Did they catch the son of a bitch who did this or not?”

“Arrested,” Phichit said. “They wouldn’t give me any details, not right now. Just said they took him into custody and that Eros would be okay. Nothing… happened,” Phichit said vaguely.

Yuri’s glare intensified. The nurse put his hands up. “I don’t know anything beyond the patient’s condition. He came in overdosed on sedatives and tranquilizers. If I had to guess, his captor didn’t have time to do anything sexual. If he remembers anything or not,” the nurse said, gesturing to Eros, “what happened beyond that is up to him to tell you.”

Yuri growled, and Phichit placed a hand on his shoulder. “That’s not going to help right now. I can talk to the police again and see if they can tell us anything more. Do you want to come along?”

“I’ll just get pissed off,” Yuri said, waving him away. “Give me the sparknotes version so I know how painfully I need to remove that fucker’s testicles.” The nurse winced.

Phichit nodded. “Okay. Victor, you can watch over him, right?” Victor nodded. Phichit closed his eyes and took a long breath. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Call me if anything changes with him, okay?”

“I can do that,” Victor said. The nurse left first, and after a minute, Phichit followed.

There was a second's lull before Victor heard Phichit start to sob softly outside the door. Eros had already lapsed into sleep, and didn’t hear just how relieved his roommate was that he was okay.

Victor stroked his hair softly, watching him sleep.

Eros’s eyes fluttered gently. His scent slowly started to even out, still thick with heat, but starting to color with something like the lovely smell of postheat.

For the moment, Victor was transported from the stark hospital room and carried to his bedroom back in LA, to the hours after his rut, after Eros’s heat, when everything made sense, when everything was just another excuse to hold Eros close and take care of him.

Then, as time slipped away, Eros slowly blinked his eyes open, unfocused and hazy, and clarity took him over. “V-Victor! What-?” His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. It sounded rough, as though speaking hurt. Eros was sputtering. He glanced over and saw Yurio hunched over in a chair. He sounded horrified. “What are you two doing here?”

“We're here because you vanished you idiot-” Yuri started to yell. Eros put a hand up, clutching his head.

“Yurio, please, can I have a moment to talk to Victor?” Yurio bristled. “Please?” Eros pressed. His voice cracked weakly. 

Yuri looked away. “Fine. Whatever. I'll be back though. I'm glad you're awake and not dead.”

Eros smiled sadly. “Me too.” He was shaking. Victor rubbed his thumb in circles against the back of his hand, their fingers laced together. The shaking lessened, if only faintly, and it gave Victor hope.

As much hope as fear, at least, as the thought of their talk alone instilled such a breathtaking terror in Victor he wanted to be the one running.

He couldn't stand to hear those words again. Once had broken his heart enough. But Eros could take the broken pieces and crush them into dust if he wanted.  

Eros waited until they were at last alone, trembling, his scent slowly souring, and Victor knew the happy times were well and truly over. Eros looked up at him, his mouth slowly opening. He blinked, and suddenly tears were streaming down Eros’s cheeks.

Victor panicked. “I- Eros, I'm sorry, I don't know what- are you mad I'm here? I'm so sorry Eros, but people were saying you vanished and I- I might have overreacted- I know you didn't want me to look but I still had the package info from when you mailed us your equipment-”

“I'm sorry,” Eros said flatly, swiping his eyes dry. The tears still streamed down his cheeks. Victor could see the concentrated force going into trying to stop them. “I'm sorry I made you fly halfway across the country to be here, plane tickets aren’t cheap, believe me, I know-”

It came, sudden and irresistible, like a crashing wave. Victor couldn't hold it in.

“Wha- no, Eros, you didn’t make me do anything. I can here because I wanted to, because I was scared for you-”

“Well you shouldn’t have been, I can take care of myself just fine-”

“Obviously I should have been more scared, considering I came here just in time to be absolutely _terrified_ that you were going to end up dead or worse- why didn’t you tell me you were dealing with this-”

Eros slammed his fists into the bed. “Because it’s not your problem! It’s mine.” His voice broke. “And I’m not going to drag you down anymore. I- I can’t.”

It felt like there was no more air in his lungs. “Eros- no, no you aren't dragging me down,” Victor said, confused.

“Yes I am! You can tell that your fans hate me. They know that I’m a… I’m a slut.” Eros’s voice cracked, and the shaking began anew. Oh. _Oh_. Suddenly, Victor understood.

“It’s always been this, hasn’t it?” Victor breathed. “This has always been the issue. Eros, do you think you’re a slut?”

Eros savagely shook his head. “There’s no think about it. That alpha, he was right. I’m just… Eros is a slut. It's the truth. And the real me is a useless mess.”

Eros wrapped his arms around himself, drawing away from Victor.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Eros whispered. “I can’t stop thinking about the way you smile and how beautiful you are when you’re skating, because you look like you’re free. And meanwhile, I just want you to fuck me. Every single time I see you, every time we're together, I just want you to hold me in your arms and I feel… I’m so selfish, and everything comes back to this in the end.”

“No no no Eroska-” Victor tried to say, but Eros broke in, still shaking his head with more and more hysteria building in his tone.

“ _Yes!_ I’m sorry for dragging you down, Victor, you deserve better than this, so much better than a slut like-”

“Eros!” Victor shouted.

“What?!” Eros fired back. The tears were shining again in his eyes.

“Am I a slut?” Victor asked.

“What?” Eros said, recoiling. “No!”

“Do you think I’m a whore?” Victor said. He gestured to himself, all of himself, rumpled and ruined, exhausted and so very endlessly besotted with this stupid, silly, brilliant, beautiful man before him.

“Never!” Eros said. He clutched himself tighter, white knuckles clutching the thin hospital gown.

Victor needled in. “Well I am, by your definition.”

“No, that’s-” Eros sputtered.

“Eros, if you’re a slut, then I must be too. I’ve slept with more people, I’ve done more shows, I’ve got a bigger toy collection, and I’ve done this longer. Quite a bit longer. By all counts, I should be a bigger slut than you.”

Eros shook his head frantically. “That’s- no! It’s different, you’re- You’re Aria-”

“And you’re you,” Victor said firmly. He placed his hands over Eros’s, gently trying to ease up on the grip he had on his gown. “That doesn’t make you any different from me. All those things you said, the ones about how you feel. I feel them too. You can’t hold us to different standards like that. Eros, please, I-”

“How can you be okay with this?” Eros said bluntly.

“With what?”

Eros peeled one of his hands away and gestured vaguely. He was trembling. “With… calling yourself a slut. You’re- you’re not-”

“Eros. It’s just a word. It only has as much power as you give it. And when you let them use it to hurt you, you’re just giving them ammunition. They’re cruel, Eros, and they’re horrible, and most of all they’re wrong, because they use the word to break you down and make you think less of yourself, not because it’s true.”

“But it is!”

“So what if it is?” Victor fired back.

Eros looked blank. “What?”

“What if it is true? I’m a slut, right?”

“No you’re-”

“Eros. Please, listen. I like sex. I feel good when I know that people are watching, and it makes me feel amazing to see how you react when you know people are watching, when I remind you of your audience, how you change and feed off them. I’d do… dangerous, probably questionable things just to see your bedhead one more time, especially after I’ve spent the night making love to you. I want to see that sleepy smile again, the one I saw that morning after your heat.”

Victor’s eyes were burning, his chest hurt, but he couldn't stop. It was pouring out of him.

“If that makes me a slut, so be it, Eros, I’m a slut for you. I’m a slut for the way your body moves and the way you moan my name when you breathe in my scent, and the way you laugh and how you look when you're lost in thought. I’m a slut for you, Eros. And I don’t care what people think. Can’t you try to see my side of it? I don’t mind, as long as people know that I’m only a slut for you, Eros.”

Eros was frozen for a long time, before his eyes skated down, finding a sudden fascination with the ugly patterned sheets. “For… me?” he whispered.

“Of course, for you! Eros… you’re the only one who makes me feel like this. You’re the only person who… really, you’re the only one who makes me feel human, like I’m not just a glorified sex toy on the internet. I’d.. I’d be anything for you, Eros,” Victor pleaded. “Whatever you needed, my sweet Eroska. Your boyfriend, your therapist, your-”

“I don't need a therapist,” Eros bit. “And I don't need pity.”

“Not a therapist. Someone who will listen. Eros, you hide these things from me and from Phichit because you don't want our pity, fine. But I've never pitied you, Eros. I've feared for you, worried for you, but I will always listen to you, even if it's because I don't know what else I can do for you. So maybe not a therapist. An open ear, a shoulder to lean on, a thing to yell at-”

Eros shook his head. “No. I don’t want you being anything but yourself. That's enough for me. I just… want you there. The real you. Even if… even if the real Victor is something you don’t think I’ll like… I don’t want to see you faking something just to make me happy, because it won’t. And if the real Victor is a slut… then…”

Eros broke off. The words shaped on his lips, but there was no sound. He closed his eyes and breathed.

“I’ll be your s- your slut too.” His voice tripped on the word. Victor could feel the punch of it in his lungs, the spasm of Eros’s face as he forced the word, the pain it had taken him to admit that much.

Victor crushed him in another hug until Eros muttered soft ‘ow’s. He broke into a teary smile. “I don’t want you being anything you aren’t either. Will you do that for me?”

Eros collapsed into his arms. He was avoiding looking at Victor. “But… it’s the truth. Eros, the real me, it doesn’t matter. Both parts of me are… like that.”

“I want every part of you. Eros, or otherwise. And if you want the real me, I want the real you, too. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but if you’re ready, whenever that might be, I’ll be there for you, if you let me.”

“Why would you want that?” Eros muttered petulantly. “I ended things so you wouldn't have to do anything you didn't want.”

Victor made a strangled noise. “Didn't want- Eros, I want to be with you. Why else would I fly here? You are worth it, whatever you think I won't like, Eros, trust me, I mind it a lot less than you think I do. I want to be here. And I want to be with you. Unless… you don't want to be with me?” Victor paused.

Eros snapped his mouth shut, going rigid in Victor’s arms. Rejection rose like bile in his throat. “I do,” Eros admitted in a small voice. “I do, but… but Victor- I'm. I'm broken. I'm ruined. Why would you want me?”

“Eroska… I love you. I love all of you, the anxious parts and the confident ones, every last thing you’re willing to give. Even if you think you're broken, or corrupted, or whatever, I don't. I love you, Eros.”

Eros buried his face in Victor’s chest. Wet soaked through the shirt and Eros twitched with small sobs. “Yuuri,” he whispered

“What about Yuri?” Victor said, stroking Eros’s hair. Eros clenched his fingers in Victor’s shirt. “Do you want me to get him-”

Eros shook his head, and he finally looked up. His eyes were red. “Not Yurio… Yuuri.” He said it with a little lilt, a slight drag on the ‘u’. “My name.” He pointed to somewhere behind them. Victor glanced back. There was a whiteboard there on the wall, with all of the patient info written there. Spelled out in fading red dry erase ink, there was a name on the board.

Yuuri Katsuki.

It took him a long moment to understand, far longer than it should have.

Yuuri.

Yuuri.

Yuuri Katsuki.

Victor broke down into tears. Eros, no, _Yuuri_ , started to sob beside him, and they clutched each other close, bodies shaking. Victor understood. He knew what saying ‘Yuuri’ really meant.

It wasn't just a name. Not anymore. Not to Victor.

“Victor, I’m a mess. I’m a giant mess, a train wreck,” Yuuri babbled, “but if you’ll have me-”

“Stay by my side,” Victor breathed. “Yuuri, Yuuri, my Yuuri.” He clutched at the gown, inhaling the heady scent of _Yuuri_ buried under hospital chemicals.

“I’ll never let you go,” Yuuri promised. He was smiling through his tears, and Victor had never felt so light. He could have floated away on the feeling. He snuggled up tight against Yuuri, giddy and laughing and crying at once.

“You smell so good,” Victor breathed. Happiness suited Yuuri, filling out his scent with something warmer and richer.

Yuuri waved him away with a flush. “It's just the last of the heat. Probably why I'm… you know. So sappy right now.”

“Nonsense,” Victor said, shaking his head. He pressed Yuuri’s wrist to his nose to take a long, deep breath of the scent there. It tinged with embarrassment and pride. “You'd smell good no matter what.”

Yuuri laughed softly, like music. He held tight onto Victor. “My hormones… they should be fixed soon. But until they are… stay with me?”

“Now and forever,” Victor replied, latching onto him with a laugh of his own. “You won't be rid of me that easily.”

They curled together on the bed, mindful of the machines and cables. It felt like Victor hadn't slept in a month, and he could feel his eyes drooping. A sleepless night and a long flight and Victor wanted to sleep forever.

Beside him, the sleepy haze of post heat had Yuuri yawning as well.

They cuddled for a long time on the hospital bed, long enough that eventually Victor could hear the distant sound of a door opening and the slurp of a drink.

He stomped inside and flopped down, taking another noisy slurp. “Yuri,” Victor said. He blinked sleepily, lifting his head. “Can you keep it down? Yuuri’s trying to sleep.”

“I'm not trying to sleep,” Yuri said, giving him what was somehow both a confused and irritated expression.

Yuuri huffed cutely beside Victor. “Not you, Yurio, me.”

Yuri stared, then turned his head. He'd been pointedly ignoring looking at the whiteboard for most of the night, but now he paused, piecing it together faster than Victor had.

“No!” he said. He pointed at himself. “You can't be Yuri, I'm Yuri! This is why you call me Yurio isn't it? Ugh, I take it all back, no one can call me that, I was Yuri first-”

“Actually,” Yuuri said. He sat up, fixing a tired glare at Yurio. “I believe I was Yuuri first.”

“You gave that up to be Eros,” Yuri said, crossing his arms.

Yuuri looked at himself. “Hmm. No. Pretty sure I'm still Yuuri, as far as I know. Anyway, what's wrong with Yurio?”

Yuri sputtered. “What's wrong? What's _wrong?_  Ugh never mind. I'm not gonna get anywhere with you idiots, am I? Like talking to a wall. I give up.”

Victor hummed contentedly. Yurio was like a cat, right down to how he felt about attention. Yuuri smiled. “It's good to see you too, Yurio.”

“Yeah yeah, and I'm glad you're okay, Eros.” Yuri was looking away, hunched over in his chair. “Do you… uh… remember much?”

Yuuri’s hand clamped down on Victor’s. “No,” he said, a fraction too quickly. “Just a blur.”

Victor gave him a Look, and Yuuri narrowed his eyes, daring Victor to challenge him. But Victor wouldn't. Yet. Yuuri needed time to recover, and things were barely on the mend between them.

That didn't mean he'd always let Yuuri hide. Because if this had taught Victor anything, hiding from how he felt was only going to make things between them worse. This would be how Victor showed his love.

Yuri accepted the answer with a reluctant grumble. “So what are you going to do now? You deleted your site and purged your videos. You've got backups, though, right? You could put them back up. Or just be a gamer like me,” Yuri said, feigning nonchalance, but his eyes were sparking. “Better money, less stripping.”

Yuuri hummed to show he'd heard, but he didn't answer. Victor laced his fingers with Yuuri’s, leaning against him with a beaming smile. “I'm behind Yuuri, whatever he wants to do, camboy or not.”

Yuuri closed his eyes and shrugged. “I don't… I'm sorry, I can't think about this right now. I need time to consider.”

Yuri looked ready to press the issue. Victor cleared his throat. “Of course. Don't worry, Yuuri, I'll be here when you wake up. We've got all the time in the world.”

* * *

 

Yuuri snapped awake in horror. He couldn't move, a terrible weight pinning his arms.

He expected darkness around him, his mouth held open and gagged, his arms bound. But when he opened his eyes, there was a soft, ambient light, and Victor sleeping peacefully beside him. The only thing pinning him down was Victor’s body on his.

Yuuri forced himself to take deep breaths, slow his heart rate a little and relax. He was safe. He wasn't there anymore. He buried the thoughts with a sick feeling.

Pretend he forgot.

They told him in the ambulance he might. Probably trying to soothe him. Yuuri liked the thought. He liked the idea of a clean slate, not having the memory of hands on his skin, ropes binding him, and the feeling of fear haunting his dreams.

Some of his fans had always been a little creepy. It was par for the course, Yuuri had always figured. The internet was huge. The crazies were on there somewhere. But to do something like this?

It made sense it was someone local, someone who had access to things no one else did. Someone who could have seen Yuuri at the gym, then turned around and saw Eros on the same equipment a week later. Someone who could have seen Yuuri learning how to pull a move on a pole, then see that move play out as Eros.

Someone who grew obsessed, and matched the disparate identities together, until there was no doubt.

His fans had always been a little crazy.

He blinked slowly, and realized Victor’s eyes were open, heavily hooded but watching his expression. “Are you tired?” Victor asked. “You don’t look like you slept well.” His voice was rough and husky with sleep. His hair was mussed, his clothes wrinkled. Yuuri had never seen him look so unkept. But somehow despite it, maybe because of it, he looked more beautiful than Yuuri had ever seen him.

“I had nightmares,” Yuuri admitted.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Victor asked.

“No,” Yuuri said, burying his face in Victor’s chest, letting the familiar scent wash over him. The other alphas, his captor, one of the paramedics, four of the police officers, their scents had nearly driven him mad before the IV was set.

Only when his veins were pumped full of whatever chemical it was they said would neutralize the heat, did his mind clear enough to realize he’d been sobbing out Victor’s name, that there was only one alpha he wanted near him. And it was scary, how out of control he’d been for one man.

Would Victor love him less if he knew the depth of Yuuri’s love? It scared Yuuri enough.

He tried to change trains of thought before he could find himself slipping into a pit of anxiety. But even then, thinking on the future was colored with doubt, too.

If he returned to his show, he’d have to face all those people who followed him. People like Candyman, like JizzJazz, who obsessed and lusted over Eros with a dangerous ferver. Yuuri closed his eyes.

“I hate what people think of me,” he said softly. “They think they own me, that they can do whatever they want. They think… I don't know. Some of them don't I guess,” Yuuri backtracked, thinking of the ones who had only ever wanted what was best for Yuuri. He paused, and had to swallow tightly at the realization. “Oh.”

“Hmm?”

Yuuri squeezed Victor tighter. The embrace was warm, and it soothed the frazzled edges of his nerves better than any words or balm could. “I wonder if they're mad at me. The ones who weren't like that. Stargirl, OG_Dom, so on. They supported me for so long, but they never asked for anything more. Then there's you.”

“Me?” Victor asked, looking surprised.

“No one owns me,” Yuuri said fiercely. “No one.” He smiled, though, soft, warm at Victor. “But you… you've got my heart.”

Victor squealed happily, latching onto Yuuri like an octopus. “Yuuuuuri, that's so cheesy I love it!” He nuzzled Yuuri, burrowing into his throat and jaw, kissing little lines up and down. Yuuri laughed gently. He hesitated, but he touched Victor’s messy hair, slowly starting to straighten it out. He combed his fingers through.

“My site is gone. I killed it. I don't really want to bring it back, either. But…” He looked at Victor. “I don't want to quit, either. It feels like giving up, but not only that… Even if I don’t want to keep the site up, I still loved it. It was terrible and horrible, but god, it was such a rush, Victor. I don't know what to do.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t just give up like this. But… bringing it all back… uploading the old videos. I don’t know. I finally feel free.”

Victor rested his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder, stroking circles on his back. “Easy. You can just come on my show again. No site necessary.”

“I'll kill your ratings-”

“If they don't want to see me having mindblowing sex with the most gorgeous, beautiful, amazing, wonderful omega in the world, they can piss right off and find another camboy to watch. I don't need them. I never did it for the fame and followers. Yuuri. Yuuuuuuri,” Victor sang.

Yuuri laughed. “You keep saying my name.”

“I love being able to say it!” Victor said. Yuuri’s cheeks grew hot. “And seeing you blush when I dooo,” Victor added.

His expression turned serious.

“Yuuri, I never did it for them. Maybe for a little while, I don’t know, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn't right. Back when I first started, I did it because I loved it. I did it because that was what I wanted, not what anyone watching wanted. I want it to be like that now. And I want you there if you want to be there. Ten people or ten thousand watching. I don't care. As long as you're happy, so am I. Forever. I'm yours, Yuuri. Eros. Yours completely. You only have to say the word.”

The little possessive thing inside him preened at that, curling dark and pleased at it. “I like that idea,” he murmured. “And I like being yours.” He could feel Victor's happy rumbles against his chest. “I just... want them to know. You and me. Forever. I know it’s silly, but… I want them to know they can't have me, and they can't have you,” Yuuri said.

He flushed.

“I’m sorry, that came out-”

“I’d like that a lot…” Victor said before Yuuri could take it back.

Yuuri jolted. There was something electric in his words, something stupid and impulsive, completely irrational, and Yuuri had never felt more alive just thinking it. “Let's do something crazy,” he breathed. He was wide eyed and smiling. Victor looked confused, and Yuuri laughed. “Victor, let’s do it. Let’s bond.”

“What?” Victor sputtered. He sucked in a shocked breath. “You want to- you would-”

“Only if you want-”

“Let’s do it,” Victor said quickly. Yuuri felt his heart soar. Victor grabbed him tight, and Yuuri’s chin tipped up, falling into a kiss. He’d never tasted anything so sweet, never felt something so exhilarating as the sudden rush of scent swirling around him like winter and pine and the purest joy imaginable.

This time, for real, Yuuri wouldn’t let him go. For as long as Victor was here, Yuuri was too. And he wasn’t going to ever give Victor a reason to look away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the end yet ;) I definitely have a few more things to get to, so stay tuned!


	17. The Dawn of a New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was no time to look back with regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to extend a huge, heartfelt thanks to everyone who has followed this story over the last year. Everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and stayed by my side through it all. Thank you all so much. What a ride.

Yuuri woke in a cold sweat, clutching for Victor’s hand. 

His breath was harsh, his eyes flying open to find Victor staring at him, worry painting his face. “I'm okay,” Yuuri said instantly. He forced his coiled muscles to unclench with some trouble. 

“I'm here,” Victor said. Their laced fingers were proof of that. 

Yuuri squeezed his hand and shook his head, already feeling his heart rate slowing slightly, the dream already fading from his mind. He let his eyes close. “I know. I know.”

The level of trust Yuuri had in those words should have scared him. It shouldn't have made him feel so safe to be here in Victor’s arms. Everything was too fast and too soon and too fucked up to even begin making sense.

It had barely been two months since they first met. They didn’t know each other at all. There was so much that could go wrong and so much that Yuuri was going to ruin and screw up, and he’d fall short of all Victor’s expectations eventually. 

But after everything, even if this was a mistake, even if things went horribly wrong, Yuuri wasn't letting go. Not for the world, not for anyone. 

Yuuri wrestled with the tubes and IVs and monitors attached to his body and finally managed to get to where he could squeeze Victor tight. 

They were still in the hospital room. The bed was uncomfortable for one and downright cramped for two, but there was nowhere else Yuuri wanted to be right now. 

Victor stroked his hair. The gentle touch was soothing, and Yuuri allowed himself the chance to relax the rest of the way. Victor’s scent was thick on the air. It settled deep in Yuuri’s bones, doing its best to clear away the thorns of fear and doubt choking his mind. 

“I don't want to stay here,” Yuuri murmured. “I can feel his hands on me in my dreams and I hate it. I keep imagining him coming here. It’s like I can't breathe anymore, like my chest is caving in on itself.”

“He's not coming near you,” Victor said fiercely. “He's been arrested, and he'll go away for a long, long time for what he did to you.”

“You say it like it's that easy,” Yuuri said. He shook his head. “It's never that easy. But that's not what I'm really afraid of. He knows, Victor. He knows everything. He knows who I am and what I do. He knows my real name, Victor, and the fact that I'm Eros. Even if he does go to prison, what's stopping him from telling the world my secret? What's stopping someone else from doing the same?”

“There are ways. Gag orders. Something. We can make it work, there has to be a way to keep his mouth shut. But if you don't feel safe here, we can always go somewhere else. We can go anywhere.”

“I guess… back to L.A. is more than enough,” Yuuri said. “Going back to your home.” He wanted to avoid. He wanted to hide from his problems until they all disappeared. 

“We don't have to go there if you don't want. Anywhere in the world, you say the word. If anyone could use a vacation, it's you.”

Yuuri mulled the words over. His knee jerk instinct was to say no. To say Victor had given him too much already. But the truth of the matter was that L.A. was not ideal. 

People had stopped him on the street before, at least in one area. People knew it was where Aria lived. 

“Maybe…” he admitted. “I don't really want to go somewhere people would recognize me, especially not as Eros.”

“Then L.A. can be ruled out, right? Either they'll recognize you, or they'll recognize me and make the connection-”

“Except I can't afford anywhere expensive,” Yuuri said. “It would have to be somewhere reasonable. I can't afford to jet all over the world-”

“Money isn't an issue,” Victor said firmly. “Pay what you want and I’ll cover the rest.”

“I don't want to owe you any more than I already do,” Yuuri said. “And I can't really afford to jet around the world because I'm a little anxious over something.”

“Yes, but your safety is important to me,” Victor said. “And that makes it worth every penny. Plus, it's something we can do together.”

Together. It did funny things to Yuuri’s heart. There was so much there in that one word, so much potential. Joy, heart-ache, something raw and unfettered and so, so big that it made his chest swell. 

Yuuri clutched at the sheets. “I'll think it over. I would want it to be something we both enjoyed, not just for me.”

With a gentle peck, Victor kissed his nose. It made Yuuri’s heart flutter. “I would enjoy going anywhere, as long as it was with you.”

“Well, I'll have to think about it. But if there's anywhere you want to go, you have to say, okay? I want to go wherever will make you happy, too,” Yuuri said firmly. 

Victor let out a delighted sound and squeezed Yuuri tight. “Aaah Yuuri! Think about where you want to go. Anywhere in the world, anywhere that makes you happy. Think about your favorite places,” Victor said. “Anything or anywhere, say the word, and we’ll go.”

Yuuri closed his eyes, and he nodded. 

* * *

The keys jangled lightly as Phichit thumbed through them, searching for the one that would open the door.

Yuri shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He could smell the foul stench of stale pheromones from here. Time had made the scent weaker, but it could only do so much when an apartment was drenched as thoroughly as this. 

“I can’t believe no one’s complained about the smell,” Yuri said snidely. 

Phichit shrugged. “It’s mostly betas here. I can barely smell it when I’m inside. I don’t think anyone has really noticed.” 

Yuri scoffed. “Well it reeks,” he said. “I hope you brought extra scent neutralizer.”

Phichit kicked the little plastic tote that had been filled up with aerosol spray cans and cleaners designed to neutralize the pheromones of alphas and omegas. “Hopefully this is enough. I don’t think we’ll run out, but I wanted to be sure. Thanks for agreeing to help.”

“Well it’s not like you gave me much choice,” Yuri said. “Anyway. Let’s just hurry up and get this done.” 

The door swung open, and the noxious reek of alpha came pouring out of the room. Yuri gagged. Even Phichit winced briefly. “Ok, this is pretty bad. Let’s get to work.”

Right off the bat, Yuri could tell there were certain spots that were more heavily concentrated with the scent than other places. The couch was one of the worst offenders. It would need to be burned, or at the very least, bathed in so much scent neutralizer that it probably wouldn’t be the same. 

Yuri gagged as he sniffed each cushion. Only two of them had been scented, but the reek clung to the fabric and permeated most of the apartment. Yuri tossed them behind him to Phichit, and Phichit marked them with a small, round, colorful sticker that indicated it needed to be cleaned deeper. 

The rug was thankfully pretty clean and didn’t need more than a quick spraydown with the aerosols. Phichit wiped off most of the available surfaces. They threw the windows open wide, turned on the fans, and worked their way from room to room. The kitchen wasn’t as bad as the living room, and Phichit’s room had barely been touched. 

Yuri found his hands shaking with rage. It was like the bastard focused on places Eros frequented. 

Of all the shitty, low, dirty, no good things for an alpha to do to terrorize an omega, this was one of the worst. People like this fucker gave alphas a bad rap. Marking an omega’s home like a fucking dog marking territory… 

When they had worked their way through most of the rooms, Phichit stopped in the hall. He was hunched inward on himself, uneasy in his own home. 

“I don’t know if Yuuri will even want to come back. I wouldn’t blame him. He likes to avoid his problems. He always has, for as long as I’ve known him. But I hope this doesn’t drive him away completely.”

“He’s not going to run,” Yuri said. “That stubborn bastard? He’d stay to spite the guy. You might have lived with him, but I’ve seen him playing video games. Vengeful little bastard. He’s tougher than he thinks, trust me. He just needs to get mad enough.”

Phichit pursed his lips and shook his head. “I hope you’re right.” Phichit pushed open the last door. The worst of the odor poured out, thicker here than anywhere else in the apartment. Phichit coughed at the smell of it, and braced himself before stepping inside.

The stink of it nearly bowled Yuri off his feet. He grimaced as he stepped into a deceptively simple room, the walls white and unadorned, a desk in one corner, a bed along one wall, and a work out ball pushed into a corner. The sheets were worse than any of the furniture in any of the other rooms. 

There was a lingering smell of omega-sweet pleasure that had seeped deep into the carpet, the mattress, but it was tinged and fouled by fear and anxiety, and by the overwhelming rush of alpha pheromones bathing everything in here. Phichit didn’t hesitate, going straight for the bedsheets and stripping them from the bed.

He stooped as he walked out, grabbing something from the doorway and throwing it at Yuri. Yuri fumbled to catch it. It was a can of aerosol neutralizer. “Start covering the room,” Phichit said. He pulled his shirt up over his nose to cover the smell and marched out, arms full and heavy with the blankets from the bed. 

As Phichit dropped them in the washing machine, Yuri took a step back, expression grim.

This was exactly where the camera was always placed. The point of view was identical here, the same vantage point overlooking Eros’s bed. It was the perfect place to capture the sprawl of limbs, the clutching of his fingers at the bedsheets, and the way Eros threw back his head in pleasure on his shows. 

Yuuri could never find out, Yuri decided, giving the can a vigorous shake and starting to spray. His own uneasiness was buried under aerosol clouds, along with the residual traces of all the other scents in the room. 

The scent died, just like Alphalite was going to.

* * *

 

Home felt like a foreign concept to Yuuri. His own apartment felt like something strange and alien to him, stripped bare of its familiar scents and left with only sullied memories. Victor nuzzled him from behind, and a rush of his scent fell over Yuuri’s skin as they embraced.  

Vicchan came running to the door, circling their ankles with excited yips, and Yuuri let out a breath. Despite it all, he was home. 

Yuuri gathered Vicchan in his arms, and was smothered by the frantic licking and nipping of the excitable little poodle wriggling in his grip. It was second nature to smile and coo and simply enjoy having his beloved poodle back in his arms again. This was home. 

Yuuri wouldn’t let someone take that away from him so easily. 

Guang Hong was back in his own apartment, released before Yuuri had been, and now it was Yuuri’s turn to enjoy the freedom of sleeping in his own bed. 

Phichit and Yurio were camped out on the sofa, watching TV and bickering over channels. Two of the cushions were curiously absent. 

“So what now?” Victor asked. 

Yuuri sighed. There was so much to do he didn’t know where to start. He had to sort out his summer plans with Victor, figure out what he wanted to do with his life, with his show, and he needed to figure out what he would do about the alpha that had taken him. 

“I think I need a lawyer,” Yuuri said honestly. Out of everything, that seemed like the easiest task to tackle. “I don’t know anything about the legal system, especially in America. We should start looking for someone affordable.”

“The university might be able to put us in contact with lawyers who represent college students,” Phichit suggested. 

Victor pursed his lips. Yurio shot him a warning look. Yuuri frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I know someone who can help,” Victor said slowly. 

“No, he doesn’t,” Yurio said automatically, his expression turning dark. “He doesn’t.”

Phichit looked between them, eyes narrowed. 

“What are we missing?” Yuuri asked. 

“I can get a lawyer here. It won’t cost you a thing. She’s settled countless cases in Russia and the United States. She’s one of the best. She will get that bastard punished to the fullest extent of the law,” Victor said. 

Yuuri squinted. “And? What’s the catch?” 

“No catch. I just have to call, and she can be on the first flight to Michigan,” Victor said. 

Yurio bristled. “There is too a catch. You know she’ll tell your family, and you know your mom is going to want to know why you need a lawyer. You  _ know _ she’s going to call.”

“Then I’ll talk to her,” Victor said. “Yuuri needs a lawyer, and I doubt the courts or the school can appoint him one that will fight for him the way he needs.” He ended with a hard finality in his tone. No more would be said about it. 

They stared each other down for a long minute, before Yurio huffed and turned away. “Your funeral, I guess.” 

Yuuri hated this feeling of secrets openly kept from him. It burned inside him, but if Victor didn’t want to talk, now was not the time to pry into the matter. 

Victor rarely spoke about his family. It was something Yuuri had never consciously realized until now. Yurio was his cousin, but beyond that, Yuuri knew nothing about Victor’s parents, other than that both were alphas. 

Maybe Yuuri hadn’t thought about it because he didn’t bring up his family all that much, either. But Yuuri at least talked to his family, called them every other week and talked about how things were going. He might have lied about things the last two months, but he still talked. 

But from the way Victor talked, Yuuri had to doubt Victor did the same. 

“We don’t have to do that,” Yuuri said. “There are local lawyers.”

Victor smiled, crooked and sweet, the kind of heartfelt smile that made Yuuri’s heart melt. “If it’s the distance that bothers you, she has no problems with flying here. She flies between Russia and Los Angeles several times a year. I think I’ve got her card somewhere in my wallet,” he added, fumbling through his wallet.

He pulled out an old, worn business card. It was plain and white, once made of nice paper but aged and kept in a wallet for months or even years. On one side, Yuuri could see a simple but nice black script.

An LB logo took up the heading of the card, and below it, Yuuri could see the ‘Lilia Baranovskaya Attorney at Law’ written. Above the English, there was a string of cyrillic, likely the same written out once more

Beside the names, there was a phone number, an email, and a fax number. 

Yuuri turned it over. Something was handwritten on the back, but it was cursive and cyrillic, and Yuuri couldn’t discern what it might have said.

“You’re sure she won’t mind?”

“Most of her job these days tends towards business law and international sanctions but she got her start in the sexual abuse courts. She would just have to brush up on the latest policies and she would be ready to go.”

Yuuri turned the card back over, reading the name again and again until the letters were engraved in his mind. He looked up at Victor, then over to Yurio, whose whole body was tense. He was perched on the edge of the sofa like an angry cat, practically twitching. 

“Yurio, is this a bad idea?”

“I’ve never met her,” Yurio said simply. “If Victor wants to get into this, then he can go right ahead. I’m staying out of this, as far as the lawyer is concerned.”

Yuuri passed the card back to Victor, looking him in the eyes. Victor seemed so genuine, his eyes soft and blue and warm. “Yuuri, this is our best bet. I promise.” 

“Then let’s do it,” Yuuri said. Victor wouldn't do this if he thought it wasn't the best option. Yuuri would have to trust that Victor knew what he was doing.

* * *

 

Lilia arrived two days later in a whirlwind of luggage. A tall, imposing woman in heels, her face pinched and cold, she disembarked the plane to Victor and Yuuri waiting at the gate.

“Thank you for coming, Madam Lilia,” Victor said, dipping his head in greeting. 

“Expect a call in two hours,” she said briskly. Her voice was clipped, slightly accented and straight to the point. “Where are you parked? I have several errands I need to run immediately. We’re short on time, so let’s get started.” 

Yuuri exchanged a look with Victor, who immediately started to move. “Right, right, this way, We’ve got the car parked nearby.” 

Lilia was not given to chatting, even on the drive to their first stop. All she said was to ask Victor if he had booked her hotel, to which he replied by passing over the key to a suite in one of the nicer hotels in the area. 

When they’d at last dropped her off and returned to Yuuri’s apartment, Victor let out a shuddering breath. “What time did she land?” 

“Eleven?” Yuuri said. It was nearly one now.

Victor swore. “I’ll be back,” he promised. “Can I borrow Guang Hong’s car?” 

“Do you know where you’re going?” Yuuri asked dubiously. Victor didn’t know the area. They were only borrowing Guang Hong’s car until he was cleared to drive again, anyway.

Victor nodded. “I’m just running a quick errand. I promise.” Yuuri tossed him the keys and Victor patted his pockets for his phone. “I’ll be back soon,” he promised. He ducked his head, pressing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s forehead before leaving. 

Yuuri shivered.

Victor’s kisses were frequent and spontaneous, often with no more warning than a sudden dip of his head. Every single one made something flutter in Yuuri’s chest. 

The last few days since coming home had been a strange thing. It was the first time he’d actually spent time with Victor since they’d started this relationship. Talking on the phone was one thing, texting, skype calls, and watching each other perform on their cam shows.

Having Victor actually here was not what Yuuri had expected. The closeness was the same, the tactile urge to touch and be touched was not entirely unlike the feeling during pre-heat. But now it didn’t have that embarrassing edge to it. It wasn’t driven by animal urges and pheromones.

It didn’t have a visible expiration date. 

Victor saw nothing wrong with sharing Yuuri’s bed, holding him close and scenting him during the night. Victor didn't think it was strange that Yuuri wanted to bury his nose in Victor’s neck and breathe deeply. It only made his chest rumble with contentment. 

They could stand together against this, and they’d see it through to the very end. Victor promised. And Yuuri would do everything to make it worth it to him in in the end.

Victor came back to the apartment several hours after he left, curiously quiet. He folded Yuuri into his arms and murmured into Yuuri’s ear, “Lilia wants to speak with us.”

“Is everything alright, Victor?” Yuuri asked.

Victor smiled and hummed. “I’m alright, Yuuri, don’t you worry. Let’s just get moving.”

Lilia was brutally efficient from the word go. 

Within a matter of hours, she had begun to gather information on the case and drafted an initial plan of attack for the next few days. With her connections, she had even gotten herself an office in a local law firm. 

They met her in the borrowed office. The room was cozy, and clearly belonged to someone else, if the photos on the desk were any indication. A large stack of manilla folders were piled up along one end of the desk. 

“How bad is it?” Yuuri asked, already feeling the apprehension beginning to rise inside him once more. The sick memories made bile rise in the back of his throat, and he swallowed them back before they could show on his face.

“Robert Williams,” Lilia said. “No priors. He is out on a million dollar bail.”

“He’s out?” Yuuri choked, at the same time Victor said, “a million?”

“As long as he’s paid it, he doesn’t have to sit in prison until his sentencing. However, if he violates the terms of the bail and doesn’t return to court, he will lose the money. I would assume he’s taken out a bail bond to cover the costs. He doesn’t stand a chance of repaying if he skips out, so if this man has even the slightest shred of intelligence, or at least listens to his lawyer, he won’t act out,” Lilia said. “Take comfort in that, at least.”

“Still,” Yuuri choked. “A million dollars?” Yuuri wasn’t worth that, not by a long shot. 

“You’re right,” Victor growled. “It should be much higher.”

“That’s the limit for the charges he was brought in on,” Lilia said brusquely. “His arraignment was already held, and the preliminary trial is in a week and half. He isn't pleading guilty, as far as I know. We’ll need a testimonial from you. Later, we’ll also need to discuss some of the matters that are certain to come up in court so that you’re prepared for them.”

The discussion lasted for a long time, and by the end of it, Yuuri felt exhausted and emotionally drained. It wouldn’t be a cut and dry case. It wasn’t like TV. 

There wouldn’t be ten minutes of discussion, the fall of a gavel, and a judge sentencing the alpha to prison for the rest of his days. It would be weeks of waiting, debating, and discussion, drawn out arguments in court. Things would be dredged up that Yuuri might not like.

Yuuri was silent on the ride back to the apartment. It was late and dark, and Yuuri stared out the windows as they pulled up to the apartment complex. They climbed the stairs in silence, hand in hand. Outside the door to the apartment, Yuuri paused. 

“Stay by my side,” he whispered. “Please. I know I’m being selfish, but… I can’t do this alone.” 

Victor smiled at him, so small, so sweet, something true and genuine. “I love when you’re selfish.” Yuuri blinked, hopeful. “We’ll do this together. I’ll call Chris and have him fly Makkachin out here.”

From Yuuri’s pocket, there was a soft buzz, his ringtone singing out a familiar tone. Mari. Yuuri smiled. “My sister,” he said.

“Talk to your family,” Victor said. He pressed a kiss to Yuuri’s cheek. “Relax. And don’t ever forget that all of us are here for you.”

Yuuri nodded, feeling lighter than he had in days. “I know.”

* * *

 

Everything was wound a turn too tightly. The familiar feeling of nerves under his skin was an old friend, an odd kind of excitement. He slicked back his hair one last time, knowing the shaking feeling was normal, the fluttering of his heart. 

This was the age old rush. Hundreds of people would join him soon. Thousands. So many, more than he could count. But only one person in the world mattered. There was no time now or room for doubts. 

In the mirror, he saw himself as though looking at another person, someone he’d seen once in a dream, but forgotten about upon waking. His eyes were lined with makeup and glittering. The robe he wore was thin and silken, nearly transparent, glittering black and gauzy. Beneath it was a simple pair of boxers. Victor had picked the robe out. 

Waiting for Lilia to arrive had been a nerve-wracking enough experience, but the thought of doing this with Victor, staying here with him by Yuuri’s side for now, for this moment, for this short period of time, however long it lasted. 

It was enough to set Yuuri’s heart a little more at ease. 

And this robe now was Yuuri’s favorite he’d ever worn. Black and silver, it was a work of pure beauty. And yet, beneath it, Yuuri wasn’t wearing anything outside the ordinary for him. The black boxer briefs were the same style he’d worn when his show was small, before he fought tooth and nail to be something he didn’t need to be. 

He wore them because he didn’t have to dress up for anyone. It made him feel beautiful instead of slutty. It made him feel wanted instead of desperate. It was comfortable and he was free. 

He stepped out of the bathroom, where Victor was waiting, dressed in his own simple robe. His eyes were drawn to Victor’s sizeable cock, soft in the tighter black panties and still so big, bulging in the front almost obscenely. 

Yuuri laughed softly. “They’re not working so well, are they?”

“It’s a little tight,” Victor agreed, adjusting himself in the panties. It was a different pair than his usual choice, and it showed. The tip of his cock was escaping out the leg. “You’re sure about this?” he asked.

Yuuri nodded. “I want this more than anything,” he said firmly. “Unless… you don’t-?”

“No- no,” Victor said quickly, looking relieved. “Let’s do this.” That strange look on his face had been nerves, Yuuri realized. He closed his eyes. Bonding with Victor. There was no going back, and Yuuri didn’t want it any other way. 

Victor shed the panties before kneeling on the bed, letting his cock hang free between his thighs. Saving a step, really. Victor made himself comfortable there on the pillows, reclining back. The loosely tied robe pooled around him.

“Are we ready?” Yuuri asked. 

“Ready when you are,” Phichit said, turning on the display screen. The comment feed was visible now, and a small view of what the camera would display. 

Yuuri nodded, and Phichit counted down, the camera light blinking to life. The screen showed a familiar sight: Eros’s bedroom, with its striped sheets and the plain blue comforter, but with a new addition.

AlphaAria hummed, his head falling back as his hands slid down his body, seductive and slow. His cock laid down his thigh, soft and pink, waiting for Yuuri to arrive. The comment section was going crazy. 

The Eros website was back online for today only, with a simulcast on Aria’s site. Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to look at the viewership numbers. But he could see the comments flying over the screen. 

**> >BigDickDaddy:** Eros?????

**> >Thunderfuck: ** That’s definitely Eros’s room but where is he

**> >Ariaslittlegirl: ** ARIAAAAAAAAAAA

**> >sparkleho: ** whats going onnnnn

**> >Stargirlxxx:** good fucking god his cock is so big *sweats*

**> >touchedbyadick: ** this better not be a fucking joke

“Eros,” Aria whispered. His eyes closed, and his exploring palms slid down his thighs, fingers splayed. “Eros…”

Yuuri smiled to himself. 

He shrugged the robe down from his shoulders so it would sit in the crooks of his elbows and he stepped forward. His body blocked the camera for a brief moment. He kneeled over the bed, crawling forward on his hands and knees to straddle Victor. 

Victor welcomed him to bed with a kiss. He pulled Yuuri forward, their bodies sliding together in a moment of airy bliss. The comment tone was blurring together from the rapid fire posting of comments. 

Yuuri laughed into the kiss. Were they surprised? Angry? Excited to see him back? It didn’t matter. They couldn’t look away. 

Hands slid down his spine, pulling down the silky robe and exposing the length of his back. Victor’s touch was fire and heat boiling over his skin. The heat of Victor’s mouth made Yuuri melt. 

Yuuri let Victor pull the robe off him and discard it, hands sliding down his skin to settle firmly over Yuuri’s buttocks. It was possessive, claiming. He squeezed.

Yuuri panicked.  _ Run danger alpha alpha alpha _ \- Victor sighed a soft breath of, “Eros,” and Yuuri went stiff and still. Victor’s eyes were closed, and Yuuri forced his own to follow. He wasn’t there anymore. He was safe. The hands on his skin were Victor’s. The people watching could look, but never touch.

Only Victor would be able to claim him. Only Victor, and everyone else in the world could only watch as Victor claimed what was his, as Yuuri took the same in return. 

The sounds of comments spurred him on, sent Yuuri’s trembling hands sliding down Victor’s skin, skimming beneath the robes to touch whatever it could reach. Victor’s breath caught. 

Yuuri’s touch traveled lower, and so too did his kisses, growing more confident with every hard suck and nip. Down Victor’s neck, lavishing attention on the slight bump of Victor’s scent gland. Victor shivered beneath him. A little moan escaped. Yuuri could feel Victor palm the meat of his ass, his thighs, rolling it through his fingers. 

“Aria,” Yuuri groaned. “You taste so good.” He couldn’t help himself. The heavy scent in the air was beginning to settle in his head, clouding his mind over. More, he wanted so much more of Victor, everything he had to give. 

Yuuri pulled away and moved down, kneeling between Victor’s thighs. 

Victor was stiffening already from just a bit of kissing, already excited, and Yuuri was more than eager to open his lips and drag his tongue from tip to root. Victor sucked in a sharp breath. Yuuri pulled back and slipped the head between his lips.

It stretched his jaw to the limits, aching and heavy on his tongue as Yuuri swallowed it down. He hollowed his throat and took Victor deeper. He could feel Victor’s cock twitching on his tongue, feel it stiffening and growing in his mouth as Victor’s cock swelled in size. 

Victor fisted his hands into Yuuri’s hair, and a broken rasp ripped from his chest. “Eros, ah, Eros,” he gasped. Victor’s hips twitched, and the head of Victor’s cock hit the back of Yuuri’s throat. Yuuri gagged on it, tears pricking in his eyes, but the salty taste of precome was already driving him mad. 

He moaned softly as Victor’s grip tightened in his hair, pulling hard at his scalp, and the hips twitched again, slowly rocking, fucking Yuuri’s throat. It was too big, too much to hold in his mouth, too much to fit down his throat. He couldn’t breathe around it. 

Yuuri pulled off with a gasp. He was breathing hard, struggling to catch his breath. His cheek pressed against Victor’s thigh, and he looked up. Victor was flushed to his chest, his blue eyes glazed. Victor’s cock was painfully hard now, standing tall and prod, his arousal so shameless and visible for everyone to see. 

“Mine,” Yuuri whispered. He went after it, chasing the taste of it like an addict getting the high he so desperately craved. But that was what Victor was: food to a starving man, a hit to an addict. The alpha to his omega. Yuuri wanted every inch of him. 

He could feel Victor growing close, cock twitching in his mouth and his hands. Yuuri started to pull back. Suddenly Victor wrapped a leg around him, flipping them over and pinning Yuuri to the bed. 

“You're not nearly turned on enough,” Victor purred. “I want to taste you, Eros. Can I?”

“Aria, please,” Yuuri begged. He spread his legs. Victor made short work of the black briefs, discarding them onto the floor with a flick of his fingers. The heat of his mouth enveloped Yuuri’s cock. A finger pushed up between his legs, circling the rim of his hole once as the only warning before plunging in. 

Yuuri cried out. How long had it been since he'd touched himself properly? How long had it been since he'd let himself come undone while people watched him, while people got off to him losing himself to his own pleasure? Too long. Too damned long.

Even their embraces at night were platonic, when they wrapped one another in their arms and held each other close. 

His body was dripping with the need of it, Victor’s finger meeting almost no resistance as it slid inside of the tight heat of Yuuri’s body. It was almost right, so close to perfect. 

But it was a pale imitation of what it could be. Victor crooked his finger inside, giving it a few shallow thrusts, searching. 

A second finger slid inside to join the first, probing and scissoring with teasing motions. Yuuri arched off the bed with a cry. He stifled it into his hand, turning his head away. Victor had located the bundle of nerves he'd been searching for. 

Yuuri’s vision went white. Victor swallowed him down and fucked his fingers harder into Yuuri, opening him up with brutal, teasing efficiency. “So good,” Victor panted. “You’re so good for me.”

Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open. With the contact lenses in, he could see the comments flying by at a racing pace, rivaling even Yurio’s gaming chat. Victor pressed another finger in, and Yuuri keened into the back of his hand. 

He was spread out on the bed beneath Victor’s body, his limbs an erotic sprawl over the simple sheets. He was naked and he was owned. 

**> >OG_Dom:** GET SOME 

**> >UN83L13V3R: ** someone tell aria to get off that tiny ass omega cock and suck something with a little more meat on it

**> >ARIOS4LIFE: ** MY CROPS ARE WATERED

**> >rivialins:** someone tell aria this is an eros show and to kindly fuck off

**> >SklsdskdIWdskal: ** An Eros show? Oh honey no

**> >ARIOS4LIFE: ** MY SKIN IS CLEAR

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** Well since they both seem to be enjoying this, I think you should both fuck off

**> >Thunderfuck:** ohmygod I can’t believe he’s actually back

**> >MARRYMEEROS:** HE’S BAAAAACK LOOK AT HIM MY BOY

**> >ARIOS4LIFE: ** MY GRADES ARE UP

“Eros,” Victor breathed, a soft reassurance, but Yuuri didn’t need it. His body felt taut and open, hungry for more. He wanted to tease. He wanted a show. He wanted the world to see this more than anything else. 

He rolled them over again, flipping Victor onto his back. He crawled off, and smiled coyly as Victor slid back up onto the pillows.  _ I love you _ . Yuuri shaped the words with his lips, and Victor’s face went bright pink. 

Victor smiled, and he mouthed the words back. 

Yuuri straddled Victor’s hips, settling the long, thick length of Victor’s cock so it pressed against his crack. They exchanged another heated kiss, and Yuuri was suddenly struck by the familiarity of this. 

Once upon a time, in his wildest dreams, Yuuri imagined having Aria here in his bed. His darkest fantasies, his most heated desires, all of them culminated in having the perfect, tapered body laying on his mattress, his arms around Yuuri’s waist, and Yuuri sliding up, letting the head drag along his taint in a delicious kind of torture. 

Yuuri rose up. Big Red didn’t compare. The glittery abomination he’d bought was nothing. Yuuri pressed the blunt head against his body, and he sank down with an abbreviated gasp. He lowered himself only a little ways down and had to stop.

His hands clutched at Victor’s shoulders for purchase, his eyes screwing shut and he writhed. “Fuck, fuck, so big,” he gasped, shuddering. “Bigger than I remember.”

“You’re not in heat,” Victor reminded him gently. 

“I can still take it,” Yuuri said with a scowl. Just because he wasn’t in heat or just coming off of one didn’t mean he couldn’t handle it. He forced himself down further, and he could feel every hard, thick inch penetrating his body, forcing him open wider than he ever could have imagined.

It felt like being split in two. His whole world narrowed, and he couldn’t think of anything beyond the drive of Victor pushing inexorably deeper with every breath. Yuuri cried out when Victor rolled his hips, pulling out slightly and giving a gentle push to send the shaft deeper, further inside, reaching places that Yuuri couldn’t touch inside himself without assistance from his toys. 

Yuuri cried out the entire final few inches. Victor was just too big. Yuuri’s whole world was down to him being spitted on Victor’s cock like a warm cock sleeve, and it was  _ perfection _ . Yuuri wheezed as he bottomed out, feeling the press of Victor’s balls against his ass and the fullness reaching so deeply inside of him that it seemed like he couldn’t even breathe.

He rubbed his own stomach.

He could feel Victor inside him. He could feel the swell of Victor’s cock through his skin, pushing against the spot behind his navel in a little bulge. 

“You’re so perfect,” Victor babbled, replacing Yuuri’s hands with his own. He looked delirious with pleasure. He could barely hold his eyes open, though they were transfixed on the small swell of his own cock filling Yuuri so much, connecting them so deeply that it could be seen like this. 

Yuuri let his hands slide over Victor’s stomach, up his chest and over his pecs. Yuuri pushed him down. “Mine,” he growled. He rose up off Victor’s cock, giving an experimental little roll of his hips that sent his head falling back. He gasped, his world falling out beneath him as he lowered back down, emptied and filled again. 

Victor made the prettiest noises beneath him, nearly coming undone the first time Yuuri dropped down and screamed. It wasn’t more intense than the first time. It was no more electric, no more surprising and painful and pleasurable at once. But this time there was no fog to cloud Yuuri’s mind. 

He built up his pace, riding Victor hard into the bed, chasing his own pleasure with a single-minded determination. This was it. This was everything Yuuri had ever wanted. Victor sat up, shifting Yuuri to lay against him, chest to chest. Yuuri’s rocking slowed. The thrusts were a little more shallow, but this angle made each thrust drag perfectly over Yuuri’s prostate until he was nearly an incoherent mess moaning into Victor’s shoulder.

“Come for me,” Victor whispered. His hand came down to stroke Yuuri’s cock. “Come for me, Eros.”

“Aria, Aria-” Yuuri cried. “Mine.”

“Mine,” Victor agreed, kissing Yuuri tenderly. Yuuri spilled into Victor’s hand with a little gasp. Victor rocked his hips gently, his arms wrapping Yuuri up and holding him close as something hard and thick pulled at Yuuri’s rim.

His knot. 

Yuuri moaned. “Mmm Aria, please, knot me, I want it,” he begged. 

“What’s that, Eros?” Victor said. He grinned impishly. “I can’t hear you.” The knot tugged at the rim again, just waiting to catch the rest of the way. 

Yuuri clawed at Victor’s back. It was driving him crazy. “Please please, knot me, knot me,” he cried. “Make me yours. Aria, please!”

Victor took mercy on him, kissing long and slow right over the spot on Yuuri’s scent gland that drove him wild. Yuuri twitched and his body clutched at Victor, and suddenly Victor groaned. The knot swelled, growing in size just inside the tight rim and locking them together as Victor came. 

Yuuri could feel Victor’s teeth digging into his lips, barely resisting biting down directly onto Yuuri’s skin. 

Yuuri dragged his lips up and down Victor’s throat before stopping to whisper in his ear, voice husky and ruined from screaming his pleasure. “Mark me,” he said. “Mark me, mate me, make me yours.”

“Going to show them all who I belong to,” Victor purred. “Who you belong to, my love.”

“Do it,” Yuuri gasped, as Victor snapped his hips, dragging the long, heavy weight of his cock over Yuuri’s prostate once more. Victor’s lips closed over the spot, the cruelest tease, and sucked hard. Yuuri kissed the spot on Victor’s own neck, almost frantic. “Aria, need you-”

Victor bit. Yuuri inhaled sharply, too shocked to even make a sound before his own teeth sank down. Pleasure ripped through them, more intense than any orgasm, and Yuuri was coming again, crying out into Victor’s neck as blood covered his lips. 

It became a feedback loop of delirious pleasure, Yuuri clenching his teeth, making Victor whimper and clench his own teeth, and causing Yuuri to feel the need to do the same in turn once more.

They were one, their minds and bodies and souls a single twisted entity rutting and lost to their passion. His his his, Victor was all his. For now, for this moment, Victor was all his, and he belonged to Victor. His heart would likely be Victor’s forever and ever, if only Victor would do the same. 

It was deep, and passionate, and terrifying in one, and Yuuri was ready to fight to protect this feeling now that it was put to light, now that everyone could see just how lost Yuuri was for this one man. 

The comedown was longer than anything outside of a heat Yuuri had ever known. Victor was already softening by the time Yuuri was conscious enough of his own body to feel the iron tang on his tongue, the salt of sweat above his lip. His hair was clinging to his forehead in sticky tendrils where it had fallen from its slicked back style. 

Yuuri raked it back, glaring at the camera and holding Victor close. He let his expression go sultry, possessive, and just a bit dangerous. “Mine,” he said. 

He felt Victor spill inside him one last time. 

* * *

Bonding didn’t consciously register as anything different in Yuuri’s mind. It felt just the same as Yuuri always felt, a lingering desire to be close to Victor, to make him happy, to see him smile.

Victor was effervescent. On him, it looked like a high, his pupils hugely dilated and his speech practically singing as he cradled Yuuri in his arms, even clingier than normal. “Eros, my love, my sweet,” he cooed. 

Yuuri wiped his face with the back of his hand, and it came away stained with slightly dried blood. Victor’s neck was an eviscerated mess, like a wild animal had attacked it. Yuuri’s own neck was stinging. “Aria,” Yuuri purred. “Aria, I love you.”

He wrapped his arms gently around Victor, and he rubbed his cheek into Victor’s hair. The tips were stained a rusty brown near the site of the bond bite. “That’s the show,” he said, eying the camera. “I’m Eros.”

“And I’m Aria,” Victor hummed. His hand slid up Yuuri’s spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. 

“See you next level,” they said at the same time, and Phichit turned the camera off. The screen on the display went dark. The comment section never stopped racing. 

Yuuri pulled off Victor’s cock with a shallow cry. He flopped forward onto the bed, moaning, “I’m never moving again.”

“Not even to kiss me?” Victor asked, pouting, and Yuuri blew him a kiss. He felt almost drunk, dizzy and buzzing and lighter than air. He wanted to pull Victor into his arms and never let him go. 

He never wanted to move again. “Huurts,” he groaned. He clamped a hand over his neck. Phichit passed over the bottle of antiseptic and a towel, and Yuuri made himself roll over. He felt a sharp pain right above his tailbone, deep inside his stomach, even aching as far up as his lungs. 

He started to clean Victor’s neck with gentle swipes of the cloth, wiping the blood away with gentle touches. The placement of the bite was perfect, a pristine ring around Victor’s scent gland that would mark up beautifully when it healed. Yuuri’s mark. 

“How does it look?” Victor asked him.

“It’s perfect,” Yuuri said. He was breathless. “How’s mine?”

Victor took his own cloth, and he wiped the blood away, his eyes wide and elated. “Beautiful. It’s so beautiful, Yuuri.”

“You two are precious,” Phichit sniffed. He dabbed at fake tears, and snapped a picture. “Congrats you two. Camboy-specific areas of social media is imploding.”

“Is it because of the bonding?” Yuuri asked. 

“Possibly. I think we might be the first to do something like this on a cam show. At the very least, if anyone had before, it was definitely not anything with this level of viewership or attention to it.”

“But also, Yuuri,” Phichit said. He threw more towels at them both, wrinkling his nose from the smell. “You were gone for a whole month. That’s an eternity in camboy time. And then suddenly you just show up and bond with another of the biggest names in the industry. What a comeback.”

Yuuri started to wipe himself off. His eyes skated over to the screen, still showing a rapid-fire flurry of comments streaming past. So much discussion. 

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** holy fucking shit

**> >rivialins: ** This is not what I signed up for but wow… that was pretty hot

**> >ARIOS4EVER: ** I HAVE ASCENDED

**> >Stargirlxxx: ** hey congrats eros ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) marked up looks good on you

He could recognize several other names, BigDickDaddy, OG_Dom, and others, congratulating him. A few people were bitter, but they were vastly overwhelmed in numbers. Yuuri couldn’t hardly breathe, his chest felt so light. Even the slut comments felt so far away. 

8.2k Watching Now

That was over eight thousand people who had watched Yuuri come undone for Victor. He broke down on Victor’s shoulder. Something deep inside him started to unwind at long last. 

“I don’t want to give this up,” he cried. “Not completely. I can’t, Victor, I-”

“We can bring your show back. Or we can make our own. Not just Aria, not just Eros, but Eros and Aria together. You don’t have to give it up.”

Yuuri smiled. “That would be amazing.”

There was a sweet kind of scent in the air, after everything ended. Phichit left to save Guang Hong and Seung Gil from Yurio, and Yuuri couldn't help but notice that for once, since coming home, there was something pleasant about the scent. 

Arriving back, all of the scents had been stripped bare, made completely neutral. Yuuri could never repay Phichit enough for doing something like that. Having the foreign alpha scent purged was such a relief. 

And yet the lack of scents put Yuuri on edge. Even betas had a scent, though it was muted and hard to distinguish. But the scent neutralization stripped it all completely bare, leaving a void that left him uneasy. 

The void was gone now, the house smelling heavy and sweet of Victor and Yuuri’s mating. They laid naked in the bed facing one another, foreheads touching and murmuring about everything under the sun: poodles and skating, food and dance, and everything they could imagine. 

Their cocks were aligned in Victor’s hand, and he was stroking them off slowly, barely more than a gentle bit of stimulation to keep them on edge.

Yuuri couldn’t stop looking at the mark between Victor’s neck and shoulder. Cleaned and painted with disinfectant, it was glossy and getting a bit of air before it would be bandaged again. Yuuri’s own mark stung like fire, but the weight of it was a constant reminder of Victor’s teeth on him, marking them as bonded.

Victor twisted his wrist, and Yuuri grunted as it sent a wave of pleasure through him. He closed his eyes, and he let his mind wander again over the events of the show. It was almost perfect. People wouldn’t be fully accepting and that was fine, because Yuuri knew that this wasn’t about them.

It was about what he and Victor wanted. 

Victor stroked them off, and they kissed as they came, spilling on each other’s stomachs. 

Victor’s expression softened when he came. There was something perfect and vulnerable and beautiful about it, the way his breath caught and shuddered out between his lips. Yuuri was still staring when Victor spoke.

“Have you given any thought on where you want to go when this is done?” Yuuri was too tired to control his face, too surprised to hide his expression fast enough. “Aha, so you do,” Victor said. His head cocked, and he smiled. “Come on, Yuuuuri, where do you want to go?”

Yuuri shook his head. “It’s stupid.” The idea had come to him, and he’d immediately shot it down for a reason.

“It’s not stupid. If it’s where you want to go, then I do too,” Victor said. He sat up. He almost looked serious. But Victor was only humoring Yuuri on this matter.  

“You don’t want to go there. It’s expensive and you probably wouldn’t enjoy it and-” Victor took his hands as Yuuri started to babble. He gave Yuuri a serious look. “Home,” Yuuri admitted. “Back to japan.”

Victor’s expression briefly flickered with something unreadable. 

“See, I knew you wouldn’t want to-” Yuuri started.

Victor smothered Yuuri in kisses, cradling his cheeks in his hands. Victor was smiling, wide and sparkling. Something about it made Yuuri uneasy, in the way his easy, heart-shaped smiles never did. 

“I’d love to meet your family, Yuuri. Let’s do it. Let’s go, as soon as we’re free of this.”

“You’re serious?” Yuuri said. “Really, we don’t have to, we can go somewhere more extravagant. My family’s hot spring isn’t anything that remarkable, and it’s barely on the map, really-”

“Hot spring?” Victor asked, perking up even more. “That sounds like exactly the kind of thing to help you unwind. I think it sounds like a great idea.”

Yuuri let out a breath. “Well. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Victor assured him. 

* * *

The suit was itchy on Yuuri’s skin. Victor had already sworn to replace the entire thing and burn the tie, and Yuuri had talked him down on the grounds that there wasn’t time to replace it.

At the very least, the comment had taken Yuuri’s mind off this. He looked up at the municipal courthouse. 

It would have been a nice day if not for the chill down Yuuri’s spine. 

Today he’d go into court and face his attacker for the first time since the arrest. His body refused to stop shaking. He couldn’t do this. He was going to mess everything up, that monster would walk free and it would all be Yuuri’s fault.

Yuuri lashed his hand out, clutching for Victor’s. He took a steadying breath. 

This wasn’t the time for fear. He was here to put this bastard away for good, and he wasn’t going to let anything stand in his way. He stepped forward toward the building.

Lilia said the road would be long and hard, but he had Victor by his side. He had Phichit. He had people who cared about him. Yuuri was ready to fight. 

And he was here to win. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the end of AEoM, but it is not the end of Yuuri's story. Feel free to subscribe to me here, follow me on tumblr at aurum-auri.tumblr.com and on twitter at twitter.com/AurumAuri14 if you want the latest updates on this and any other works I post. 
> 
> And again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.


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